Bonding with your dolls

i opened the box and found the "letter to mommy. and the first thing that my boy said to me via letter is that the only one thing that he wants is to be with me.. that's all. i feel his feelings and attention and emotions. now he is more than just a doll for me. doll it's a thing. Soyala is my beloved small man.

 

It varies a bit for me. I got my first unassembled, So the first thing I did was string her. Mature tinies are not easy to string! She already had a name by that point. When I put the glass eyes I bought for her in a felt that she was really herself. Sewing clothes really helps connect with their characters. The one I have the most trouble sewing for is the one I'm the least attached to. Finding the right name also helps too. Yin really felt right for me when I decided that was her name, even though she doesn't resemble her namesake as closely as I thought she would. I could make her look more like the anime character she's based on with a different wig and eyes, but I like the ones she came with.

 

I don't. Because it is physically impossible to bond with an inanimate object who has no life or ability to feel emotion. I save the bonding thing for friends, family, and small, furry animals.

I take the "I bond with my dolls" as more of a tongue-in-cheek sort of deal. It isn't the dolls themselves, it's the personalities I develop for the dolls' characters that I "bond" to, as a writer who bonds to the characters they create for novels and such. Those characters are a part of me. They came from my mind and imagination. They're sort of like my imaginary children, in a sense. The dolls just give them a pretty shell to look at, that's all.

 

I bond with the characters my dolls are based off of, and the dolls themselves. I carry them around the house, make clothes for them, fiddle with their hair and eyes, talk to them (I also talk to my cats and lots of other inanimate objects, sooo), etc. They sit on my bed with me and watch stuff on my laptop, or chill there while I skype with people. The characters they're based on I've come to know through stories, and just overall expanding the character as a person. Development, woo!

 

I "play" with them. I undress them, redress them, cuddle with them, and adjust their poses when their on display. I also photograph them frequently, write the characters that they represent, and my dolls attend anime conventions and doll meets with me. I absolutely love to just a carry them around!

 

I never bonded with my first doll until recently. Sadly, now I am considering selling the poor guy.

 

I bond more with what the doll represents, the personality it has. I enjoy having a physical copy of things so a doll really helps that.

 

The reason I took so long before I ordered my first doll [other than the financial cost] was because I never found one that really spoke to me. I can look through hundreds of dolls for sale and not be interested in buying one because nothing really grabs my attention. The dolls on my wishlist are dolls I've looked at and immediately known what personality and clothing style I would give them. I'm not sure if that counts as bonding, because I agree they aren't living things, but I do think that there has to be some sort of spark there.

 

WOW I just love reading everyone's replies - My dolls kind of have the bare minimum of a character, no childhood back story or anything like that really, just something like "A quiet boy, looks mean - really just shy. Likes to play sports and read books" Just really basic! So when I get to see how other people create their characters and go really in-depth with them it's really interesting!

 

I bond with mine through private photo stories I make. They mostly go deeper into their characters than I normally go and it helps them seem closer to me.

 

I found this interesting. I don't think of 'bonding' as a relationship either, because obviously my dolls are dolls and aren't capable of reciprocating any emotions I may have toward them. My definition of 'bonding' is slightly different than this. I don't consider bonding to be "bonding with" a doll, but rather "bonding to" a doll. Bonding with them implies that they're capable of returning whatever feelings I have, which is obviously not the case. Bonding to them, however, suggests that at least I can form an emotional attachment to them. I do that. I am very emotionally attached to my dolls, some more so than others. I wouldn't go so far as to say I love any of them - I reserve that for living beings - but my dolls hold a great deal of sentimental value for me.

I think of degrees of bonding, as well. There are some dolls who are more important to me than others, some who are my favourites. I think it's fair to say I'm more bonded to my favourites than I am to the others. My favourites are the ones I tend to go to first, the ones who get the most attention.

As to how I bond, I think I've already formed some kind of emotional attachment to a particular doll as soon as I decide I want to buy it. Most of my dolls are avatars of my original characters, so I've spent time looking for a doll sculpt that suits the character, and I've already got an emotional attachment to the character when I start doing that, so it seems logical that I would have some initial attachment to the doll as well.

 

I am not sure what to think about bonding. I did a paper for graduate school on bonding and attachment between a baby and his mother. The closet thing I have done that could be considered bonding, is having my first BJD sleep in her sleeping bag like thing next to me. No I did not roll on her in my sleep. It was wonderful waking up and seeing her beautiful face as though everything in the world was okay.

 

I consider it bonding when a doll's life story just comes flooding into my head, flashbacks and flash forwards across their time line, their name and motivations and their connections to my other dolls. Just the part where they become 'storified', for lack of a better word. Sometimes part of this happens when I've seen the pictures of the doll and have ordered it, sometimes it only happens once the doll is here. Mostly, it happens when I'm doing their face-up and dressing them. Sometimes, it doesn't really happen, and those are the dolls I'm considering selling. Because while they are still pretty to look at and make me happy as works of art, I really prefer the ones that develop into a character in my mind.

 

When I bought mine they were already existing characters of mine, They had been around for years so when I bought the dolls I had bonded with what I already loved. I think the only way I wouldn't have been able to , was if once I got the doll I realized that they were completely wrong for the character and unless I could reassign the then it MAY be troublesome.

 

I do not know whether I really bonded with my dolls. My concept is rather simple and uncreative. The start was last year's Avengers movie. I wanted most of the characters, but I changed the story a bit. I want to make dioramas for them and put up little stories. Loki will look the same, but in my story he has changed his life. No Hulk (did not like him too much). So they portray what I make up in my mind (e.g. Tony and Pepper have a girl, now Tony does not only save the world, but is a loving father). Closest to bonding comes for the unability to sell a doll. I wanted to sell my Iplehouse Carina several times, but couldn't bring myself to even fill in the DoA sales form. I do not love my dolls as I love my daughter, that would be silly.

 

I think the way I bond is that instant I know I have to have them. It's just that feeling when you see a sculpt and it's like, "That's her." or him. Like you already feel that connection. That's how I felt with my Soom Topaz. I knew her name instantly even. Then recently when I got my first Zuzus, I was head over heals for my Poor Miller's Boy and the Cat. I thought she was just pretty in pictures but having her in person, she is just so precious and I could never let her go.

The only time I had a problem with bonding to a doll was my Soom Faery Legend Metato. I dropped his head the day I got him and one of the points on one ear chipped and I was so mad at myself. I felt guilty and was letting it get in the way of bonding with him. However since my roomy decided to get the new faery Mullu, my Metato is finally making that connection with me. I guess I just needed to be inspired a little and the fact the roomy is getting a girl his size helps. He finally has a name now even!

 

Exactly what I thought!

The Only one I think I kinda bonded with was Iplehouse Douglas, He is mean and moody but once he was on a body he just screamed at me he was a Russian ballet dancer! ( Weird!)
But that's the only time.

 

I think a lot of the "bonding" with a doll comes from the character I've created for it, and I have to say "bonding" with a doll sounds a tad odd to me. But for me it's more or less being attached to the character concept, which leads to not wanting to part with the physical object that gave the idea life.

Most of the time I don't decide on a doll's personality or character until I have it in my hands. It's just a lot easier for me to purchase a sculpt I really like and then let it create it's own character. Having a pre-conceived character idea for a doll really hasn't worked out for me so far.

 

I take pictures, redress and take pictures again

 

If they already look like a character I like, it's easier to bond with them and like their traits moreso if I hadn't before