Buying Dolls vs Buying a Car

You are not obligated to take them, and of course it isn't your job to fix somebody (not that a ride to a meetup fixes anyone, really). However, I don't think you are in the position to decide whether or not somebody really has a problem or whether or not they are likely to even be able to get disability and neither has anything to do with giving rides. I admit, I don't understand you. Is it a big hassle for you to give somebody a ride? Are people constantly badgering you for them? Does is matter that much why someone doesn't want to drive there themselves?

I don't know if the 'you' here is general or not, but I do own my own car that I bought myself, and pay for the upkeep on myself, which is why I fully understand why other people may choose to not do so. Unfortunately, the area I live in doesn't have great public transportation, so I'm rather stuck driving everywhere.

If it's a matter of feeling like someone is taking advantage of you in a financial sense, you can always ask that they help pay for the gas -- that's completely reasonable. Other than that, again, what is the big deal about somebody needing a ride? If you can't buy a doll, because of your car, then that's your choice and has nothing to do with somebody else. Whether or not somebody needs a ride because they don't want to pay for a car really has no bearing on your financial situation at all. I can't see what is so offensive about not wanting to own a fume spewing expensive piece of metal. Between all the traffic tie ups and smog, if fewer people drove we'd probably be better off -- riding together saves resources, cuts down the number of cars on the road, and decreases the amount of exhaust fumes.

 

I don't think that anyone feels entitled to getting lifts, but whatever.

So, basically, you won't give a lift to the people who could actually use one. There are millions of reasons for being over 18 and not having a driving license. I've failed my driving test a dozen times, not for want of trying. Does that make me unworthy to go to doll meets? (I was eventually told that due to a combination of medical troubles, I'd never be able to drive, so there's my bias in this "debate".)

So, disabled people aren't allowed to travel, in your world? Again, it's not your responsibility[/I to get them to meetups, but if you can help, refusing to do so solely because they're disabled is, frankly, a bit ableist.

Because everyone knows it's easiest to beat depression when you're sitting alone in the house, frustrated that you can't go out because of arbitrary rules. Do you want to apply your lift-giving standard to everyone, or is this just yours? I ask, because this almost suggests that you're offended by the mere presence of the mentally ill at meetups. Which, again, is horribly ableist.

You've never been unemployed, have you? An awful lot of job hunting (at least in the UK) goes as follows; Wake up on the (weekday) morning, fire off a batch of emails to various companies, keep your mobile in your pocket for them to call back. It's not like you can sit by the phone doing rosaries to the god of employment to get them to call back faster. This just sounds like a bit of right-wing scaremongering, in which you're painting the unemployed as workshy and suspect.

See above reasoning, it's no less dickish if you're referring to someone over 25.

This is actually the only fair point in your argument. What if it's a disabled person who's not too far out of your way? Or an unemployed person? Or are they just not worthy of sitting in your able-employed-licensed car?

You'll only help people who might be able to help you in future? How mercenary.

All right, actually, that bit is fair too. But again; Is this just able-bodied, employed, non MI-having people in possession of a driving license, or if those undesirable degenerates drag their way to your door in supplication will you give them a lift too? Heaven forfend that they find out where you live and drag the property value down!

There are reasons to not have a car other than lack of funding. Plenty of people can't drive. Plenty of people don't have anywhere to park one, especially people who live in apartments. Plenty of people are just terrified of getting behind the wheel. Plenty of people find it prohibitively difficult to drive (Got no bodily coordination? No depth perception? Any kind of musculoskeletal trouble? You'll find it pretty hard driving) not to mention those aforementioned inconvenient disabled people.

...This is neither here nor there. If I hosted a meet in the middle of nowhere, where I live, nobody would go to it. Meets are in big cities and town centres for a reason. And if you really expect someone to go through the hassle and financial outlay of renting a car, when you live nearby and could have given them a lift, well, I'm really glad you don't live near me. Thankfully, whenever I've needed a lift anywhere, whether for dolls or any other hobby, a bit of petrol money or the offer of a free meal has always been enough to get me one. And, of course, public transport and taxis are great, as long as you're not carrying too many bags (Ever tried to take a bassoon on the bus?)

TL;DR - I hope that if you're ever in a position of vulnerability, you get shown more compassion than you're advocating showing.

 

'nthing that this is VERY offensive. I HAVE been diagnosed. I HAVE tried for disability cuz frankly I cannot work in a normal environment and CANNOT drive. So... Just because of that, I am making an excuse to bum rides off people to a meetup?! C'mon. That is severely petty. Severely offensive and you really have NO right to judge people that harshly.

Do you even take into consideration that meetups can be some form of therapy??

 

And that is fine if you don't want to give them a ride and you just leave it at that. No one will be angry with you if you say no to giving them a ride. If anything, they might be a bit peeved but they won't go call you out in public as being the big mean driver refuser person. Believe me. What is angering is the tone this post is written in. It's full of assumptions about other people and I find it comes off as a bit invalidating toward people who do have severe depression and anxiety issues but can't get on disability for whatever reason. It isn't easy getting on disability. And quite frankly, it isn't your business if someone is on disability or not. :/

 

Well, thanks for helping me keep my priorities in order.

Don't worry. I have a feeling that you won't have to be passing out your car pooling questionnaire very often in the future.