Being yourself, being popular, loving dolls

I don't think I've ever worried about being popular in my life. I've always gone with "the people who get me matter, and the people who don't get me don't matter." I don't mean that they don't matter as people; of course they do! I just mean that I am not concerned about what they think about me. I've always been the type of person that most people think is the smart and goody-goody type, and throughout high school I was never picked on or abused in any way. I had a mutual "respectfully-ignore" type relationship with ~75% of the school and a friendly one with the rest.

My policy is to always be straightforward, and lots of people have commented that I act the same way no matter who I am talking to. That is, I do not alter my behavior when I am with different people. So I would talk about dolls to anyone who asked, although I never broadcasted them. Most of my friends think they are cute and are nice about them, but probably would never get dolls of their own, which is fine.

I guess the bottom line is that I am not overly anxious to fit in with someone who would judge me based on a harmless hobby, and I am not going to alter or hide my behavior in the fear that someone might find it weird. I am what I am, take it or leave it. Most people leave it, but I really love the ones who take it, and more than enough do to make me happy.

However, was I ever anxious about introducing them to my family... They matter no matter what, so I was super worried they would hate the dolls! My mom was opposed at first, and my brother thinks they're weird, but now my mom gets me doll things for Christmas, which I love! It was rough at first, but they understand me pretty well, so they adjusted, which I am grateful for.

 

I went to a High school out of "Mean Girls" for two years, and thankfully I never had to worry about my doll hobby back then, I didn't start collecting until my first year of college. However, I was never a "popular" kid, most people knew me, or knew of me, but we didn't hang out because of the cliques. I had my own group assembled out of misfits, new kids, and anyone else who needed somewhere to go. It wasn't that great- trust me. When I moved to where I live now, my high school was far less cliquey, but I was already an upperclassmen, so I didn't get to know as many people. I hung out with the drama kids mostly and we were sort of popular. I guess with my doll hobby, and my friends now, you might say we would be "popular" group if this was high school or a smaller college, as it is, we're pretty nebulous and all of my friends find bjds a little weird. I don't and won't hide it from any of them, but I don't talk about it much either. I may not have anyone to share my hobby with, but I like it just the way it is, and I don't think I need to have my current friends involved.

 

I've always been the crazy (insert soup can label here) type. I'm a free spirit, and my dress code shows it. I've always been the type of girl people want to get to know but are scared or afraid they won't be popular if they're friends with me.

It sucked through High School, but I'm all good. BJDs are a nice little venting hobby.

 

It's not a secret among my friends, persay, but more unspoken. Which is strange considering we're a nerdy bunch. I'll accept other peoples hobbies but they don't seem to want to understand mine, which is sad really. if my own nerdy friends(other than a few) can't accept it, god forbid a 'popular' kid found out. They already have enough on me with my Ouran t-shirt from a con and my Nekosawa canvas bag I got off Cafepress. Heck, it even seems like the worst thing in the world when you dress up for Halloween! That's what it's like here anyways.

 

So true. This goes for anything, really. People tend to take their cues from you, so if you're apologetic or self-deprecating, that will heavily influence their attitude and response.

 

i agree with Bronzephoenix im not reeli concerned of what people think of me, i never reeli have been...im kinda like hey im me its cool if you like me if not..i wont loose any sleep over it lol

in my classes at collage i got dubbed the girl with the doll cos i did fashion and life drawing so id bring them in to make stuff or draw them and i didnt reeli care what they said...as long as they didnt touch with their fake tan ridden hands *shudder*

 

I got into dolls as a child because my Grandmother collected ALL KINDS of antique dolls and my love began. My sister and I loved to play with dolls. When I was in high school and college my love was in boxes, but when I got married and had my own home, voila, they emerged again. I have been collecting and playing ever since and plan to keep on showcasing my Ginny's, Tonners and BJD in different settings.

 

Apparently I was a little weird from kindergarten, and was described by my psychiatrist as "eccentric" when I was seven years old, before I even knew what that meant. I never had real friends, just my sister, and she thought I was weird too! I started collecting dolls after I quit high school, and kind of settled on the idea that my dolls were my only friends. (Especially after a traumatic experience where I was kept from human contact for several weeks) When I got to college and started talking about my dolls to my classmates, for a while, a few of them actually thought I was talking about real people.

I don't have one human friend that doesn't think it's weird. My only female acquaintance refuses to look at them when she comes in my house. Slowly though, my closest friends are coming to terms with the fact that I think of these dolls as real people, and even say hello to them when they see them.

One of my friends always catches himself, like the other day, I called Megan emo, and he said, "Megan's not emo!......Whoa wait, THEY'RE FREAKIN DOLLS!!" He actually sounded offended for a second that I said that!

I think a lot of us here have the "fat nerd kid" story, and weren't really ever seen as popular. So us "weirdos" gravitate towards things that aren't stereotypically "normal". As what everyone says, to each their own, and do your thing. People who love you will be ok with whatever it is you do (well, unless its bad for you of course, ), even if they think it's weird!

 

I'm never concerned with being/remaining "popular". I'm an artist. Everyone always thinks I'm "weird" or "out there". So when I started collecting dolls most people didn't mention it. Considering some of my other hobbies BJDs seems kinda normal...
I've never tried to hide it, but I do have pity on the few that find them super creepy and will put them out of site when they come to visit.
I'm lucky and have lots of BJD friends, so I can share my hobby with them, and leave my non-BJD friends alone about the resin. lol

 

I think it is kinda sad to hear that everybody who is an artist ... was "weird" or "out there" O.O! For myself it was the same .. but i think that has something good... (I´m like: just look at yourself you are a kind girl .. not like those " cool" chicks) xDD I never wanted to be popular! just be yourself! my friends also think it´s weird that i just ordered my first doll xD but i don´t care and they still support me!

So all in all: If you choose your friends wisely and be yourself... And Ignore birdbrained People ... Everything is alright xD

 

I don't necessarily keep my dolls a secret but there are friends I just don't talk to them about dolls.
Locally I've got no one to share my doll hobby with in RL> so I spend alot of time online talking about dolls, going through forums, eCt.

Sometimes I talk to my husband about it but he always has to jokinly say "Stop being creepy with your dolls".

XD

 

i loved dolls for years before i was bought one by a friend of mine, who i paid back in layaway as i'd call it now haha and is now my fiance XD!. i was such a nervous doll owner, i was terrified of meets and meeting others, still dislike taking them out and around in view. so i always have them in a bag and try to pick somewhere secluded to take pictures if not indoors away from others. even at meets i started taking images, but its filtered down in to nothing i rarely take any of mine or other peoples dolls unless i feel really creative and something catches a spark of my attention to take a picture.

people never really questioned me on them, i was doing art at uni and life drawing/ project we where doing let us choose a topic, so naturally i took the chance of bringing my boy Ruka in to class. that was the first time in half a year more than two people talked to me in that class lol, they where interested some where weirded out entirely and some just laughed but most where really interested bless them. mind you i was always the weird arty one at school and college too.....>:/ hrm xD

even at meets i dislike letting them go far from me or from somebody i trust im rather protective i'd say lol xD some people ask 'whats my hobby' and i will talk a bit about them but not in detail most sorta go....'oh...right...okay..' to it and shut up xD haha

but saying all that i think even though im so wary of others around me doll owners im fine, its strangers and idiots i worry about, people who might cause trouble at a meet say in a public place, watching everybody.

 

I don't keep my dolls a secret, but I'd tell non doll people about it if it would fit into a conversation. Most of the time it doesn't. People mostly know me for my art skills tho. Still, I'd like to think that the people I know are not so shallow as to judge me negatively just because I own a few dolls.

 

I've never kept my dolls a secret, although my buddies think its rather odd when I talk about them as if they were real people. i.e. "I need to go get Wyr a new pair of shoes to go with her dress." It may have something to do with the fact that I'm of the male persuasion, who only seems to collect female dolls. I really could care less what anyone thinks about my doll collection, as it was my wife's idea for me to start collecting them, and its something we do together.

 

I never have given up on dolls, and was never teased about it at school, because frankly I don’t think anyone cared enough.

My school was a school that had a lot of emphasis on sports. I suck at any and all sports, except hockey and then only if they put me in a goal, because I have the natural tendency to undirectedly take a hit at any round object that comes speeding toward me. What I mainly hoped to get out of school was a nice place to read books, write stories and talk to others about the books I read and the stories I wrote. I was a Lisa Simpson. Just wasn’t very interested in the other students pursuits, and I don’t think they where very interested in me either.

Before you think im a social outcast; I did have a busload of other friends outside of school, most of my current friendships are 20-25-30 years old. o... and when it comes to the "fat nerd kid" story, i was never fat.

 

I'm always myself, I'm normally extremely popular, and I love dolls.

People have to accept those three things about me before I even consider being a friend. It's that simple. If you can't appreciate me for who I am with my hobbies and interests, then I have no need for you.

I've not met one person opposed to my dolls. My mom thinks they are "a little expensive, but lovely and I can see why you like them so much" and has even bought THEM stuff for Christmas... individually wrapped and the whatnot.

My friends reactions were "oh cool. I'm glad to see you finally got one." They were with me at a con when I saw my first one and they were immediately supportive of my wanting to own one. In fact, my friends STILL go with me to the tea parties though they have no interest in purchasing their own dolls.

Maybe it's just me? I wish no one had to hide their love of dolls or feel as if they need to be around a group of people that MIGHT judge them aversely..... I mean, we all have things in our lives MUCH more ridiculous than resin, yeah?

 

I guess I would say I am somewhat of a shy person and would only share to my closest of friends. And pretty much the closest friends I have pretty much know I am working my cute tush off on getting my first doll. I have been popular with my very social and accepting personality in high school and now. My high school friends don't know about my dolls yet except for one who has an "idea" I am wanting a doll . Thats about it ^_^. I hope things work out for you!

 

My close friends (who are my childhood friends) like my dolls.
At the first, they think it's weird for my age to play dollies.
But when I told them what kind of doll is BJD...
They changed their mind & support my love for BJD.
They even keep bugging me, why I never bring my dolls when hang out with them.
Hahaha... XD I don't care about popularity anyway...

 

Throughout my school years (and even now!), I've been ignored by the vast majority of my peers. Because I dress normally and don't stand out as a off beat girl, but I'm shy enough that it's difficult for me to make friends, people just seem to ignore me. There's been times where that has bothered me, but it mostly allowed me to just do whatever and no one cared. I feel like if I had been into BJDs in high school, and one of my peers found out, they wouldn't have been like "wow, that's weird," but rather "who is she again?"

Which is not to say I didn't have friends, but the friends I did have were very very chill, and we were such an odd, mishmashed group that the only way to get along was to let everyone do their own thing (movie buff, anime geek, school perfectionist, wrestler, and super-christian I think is the best way to get across how weird we were and are).

 

I've never been a popular one at school. I've always been "different", likely because of my autism and my interest in non-mainstream subjects. And I got picked on quite a lot.

But having a high school system with different levels in The Netherlands is a plus! You're in a class with teenagers around your IQ level and mostly similar social level. I did the highest level, which compares to British A-levels and graduating gives straight acces to any university. It's great to discuss science and politics with about all of your classmates. There were none who were disinterested or did not understand the subjects.
And on the other end, people who simply aren't suitable for books and science, get to learn a lot of practical stuff.

But even so, I still got picked on. And two lower high school-levels were housed in the same building. A lot of these kids have "lower" social backgrounds. Often these ones have no understanding for non-mainstream hobbies. Their lives are probably about as rich as drinking beer and watching Nascar, so to say.

And the worst thing bullies can't figure is that some people are content to be left alone. Such behaviour is undesired and as far as I'm concerned, the school should have had more cameras and a detention dungeon for these guys.

Heheh, since I started LARPing, I know a thing or two I could do with some of the bullies of those days.

These days I have way more friends than many of those losers have.