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Bjd Meets are kind of depressing, am I the only one?

Dec 5, 2016

    1. Hello <3
      Don't get me wrong, I love meets *-*.
      But seeing so many beautiful dolls makes me feel bet about mine, I always start to feel like my dolls are not pretty enough :/ .
      Am I the only person that feels like this (I'm sure I'm)?
      • x 2
    2. it's hard when you compare your work to others'! Maybe you could use other people's awesome dolls as inspiration on how to improve your own? try not to get to worried about it and focus on enjoying the hobby! I'm sure your dolls are just awesome, even though there will always be a more cool-looking doll somewhere, lol <3
      • x 7
    3. Thank you :) you are right, I'm really Inspired after a meet I always start to remove my dolls face ups and make new ones that look much better ^^
      • x 1
    4. I have seen people leave meets because they felt their dolls were not as good as other people's dolls. I don't really understand this, as this seems to be a self-inflicted feeling. No one was making fun of or singling anyone out, but the people left anyway, even when they were encouraged to stay. Doll collectors are looked at oddly in regular society anyway, there is no need to run away from the very people that should understand you.
      • x 24
    5. I only went to a doll meet once and it was many years ago. I was really awkward and depressed because of how socially anxious I was back then, especially with strangers. Maybe someday I'll go to another one, who knows?
      • x 5
    6. I started out with a Hujoo Freya and did not feel like anyone was judging me.
      I have had a lot of time to decide that other people's opinions are not a reason for me to have negative feelings about myself or my dolls. I think we all have brain weasels that want us to feel bad about ourselves, so they will whisper depressing things like "I'm not good enough", "People are laughing at my doll", "No one really likes me but they just won't say it to my face".
      Now if someone does make a snide or hurtful comment, then you are not imagining it. Otherwise, remember that others may be having similar feelings, even though it might not show.
      • x 5
    7. Think of it as a blessing instead of a curse. You can vicariously enjoy all those fabulous dolls without actually having to pay for them. ;)
      • x 11
    8. I can understand how you feel but just remember that the beauty of this hobby is that the looks of these dolls is so easily changeable and like @Alewife said, you can enjoy other people's dolls with out having to pay for them!
    9. I have personally never been to one, but I would think it would be sad for anyone to feel insecure about their dolls. I completely agree with @RedKitsune that we shouldn't feel insecure around the very people who probably understand us most. I would love to go to a convention and see dolls, even if I felt they were more beautiful than mine. I wouldn't feel that I would need to leave because of that, I would take it as inspiration.
    10. I felt a little awkward during my first meet, because I was a newbie and had no clue what to expect, except that all those people have been collecting for years now.

      Truth is, there always will be people who are “better“ than you at something.
      Some people have more time, money, experience or simply determination (some people aim always for the best, others don't even want that).

      The road to pretty dolls can be rocky.
      Just don't make it awkward for everyone (i.e. constantly tell them how nice their dolls are while at the same time only complain and moan about yours) and be humble.
      Like others said, see it as inspiration and chance to see other dolls :D
      And ignore that voice in your back.
      I know that's easily said (especially because eight years later I still think everything I produce is rubbish), but try to keep an open mind, be inspired and aim for a comfortable level.
      Be patient and practice a lot, things will turn out fine.

      Regarding meets: especially when you are new people will be helpful and friendly, even if their doll might look “better“, 'cause we all had to start once.
      As said, just don't make it awkward or play full victim card right from the start, that's just unpleasant for everyone involved.
      Be proud, but always humble and honest about your skills. There's nothing bad about starting out, but thinking you are the best thing since sliced bread and being rude to others is.
      • x 8
    11. When I first started going to meets, I was terrified because I had mostly "cheap" dolls with faceups I did myself that were less than flattering, as well as some cheap wigs and handmade clothing. I was so afraid that I'd be judged or excluded that I even asked ahead of time in the meet up thread if I'd be welcome considering my dolls weren't Volks or professionally made up, and the reply I got surprised me--someone told me that if anyone at the meet gave me a hard time about my dolls, then that person would not be welcome! That made me feel a lot better so I went.

      I was still very intimidated, and scared to death when someone dropped her LE Volks fullset SD girl right into my hands! But everyone was so kind and inviting, I felt right at home within a few meets as I started to get to know people. I got tips and tricks from people whose dolls I admired, and it helped me improve my own. I feel like my faceup and sewing skills have improved greatly in the six years I've been going to meets, and I owe it mostly to my group for teaching me things and encouraging me to keep trying. I have gone from too scared to attend to mod of our local FB group! We have people of all skill levels join, and it's very rewarding to see how much people improve over the years. Our group is pretty laid back and never insults anybody for being a beginner. If some one says they want to learn to do something better, there are usually several people willing to jump in and help, but no one flat out tells others that their dolls aren't good enough or that they need to fix them.

      So my advice is that if you enjoy meets and the people there, keep going. It's ok if your dolls aren't the most professional ones there. Ask others what faceup artists they send their dolls to, or if they do them themselves, then ask for some advice. If you're interested in learning sewing, sculpting, wig making--whatever!---ask your local members if any of them would be willing to host a workshop, or even meet one on one to teach you. It seems to me that most people enjoy talking about their own dolls and getting compliments. :)
      • x 6
    12. I've never been to a meet, I always chicken out. I'm super paranoid about people and whether they actually like me or are just too polite to say "go away"
      I suspect a lot of collector types are a bit like that though, with little brain trolls.
      Maybe it's that degree of outcast-ness that attracts us to the hobby, I don't know.

      But I wouldn't worry too much about your dollies not "standing up" to some random standards. Any group that has such stupid standards isn't a group worth being in.

      it's hard not to compare your work to others, but try to view it in isolation as well. Sometimes I get sad looking at beautiful faceups and wish my dolls could be that pretty, but then I go away for a bit, come back and look at my guys with fresh eyes and fall a little bit in love with them and their wonky faceups again heh. Because they're MINE and I made that and it's special damnit.
      it's the same with art. I draw something, I love it, then I hate it, then I love it again, then I can see only the flaws and no amoutn of being told i'm insane and it's fine will stop me seeing only the bad and wanting to scrap it and rage quit arghhh.

      But yeah...

      a level of neurotic there hahaha. All artist types have that. We're all just a wee bit nutty aren't we?
      • x 7
    13. The last thing I'd want to do is make someone feel bad or intimidated because they thought one of my dolls was "better" than theirs. This hobby isn't about perfection. It's about creating, learning, experimenting, doing. It's about creating something that's uniquely yours.
      • x 7
    14. One thing that I always remember is that we're all enjoying the same hobby. That's what brings us together. We attend meets and join forums to talk about dolls, share our joys and frustrations and inspirations as it relates to the hobby. I guess in my view I always thought about doll meets and forums as a neutral space. That said, there will be all kinds of collectors...those that craft everything by hand (even their own dolls), those that are starting more simply, or those that have funds to do and buy without limit. And no matter where someone is in their collection journey; at the end of the day the collector should feel personal fulfillment.
      • x 1
    15. I love doll meets for the very reason that we all collect something different and when we come together at a meet its an opportunity to see some of the dolls that I do not have but want and hope someday I might buy. Please never be embarrassed or ashamed of your doll that's your baby. You should love it. Meets are a time to talk to other doll collectors and hopefully they all make you feel welcome and wanted there.
      • x 1
    16. Meets? This is just looking at posted photos for me.... some part of that jealous anger at myself keeps me motivated though.
    17. I would never leave meet, like I said I love meets <3 Most of the time it's myself that tells me that my dolls are not good enough, I had only one situation where I showd (really good) face up artist the new face up of one of my dolls with the words ''I'm extremly proud of this one :) '' and she replyed ''It's not that bad'' ... But you are right, most of the time it's me that says my dolls are not good enough :/

      Thank you :) I had one situation that was really shocking for me... But it's really only me that tells me that my dolls are not good enough :/

      That's a great way to think about that! :D <3

      Thank you, you are right! I really love my dolls and that will never stop :) I never acctually tould anyone what I sometimes think about my dolls. I try to be self confidend, but what made me really sad was when a face up artist that I really respekt whas like ''That face up is not that bad'' not with a motivated voice... It soundet like she just didn't want to say that it is not good...
      And I'm more a person that likes it when somebody tells me that I could do something better, it helps me getting better :)

      Thank you! You're right! <3 The meets do help me a lot, I think I'm just that kind of person that's really good in telling herself that she is just not good. Even when I know that my dolls do look good ^^'

      I often have the same situation, but after all I still love my girls <3

      Your words are helping so much <3

      It's the same with me, but I still love my 2 girls <3 (soon 3 yay *-*)

      I always feel good on a meet, I just feel bad after a meet. It's a stupid inervoice that tells me I'm not good enough. You are right, my dolls are my babys and I sould not be ashamend of my own work <3
      #17 TonisMind, Dec 6, 2016
      Last edited by a moderator: Dec 13, 2020
      • x 1
    18. I've never gone to doll meets, but I do have a habit of comparing my work to others and getting bummed when I feel my work is inferior. I have a feeling this may extent to dolls as well, if I ever go to meets. But I still want to go to at least one.
    19. No matter what you do (not you, I mean, in general), there will always be someone that does it better. We're always proud of what we get, until we see someone that is one step forward, and I think we all should learn to be happy with what we have. And this is not only for dolls, but for whatever we do. As @starryeyed said, seeing "better" dolls than ours should be an inspiration, and not the other way around. Even the best artists see other people's work with admiration and try to improve (even the rest of us would think that it's impossible to do it better). It's not fair for ourselves to compare. I'm trying to learn how to sew, for example, and even if I see dolls with awesome hand made clothes, I shouldn't get upset, because their owners probably have more experience at sewing than me. At bjd meets there are people that are in the hobby for a very long time, and have built amazing chatacters, with impressive clothes and accessories. I've never been at any meet (yet) but I think I would try to get some tips from the most experienced owners, it's a very good way to learn new things.
      By the way, @TonisMind if your profile pic is a doll of yours, I have to say that she's so pretty! Her wig is very beautiful, I really like the colour, you don't need to compare it with someone else's to see your girl is lovely ;)
      • x 1
    20. Thank you! You are right <3 The meets do motivate me to make it better and do more on my dolls ^^
      Yes the doll in my profile pic is mine, thank you <3 :) I made the wig and the face up (she is acctually getting a new one right now ^.^