Can you love them all?

When I first started out in the hobby, my then-boyfriend/now-husband had set our BJD family goal of only enough to fit on a BJD couch and some standing nearby (so about 3-7) as our financial situation wasn't that great to begin with and we didn't have a permanent residence yet. It's been a couple decades now and we blasted past that number. We are more of collectors though so we don't customize our dolls or write fan fiction (okay, I did for like a hot minute when I was young) so I don't feel the need to always play with them or do things with them.

Oh dear. I fear I've been called out as a bad Dolly Mommy. It was so much easier to love and take care of them when we had like 2-4. They were like the "first born" children where they got their own set of clothing and shoes and wigs and accessories and toys and were taken out much and had dolly tea parties and birthday parties where we invited other BJD friends to bring their dolls to be our dolls' friends. Once it got beyond that, I would try to rotate who would sit next to me in the living room watching tv or in the office while I was on the computer. And usually the newer ones just stayed in their original default outfits in the library or craft room, "borrowed" the older one's clothing and wigs, or would get just one new outfit (rarely happens). Now that I've reached I think around 37ish...yeah, it's harder. They are more on display than anything else with only "the favorites" that get taken out to do stuff like conventions or just again living room and office hang out.

Do I treasure all of them? Yes. If we had an evacuation warning due to the fires, we would load the car with the dolls first. Hahahaha. I at least have a go bag and a checklist of what to bring and the dollies are definitely on there. Would I prioritize certain dolls over others if I had less than a half 15 minute warning? Yes, but I would try very hard to bring all of them with me.

I think also it's harder once you hit certain milestones in life. Like, my BJD friends that have kids have a harder time spending time with their dollies as their kids are still too young to understand not to roughly handle their BJDs. That, and these same friends have to make decisions that are more real family related than BJD family related and usually real family wins over BJDs. I have young nieces too that are the same ages and they know enough not to touch Auntie and Uncle's collection but if left to their own devices for sure Crayola markers and crayons would be decorating my dollies.

Having chronic pain also has dramatically changed how I interact with my dolls. I no longer can physically hold them or change them for prolonged periods of time due to the insane pain so I just display them and it gives me joy. It also relates to how I interact with my nieces; just because I cannot hug my real life nieces sometimes due to my pain doesn't mean I don't love them. It just means Auntie has to show love differently until the pain gets better.

 

I have about ... idk, 5 or 6 dolls. I don't really take them out and play with them anymore. I feel too bonded with them to sell them, but I'm not as invested as I used to be. I love them all equally. I feel bad for not really feeling motivated to do anything with them but also too attached to sell them. It's a real conundrum.

 

This is a really good question and I agree that at some point it’s impossible to truly love all your dolls the same. I already have dolls that are just sitting in a drawer or box and I almost never think about them. I’ve started to have favorites after getting into this hobby for 2 years now. And when I shop for clothes or things for the dolls, it’s clear that I’m only shopping for specific ones just out of habit.

Currently, I have an active list of dolls I want to sell, it’s so hard to sell them too (not just cuz I am sad to see them go, but also because posting/listing and finding the right buyers). It’s made me reevaluate every purchase now. I think to myself before I succumb to buying this I need to make sure that 1.) I have space for it AND 2.) how much of a hassle is it going to be to get rid of it if I have a change of heart. I have one doll I waited more than half a year for only to never play with them, and I tried to sell them but no one wants to buy it despite its pristine condition and lowered price. It’s rough out there.

Right now I have 20 dolls (includes 3 on pre-order), all over 58cm. I know I can’t love them all, so I am working on bringing that number from 20 to 13 within the next year.