Date...meet my doll...doll...meet my date

Sep 9, 2011

    1. DRUM ROLL

      Soooooo....

      Obviously for you single doll collectors who actively date...

      The person you've been dating is coming to your home for the first time. You keep your dolls out...and you really don't want to hide something that you enjoy.

      I'm a guy, who you really wouldn't think has these 70cm dolls in his bedroom, but there they are. I just freak like....wholly shiz is this person gonna be like weird freak etc etc...I mean I guess if they are it's like whatever because you dont want to date someone who can't except you for you...but still it always makes me nervous.

      How do you deal with this? DO you get nervous....do you even care?
       
    2. Well I'm in high school and I've though about this too. It would really depend on the person for me. I have friends who right away when I got my first doll I told them all about BJDs and I have people I would never tell. I talk about them a lot to close friends but I never post about them on social networking sites or public places. If I was dating a guy who wasn't really into the nerdy/artsy scene I definately wouldn't tell him about them unless the relationship got really serious and was going on for at least a year. That would be me purposely bringing them uo though, not "it casually comes up". Honestly, if he was coming over and I didn't feel comfortable I would hide my heads and eye-less doll and then put my one "finished" doll casually on a shelf where he would be visible but not extremely noticable.

      hahaha I'm very specific X3
       
    3. I never kept my dolls a secret from my BF. He wasn't creep out by them. He was actually an influencial factor in choosing the next doll that we would bring home. The only issue he has with my dolls is the price! LOL!

      I wanted him to enjoy the hobby also, there were heated discussions in the beggining but in the end it did work out he is now a proud owner of a Volks Heath and a Dollshe Bermann (inspite of being mad how much I spent for my dolls he got himself a bermann LOL).

      Just talk about the dolls abit then after that GIVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION TO YOUR DATE! Besides there are alot of collectors of actions figures and non bjd persons would tend to see BJDs like so (no offense but thats the reality I experience here in our country).
       
    4. Hmm... I guess it depends on the person. Some of my friends are scared of dolls, while again there are also others who don't mind or think they are wonderful. It's all up to the situation and type of person XD
       
    5. Well, I would certainly tell someone I was dating about my dolls so that seeing them in my home wasn't a total shock. A little prep can go a long way.
       
    6. I havent told any of my friends yet but when my boyfirend and I got serious I did bring him home to meet my dolls. It started with a "well I have this hobby where I collect dolls" and it went from there. He wanted to meet them and I started him off with my soom Hati and everything went really well! Hes very supportive and will help buy dolls for birthdays and christmas, since I foot most of the bill though he never worries about cost. Weve even talked like "when we move in can I have a doll room?" or "would you mind dolls all over the house or at the dinner table?" Hes even been eased into the floating heads/bodies/ eyelessness/ bald dolls and hes no longer creeped out. I dont really think I could date someone who wasnt okay with my babies since this is a big part of my life... its my main hobby. So I would tell anyone to be honest and ease your date into it. It can be strange but if its important to you and things get serious it would impact your SO eventually.
       
    7. Good question. I don't know if I'd introduce them in any formal fashion, like - by bringing up in a conversation or anything, but I probably would leave one or two lying about and if they ask about them, I'll let them know it's a collector's item. I don't think anyone has any right to judge anyone else over their interests or hobbies. I know guys who collect those Hot Toys action figures and stuff, and I don't think anything about it. For me, it's not a big deal and I hope the person I'm with won't think of it as a big deal either. If they do, then obviously things aren't going to work out in the long run. Not because I'm choosing my dolls over some guy, but I'm a very laid back sort of person and doll collection is just a hobby for me. It's not what defines me as a person and if someone can't understand that, then it's their loss.
       
    8. For me it'd really depend on what stage in the dating we were. If it's the early stages where we're still getting to know each other and figuring out all the fuzzy details, then no I wouldn't bring them up.
      If I thought I had genuine chemistry with someone and I thought it was time to share more about myself (I'm really reserved with people usually).

      Then I'd be like "Ok so yadda yadda yadda, and by the way. I really love my dolls. I sew for them, shop for them and spend way too much on them for a girl my age. But it is a part of who I am, I don't intend to change and I just thought I'd clue you in so if you ever come over you're not creeped out by them."

      If they say they can't accept it, oh well. I'd consider it as a better off kind of thing, if I really liked them I'd probably have a good cry and go on with my life.
       
    9. Well the guy I'm currently seeing saw them before we started dating. They were sitting out on my bed in my room and he and my friend Emmy came in with me to look for something and started looking at them and playing with them. He thinks they're kinda neat. But they aren't a big deal, most of the time they sit on their bench/chair in the corner by the doll supplies (doll boxes full of clothes, props and sewing bits and bobs).

      I don't hide them though. I think nearly everyone I know knows about them, even the people at work. A couple of times I've taken my floating practice head to work to show people what I mean about the eyes and such.
       
    10. That's how I introduced dates to them! Just a "This is what I like" and then focus on them for the rest of the evening. It's best to mention them offhand, then you can gauge their reaction for the closeups ;)

      Admittedly, if they're giving a negative vibe straight away, it's something I wouldn't be happy with, particularly the lack of accepting anything out of 'the norm'.
       
    11. My dolls are an important factor in my life. If my date doesn't like them, then gtfo XD
       
    12. Excellent question! My local doll friends and I had a discussion about this very topic last week. For those of you who aren't dating anybody just yet (but would like to) I strongly suggest reading this article. My friends and I came to the conclusion that it depends on the size of your collection. One or two dolls sitting next to your computer probably won't cause a fuss. But a larger collection (dolls that take up a whole bookcase for example) would have to be declared upfront, preferably in your online profile.

      The reason is because of that article. If I played Magic once every 6 months with my friends it wouldn't be a big deal. But if I was gone every weekend because of some international tournament it could become a problem. The person you're dating deserves to know if s/he's with a person with a house full of dolls. It becomes equally as important as declaring you have a child or you're divorced.

      However, I agree with what others have said. I have a larger collection. It's part of who I am, just like all my books. I'm not going to change who I am just to make somebody else happy. If somebody doesn't like dolls (and therefore doesn't like me), great! That's their choice. But they deserve to know that upfront.
       
    13. I'm not single, but I would have loved to discover that someone I was dating had an interesting collection. I think that hobbies add dimension to someone's personality and I like the idea that a person has a passion about something. If someone thinks badly of you for being who you are, with all your complexities, I think it's better to know earlier in the process than later. Word of caution: my husband's ex became jealous of the time he spent practicing on his instrument (he is a musician), so it might be a good idea to find a partner who also collects something ( it need not be dolls) and so understands the time and expense involved in hobbies. Good luck.
       
    14. The dolls are about the least strange thing in my room. Most people who know me know I 'play with dolls' and have crazy hobbies. By the time they'd come over I assume I'd have mentioned the dolls at some point.

      I don't think you would want to hide things like that. Not that that is a deal breaker like some secret hobbies, but its part of you. You may want to warn them before hand that you collect giant dolls, but I wouldn't stick them all in a closet because if things work out you will have to tell them eventually and if dolls are the deal breaker that would be good to know before you got serious.
       
    15. I never hid it from my husband that I collected dolls. This hobby is a huge part of my life and nearly every other hobby I have is some how connected back to this one. I would not hide it from friends or dates, since it is a big part of who I am. Make sure you still focus on your date and don't let the dolls completely rule the relationship. Make sure to show interest in your date's hobbies too.

      But to me, hiding it is the same as pretending to be something you're not. If you are ashamed of something you love, I'd really have to question if I wanted to be your lover. It may be totally different than human relationships, but if you were so afraid of being seen with something that means a lot to you, would you be ashamed of me too?
       
    16. What great feedback.

      It sounds like most of you bring it up in conversation before the person would come to your home.

      I usually don't say anything and when they come over they obviously see them sitting there. I usually just get "wow...those are creepy" which dosen't bother me, I'm in the frame of mind that they are in a mild way.
       
    17. I think the potential pitfall isn't if you should talk about them. It's how you talk about them. Blabbering non-stop for three hours about how awesome dolls are is probably going to turn off your date. But I don't see the harm in casually mentioning them when you're talking about your hobbies. "I collect art dolls and stamps. So what hobbies do you have?"

      I also agree 100% with CloakedSchemer. Never, ever be afraid to be yourself! Don't be ashamed of your hobbies. They're what make you unique! And honestly, do you want to be with somebody who keeps ranting about your "fugly dolls"? You'll be miserable because s/he hates your beloved hobby (or really miserable if you try to drop the hobby for him/her), and your date will be miserable because they're around your dolls.
       
    18. Honestly, collecting dolls just isn't that weird of a hobby. If your shelves are lined with shrunken human heads in glass jars then I could see forewarning a date about them, but dolls? Who cares? I've found that when I don't make a big deal about my "strange" hobbies, no one even notices them...or if they do, it's just a passing, "oh, that's interesting" and we move on. When you treat something like a non-issue, then it generally is.

      I should note that I've been collecting toys my entire adult life, and it's never had any impact on any of my friendships, romantic or otherwise (although I'm happy that I ended up marrying a fellow toy enthusiast!)
       
    19. I have a lot of tattoos, stretched ears and a septum ring. I think if the guy I'm dating is cool with that... he can PROBABLY deal with a few dolls in my room. Since I don't treat them or talk to/about them like they are real people, I doubt it would ever be an issue. Why on earth would I want to date a guy who was freaked out by unusual hobbies anyway?! I'd expect him to have some of his own...!
       
    20. haha Love this! i think i would go over the top and sit them on the sofa with me and introduce them one by one! lol no...seriously, when people know i work or have worked in fashion they kinda get it, but if you met me out and about you probably wouldnt know i collect dolls!
      i think i would just say what i've always said which is "it's just the same as stamp collecting but more fun and better to look at!" then get on with what they were invited back to my place for! hehe
      (sorry to all the stamp collectors!)