Coming out

if it's your money, then it's your choice to spend it on what you like. It's no different than if you were saving up to buy a gaming console or something similar. it's a hobby like any other, and your parents shouldn't treat it any differently.

 

Personally I view buying a BJD as buying a piece of art. Most BJDs are individually hand made by single or small groups of artists and crafters and take skill and talent to create. It's completely different from buying a mega mass produced item from a sweat shop factory and supporting terrible working conditions and damaging environmental practises. And the dolls often help the buyer develop their own artistic and creative interests and skill so there's quite a bit of positive things that can come from the hobby.
Aaaaand plenty of people spend more money on things like alcohol and cigarettes in year for their pleasure. So a pleasure that doesn't harm your body and supports small artists/crafters is a lot better in comparison

 

This really varies from family to family, as what is understandable to some won't be to others.

In my case, my parents were dead set against me spending so much on a luxury item, and it really wouldn't have made a difference if it had been a doll, a painting or expensive clothes or shoes. They strongly believed I should be saving up money to move out. There was no argument that would have worked, and I just had to accept that I wouldn't be able to get a doll until after I was on my own.

But for those parents who are willing to listen and hear you out, I'd say just talk to them openly and honestly. Do your research. Learn as much as you can about BJDs and be ready to answer questions, like why are they so expensive, how are they different from play line dolls, what can you do with them, and so on. Figure up exactly how much you plan to spend on the whole doll--doll, faceup, clothes, shoes, wig, eyes, accessories. Break it down and show them the things you chose. If this hobby will increase other skills like drawing, writing, sewing, painting, etc, explain how it will help you. Be sure to come up with the money yourself, rather than asking them to spend so much. If you have a job, save up your paychecks. If you don't, save money from holidays, birthday, graduation or anything else you come across. Maybe have a yard sale or sell things you don't use anymore online. See if you can do odd jobs for family or neighbors for money. If you have any regular bills to pay (rent, insurance, car payment, etc), make sure that you are able to keep up with them as well as save for this doll. In short, just tell them why you want the doll, and prove you're capable of balancing responsibilities and hobbies. Good luck!

 

I'm kind of odd, I hid my hobby for almost a year. I have a good job and my own money, and while I lived with my parents, I paid them rent and they didn't come in my room so it was around 8-10 moths after I started that they even noticed. My dad thought it was kind of odd but went with "her money, her business", but my mom was enthralled. I honestly didn't realize how much she liked dolls. She owns five now, I gave her one I didn't care for as much when I saw the doll in person and she loves the doll, and my dad and I pooled together to get her her first one that she had been cooing over for Christmas.

 

It depends on how your parents are, but I’d listen to what everyone else said and just be honest about it and be willing to answer questions. If they’re REALLY strict about this kind of thing you could always look into getting a tiny doll, they’re usually less expensive and would be easy to keep out of sight

 

Uncanny valley is extremely unlikely, just like pediophobia is. Most people that "hate" dolls do so because society stigmatizes anything and everything coded the slightest bit feminine. There's no legitimate fear; just social conditioning.

I'm not sure why you need to approach this as a 'coming out' thing. Dolls are a creative/roleplay-oriented toy. Play is beneficial for the brain at all ages. If you're spending your own money, then there's nothing to question, and no discussion to be had.

 

Unfortunately it is up to them if they accept it or not, if they don't like it I don't want you to feel like you have failed to convince them or anything. I think something that might help people who are unfamiliar with collectables see it as a positive thing is that the doll might increase a lot in value, that it's an investment. That's not nessecarily true for all dolls but I think it could help to mention, as well as what everyone else is saying on here.

If your parents are kind and understanding most of the time you likely don't have to worry, they will see how much joy your hobby brings you.

In the unlikely event that things do go poorly please don't be afraid to reach out on here

 

This depends on a lot of factors that we (as the audience) don't know.
How open are your parents to you, as an individual and how do you plan on paying for this hobby, being the two main concerns that I see.

If your parents are pretty open and accepting, great! Tell them that you have found a hobby that you enjoy. It's something that you feel comfortable with, and something that you would like to invest in for the future. -I personally started collecting my Junior year of high school, but I had an accepting family. You don't need to justify WHY you love something, it's a creative outlet and it's nothing more than a person who has a collection of shoes, or baseball cards.

If not, this might be something that you quietly save money towards until you have an apartment/condo/living space of your own that you can become your own person in. This allows you some time to save money, gives you time to plan what you would like your future doll to be, focus on your sewing skills, art skills, etc to be better prepared for a doll.

The second portion is how do you plan on paying for a doll?
If you're using your parent's money, they need to be on board. period.

If you're using your own money that you have earned as a young adult, and you have taken care of what bills, payments, etc, you are responsible for; your money is yours to use as you see fit. That's what being an adult is. I have a household that I run, bills that I pay, I set money back into savings and anything else that I see fit for dolls is set aside for that.

I'm sure that you know your parents better than any of us possibly could! You got this!

 

Hi! You know your parents and your situation better than anyone else here.
If your parents are generally accepting and supportive of your hobbies and there are only a few things that could be sticking points, try to imagine why they might have those concerns. There is a video "My Mom's Thoughts on BJDs" by someone who has been in the BJD hobby for 12+ years doing an interview with her mom about her thoughts.
One thing her mom brought up is that she was nervous that her daughter was going to spend all her money on this doll and having it not work out and end up disappointed and sad. Her and her mom talked and came up with a plan that both of them agreed on. Years later they're sitting together sharing memories and having a fun time doing it.
I recommend watching it yourself first on youtube, thinking things over and maybe watching it together with your parent(s) as a kind of introduction. Good luck!

 

I would agree with Asenva's mom, that if the "child" can prove to them that they have responsibility and maturity, then go for it. But don't start with the most expensive doll. Start with one that is under $300. Resinsould or Bobobie, Doll Leaves, etc And once you've passed that hurdle, and you know you want to make a real commitment to this hobby, then start saving for a more expensive doll, if that's what you want.

By the way, Asenva's mom is beautiful.

 

As others have said, if it's your money then they don't get a say in how you spend it.

If it's money they gave you, then it's a bit hypocritical of them to tell you how you should or shouldn't spend it. They either GAVE it to you, therby making it YOURS to spend as you wish, or they are spending their money on something they wanted you to have and pretending it's your own money you're buying it with.

If it's money you've erned, been given by others as birthday gifts or whatever, then you get to decide how and when you spend it an you don't have to clear it with your parents or tell them when and how muh you are spending.

Also, your parents might have no idea how much BJDs cost. Most non-doll people don't. So, they might assume it's not expensive because its a "toy" and that aspect of it might not come up. If it were me, I wouldn't mention the pricetag unless they ask specifically how much it cost. Don't deliberately conceal it from them, but don't volunteer the information if they don't ask outright.

The "playing with dolls" part might or might not be an issue depending whether your parents are narrow minded about what hobbies are and are not acceptable. "Toys are for children," and, "You're too old to be playing with dolls," are frequent comments from the small minded type (judging by the number of people who post about it here on DoA). If your parents are like that, you can start by explaining that thousands of adults round the world are doll collectors and enthusiasts, these dolls are works of art - etc. and that it's just like any other hobby. If either of them have hobbies and interests they spend money on and/or things for, make comparisons to that. If they still don't accept that then stop engaging on the subject. Just refuse to talk to them about it and hopefully they'll get tired of one sided comments and digs.

If they continue to kmke an issue of it along the lines of "You're living in my house, so will do as I say," You might find it easier to rein back your interest for few years, and stop buying dolls until you've got a job, are paying your own way in life, and/or have struck out on your own. If you're still living with them and are paying rent or whatever for the privilege, they SHOULDN'T get a say in how you spend the remainder of your money after covering your living expenses/bills, but if they persist, it might not be worth your sanity to continue defying them.

Good luck

Teddy

 

In this hobby I have made as much money as I have spent for the most part. If you plan on getting into making doll clothes, doing faceups, creating your own bjd or making wigs you should let your parents know that the doll is more of an "investment" that you can later resell for almost as much as you bought it for. That may ease their minds! If not, just ask them to be supportive in your decision (as it is also your money you are spending).

 

There is already a lot of wonderful advice in this thread. I truly hope it goes smoothly for you whatever you choose.

Unless they are paying for it or you are not allowed to use the money for a luxury item I think it is your money and your business.

Finally if like a poster above suggested your parents may have a more narrow mindset or it may be unsafe to go against their opinions then waiting till later is an option.

 

How long 'till you graduate from high school and leave home?

 

As everyone else said, how you spend your own money is your choice, as long as you can afford it, and it doesn't prevent you from getting/saving for anything more important. To me they are little works of art, and I think they're worth it. So, unless you think they would judge you or argue to the point where you feel too stressed or unsafe, and in that case...unless you can "hide" them, as in keep a low profile, if possible, you could wait. I hope you can get your doll though and/or not have to be judged for it!

 

As a parent of teenagers... I want to say that I do talk to them a lot about finances. We stress the importance of the Three S 'es with them when it comes to their money management ( Spend a third, save a third, share a third with a charity) and planning financially for the future. That latter part is where my concerns as a parent would come in if my high schoolers wanted to make a super expensive hobby purchase. College costs are waiting to hit, and driving a car etc. I certainly would want to discuss first if the timing is prudent or if they should wait, or make a smaller purchase. So i can see the parents' point of view for sure.

I do not know what your situation is at home, or your plans for after high school, but I certainly would discuss this plan to purchase openly with the parents. Likely, a good compromise can be reached that way, and no one has to feel stressed or guilty that way, perhaps...

 

Well, for one thing, you know your parents best. Have they been supportive of your hobbies in the past? Also, do you have a budget and plan, with some money set aside for Mad Money and the rest for emergencies, bills, etc.?

Long story as short as possible, I'm a grown adult with a job, a budget, and still live with my parents (cheaper than renting an apartment). My mom doesn't really approve of dolls, but I think I'm winning her over by paying *all* my bills and rent, *trying* (and failing at times) to put money away for emergencies, and only spending my Mad Money on my dolls.

If you have a budget and have been sticking with it, not to mention a place to put the doll, you can probably convince them that you are ready for this hobby.

Good luck!

 

Many people have given you incredibly good advice,
however here are my two cents.
As many people have mentioned, it depends how open your parents are to this hobby and the financial freedom they give you.
As @tanjalalie mentioned it would be good to discuss it with your parents and to compromise, this is a very expensive hobby. I do not know how your parents are, but most parents want their teenagers to save for a car, college, or for them to move out. It would be wise to just sit down and be sincere with them, and see how it goes from there.
Personally, I am not a teenager, I started this hobby as an adult and I live in a similar situation as @Dolorre so I agree that having a budget will also help if you are trying to convince your parents, maybe getting a job if you don’t have one already, and helping with the bills or rent will also help to convince your parents.