Buyer‘s regret

I think Mu Yanzi is so adorable! I’ve been tempted, but like you, didn’t know if her perpetual happiness would be annoying. It’s good to know you adore her.

 

This is how I am most of the time. I enjoy the variety more than the collecting. I buy a doll, enjoy it for awhile, then sell/trade it for something new and exciting. I get bored with the same thing for too long. I don't really have much guilt over selling dolls. I also swing wildly between "want it all" and "gotta get rid of clutter". It's a never ending cycle.

That being said, I do have a tendency to impulse buy sometimes, and I do sometimes regret it, especially if I didn't do proper research or ask questions first and the doll turns out to not be what I expected. I've tried to train myself to not be so erratic with purchases, to plan better and think ahead....but then my brain just decides "you gotta buy this thing NOW" and I lose control completely...those are the ones I regret.

 

I love that sculpt as well. I'm sure the perma-grin gets annoying sometimes but that's the point, isn't it? It's amusing.

 

I have regretted buying dolls I really love. This is an expensive hobby, and even though I know this, spending such a large chunk of change on something can really make me feel bad. I love all my dolls but Jesus the price tags will kill you. I mostly try to stay in a specific price range if I can help it. I also try to stick with stuff that's easiest for me to store and display, because my apartment is quite small so practicality is so important.

 

I've seen quite a few dolls over the past uhh... year. I'll know the doll is the one because it will stand out well above the rest of the dolls I've seen in my life. I'll stop scrolling and save every photo of it I can find. It doesn't happen with newer releases too much anymore, but many of the dolls I loved in the past and couldn't afford are still iconic and special to me. A lot of the newer ones are beautiful but just kinda blend together to me. I need to be enamored before hitting buy.

The price no longer matters to a certain extent now. I still refuse to pay scalper prices, but I will pay the company price happily to get the dolls I love. Nothing else matters but the doll being the doll you want the most. Never ever buy a doll because it's cheap or good enough. It needs to be the best.

 

There are a few specific instances of regret, where a doll and I didn't bond after meeting in person. Or I tried to settle for a different sculpt than the one I wanted. But after being in this hobby for fifteen years come September, there are two things I'm regretting overall. Parting with a few specific dolls, especially my Feeple Elf Soony. And buying so many dolls while I had good income, then dragging my feet on listing things I haven't used, because now the hobby is bloated with choice, the secondhand market is slow, and we have this stupid online income tax in the US. (Technically it was already there, but they lowered the limit from thousands of dollars to just $600. Very easy to get burned by big charges.) Reselling things used to be easy. Not so much anymore unless you have the latest, greatest thing everybody wants in the moment.

Not to mention the recasts. I've bought a lot of loose parts secondhand through DoA and the extended community over the years that didn't come with CoAs, because the makers either didn't produce them at the time, or it wasn't as big a deal that they'd gone with a different part of the doll because there weren't that many recasts out there, and certainly not of what I was buying. Or the seller was a good name in the community. RIP early/mid 2000s BJDs. Quite a few of those sculpts have since been recasted. Of course they sit and sit and sit secondhand now because people don't want to buy them without, and for good reason. I have tons more to list, but I'm afraid to. Between the PayPal fiasco and the CoAs, I have to ask for more trust than ever before... and that's incredibly frustrating both as a buyer and as a seller. It makes everything about the release / acquisition side of the hobby infinitely more stressful. Then pile on all the scams and waffly buyers and sellers... It adds a negative layer to everything one does transaction-wise, and there's no longer as good a chance that you'll be able to resell something once you've bought it, even if it's brand new.

...Which is actually why I'm trying to move 'out'. Not out of the hobby itself- not enjoying my elves- but the buying / selling aspect of constantly bringing in / sending out dolls. Finally slowing down. Maybe not stopping yet, but cutting back. I bought two dolls last year, three so far this year, all YoSD / Tiny that had been on my wishlist for ages.

The good thing about experience is figuring out what works and doesn't for you. And letting your tastes change. For a long time I felt locked into the need to shell characters- buy a doll just to be a certain OC, give it the right eyes / wig / wardrobe - but I was also torn by the desire to have dolls I liked. And I've realized that this is precisely what I need to let the hobby be. Buy the dolls for the dolls, but with careful consideration to all the cons, not just the pros. Like 'does it pose enough for your taste?' Or 'If it's a weird size, will you actually do anything with it once it's here?' 'How hard will it be to resell if you don't like it?' 'Is this a long-term commitment or a short-term inspiration?' 'Do you want this because it's unique, or because it's similar to something you already have, and you're drawn to those features?' I don't need to shell every character. I don't need five of a similar face when I can have one or two 'optimal' ones. But I do need to feel allowed to touch and photograph and play with my dolls so they're used and meaningful. And I need to make use of the dolls I have instead of always buying the next shiny thing. Otherwise it's just hording. And that's not something I want to allow any hobby to be.

Having these dolls is a privilege. Especially coming from a low-income household. I never thought when I was scraping together every penny from those odd jobs to buy my first Bobobie that I would own so many Sooms and Fairyland and artist sculpts. Or that my family would one day be mid-income. I couldn't have expected it. For many years I would sell off almost my entire collection to pay bills between jobs, then build it back up again in different ways. I have never owned anything so fancy or expensive as a ball-jointed doll.

 

I have issues with shopping online when I feel like not enough is going on in my life (eg. waiting to hear back on a job application) so I can Make Something Happen. In everyday, normal life, this isn't as much of a problem; I can distract myself by going out and doing things. During lockdown/quarantine, however...it became a problem. Not in terms of paying bills or anything, but of the seven dolls I bought in 2020-21 (four BJDs, three OT dolls), only one is still with me. Because I didn't really WANT them; I just wanted the feeling. I'm good at curtailing the impulse now, but it's not fully gone.

 

I think impulse buys are easy to regret especially if they end up having issues you did not research or expect, but what about something that you went through a lot of thinking about? I mean barring situations like a grail doll coming with major issues or postal horror stories, did anyone spend a lot of time thinking about, researching and and coveting something, until it's finally home and it's just meh?

 

This was my Iplehouse vampire Chris. I saved and saved, planned and waited, ordered and waited again. He was gorgeous. Perfect. Transcendent!.... and I hated the YID body. The shoulders were too wide for me, he was SO HEAVY for his size, the way the legs clicked when I moved them, how he didn't match the overall look or sizing of all my other dolls...

His face could launch a thousand ships, and still does in my heart, but the body broke my enjoyment of him to the point I had to sell. It continues to make me wish Iplehouse only sold heads. I would get a vampire Chris head in a hot second if that were true.

 

If a doll is an impulse buy I almost always end up having to sell them.
I found that the best way for me to know If i truly love a doll is to let them sit in my mind for a while and see how many times I go back to them. Does it fit in my collection? Can I visualize a character for them? If it's outside of those things it's probably not gonna work out for me..

 

I only bought 1 doll head I regretted but I was able to trade it for another head here in the marketplace ,so I was very happy after that

 

YES. Multiple times. But Leekworld Ariana is still my record-holder for 'fastest from-received-to-marketplace' at an astonishing pace of two days. I'd fallen in love with her at a meetup, ordered my own, waited for what felt like forever, then immediately held her in person and... eeeuuugh. Not for me. She's a unique doll, and I'm sad that you don't see more of Leekeworld's sculpts around much anymore, but I'm much happier with my Mikhaila.

Honestly, this has been my relationship with the shelling OCs approach. Researching, finding the best head and the perfect body, hunting, saving, finally catching... then disappointment. My OCs aren't that unique, but they're very 'real' in my mind, and not only should their dolls look like them, they should also be fun. Either I am never happy with how close a doll can get... or the doll looks more or less perfect, but they're not easy to pose and play with. Lots of tall, bulky dolls because they tend to be mature sculpts that only fit a certain neck / shoulder ratio. Lots of fiddly smaller dolls, because they need to be this body type or that height, etc. etc. Oh look, this one's head is way out of scale with the others because he's a fashion MSD...

I was always the 'Anything goes! My collection has no primary aesthetic!' collector, but in the end I've discovered that isn't entirely true. Proportions do have to make some sense or I go crazy. Resin anime dolls and I don't get along- I always end up neglecting them. Yet I'm very happy with my vinyls. The older I get, the more I realize that I would like more dolls from my early years in the hobby rather than the latest, greatest thing. I had already wanted them before, but with a collection the size of mine, it was telling when the only dolls I felt compelled to go back to again and again were the Delfs and the Teenie Gems, while my newer dolls sat neglected. If I had a time machine and could be self-indulgent, I would give my past self money to be able to afford some of the things I wanted but couldn't have, encourage trying layaway, and advise to skip some purchases in favor of different ones.

Everyone is different, but it sounds like you and I are similar. And I will tell you: even though I have a long way to go in this latest reinvention of my collection, I am already enjoying it more than I have in years now that I've stopped letting the OCs be my guide to buying dolls. It also has helped me cut down my wishlist to a third of what it was, because now I know exactly what I want. And I want it for what it is, not what I hope it might work for. I still have some dolls and floating heads who represent OCs, but they are sculpts I like enough on their own to keep. The dolls can definitely tell you what they want to be... but it's easier to listen when you don't have too many of them talking at once. One or three projects at a time. (Or lots of little projects for dolls you already have)

It truly has, for better and worse simultaneously. Having lots of choice is both a pro and a con, but it feels like there was a sweet spot, before it really took off on Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter, where it was growing and new artists and companies were popping up all the time, and there was lots of choice... but not endless choice. Like, you only had to worry about a certain amount of events competing for your money three or four times a year, and companies tended to try and not overlap as much. There were fewer artist preorders (And they didn't all cost $600- $1000+ a pop!), Dollshes and Sooms were at least half of what they cost now, you could commission a company like DIM or Nobility Doll to make you a custom sculpt if you ordered enough units...

Oh, and there were less recasts. Any sculpt that got recasted was a huge splash of news because it wasn't common. Recasts were easier to spot because they were noticeably poorer quality, and only limited to a few specific dolls. Also they weren't over-saturating Ebay. Ebay used to be a pretty reliable place to score good deals on legit dolls.

On the other hand, there were plenty of limitations. Well-engineered bodies were notable- sometimes companies who made them flew under the radar in favor of better-established names like Volks and Soom. Very few companies offered tan or fantasy colours. If you wanted your sculpt to be a darker-toned ethnicity, you either had to hope they'd offer that colour as an event, or settle for options at the opposite ends of the pricing spectrum. Sometimes companies would offer custom colours if you asked politely, but they never advertised this, so every now and then you'll see an old one-off doll. Mature / realistic sculpts weren't as common either, and also tended to be associated with high price tags. Having these things be more accessible to everyone is a big step up from 'Either buy a Bobobie or save for a Soom/Iplehouse'.

Glad to hear you're having fun learning! Getting your feet wet. There's a lot of information to take in- I used to spend hours here just studying the photo galleries for inspiration. I hope you never lose that spark of joy; the urge to explore and play. It's what makes the hobby worthwhile.

 

@Loptr I feel I would end up regretting a lot if I shelled characters. The end result wouldn't quite match the idea no matter what... I'd need fantasy traits as well which makes things more difficult. Picking a doll and allowing it to become its own character organically feels more natural to me.

(small OT digression)

Spoiler

I'm new and the recast issue was something I was really sad to learn about in this hobby... I come from illustration and I feel the same as I did with AI when it became all the rage in the field. There's the exact same "screw the artists" attitude and the whole idea that if you don't approve of stealing you're entitled or elitist. And just like AI the talking heads on YT etc. have switched to endorsing it in full to validate the consumers.
One of the reasons I wanted to join DOA is the hardline stance on counterfeits, other communities have a no recasts policy but it's all a pretense and not enforced at all.

 

I don't think I can call it a buyer's regret - but my first doll, a DoD Shall, isn't really of my taste now. She's beautiful, but I believe today I am looking for something different. I will most likely redress and revamp her into something more of my taste.

 

I have a regret for any spare fantasy parts and floating heads they really are of no use and never either displayed or handled as for the dolls truth is I want to reduce their numbers but full on regret I don't know back in the day when I bought them they had their purpose and I had time and space , no family obligations so it was fine , now circumstances are different but this doesn't change the fact that back then they were a lovely collection just not that practical anymore in those same numbers.