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Coping with Dolls

Feb 22, 2010

    1. No, I don't give my dolls sad histories, or problems like I've been through. They never have to go through self-harm or anything like that. I can see how dolls can be a way to cope. I tend to play with them more when I'm going through hard times. But I like to make the time a positive experience, more of an escape. Plus, I wouldn't wish my past on my dolls.

      I wouldn't judge somebody who did do it, though. It's completely understandable, and a valid way of dealing with something. When you know somebody has a similar past to you, even if it's a character that you made up, it makes it a lot easier to heal.
       
    2. I think its different for me. I don't have their characters so much hurt themselves or have abusive coping mechanisms (unless a love of sweets counts!) but quite a few of them have abandonment issues. I also find that when I have a bad row in my life (health takes a turn or I'm stressed to the max) I tend to go on a rescue mission in the marketplace. I look for someone who needs me to rescue them from 'a closet' or 'a box'.

      So I think my coping is in pretending to save others who are alone and have no one to help them. Because I'm alone and have no one to understand and help me while I go through my problems. :3 So I put that over on the doll who has 'been in a box for three years never played with'.

      Because I know how that feels.
       
    3. All of my characters, whether in doll form or not, represent events that happen to other people, and never me. Sometime they are bad things, which I am grateful not to have gone through, and sometimes they are things I wish would happen to me. I have never been in love, I have never gone on an adventure. These kinds of things I let my imagination do for me.
       
    4. **First, let me say that I'm surprised there aren't more people jumping onto this thread - it's a very interesting debate topic!**



      Do you use personal experiences from your life as a reference when creating your dolls? (anything from loss of a pet to abuse)

      I tend to see the 'what if's' when I make a character. I'm thankful to have never been abused by anyone, but I often like to think about what if this character had a particular issue. I often found myself (because I write only romance...and some sci-fi) giving the hero some sort of manageable deformity - like he only had one eye, or some sort of scar. It adds a lot to a character to play the 'what if' game. I mean, not everything will take the character in the direction you'd like, so you still need to be selective.

      However, I think we all put a little bit of ourselves into our characters whether we want to or not. I think there's a point where, to make a good character, we have to identify with that character ourselves. We just don't realize we do it. And it doesn't have to be something as serious as abuse -- it can be something like living with one parent, to something as minor as liking the same foods.


      If I'm going to make a character, I tend to think about how I'd deal with the issue. Otherwise, the reactions and the behaviors seem forced and not natural. I don't like giving quirky behavior to my characters, because it's hard for it to seem natural. Sure, maybe to readers, it does, but I don't like forcing things from myself just so my character can have some sort of quirk that I probably have to keep going to. I'd rather have my quirks unplanned. Then they don't seem like 'quirks', they seem human.


      Have your dolls ever used similar or the same coping mechanisms you've used, even if they were unhealthy - such as self-harm or anorexia?
      Once again, I think we do this unconsciously. I also think that we sometimes change ourselves when we invest in a character we've created. I remember I created a pretty 'unfavorable' character a while ago who had nothing to do with my ideas of functioning in a proper society. And from the times I tried to see life and everything at his level, I began to understand why he did things. I began to think these things weren't as terrible as I'd thought. Still terrible, but not as 'terrible'. Eventually, I lost interest in the story I was writing, and I stopped caring about the character, but my beliefs were changed.


      Have you ever shown your dolls overcoming what they went through, or are they unable to cope with what happened?
      n/a


      In showing your dolls' experiences, coping methods, or ability/inability to overcome a situation, did you feel as though you were able to better handle or talk about what happened to you?
      Never had anything serious happen to me (thank goodness), but I think whenever I invest enough in a character that has had some issues in life, I think I feel more sympathy towards actual people in similar situations.


      Or in showing your dolls' experiences, coping methods, or ability/inability to overcome a situation, did you feel exonerated or vindicated (freed from guilt or justified) about what happened and how you handle or cope with it?
      If I was going to give my characters anything that related to me, it would be within the 'anxiety disorder' range. I know about that sort of thing pretty well, but I think I'd find more excuses to not change or improve.


      Conversely, if/when you find dolls that have similar experiences, coping methods, or abilities/inabilities to overcome a situation, do you feel as though this is insensitive or inaccurate?
      Hasn't happened to me, but I think it probably happens to a lot of people - and I think it can actually lead to benefits. It's like looking into a mirror; maybe, through watching your actions through another can help you understand how your are perceived by others -- that perhaps what you think is completely normal isn't actually normal, and can be seen as just weird. Of course, it can't always be like that; it's pretty normal to deny, say this character isn't like you, sort of like you, or worse than you. But you never admit, really, that it's almost all like you. And if ever I discovered a character I made was a lot like me, I'd prefer I be the one to see it, rather than having someone I know point it out. That can't always end well...