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But ... she just GOT there! >__<

Sep 25, 2008

    1. Hopefully this is the right forum. Mods, please feel free to move if not.

      Okay, I've twice sold dolls to other members, who have turned around and immediately decided to put them back up for sale. The first time, the buyer told me mid-transaction that she'd changed her mind, but would buy her, wipe her faceup, and sell her to someone else who was interested. Okay, fine, I'd sold the doll with the specific purpose to replace her with an SD sized doll in the future, so I didn't really care at that time.

      This time, though, the doll was one I didn't really want to sell, but decided to for some financial purposes. I'd deliberately priced her a little high because I wanted to make sure she'd go to someone who really, really wanted her and would appreciate her. The buyer was making such a fuss over how "sweet" the doll was and how she "couldn't resist". I was sure the doll would be going somewhere good. I shipped her out on Saturday. She arrived this past on Monday. Today, I get a PM saying, "She's not for me so she's back up for sale."

      Uh ... what? But ... but she just got there! Aren't you even gonna try and give her a chance? Why'd you bother buying her in the first place? And as a gesture of thanks, I'd even thrown in an extra outfit and an extra fairly nice-quality wig for the doll. Now I'm regretting doing that; I'd liked that wig, darn it. If you're not even gonna keep the doll, then give the wig back! :|

      Now, I fully understand; it's her doll (and wig). She can do whatever the hell she wants with it, and it shouldn't make a difference to me one way or the other. But I can't help feeling ... I dunno. A little let down, I guess. Disappointed? Kinda stupid (like I've been duped or something; she seems to be in the actual business of selling dolls. I probably shoulda've seen it coming). And a little guilty that I'd sold this doll in the first place now.

      I feel probably similar to the way I'd feel if I sold a favorite pet and discovered them on the street or in the pound a month later. Maybe not quite to that extreme, but you know what I mean. I didn't need the extra money that badly. I feel like I should have hung onto her just a little bit longer and really made sure she'd go to a good home. Which is stupid, maybe, because she's just a doll and could care less what happens to her. But I'm a sentimental sort of person and, as I'd said, I'd been hesitant to sell her in the first place (the only reason I chose her was because she's an unlimited sculpt and I could rebuy her from Souldoll in the future). I'm just glad I didn't decide to sell my Puki, instead. I'd probably be spitting nails at this point. On the other hand, maybe she would have ended up with someone who actually wanted her in the first place. :doh

      Oh, yes. The buyer couldn't even be bothered to take her own pictures of the doll; she's using one of my pictures I'd used in my original sales thread. How's that for impersonal? :roll:

      Anyway. Has something like this ever happened to you? Have you ever felt the same way, or am I just totally overreacting (I probably am; I just woke up a few minutes ago and am not thinking with a fully functioning mind yet :sweat ).

      Thoughts?
       
    2. buy her back???


      refund her and ask her to send her back with everything you gave??? i dont see why she wouldnt be willing to if she doesnt want her after all
       
    3. I've never had it happen to me...I certainly don't think you're overreacting!
      Well..I had the same thing to my horse Tobi. But, cha can't change what's happened (though you can certainly feel bad about it).
      *hugs!* :sweat
       
    4. It happens. And yes, once the transaction is complete the new owner can do what they like with the doll.

      It's unfortunate that it's making you miserable. Have you asked that your photos not be used?

      Personally, I detach emotionally the moment the doll is packed. Better that way, for everyone.
       
    5. It must suck big-time. I guess its like seeing a doll you have sold getting a total make-over by the new owner and thinking - "he/she'd never wear that!!"
       
    6. It happens,

      Sometimes a doll arrives and is not what you expected (pics vs in your hand is a huge difference sometimes)
      Sometimes financial issues arrise quickly.

      They didn't throw the doll in the street, or the pound, they just put it back for sale where another person who wants the doll will be able to buy it, isn't that better than it sitting in a box forever with a owner who doesn't want it?
       
    7. well, i guess that's just the nature of business. you can't control the outcome of a business transaction once it is out of your hands. suppose the person that bought your doll truly loved it, but heavily modded it in some way that was horrifying to you?

      however, i agree with Octobercrow, ask if you can "reverse" the transaction. offer to refund the full payment in exchange for the doll back. that way you can decide if you really are ready to let the doll go.

      what is more important to you right now? if you really need money, then let it go.

      oh well, good luck in whatever you decide.
       
    8. Yes, I did actually reply and ask that she not use the picture. She replied that she deleted the thread (I didn't ask her to do THAT, just to take her own picture to use).

      And, really, I thought I'd emotionally detached myself when I was packaging the doll. It just sort of floored me when I got that PM. And I don't know why it bothered me, either. I've sold other dolls in the past and have never had a problem with whatever the owners decided to do with them. *shrugs* It's probably just because of the length of time. I mean, two days? That's a bit ... excessive. It makes me wonder if she hadn't planned on turning around and reselling from the very beginning, for her business, in which case I wish she'd have just outright TOLD me that instead of making me believe she'd really, really wanted her. I just feel like I've been had, or something. I dunno. I'll probably forget about it soon enough.

      As for buying her back, I admit I'd seriously considered it, but I've decided against it. I never buy back the dolls I sell, no matter how much I'd like to. It would make selling them in the first place a bit pointless. I'll use the money toward buying that SD to replace the other mini doll I'd recently sold. She's the one I really want back, since her character was far more developed.
       
    9. Wow! You get attached to the doll like she is your own daughter. It seems to me you want the best for her even after you traded her in for cash. Did you mention in the sales thread that you expected her to stay with the future owner for a long time? Was that part of the deal? If not, this was a business transaction, one of which you should be able to let go of your doll.

      My mother breeds dogs, and I was never allowed to keep any. For my entire childhood I saw my favorite puppies leave the house to the houses of children, who seemed to me (at the time, 20 years ago) to be ready to pluck the puppies eyes off.

      Now the pictures belong to YOU. I would claim them back. Let her take her own pictures and sell her doll for whoever at whichever price she wants. You ultimately got what you requested from the doll you sold.

      Sorry you are feeling weird about this. ~Gus
       
    10. I don't know... I mean, this has happened to me before on the "buying" end... I bought a doll that, in the pictures was everything I wanted... but when it arrived... *something* about it, which wasn't at all conveyed in the pics, just wasn't for me, and I knew it immediately. That *something* usually concerns posing capability, for me at least...

      so while I understand being upset that your doll is moving on again so quickly... I don't really understand seeing the buyer as the "bad guy"... I mean... they tried, right? Sometimes you just know, right away, when you finally get it in person, that the doll isn't at all for you.

      As for the wig and the outfit... never, never, never include anything with a doll that you aren't willing to see gone forever. Especially when it comes to wigs. People usually have their own plan for a doll, especially concerning hair, so I rarely include wigs unless they buyer specifically goes gaga over it.
       
    11. i can understand why you would think your detached until somehting like that happens, since we are already sory of on the subject of puppies ill use them as an example


      if you had a puppy and could no longer keep it you may think you are ok with selling it because you feel its going to a better home, but upon finding out the new owners dont want it either you feel those strings that where once attached begin to tug on your heart


      its understandable =] i hope your knew doll makes you feel better
       
    12. Ouch! ;_;
      *hugs Stormlight*

      I don't think it has happened to me, as Zagzagael said, the moment I'm sure I'm selling a doll is because I'm not emotionally attached to it at all anymore. That's why it's impossible for me to sell any of my current resin family members, they're all important to me ^^;;

      I feel sorry this happened, and that you feel that way, I would feel depressed too! But for better or worse, yes... Once a doll has changed owners, one can do whatever they want with their doll.

      Maybe the buyer had some sort of financial issues, the kind that shows up from out of nowhere (I myself have been the victim of quite a few of those ;_; ), and that's what made her decide to sell the doll. It's still kinda sad though ^^;;
       
    13. I know how you feel..sometimes you don't realize how attached you are to a doll until it goes. And I have bought dolls and opened the box and said...oh dear... Usually I find that it just takes time to adjust to a new doll, but not everyone is willing to do that. I like the suggestion of trying to buy the doll back, if you have the funds...or at least try to replace the doll as soon as you can.
       
    14. I can't bear to sell any of my dolls, because I know I'd miss them too much, even if they did just stay with the person that bought them from me.

      If it really bothers you, I'd consider buying her back. :)
       
    15. I've never had that happen to me--buying a doll and knowing immediately it isn't the right one. So I can't say I understand where you're (Wee Little Faerie is) coming from any more than others can understand where I'm coming from. I'm not saying that will never happen, it just hasn't happened yet.

      I generally don't turn around and sell a doll unless I really need to or if there's a better sculpt that comes along that fits the general character better. In the case of the last doll I'd sold, I'd had her for over two years and was really attached, at the same time, though, I thought an SD would fit her character better, so I decided to sell her. The exact same thing happened; the person who bought her decided to sell immediately, even before she got the doll. The difference is she'd told me from the very beginning what she was planning, so I wasn't caught off-guard. I could have canceled the transaction and refunded the buyer then and there but I didn't.

      So, I honestly don't understand my own reaction in regards to this particular doll, especially since I'd had her less than a year and hadn't developed her character as deeply as I had the other. It's probably the length of time and the abruptness of the change that's throwing me, I guess, especially given the buyer's enthusiasm during the initial purchase.

      In the meantime, the funds I got for this doll I am fully planning to use toward the SD I've been planning to replace the last doll I sold. She's one character I really want to bring back ASAP, so I am at least grateful that I'm able to get her back that much sooner. When I look at it that way, selling this doll isn't quite the mistake I was thinking it was. ^^;
       
    16. Aww. ;-; I think I would be just as upset as you are in this situation!

      I think that the reason it's so upsetting is because it's the assumption that the buyer was going to love and cherish this doll, and then the mental image was shattered so distressingly! When I am anticipating something and it doesn't happen they way I'd imagined it.. it's very dismaying. D:
       
    17. Personally, I don't think you're acting weird at all. Sure, for some people it's easy to detach easily from a doll when they know it's not working out and have no problem selling, but I think they just also need to understand that not everyone is like that. I'm pretty sure everyone at least understands that to alot of people these dolls are really precious so it might be harder for some than others to sell theres.

      I haven't been in your situation exactly Stormlight, but now that I'm selling a doll myself, which I've never done before and have some complicated emotional attachments to, I am trying my absolute best to avoid the exact type of things you're talking about. This doll I'm selling has been in the marketplace quite a few times and I feel bad that I'm doing the same thing, so I'm very very happy I have found someone to adopt him who I know will love him. <3

      Anyway, sort of lost where I was going with that, but try not to let it bother you too much. I definately know that is way easier said than done, but good luck :)
       
    18. Awww..

      I agree that two days isn't long enough to really decide that sort of thing. I admit that a first impression is a strong one, and it is possible to jump the gun so to speak...

      I know that I would need considerably longer to make up my mind. My first doll didn't work out and it took me months to really come to terms with that.
       
    19. That's such a shame. :/ I hope you can come to terms with it and move on.
       
    20. I'd be confused for a moment in that situation too. But once I have the money and they have the doll it's really not my business anymore. I've sold the doll, why can't they? I'd see it as me wanting to impose a double standard. Time frame shouldn't matter unless they were trying to flip it for more money.

      When I buy a doll that isn't right for me, I usually know the second I take it out of the box. Whatever I saw in the picture just didn't hold up to the reality. Usually it's a problem of scale and proportion to the rest of my dolls and I don't know that until I've seen the new doll with my group.