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Can They, Have They, Do They ? (BJD's through hard times)

May 7, 2010

    1. I have a question for all who are willing to answer it.
      Can BJD's help you it a really rough point in life ?
      Have they helped you through I rough point in life ?
      Do they really help when your going through a lot ?

      I really would like to know if anyone has felt like their doll/dolls have been able to help them.
      May it just be by distraction, or comfort.
      I'm not saying they can replace the people in your life or the support they give.
      But Can you find them to be comforting when your feeling down ?

      - The reason I'm posting this thread is because I'm going through a really. . .Really Really bad time right now. And I need to know if maybe I can find some form of solace in a BJD. I don't think they are alive and real and such, But I need something that I can just have all the time, something to take my mind off my troubles. I don't own a BJD yet, so that's why I want to know from someone who does. Thank in advance you guys, DOA means a lot to me. And your all so kind and sweet to me. :aheartbea
      (^ Sorry about the odd rant. ^)

      I don't mean this in a way that I'm avoiding my problems by getting into this hobby.
      And also I've loved BJD's for a long time. So weather or not life got tough, I'd still have wanted one or two or seven or nine. . .
    2. You know, this isn't my case since I discovered BJD's in a particularly easy and comfortable time in my own life, but I definitely know that hobbies can be a fulfilling and worthwhile distraction while going through rough times. During the worst lows in my life I actively sought out hobbies that would get me doing something that would give me a certain kind of fulfillment and social activity and wound up picking up World of Warcraft. It did wonders for me. In many ways, it probably saved my life.

      I imagine that BJD's can fulfill a similar "gap" in your life while going through rough times, especially if it becomes a creative outlet. The pride of your first faceup, the joy of your first box opening...all these things can DEFINITELY contribute to building self-esteem, getting you involved in social circles that exist away from your troubles, and ultimately getting your attention focused on something constructive.

      Heck, I say go for it. :)
    3. Thank you so much Anneke.
      I appreciate your point of view a lot.
    4. I find, when I'm having a bad day, that if I just sit and look at my dolls, I get a sense of peace. They demand nothing, and never argue or give me a hard time. Playing with them, just touching them, always helps. Their innocent faces do a lot to boost me when I'm down.
    5. My dollies have deffinitly helped me through tons of things!
      I personaly belive that they do have souls and such though, so it may not be the same for you...
      But you know, when you feel like you're failing the world and look at a smiling little resin face... it feels like you've done something right in a way... ^^... maybe it's just a little bit of hope to keeping going, but gosh, it helps me like crazy...

      Everyone's relief and happiness is different, but if you think it'll help you, then by all means, do! <3
    6. When I'm having a rough time I actually typically completely ignore my dolls. I tend to be busy with other things, and my dolls aren't comforting in particular, they're just one of my hobbies.
    7. <- Thank you Scottiedoll.

      <- Even though we have a different point of view when it comes to doll, I think the level of importance is similar.
      Things don't have to be alive for me to love them, so I think it may still help.
      Thank you Yako.

      <-I can understand that.
      It's something you do when you want to for fun, not particularly for comfort.
      Thank you Chibaraki.
    8. My dolls have definitely made me feel calmer when I've been upset and distracted me from hurtful things when I've been down, a BJD doesn't judge, doesn't criticise, doesn't whinge or lose interest. You can confide anything to your doll and you know the secret will never be told...but at the same time, they're no substitute for the warmth of a human (or pet :)) companion to confide in and hug. Although I know having my dolls to hold has been a big comfort, having my good friends around me during the bad times has been more helpful, one can still feel alone even when one is in the company of a BJD :)

      I don't think it's a good idea to get a doll specifically because other people have found them comforting, it all depends very much on what you want your eventual doll to be and different people have different opinions and expectations on what that should be. If you are going to get a doll anyway, carry on saving and get your doll because the process of waiting, saving and looking forward to your doll's arrival will also be enough of a distraction to lift you from the bad times. If you weren't planning on getting a doll and were just going to get one because you expect it to make you feel happier, it may not turn out as you expected and could make you feel even more disappointed.
    9. They are actually pretty helpful right now! I hadn't really thought about it until I read this and started wondering.

      Because of a series of reasons I'll have to move back home to my mother this summer. Unfortunately I hate, passionately hate, that house, that place and those people (wah kri moar). Feeling that I was trapped between a rock and a hard place with little to no choice I suddenly remembered that I had stored my dolls at her place. Now, I am really looking forward getting back so I can start touching up my WIPs and work with my dolls. Going from hopeless to excited really helped. Really helped. I hope it will keep it up, and I will get enough creativity and energy from it to stabilize my life again ^^

      In your case however, I have no clue whether it will help the slightest. It depends entierly what it is you're going through. If it's depression, then yes, I think they can help. A creative outlet is wonderful, and having the sense to take up a hobby to distract yourself is a very good idea. It shows that you're resourceful despite it all, and that whatever this is, you will get through it ^^ I wish you the best of luck.
    10. <- Yes, of course ! I love BJD's even if they aren't going to be able to help me balance my emotions.
      I love them because they are Beauty in a very creative form. But thank you for your viewpoint Jescissa.
      Your absolutely right, and it's very appropriate advice.

      <- Thank you so much Li chan. I appreciated your comment more then you know.
      Thank you for being so sweet, and I hope I can be as *cough*stable*cough* as you.
    11. My dolls have definitely helped me in hard times...

      I think any hobby can help one in bad times...not just BJDs...

      I do agree with Jessica though. You shouldn't base your choice on getting a doll souly because other people have found them comforting and helpful...everyone is different...
    12. I guess you could heavily focus on your dolls to distract yourself from whatever might be going wrong, but that just seems unhealthy to me. I think you should deal with your problems rather than trying to forget about them, because even if you're distracted the problem is still there and probably still hurting you even if you ignore it. You need to find a real person to talk to, someone that actually loves and cares for you and can help you through your hard times. As realistic as bjds are, they're just plastic dolls. I think if you buy one hoping to get some comfort out of it, you'll probably end up disappointed. Even as far as a distraction, bjds don't offer much, it's not like a book or a video game where you can get lost for hours, days, or weeks. A doll is pretty but it just sits there. Faceups/sewing/photography take up a surprisingly small chunk of your day and then you're back where you started but now you have an expensive toy that may or may not be tainted with grief. This is a great hobby, but if you get into it for the wrong reasons, you'll probably end up leaving it, especially if it carries an association of a very hard time in your life.

      That's just my opinion, obviously everyone is free to do what they think is best for them, and you know yourself much better than any of us do.
    13. I've been through a number of rough times since I've joined this hobby, some more drawn out experiences and some a single night where the world was just falling apart and I'd have to say that for the most part, no, my dolls become largely ignored. Occasionally if I'm feeling particularly lonely I may use one as a distracton to play around with or just hold to have something for my hands to do, but that's largely the extent of it.

      Ironically however, they have helped me out through one particularly difficult time in my life and it was actually how I got into the hobby in the first place. I was losing the friendship of someone I had known for years and was very close to and this in itself was absolutely heartbreaking from me. Added on that I was graduating from high school and getting ready to move away from home which absoluely terrified me as I'd really no idea how to even begin. It was at this time I had just discovered these dolls and I do think as a way to cope, I threw myself into them. Where my real life was uncertain and shaking around me, learning about these dolls was a solid and stable thing, it's not like from one day to the next they were just going to change. I think using them in that way really kept me focused on something because it was brand new to me. Since then however I've never been able to utilize them in such a way again.
    14. I went through a very difficult time earlier this year- it's quite personal, so I won't go into detail, but in coping with something like the death of a dearly loved one, while it was nice to have my dolls there, they did very little to comfort me. I had to deal with my grief myself, and while looking at a pretty doll is always nice, I barely looked at mine during that time. Honestly, in my opinion, that is a time when dolls become almost insignificant in the bigger question of actual life. When you're talking about real human issues like grief and loss, dolls become almost completely inane. I view mine as frivolous, fun, beautiful items and wonderful outlets for my creativity- but when I'm hurting inside like that something so shallow just seems utterly devoid the sort of consolation I need.
    15. With depression and social anxiety and generally being batshit insane, I am better off with my dolls than without. I'm completely alone right now and I find the absence of any opinion is much more helpful than what my psychiatrist and mom have to say. Just having something to focus my thoughts on and hug (they may be hard, but they're not actually so bad) makes my daily life at least a little bit better. I don't think I'm using them to "distract myself" from anything, rather than using them as a vessel to help me solve my problems. Just getting out of bed is an accomplishment for me.

      So if that is what you need, then yes, they're good for it.
    16. Yes, I do find that they help if I'm feeling really stressed out. They give me a welcome break and something positive to look forward to. Right now I have a number of things going on that are causing me some anxiety (to put it mildly), and it's nice to have something positive to do that can give me a chance to let go of some of the anxiety. Hobbies in general are good stress relievers, which is one of the reasons I feel it's actually healthy to have hobbies--now whether or not this is the right one for you and getting a doll will give you what you need, well, you're going to be the only person that can answer that as we're all different.
    17. My dolls are very comforting to me. It's one of the reasons I always have one with me because even when I am alone, I always will have my little resin army of moral support. <3
    18. Some of the hardest parts of my life were long over when I discovered this hobby. I'm in a fairly settled place now. However I am bi-polar and have recently been going through a rough patch with this. I find that when I hit extremes having something to focus on is comforting. When I am manic I get extreme anxiety. I feel completely disconnected with the world around me and afraid so I get clingy. My husband can't be with me all of the time and even if he could sometimes I need something to cling too that doesn't actually try to console me. Being consoled just makes me feel crazier. I know I'm sick and it isn't normal, I would change it if I could. Holding one of my dolls helps. I don't think it is the doll itself, though just clinging to anything helps, however I am very invested in the characters I have put on the dolls. The act of touching anything is nice, but the act of holding "Aric" has a whole different level of comfort for me. On the flip side when I am depressed and feeling numb and stuck in my head the silence of interacting with my dolls and the worlds in my head is soothing. The dolls don't talk back, which is nice, they can hear whatever I have to say without judging me, and they are physically part of this world. Forcing myself to do normal things like changing their clothes and cleaning them gets me moving and doing something other than staring at a wall all day. I suppose it could be argued that focusing on inanimate objects and the world that I have created for them inside my head is not the best way to get back out of my head, but it is a healthier obsession than some I have had in the past. I can work on my characters' stories with my little muses sitting around and then share those stories with my husband allowing me to reconnect with a real person. It gives him a little insight on what is going on in my head too. I feel like just having a hobby in general is a good coping mechanism and for me the dolls have another level of healing.
    19. When I was trying to get over an ex-boyfriend I placed Marcolf (my angell studio Antoine) beside me in bed and he stayed there for weeks. He was the last thing I saw before sleeping and the first thing I saw when I woke up. You know what? Your doll will never wake up one day and tell you it doesn't love you. After awhile my ex-boyfriend started contacting me again asking me how I was and I just ignored him. :D I've since been sleeping alone in my bed, happily. This is just one of the ways that my dolls have helped me cope.
    20. I think anything you enjoy can help you through rougher periods in your life.

      My doll specifically hasn't helped me get through a tough time, but all my hobbies make those periods easier to bear.