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Bonding with your dolls

Apr 20, 2012

    1. No worries at all! :D I hope you have fun photographing her and coming up with a cool character! <33
       
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    2. I've had trouble bonding with my Luts Ignis. I bought him to represent a physical manifestation of one of my characters, but after he arrived I felt like he was not actually suited for said character. Once I gave up on him representing that character and just accepted him as a pretty accessory doll with no particular character, actually found it a lot easier to bond with him.
       
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    3. The term 'bond' can mean different things for different people. Personally, I'm always aware that it is an inanimate object, but I develop a fondness for the character which has been created around the doll. This occurs through the process of experimenting with the face-up, eyes, wig, clothes, shoes, etc, and then posing and photographing them. For some people, this may generally match how they think of 'bonding,' and for others, it won't.

      And many times, that 'bond' I just described doesn't occur at all, regardless of what I do. I sold two dolls before coming to terms with the fact that it's okay for a doll to be just a doll.

      This hobby puts an emphasis on only keeping dolls you bond with, and many people end up selling one because they don't feel that elusive spark. Which is fine. But I feel like it's important for new members in particular to hear that if you aren't the type to bond with a doll, or any dolls, that's totally okay, too. It's up to you what you do with the doll. Don't feel as if you have to 'bond' (whatever your definition) in order to keep or enjoy it. As long as it makes you happy, that's more than enough.
       
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    4. I totally understand this feeling. A lot of my dolls don't tie in with each other's 'worlds', but I decided to love them as pretty characters in their own right. :3nodding:

      VERY well-said. I only just recently learned that my characters won't all 'fit' together and that's perfectly alright, like with my fairy girl in the original post. Thank you for voicing out that it's fine to just love your doll as a pretty thing rather than HAVING to be emotionally bonded to it. :)
       
    5. I think of bonding with a doll as getting from playing/crafting/interacting with it and getting from that what you wanted.

      I haven't had this happen with BJDs, but when I received a Phicen action figure as a gift, I remember feeling really disappointed/frustrated with the doll. Her body was terrible (sticky, and the seamlessness of the joints made it bulky. She was too cheaply made for the price, and her eyewells were too thick, making her eyes deep-set.

      I've since hybrided her with a Volks Neo Teens body, and now she can hold poses, although her head probably needs some fixing.

      The doll used to actively make me upset when I saw it, and playing with it was a chore. After hybriding, I still don't seek out to play with the doll, but I'm not as frustrated with it. I think that's sort of the process toward bonding with a doll.

      I hope that one day, as with my bjds, I can be excited by the prospect of working with her: I can have moments when I smile to myself, or feel a sort of bubbling excitement to see the doll and be proud of how the doll looks/poses.

      When I finished my Dollshe Arsene's open mouth and teeth, I could have probably just sat with the head for 15 minutes, just excited by how cute the teeth were. That's "bonding" with a doll (for me).
       
    6. [X]
       
      #186 Mori Carter, Mar 1, 2017
      Last edited: May 27, 2022
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    7. My first doll got her story when I was working at a very isolated Place. I would write down stories in my notebook and make scenarios. Sadly when she arrived I had no time for her, so I sold her shortly after.

      My second doll was a doll that I'd been looking at for about 3 years and eventhough I had no story for her I knew that I would love her when she arrived. I knew I wanted red hair and green eyes for her, and freckles! But it wasn't until I encountered my third and fourth doll that I knew what she would be. Doll #3 and #4 are vampires, and #2 became a demonhunter! And the vampire dolls have their separate story, in which they encounter my demon hunter doll at one point. And yesterday I got a new doll who is the little sister of the demon hunter, where the demon hunter skills have been genetic! And eventhough they don't look like any kind of warriors I know in my mind that they are. My vampires have red eyes to make them look a bit more evil, but right now the SD man is dressed in some japanese clothing and not his ordinary vampire set, haha! Now I only have a little orphan paperboy who isn't really in the storyline at all at the moment, but his time will come!

      So conclusion; it wasn't until I found the other dolls that my previous doll got his or her story together. They complete each other :)
       
    8. Hey!

      This afternoon, I received my boy's head from the face-up artist. He's as beautiful as I hoped he'd be. However, there's still a lack of connection.

      With my first doll, which I ended up selling in 2018, I experienced the same issue. The difference between the two of them is that my boy is a SD Migidoll Vampire Yujin whereas the other was a MSD Dreamingdoll Airi. I was much younger at the time, as well.

      I figured connecting with my boy would be easier since he is: 1.) My GRAIL 2.) actually custom, not a face-up from the factory 3.) I am taking more time with him (ie buying his head separate from his body). That doesn't seem to be the case, though.

      I am wondering that maybe the disconnect is coming from him being a complete floating head, no eyes or wig, even. I want to buy him a body and everything else, but at the same time, I want there to be a connection before I spend more than I already have.

      I really want to have a connection with him, but I'm not really sure how to forge one. Does anyone have any tips or want to share their own experience with connecting with their BJDs or lackthereof?

      I hope to receive some feedback on this! :)
       
    9. Floating heads are harder to bond with. Yujin can really be wonderful, I had one in Normal and one in white I kept the white resin one and sold the other to a WTB.
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      I hope you have fun with your new boy.
       
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    10. Thanks for the response and photos! I am looking at wigs and eyes now to see what clicks. I am really excited to get my hands on his body, but don't have experience with Dolk Station. So I'm kind of weary. Anyway, I really do love his sculpt and love the way your boys look!
       
    11. I bond with my dolls by planning them out, shopping for them, and finally putting them all together. I spend weeks planning out their faceup (I do my own amateur faceups, usually, though for smaller dolls commission them), then when their face is done I spend a week or two shopping around for eyes and wigs. After that's done I plan out, who are they fashionably? Which can take another week or two before setting out to find fashion that actually fits that mental picture...

      I wait till it all arrives before I put it on my doll, and gush about the finished product
       
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    12. Whenever I see the blank sculpts, I will know if I connect to the doll or not.

      If I buy the doll, then send him out for face-up, however, loosing connection with my doll, I know that because of the face-up.

      So, for me, the most important thing is: finding the face-up artisan that I love her/his style no matter what she/he will do for my doll, or you can say that I have to find an artisan who I trust him/her completely to the point that I will never change my mind after receiving the face-up.

      And, I never let the doll company does the face-up for my doll, never.

      All of my floating heads have the plans to go for the face-up already. I never let them be blank face for so long. It may be weird to say, but I think dolls have souls, and I don't want them feel bad without a face .
       
    13. I agree— floating heads are harder to bond with! I even had a complete doll (well, she had her faceup, eyes, and body) that i was thinking of selling... but i finally got her an outfit, which really helped, and then 2 wigs, and now im smitten! She lived in her box for a year, bald and naked, and now, i keep taking her out and looking and planning new outfits to sew, etc.

      I always tell people here: the bjd hobby is slow— saving up is a process, wait times can be months and months, and figuring out “who” a doll is can take many eye/wig/faceup iterations, which can take years! Give it some time, try some things— all the eyes and wigs you've got that fit, let him borrow a similar sized body (if you can) so he can try on different clothes, etc. I would also try looking on instagram for that specific doll, to see what other people have done with him; maybe looking at “finished” dolls will help rekindle your affection for the sculpt?

      Good luck!!
       
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    14. I had a boy as a floating head for a bit, and I connected with him a lot better once I got some eyes in him. You could always grab some cheaper eyes off etsy and try them out, then get nicer more expensive permanent ones later. It also helped that I had other dolls for him to "interact" with; maybe try putting him with other toys or display items you have around and take fun pictures with him?

      I've also had dolls where it took me a while to bond with them properly, and it was usually the result of me trying to force them to be a character that they weren't. Don't be too impatient and try to rush a connection, you're just going to get more stressed out and end up disliking him for it.
       
    15. That's my issue: wanting so bad for it to work - for the pieces to fall together. I am also worried about "doing it right" if that makes sense? Like, I feel like if I wait for it to hit me that it never will and that I need to put effort and time into it for it all to click?
       
    16. Do you have any character decided for him?
      I had no connection to my boy for over a year, before finally buckling down, fixating on him, naming him, and writing him a backstory. It was weirdly...hard work. But once the ball got rolling, he started to come to life. I'm super close to him now!
      Does your doll have any backstory or name?
       
    17. Yo! Short answer: nope. I've been searching for names the past few days with no luck. As far as back story goes: I had a general idea, then I keep second guessing myself. Can't seem to stick with anything
       
    18. Maybe my experience won't help you, because you already have your head sculpt custom painted by someone else, but it's worth a shot. When I got my first blank doll, I truly only got him because I wanted to hybridize his body with my fist BJD love, which I thought I wanted on a taller, more proportionate body (and I still do, but it won't be happening due to varying reasons). Up until then I had purchased three dolls with custom face ups from their respective companies, so I was a bit hesitant on repainting any, despite having gotten into BJD for their customizability. I got the blank doll mainly to steal its body, and not really because I was in-love with the head sculpt, although I did appreciate it's realistic aspects. I didn't feel like I wanted to keep the doll, after attempting to hybridize him with my favorite doll at the time and have it fail. I was looking to sell him right after, literally just a few days after I got him, because using his body wouldn't work for me. I had this feeling of emptiness because I never sold anything in my life, and I felt I was being a wasteful a-hole. I talked to my best friend, and she recommended painting him and keeping him around for a while until I was completely sure I wanted to get rid of him.

      I did as she suggested, I kept him and took the sales page down. I painted him many times, over and over, and then I started modifying him more to my liking. He's my favorite doll now, and even regret not having being able to get a second head sculpt to keep in pristine, unmodified condition because I love the sculpt so much now. I think modifying and repainting the dolls helps a great deal with the boding process, even if the doll is not complete. I own nine floating heads right now, and I love all of them. I wouldn't get rid of any, even if I were in a tight situation financially, I would probably sell other stuff first before selling any of my floating heads. So, I don't feel like having a doll vs a floating head helps with he boding more. At least personally, what has helped with the boding is being able to make the head sculpt my own. I have based most of my dolls on characters that don't belong to me, that are either cannon characters from video games or anime, or OCs that belong to my best friend. So, for me, painting them and modifying them myself is what has made me attached to each and everyone one of my dolls, even the ones that are just heads and will continue to be just heads because I'm super picky about bodies (and I always intended to have less then ten full dolls but don't mind owning an army of floating heads).

      Good luck finding attachment to your grail! I know it can feel extremely frustrating not feeling that bond to such an expensive toy, but maybe trying to put less emphasis on having that feeling now, will help make it less stressful, and then maybe you'll naturally start to feel attachment to it.. (:
       
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    19. Have you thought of maybe incorporating some loss of identity somehow into his character backstory? Maybe he's somebody who is dealing with a case of amnesia—whether through some traumatic means, tied into the type of sculpt he has (Vampire Yujin: did you decide to keep the vampire aspect for him? If so, maybe you could tie that somehow into a memory loss scenario), or through some kind of neurological anomaly that creates some kind of memory loss? Maybe trying to connect with your boy could come through seeing through his eyes in trying to discover who he is, who he was, and who he will be by putting yourself directly in his shoes.

      I also agree with what others have stated: experiment with different wigs, eyes, looks, etc. to see what clicks. Also, having him be complete with a body and everything else will probably help you connect with him more.

      I wish you luck in bonding with your boy:kitty2<3
       
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    20. Bonding with a doll is like falling in love. You can't force it and your feelings change and fluctuate. Also, wanting something can be a powerful motivating force, but once you get what you want, it may turn out not to be as fulfilling as you thought it would be. (A very wise Vulcan once said "Having is not so satisfying a thing as wanting.") I have looked with a longing eye on many a doll but elected in the end to stick with Chaeri because I have had experience in the past with wanting a particular doll to the point of distraction and then getting it....only for it to languish in a box or on a shelf because I felt no real connection with it. I fell in love with the way the doll looked, not with the doll itself (if that makes any sense). Chaeri, on the other hand, I got blank and naked, and made her my own, and the bond is unbreakably strong. It's not something you can control, and trying to force it will only make it more difficult. The best thing to do is to get that floating head a body, get a wig and outfit that appeals to you, and get to "know" your doll's character. Relax. It will come.
       
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