Dealing with FOMO?

I try to wait toward the end of the ordering period vs. buying the doll the first day it's listed for sale. I try to really think about it... there are times that towards the end of the order period I realize the initial excitement of a new doll release has worn off and I'm not tempted by it anymore.

If the company has history of doing re-releases I will tell myself that I can try to get it at a later time and wait for owner pictures to solidify a decision.

Lastly, if I'm sorely tempted but don't have funds for it... I will ask myself if I'm ready to part with some of my current collection to get the new doll. If not, I try to accept that the shiny doll is not in the cards.

I think battling FOMO comes down to good financial decision making. Ultimately you will lose out on some dolls if you're the type to keep your finances under control. And when I remind myself of this fact I feel better about what I do have vs. what I don't have.

Hope this helps!

 

This is all personal and not really any sort of a tip, but I hate spending money. I'm very stingy (probably to a fault) and very indecisive. Dolls are about the only thing I will drop a large sum of money on. Buying doll accessories is even more painful for me. I will think long and hard and change my mind 20 times before committing and then usually miss out.

Unless you have too much money, it's not really smart to buy every limited doll just in case it's the greatest doll ever. Try to keep in mind that more beautiful limited dolls will keep coming. They really are endless! FOMO seems to be the best way to get dolls flying out the door of the factory and companies are using it to their advantage.

 

I have something similar to FOMO in the exact opposite way, 99% of toys, handmade goods, clothes, and BJDs that I love are from the 2000s and most are discontinued. I was too young at that time to buy dolls and I feel like I missed out on all the amazing stuff since I don't like new releases. Every day I am dreaming that the companies make the specific discontinued sculpts I want, especially Orientdoll(Leekeworld) and Latidoll. I still have hope that it will happen one day... Anyways, I have a lot of FOMO in regards to things showing up on secondhand market and missing it, as well as long time collectors that have the stuff I want that I don't get to have. Also when there's only one and it's super rare on the secondhand market, but maybe it's not the color or condition you wanted, it's a tough decision to make before it's gone.

 

It's a money and space question for me - if I don't have those, I will also only get frustration out of purchasing a doll at that time. Once I manage to wrap my head around that, the temptation eases a lot. I prefer buying blank, too, so it's usually not a super time sensitive release situation thankfully.

I do sometimes get the reverse second-hand-market fomo like @maiyufi describes, though, having also looked at dolls in the 2000s with no money for them. It's much harder having to put off those purchases, even if they are not the perfect version I'd had in mind. I've realised that my tastes have changed a little bit though, so keeping that in mind helps.

All in all, fomo is never about a specific doll possibly making you happy, I think, and will pass after a while

 

This year as been a terrible year for my hobbies and just in general. I've missed nearly every doll I wanted this year. There were many amazing dolls i desperately wanted. I think once you get over your first few disappointments on missing out it becomes easier to get over it because I've learned once i miss on one there is always another limited doll I want that's even prettier or better. I also learn i can get a decent price on 2nd hand once I started looking. Well not for Volks and Dokkebi judan collaboration dolls. Those are my favorite absolutely need to have if it's a limited Volks like Ariel or Peakswoods dokkebi judan or idealian raffle. I've missed all of these this year. The resale cost for Idealian raffle dolls I don't think I can afford this year. Peakswoods value doesn't seem to go up so i think it will be easy to get the new hanboks 2nd hand, but finding the exact doll I want 2nd hand for the many options of peakswoods is going to be hard. The cost mosf likely will be good 2nd hand because peakswoods don't seem to keep their value. Volks seems easier to get then Idealian x dokkebi judan collaboration raffle dolls.

To get to your question of how do I deal with missing out is I focus on a new upcoming doll and hope i can buy it. If i can't then I focus on waiting for 2nd hand. If that doesn't work it's just waiting for maybe in a few years someone will sell it for a price I am willing to pay and of it is a one off outfit hope one day I can get lucky enough to come across someone selling it. If that doesn't work I think maybe I can get the outfit commissioned. If i can't do that then another new doll I want that is limited comes out which i like better.

My tips aren't helpful, but I think it's a matter of hoping and waiting for me. It gets easier once you get over needing to have all the resin colors, all the sculpts, etc. Once you pinpoint what really draws you to a doll you realize most of the dolls in your collection is beautiful, but you are okay parting with. So far, I realized I am fine selling a lot of my dolls, but some pf them o absolutely would be devastated if I had to rehome them. I've been fine rehoming Dodollsdream Teacup Marionettes, Fairyland, Soom, and Idealian. I absolutely don't want to let go of my Peakswoods and SartoriaJ dolls. I've come to realize these two are my absolute favorite in terms of satisfaction. I got one Volks doll I don't want to ever part ways with. I have many floating heads that I don't mind rehoming if I have to. I have more other brands, but I haven't gotten to those dolls yet.

I have a harder time letting go of doll wigs, eyes, and clothing. It's hard for me to find these items that I like for my dolls. There are so many dolls that get released, but not many outfits that get released that I would want for my doll. Which means I have many dolls, but not enough outfits because there isn't an abundance of outfits I want to purchase due to this I don't like letting go of outfits especially if they are limited.

I have like over 20+ dolls, but like only a few outfits. I now want to focus on their wardrobe. I am downsizing, so I'm not sure how many dolls I actually own and some are on layaway. My doll collection comprise of many naked unfinished dolls with default face up, custom face up, or no face up. I want to focus on making them more complete. Which means my focus now is amassing a large collection of wigs, eyes, outfits, etc. Things that will complete them because they can't just lay in their boxes naked forever. If my collection makes up of mainly 80% dolls and 15% floating heads then the remaining 5% would be outfits, eyes, and wigs.

Like what @Gynure said being bombarded by constant limited dolls can desensitized you to the fomo problem. That happened with me with BTS merch. There were so many releases of merch I became more choosy on what to buy. It also made me want to buy less because I had so much BTS merch. Now I buy the merch when I absolutely love it. With bjds i haven't yet gotten to that point yet.

Also I've been in teh hobby since the pandemic and noticed a pattern. Peakswoods releases their best dolls around fall near Halloween time. Which means i can skip all their releases and wait for then. Although I missed this year due to so many issues this year. I'm hoping I can buy a lot next year for Peakswoods Halloween event. Idealian tends to release a few limited dokkebi judan collaboration dolls every year I've noticed so far so I wait for then, but I missed it this year. SartoriaJ is the problem i haven't noticed a pattern with them. They release so many dolls i like every month. Volks is easier to skip because it's not actualy their dolls i like, but the concept like if it's Disney or Harry Potter then I want it. I haven't gotten the Harry Potter ones except for one.

Edit: I do recall around December peakswoods releases some nice dolls too. Before Halloween season I noitce they release like Fob dolls or concepts I don't feel will be as good as Oct to Dec dolls. So peakswoods it's best to wait because their best dolls are near the end of the year. I feel like Idealian releases raffle dolls and collaboration dolls around fall to winter, but I'm not exactly certain due to Idealian not being my favorite. I do know they are going to release like an amazing dokkebi judan doll at least once a year so far. It's best to wait then and skip all their other dolls. I was completely fine when I sold a limited edition Idealian. It might be limited quantity of like 20, so i didn't sell it for a good price. The Idealian dolls I'm after are the raffle or limited of less than 5 to 10 dokkebi judan collaboration dolls. I feel like those are Idealian best dolls. Idealian's patten changed though. They use to release dolls about once a month. I don't know when they changed their pattern, but I been talking to someone on social media and they told me idealian has been releasing a lot of new dolls and closing the sale earlier than the deadline. So it seems they are cranking out doll concepts after another. I would skip those and wait for the more rare dolls of theirs. Reselling the not so popular sculpts has been hard so far. I've come to realized I just want their collaboration or raffle dolls. I also have come to realize I don't care for their default face ups. Even with a default face up i couldn't sell the doll that easy. While the raffle doll I wanted so badly sold for like 10k or more, so there was no way I could get that doll 2nd hand.

So to summarize, skip all those dolls and save up for the best dolls from a doll company once you learn the pattern of releases and learn what will really make a doll stay in your collection. Don't be stupid like me and collect the dolls that are cranked out after another and get the real gem among all those dolls. For me that would be Peakswoods dolls from Oct to Dec and Idealian raffle and collaboration dolls. Even if it's limited it might be just a doll not a gem. Does that make sense? I have limited release dolls and they are just regular bjd dolls to me, but the Peakswoods Halloween dolls are like gems to me even though they don't retain their value. While Idealian raffle or collaboration dolls are like a dream doll that i might never be able to get with my luck. All the dolls so far are limited time period, limited quantity, limited face up, etc. You just need to discern which is really truly limited or will be hard to get 2nd hand for a price that isn't way beyond your budget like that 10k doll I want so badly. Then it's easy to beat fomo when you tell yourself you need do save for that real special doll and not use the doll money on all the new releases because those layaways will build up and eat your funds for that really special limited doll.

One more thing from my experience with BTS merch is companies release merch after merch after merch with set time periods and small quantities in the beginning then produce more within that period. It's to build up anxiety so u feel the need to buy asap before someone else snatches it up, but there is actually enough supply. Those merch isn't that valuable or limited. It's just to make a profit. The real merch that truly is desirable, limited, and not enough supply will come later. That was BTS artist Made collection which i couldn't afford all of it and missed because of crazy demand on it. I wasted so much money on the "limited" merch before it that I couldn't afford to buy it all and even if I could i wouldn't be able to buy it because of its true limited supply. There wasn't enough to meet the demand even with multiple releases. I remeebr the priced skyrocketed on resale. It was crazy. As the years continue it might appreciate more perhaps lose its value, but I think it will retain its high resell price. Think of a doll like that. Hopefully what I said makes sense and was helpful. One more tip using BTS as an example. Old merch of theirs is pricy due to not making many back then I think because they weren't popular then. Even though those merch weren't limited I think it's value is very expensive. Also a photocard of BTS depending on its demand and rarity can be very expensive, but there is a huge abundance of these limited releases pc not all will be expensive or super limited. You need to discern which will be hard to get for resell. So it's best to buy the limited item that really will be hard to get when you do miss it. If you think that item won't be hard to get 2nd hand for a decent cost then skip it.

 

I used to experience fomo with limited dolls from around 2013 until a couple of years ago, and as you say when they keep coming it's never-ending. Same as nyaaain said above, I also hate spending money, and dolls are the only expensive thing I'm willing to spend more money on, otherwise I'm generally a very frugal person.
Funny thing, the way I solved the problem I had with fomo came down to being bombarded with continuous limited releases, at some point it really felt it was made on purpose, what are the chances that so many different companies/authors decided to release their limited dolls around the same time? (I don't mean only before Christmas).
Either way, I also saw over the years practices for limited dolls that I found disappointing on a moral and human way and all of a sudden it really hit me and I just couldn't care anymore. It's not something I would do, nor I would make limited dolls if there is a possibility of enough demand to make more than one preorder, so I choose not to support limited releases anymore. If I get a doll and turns out later there is no other preorder of that doll in the future then fine, things happen. But I don't want to participate willingly in limited editions anymore, it forces people to spend money they might not have, or sell dolls they might not otherwise sell, people getting the doll just to sell as soon as they receive it for double the price... and personally I get the stress of not being able to get the doll later because in secondhand they're absolutely prohibitive for me in most cases.
I see limited release, "oh, cute!" and I move on, same than I do when I see a doll that is way out of my budget, as much as I might like it.

 

The thing about FOMO is that your attention is lured away from what you do have, and you fixate on what you don't have. The dolls you don't have will always, always be more than the dolls you do have, and we all know that "just one more" is an infinite number. You cannot possibly have all the pretty dolls out there, or even all the dolls that you want... but you know what? Neither can anyone else. We're all in the same boat, and that's okay! No one has infinite money, and even someone magically did, some dolls just can't be had because they're no longer made and/or can't be found secondhand.

Self-control is not a sexy topic to think or talk about, but I think that's a valuable skill to learn in this hobby (and in life, really). I'm not an expert at self-control by any stretch, I still get tempted by dolls a great deal, but I'm learning how to pull myself away from those very very distracting preorders, and turn my attention to the dolls I have at home. The dolls I own are the ones that will give me enjoyment and satisfaction, not that doll that isn't in my hands and maybe hasn't been made yet. FOMO happens because it feeds on hope for something that doesn't exist -- that doll that I will eventually? maybe? own, and will maybe? perhaps? fulfill all my deepest hopes and dreams. But I've found that real joy and contentment comes from enjoying what I do have in my home and in my hands, right now.

Same, that's how I handle it. Or, I give myself 5 minutes to fantasize about owning the doll and what kind of character I'll make of it... but once that 5 minutes is up, I deliberately make myself close the webpage/social media, make peace with the possibility that I'll never own that doll, and immediately think about something else. And what better thing to think about than the dolls I do have? Even better, I go play with them as soon as I can. Playing with my crew, dressing them, posing them, taking pics of them, learning how to sew their clothes... that absorbs my energy and attention... pretty soon I've forgotten all about that preorder that seemed so necessary.

 

My post was too long. I wanted to leave an example because I am bad at explaining.

Here is an example of BTS artist Made collection item for resale:

Mercari: Your Marketplace

This is way more then the original cost. Plus, JK is one of the more popular members so it means his item will cost more in resale. If you think with this mindset it will help you beat fomo. I had to use BTS as an example because they are my other hobby I collect a lot of stuff and had fomo with. When i use BTS as an example it helps me think carefully on bjd purchases. Too bad this year is so bad I missed nearly every doll I knew had to have instead of the fomo dolls. Although I think you can get his mood lamp for less than the $400 listed, but you have to be careful there are fakes on the artist Made items because it is so popular and limited supply. I wouldn't be able to tell which one is real. With this thinking anything that isn't an exorbitant increase is cost would be suspicious.

Edit: I am selling a lot of my collection actually due to many reasons, but I relaize the dolls that are up for sale were my fomo dolls. It's truly a huge hassle selling the dolls because you bought it on a fomo whim and having to deal with excess of dolls and missing the real special dolls you might really want more than that fomo doll. More than half my collection are fomo dolls. Which means I have a lot of work to sell these dolls and have to accept I'm going to be stuck paying these layaways that money could have gone to a real special doll I really wanted.

 

My FOMO dissapears when I work on the dolls I already own. I guess keep yourself busy with the dolls you know you love. I plan my doll purchases for years.
If I like a doll, my mind floods with ideas and projects for them. I then "shelf" the idea.
If the idea of this doll still excites me after revisiting the idea a few times, it's a safe bet I want the doll.
The only true impulse/fomo purchases I made were my purple and green souldoll kids. But the desire to own a green and purple 1/4 doll lived in my head for years. So for them, it was more like "now is the time!"

 

I’m the same. I pretty much always have a character first, then I go in search of the perfect doll to shell that specific character…so things are sort of planned well in advance, sometimes for years, while I search for the perfect sculpt to match my vision. This largely protects me from FOMO. Unless, of course, that special sculpt just happens to come up with a limited time span, which is then a real pain. For that, I rely on a really good doll dealer with generous extended layaways (like for the flower boy, Dollzone Moment, recently rereleased after more than a decade.)

 

This is exactly how I approach it.
I have long ago accepted that of course I will never be able to get everything I want. And I probably wouldn't actually want to own every doll I ever wanted. That's just too many dolls.
Looking back at many years in the BJD hobby there are quite a few dolls that I know now that if I had bought them when I was considering them I would have been happy to have them now, but not to a point where it feels like I lost something for not owning them. Some of them I may still get one day if they pop up second hand or if they are re-released, but most I probably won't.

When I do get caught thinking about a doll that got away I usually pick one doll out of my current collection and sit down with it. I remind myself why I love this doll, spend some time redressing it, make up some more details about it's character and backstory and that will usually dull the need for a new doll.
Focusing on what we have is the best way to redirect attention from we don't have.

 

Honestly... I put more emphasis on building my bjd crew around important to me characters (OCs and existing) than seeing a release and instantly thinking "I must have it!". There are lots of "ooh, shiny!" things out there that grab my attention. But, if it doesn't fulfill a particular purpose in the here and now, I just look, shrug it off, and move on.

Yes, sometimes it can be hard to pass up limited releases and secondhand eye-catchers. My process for assessing whether something is worth it:

• Wait on it for a few days to think over the options
• Weigh in on what purpose it will fulfill (which character does it work for, etc)
• Does it really fit what I'm looking for?
• Can I justifiably figure out a way to purchase it without doing financial damage? (After it's cleared the previous hurdles)

If it passes muster and is obtainable without repercussions, I'll look into purchasing it. If it's not financially feasible, I take the loss. It probably helps that I have no interest in buying fullsets and prefer to do all the customizing and faceup work myself

 

I think maybe what I understand as fomo might be different to other people so I just wanted to point out that for me fomo is not necessarily a fear of missing out on every single limited release, or a lot of them. It can also be for that one single limited release you have been waiting for a long time.
I plan carefully my purchases way beforehand, and most of the limited dolls I purchased in a fomo way was because I had seen them since their inception and loved them, followed them and then even if the situation was not ideal to get them I had the fear of missing out on them and I purchased them. I simply couldn't buy them at another time but the time I bought them was not great either, but it wasn't an impulse buy. Would have I bought them if they weren't limited? Sure, but not in a rush, at some other time.
A lot of limited dolls aren't either dolls you can think about for years to purchase, since info and preorder times are not necessarily communicated months in advance, sometimes weeks, sometimes days.
So in my opinion people can still have a lot of self-control and still experience fomo when it comes to limited dolls. I don't personally equal fomo with impulse buying.

 

That’s true. Sometimes the timing is just not great, and if it was something you’d been waiting for, and wanted for a long time, fomo is hard to avoid! There have been dolls that I really, really would have loved to buy, but just couldn’t at the time, or were just too expensive for me. I still wish I could have when I happen to see them, but sometimes it’s just not in the cards for whatever reason, and I try to stay away from doll-related social media and put it out of my mind.

I agree with you that fomo doesn’t have to mean wanting to buy every time-limited doll, and can be experienced even if you’re very selective. Funny enough, sometimes it’s helpful when dolls are gone after a while, because it’s just not an option I have to consider anymore. If later on I find them again, that’s good, otherwise, it is what it is. Honestly, it’s true, there is an enormous amount of dolls out there, and there will always be new beautiful dolls, and maybe even better than the ones I really wanted in the past.

 

I may not be the best person to answer because I get the feeling often. But, I can share a few tips that helped me shelve a lot of these purchases (both FOMO from being limited and FOMO from a good sale)

A few questions I ask myself,

1. Do I really love this doll sculpt specifically, or just the way this doll is styled?
2. Can I fulfill these same doll plans with a doll who's already in my collection? If not why not, what is it exactly that makes this doll so special and different from the dolls I own?
3. Is there anything at all about this doll that I dislike? might there be another doll released in the future who meets the same needs, but even better?
4. Will my collection feel incomplete without it, or am I just having a cool idea that's not so meaningful to me?
5. Am I comfortable with how much I'd be paying, including all the extra costs that come with the doll (face up, clothes and accessories, shipping)? Not just a matter of whether you can afford it, but whether you feel the value is appropriate.
   
6. If the doll is limited - does this studio ever rerelease their dolls? If not - is this likely to go on sale again, is this really the best deal I can get?
7. Is there an event coming up in the future that might be a better buying opportunity or change my mind about which doll I want?

That helps weed out a lot, although, I have gotten better at appreciating a doll's specialness in this process
So my new added measure I've been trying out is waiting until the last chance to order. I've done this with both an ongoing sale on non limited doll as well as preorder period of limited dolls. If you truly want it, you'll still want it on the last day to order, right?
(Do your own research on the particular maker, but often even limited quantity sales don't sell out as fast as you might expect, so you can set a time period to think about it based on the sales history)
So far I am 3 for 3 with this measure, I lost the urge to buy 2 of them completely, and the 1 that I still want but didn't have to order, is comfortably on my wishlist instead of in my cart So I'll continue enforcing this rule going forward.

And lastly, it can help to talk out your feelings with a friend in the hobby. Although we can sometimes enable each other, let them know that you're worried about succumbing to FOMO. They may have some insights you have not considered before, especially if they know you and your collection well, or are familiar with dolls from that maker. And help you discover whether you really will cherish this doll in your collection or just worried about missing out.

 

That's fair - we all approach FOMO differently!

For me, the keyword in FOMO is the Fear. Fear is irrational and feeds off negative imagination -- "I need to buy this doll because I can't imagine myself living without it! If I don't get it now when will be the next time?" -- which leads to emotional manipulation and drives the impulse-buying part in my monkey brain. At least that's what happens to me.

So I need to resist that fear, pull the preorder out of the irrational realm and approach it in a more rational way. "Can't imagine myself living without this doll? Yes, I can imagine it and I'm going to do that right now. What does life without this doll look like in my world?"
Playing with my current dolls, focusing on what I do have, helps me to escape that fear-based thinking and bring my thoughts back to building the crew at home. Once I get out of fear-based thinking, my rational thought process is a lot like @jade-eyed-cat's checklist and also @Novalyna's. I shell OCs so I've learnt that building my crew and their characters gives me the most long-term satisfaction, so if I can focus hard on that, I can evaluate those new dolls more rationally and whether they too will add to that long-term satisfaction.

If the doll-in-question stays in my mind even after focusing on my crew at home, I make a Pros & Cons table -- I divide a piece of paper in half, write on one side "Reasons to Buy this doll", write on the other side "Reasons to Not Buy this doll", and brain dump all my thoughts into both columns. I can see my thoughts on paper and that helps me decide things more cool-headedly... and I'm always surprised at what gets revealed. I've made this Pros & Cons table 3 times already, as a result I bought 1 doll and dropped 2 off the wishlist. It really doesn't take a long time to do. (For what it's worth, these 3 dolls are all small-artist made, my chances of getting them after their preorders are vanishingly small, whatever decision I make now is basically a forever decision.)

I'm learning self-control and what helped me most was to do whatever I can to escape the Fear part of FOMO. So even if I end up joining a preorder or buying that secondhand doll, I have done my mental due-diligence and wasn't emotionally manipulated into a buy.

 

When I first started out, it was kind of a problem because I didn't have many dolls and all the newest dolls looked so amazing. But now that I have more experience with different dolls, it's easier to pass. I still feel FOMO when I first see them. But, I know sleeping on it will usually make the feeling go away. Reminding myself about what I already have also helps. Usually, I do forget about it.

 

It can feel quite empowering to be tempted by a doll but decide not to buy. It feels like you can say 'you have no control over me' and free up the energy that got invested and realise there's nothing driving you except yourself.

I still struggle with the worry about regretting not buying a doll and impulse control; I think it stems from growing up not being able to have the few things I really wanted. I think for me FOMO is strong because I did miss out on so much and it did hurt and I had no way of processing the emotions at the time. To be honest, I still don't know how to comfortably work through disappointment, regret etc as it's something i'm now starting to learn. But I have only become aware of it through this hobby so in a way, the FOMO has been a helpful tool in gaining insight on some of the stuff I've struggled with.

 

I have zero interest in fullsets, since I always have a very clear character in mind for a doll, so that really cuts back on me ever caring about limited releases. As far as sculpts, I think in over 15 years in the hobby, I've only been really disappointed about missing a release maybe twice. I found one secondhand, and I never got the other and...kind of don't care anymore? I think more often than LE, I get drawn to event pieces that usually aren't available for sale, but require a certain purchase amount to qualify for them. And it's always a company where I'm not currently interested in anything they have for sale.