Can you love them all?

When I first started out in the hobby, my then-boyfriend/now-husband had set our BJD family goal of only enough to fit on a BJD couch and some standing nearby (so about 3-7) as our financial situation wasn't that great to begin with and we didn't have a permanent residence yet. It's been a couple decades now and we blasted past that number. We are more of collectors though so we don't customize our dolls or write fan fiction (okay, I did for like a hot minute when I was young) so I don't feel the need to always play with them or do things with them.

Oh dear. I fear I've been called out as a bad Dolly Mommy. It was so much easier to love and take care of them when we had like 2-4. They were like the "first born" children where they got their own set of clothing and shoes and wigs and accessories and toys and were taken out much and had dolly tea parties and birthday parties where we invited other BJD friends to bring their dolls to be our dolls' friends. Once it got beyond that, I would try to rotate who would sit next to me in the living room watching tv or in the office while I was on the computer. And usually the newer ones just stayed in their original default outfits in the library or craft room, "borrowed" the older one's clothing and wigs, or would get just one new outfit (rarely happens). Now that I've reached I think around 37ish...yeah, it's harder. They are more on display than anything else with only "the favorites" that get taken out to do stuff like conventions or just again living room and office hang out.

Do I treasure all of them? Yes. If we had an evacuation warning due to the fires, we would load the car with the dolls first. Hahahaha. I at least have a go bag and a checklist of what to bring and the dollies are definitely on there. Would I prioritize certain dolls over others if I had less than a half 15 minute warning? Yes, but I would try very hard to bring all of them with me.

I think also it's harder once you hit certain milestones in life. Like, my BJD friends that have kids have a harder time spending time with their dollies as their kids are still too young to understand not to roughly handle their BJDs. That, and these same friends have to make decisions that are more real family related than BJD family related and usually real family wins over BJDs. I have young nieces too that are the same ages and they know enough not to touch Auntie and Uncle's collection but if left to their own devices for sure Crayola markers and crayons would be decorating my dollies.

Having chronic pain also has dramatically changed how I interact with my dolls. I no longer can physically hold them or change them for prolonged periods of time due to the insane pain so I just display them and it gives me joy. It also relates to how I interact with my nieces; just because I cannot hug my real life nieces sometimes due to my pain doesn't mean I don't love them. It just means Auntie has to show love differently until the pain gets better.

 

I have about ... idk, 5 or 6 dolls. I don't really take them out and play with them anymore. I feel too bonded with them to sell them, but I'm not as invested as I used to be. I love them all equally. I feel bad for not really feeling motivated to do anything with them but also too attached to sell them. It's a real conundrum.

 

This is a really good question and I agree that at some point it’s impossible to truly love all your dolls the same. I already have dolls that are just sitting in a drawer or box and I almost never think about them. I’ve started to have favorites after getting into this hobby for 2 years now. And when I shop for clothes or things for the dolls, it’s clear that I’m only shopping for specific ones just out of habit.

Currently, I have an active list of dolls I want to sell, it’s so hard to sell them too (not just cuz I am sad to see them go, but also because posting/listing and finding the right buyers). It’s made me reevaluate every purchase now. I think to myself before I succumb to buying this I need to make sure that 1.) I have space for it AND 2.) how much of a hassle is it going to be to get rid of it if I have a change of heart. I have one doll I waited more than half a year for only to never play with them, and I tried to sell them but no one wants to buy it despite its pristine condition and lowered price. It’s rough out there.

Right now I have 20 dolls (includes 3 on pre-order), all over 58cm. I know I can’t love them all, so I am working on bringing that number from 20 to 13 within the next year.

 

I currently have 7 BJDs, but I’m actively “playing” only with 2 of them. Playing for me means changing their outfits and taking some photos. I don’t interact with them like I interact with a pet, it’s okay for me if they just sit in a drawer and I take them out when I feel like and have the inspiration. So, I could say I’m a display collector.

The ideal number for me is around 10. In the past, I had more dolls and floating heads, but not all of them had proper clothes, wigs, eyes, etc., so I decided now I will have few dolls, but every one of them needs proper accessories and I’m only allowed to buy a new doll when the others are completed.

I want a smaller, curated collection where I love every doll, but if I had a bigger space and money to dress, let’s say 50 dolls, I think I would be okay with more dolls.

 

At the moment I've got 4 full dolls in my possession with 2 more on the way, and I can safely say that I only really love 2 (soon to be 3) of them. I've been in the hobby for less than a year at this point and the early dolls were mostly just about discovering what I like, so I feel pretty safe in selling the ones that I don't love as much. I'm hoping that after this, I'll have a small collection of dolls that I truly enjoy having.

 

I feel like I do love everyone, which makes me not want to sell many even though I could use the space/money and am running short on finishing dolls with clothes/wig hair/accessories due to excessive buying of blank dolls. Not super happy with that.

I have sold off plenty of dolls I didn't *love* though, and have a few more I'll be listing for sale soon. But my collection will still be in the 25-30 range which really is a lot to manage. And I always have a wish list.

I collect artist dolls and I have a little bit of everything in my collection... all 3 scales and 13cm to 72 cm, cute and chubby babies, children, teenagers, beautiful women, even men (I don't really like male dolls but found exceptions), extra-jointed and hyper-posable fashion dolls, fantasy colors, little fairy-looking creatures, ultra realistic, ultra stylized, company bodies, super uniquly shaped curvy bodies, animal heads etc etc. So everyone fills a very different niche and feels so different to handle, photograph etc. I just love this art form!

 

I have 9. I have to say I am very biased. Unfortuately

 

My dolls number well into the double digits. I don't rotate them evenly in terms of which one gets attention – it's more a case of which particular doll or idea is inspiring me at the time. I have several groups of dolls with different concepts or storylines that don't interact with one another.
For example, at the moment I'm in the mood to sew traditional Japanese clothes, so I'm focusing on the dolls who wear kimono/hakama/haori, even if those dolls aren't all from the same storyline.
I do like all my dolls – when a doll seems more of a obligation to work on rather than something I enjoy thinking of ideas for, I put it up for sale – but the attention isn't always equal or even.

 

I love all my dolls, but I do have favorites that are above the rest.

I do rotate through who gets the attention, but it's not a regular or planned thing, it just sort of happens.
While I spend at least a little time every day on doll related stuff, sometimes a doll is left in the same outfit for months. Sometimes a doll is left int the same pose for a long time. Sometime some basic maintenance gets put off to a vague 'some other time'.
But -and this is important- dolls don't suffer when we "neglect" them. They are there to bring us pleasure, joy and happiness. They are not pets. They are not children or dependent adults. They are just dolls, no more, no less.
I have no obligation to my dolls, no time quota to to reach, no amount of minimum amount of attention for each of them.

The only time the number of dolls in ones collection is relevant to this, is if the owner feels like it's too much.

 

I have 6 resin bjds, 3 of which are "complete," 2 pet dolls, and 2 floating heads with active plans to complete. I also have 6 vinyl dolls, 2 floating heads to finish, and an incoming preorder next month.

I don't feel the need to focus heavily on my vinyl girls, though I love them all very much. They're more for standing around, looking cute, and playing dress up with than trying to make intricate storylines or what-have-you. I also don't feel pressure to play with my pet dolls, since they're small and pretty auxiliary to my bigger doll family. Again, most of the value added by their presence is just being cute to look at!

My big resin kids are all loved deeply, though I am definitely "closer" to some than to others. Marcie, for example, is still a work in progress, so she's not as prominent in my head as Aiyu and Eden, who are complete.

I agree with Lillith -- dolls are not suffering from "neglect." I go through periods of time where I am more interested in playing with some or others, and I go through periods where other hobbies or obligations take all of my energy. My dolls will still be there when I eventually wander my way back into being interested in them, and that's okay!

 

I personally don't have the time to dedicate to a large collection, but some people do and I do think they love them all in different ways. If I had the space, I'd definitely fill my apartment with dolls and an excess of clothes I like. Sometimes you can dedicate your time to something just because it looks pretty, even if it isn't the center of your world.

 

Same. My hope is to buy a house one day so I can dedicate space to the dolls. It makes me sad to see them all clumped up in a tiny space

 

On ideal size I dunno, I like having a lot of dolls since I have many OCs from various stories I write. But lack of space holds me back on being able to display them all.

Honestly I do love them all but my attention on them is cyclic. I do have favorites who have the most expensive/ epic clothing and get the best of everything while others while due to their measurements and body type don’t have as much. But that does not mean I love them less. Each one is important to me cause they are reasonably accurate shells of beloved or hated (lol) characters.

 

I have 25 dolls with two more on the way. I *do* feel overwhelmed at times. Mostly because a lot of them are in a state of half completion.

Sometimes I do go back and forth about what I want to do with my collection. Currently there are two “casts” of characters, and one is usually getting way more attention than the other depending on what I’m feeling at the time. I’ve been really into one cast over the other for about half a year now, and that’s been kind of making me reconsider the other half of my collection.

But, I’m nervous if I let the other cast go, I will regret it once I inevitably get back into them. It always goes that way!

There are a few however that I’m really considering if I want to put the work into or not. There’s a few dolls I’ve seen on the marketplace or on preorder that really appeal to me and I keep asking myself, “would I trade any of my current dolls to have one of those?” And sometimes the answer is yes…

Agh. Decisions…