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Did you ever fight with yourself

Sep 24, 2011

    1. Over whether or not this was a hobby you really wanted? I am currently at this point, one minute I am excited to save up for dolls, but at the same time I fight with myself over do I really need it? How will it improve my life? Ive always loved dolls, but I dont fit into a typical doll owner category. Im a stay at home mom, and I have never done cosplay, Im not hardcore into anime etc. I guess in my own opinion I dont look like the kind of person who would spend hundreds on a doll lol. Now im not saying that everyone who owns these dolls are like that, but a lot of doll owners I have seen are a bit more accentric in their style and way of life lol please dont beat me up @_@ I am my biggest critic and I just wish I could be at peace with my decision. With that being said I am very excited to start making clothes and jewelry ^_^
       
    2. I fight myself over spending money on pretty much anything...>.<
      Usually, it's because I can't guarantee that I'll have money for something that I really love if I spend it (I'm the person who'll put something back on the shelf because "but...I can make that!" Dx). But I actually find it's easier to spend for my dolls. My mom was hesitant to let me spend money on them at first (I think she thought I'd give myself a panic attack ^.^;;), but it doesn't bother me.
       
    3. I've been there and over it. I just call it collection instead of hobbies. I just justify it as life's luxuries lol :0 headphones(Grado/AKG/Sennheiser), electronics, dslr lenses, bjds just to add to that collection.
       
    4. You should go to a meeting once, then you'll see there's no such thing as a typical doll owner. All kinds of people collect these dolls. Some are old, some are young. Yes, some are into anime and cosplaying, but they aren't even a majority I think.
      I think most people have battled with themselves over whether they need it. I did at first as well. It will always be a lot of money, but if you don't desperately need it for important things, you can spend it on something that can enrich your life.
      Personally dolls are almost therapeutic for me. I customize them and I take photo's of them. They are like my zen garden so to speak.
      Most of us had to crawl or jump over that ledge and take the risk, but once you're over that you'll most likely think it's worth it. Some people get a doll and find out they don't like the hobby. It happens, but you don't know until you actually get into it.
       
    5. Um, no one's gonna beat you up for being different (We're a community OF being different! lol) It's not compulsory to cosplay or be hardcore into anime to be here, all we 'ask' is that you like playing with BJDs :3

      Well, since you're the one who made the decision, the only person who can make you accept the decision is.. you! But if you think that playing with dolls will not improve your life, then we can't do anything to change your mind, whatever we say. Most of the time, it's up to you to decide.
       
    6. I fight with myself on spending so much money on these dolls. As much as I love them there's always a part of me that's like... what could I buy with this much money that I could actually make use of. Not saying ball joint dolls are useless, but I mean things like food, personal items like clothes or makeup.. a puppy lol.
      I also fight with myself over sculpts. For the longest time I wanted a Little Fee Bijou, but now I'm leaning towards a Kid Delf Cherry, who's larger and cheaper then Bijou. But then I remember the character I made up for Bijou and it makes me debate on getting her or Cherry. I still haven't bought either of them yet... :P
       
    7. In the same boat I guess and it took me a while to decide what I wanted to do. I bought my first doll and though i loved him I somehow felt like I wasn't doing the hobby right (yeah silly right). I'd been to one doll meet and felt like everyone else had a lot more money than i did to buy things and everyone knew each other etc etc. Then I realised about a year later that it wasn't that way, everyone worked really hard for their dolls. The first meet I went too a lady there was criticisng the fact her newest doll had come with red eyes as a default and how terrible this was when I had made a point of buying red eyes for my doll (this made me feel like I was a prober noob and somehow i'd got it wrong).

      OKay lol I can't wait for more dolls now but there is nothing wrong with buying dolls as and when you feeli like it instead of having the pressure of constantly having to pay for things. Just enjoy it ^___^
       
    8. The money I spend on my dolls does make me stop and think every now and then. However, I love my dolls and they are a part of my life and bring me a lot of personal joy. I get over my hesitation very fast :fangirl:
       
    9. Lmao best attitude ever....and tbh people spend thousands on smoking and drinking and other wasteful things...at least dolls don't give you liver disease ^__^
       
    10. yes. and I almost gave up the hobby because of this.
      I just bought dolls, re-sell them and get new ones instead. I've always been terrible at making good characters so I after a while I got bored by the character so then I stop wanting the doll I am waiting for D: I used to not have enough money to buy more than one doll per year so it was really frustrating (and I didn't have money for anything else after I bought the doll and an outfit,wig,eyes). I had to choose THE one and it was just so stressful for me (it kepts me awake at night sometimes .__. )! then once it arrives there is either the character problem or I didn't like it as much as I thought or I realized this isn't THE one so I sell it.... and after a bit more than a year like that I just thought "what's the point exactly??? not only can't I bond with any dolls but even when I do I can't take good pictures or them, give them nice faceups or dress them nicely :/ " it sounds very stupid like that but it really depressed me.
      but I just love dolls too much so I never was able to quit :sweat but now I give a lot more thought before buying a doll and I have a full time job (I work 5 days a week, all year long instead of 3-5 days/week during summer only) ^-^ hopefully this time it will work, lol.
       
    11. I fought with myself for about a year before I actually joined and took the plunge. I hate hate hate having too many material things so for me to spend so much money on something that isn't practical really shocked everyone. But something happened and I grew out of all my older hobbies, like video games and anime. And since the character is still really important to me, and I needed a new hobby anyway, I wanted to choose something I could put my heart and soul into...and have something to show for it.
       
    12. I'm not the best person to say this, since I like cosplay and anime but, not a lot of the forum like anime and cosplay. I usually try keeping my hobbies separate for that reason.

      If you feel like the hobby isn't for you, instead of beating yourself up, why not try stepping away for a while? Take a break, and try not to do anything doll related. If you keep gravitating back, you probably belong here.
      ;)

      Sometimes, you need a little time away to sort out your priorities. I nearly quit the hobby last year, and for some reason, I ended up coming back and getting another doll.
       
    13. I collect BJDs and am not into cosplay, anime or manga. I'm a college student and enjoy these dolls immensely. Sometimes I wish I could stay home so I had more time to work on them! I think they add another dimention to your life. They are truly beautiful works of art, I have never regretted buying them once I see them in person.

      I'd just say to make sure you buy dolls that you are in love with and refuse to settle ^^ After that, enjoy them! Remember, if you realize that this is just too expensive and you're in over your head, you can usually sell them for about what you paid. Good luck, and I hope you can come to peace with your decision :)
       
    14. YES! That is exactly me! All the time. Even more so because I am a jobless teenager, so money doesn't exist. Although, admittedly sometimes the inner conflict it is only due to my bipolar disposition. But I get this all the time. I'll think to myself, is it really worth all this money? Why am I even collecting dolls? What will this ever amount to?

      But then I look at my dolls and I know this is the hobby for me. At least right now. And if it makes you happy, then why not spend hundreds of dollars on dolls? I'm even trying to get a part time job just so I can spend my first paycheck on two dolls! Don't you have the right to do what you enjoy? I'd really rather spend several hundred dollars on a naked hunk of resin than go on a shopping spree and buy a million things that don't bring me the joy that my dolls do.
       
    15. Oh, no, the puppy is much more of a money sink than the dolls. You have to replace everything that they destroy in their first two years of life. >_> I love my dog, but at times it's awfully hard to like his 10 month old self.

      As for the OC: As long as the dolls make you happy, why should it matter what other collectors are like? there are a lot of moms on the forum like you, also a lot of people like me who used to be the sort of person you described and grew up a bit as her interests changed. You shouldn't feel threatened by what other people are like, because the only thing that matters is that you enjoy your doll.

      There is no such thing as a bad doll owner. These dolls are not alive. I don't feel bad if I don't play with them for a few days, and it doesn't matter if I leave them in the sun or in the car (yes, they'll yellow, but some plastic yellowing is not the end of the world). They're just objects, they can't be hurt by it in the same sense as I can be hurt emotionally and physically. I play with Max every single day, multiple times, because he's my dog. He's alive. I care for him, take him for walks and train him because that is my responsibility as a pet owner. If I didn't, I wouldn't be a responsible dog owner - I'd be a bad one.

      At the end of the day, the people who are able to buy dolls is those that have the money and the means to buy the doll. If they want one, they'll get one. They don't have to pass the test "You must be this weeaboo/old/young/pretty/smart to play."
       
    16. Thanks everyone, theres some great responses!
      I guess part of the reason I am hesitant too is that I do have two children, and multiple pets and so many bills. Its something I want to do for me but It will take so long to save up the money for the dolls I want. I feel like the money should go towards vet bills or a savings account for my kids dentist. I just cant seem to settle my mind on it because I dont feel I deserve it and that my kids and animals always come first.... But than the other part of me thinks I have given up everything for my family and our money is always spent on bills etc and I should be allowed to put money aside for something I have wanted for years. Maybe I will just go to a meet and wait for my christmas babies to get here before I decide on a larger doll. Haha you see what I mean? <_~ *sigh*
       
    17. If you're a housewife, you automatically deserve a doll. At least. ;) Don't forget to take care of yourself along with everyone else. When Mom is happy, everyone is happy!
       
    18. I've kind of come to terms with the fact that if it pleases me I'm okay with it. I do feel guilty now and then, since I'm a high school student and my family is pretty poor and in all reality... I ought to be saving up for college life O_O
      To avoid it I made a deal with myself that I would buy the cheapest dolls on my wishlist first - obviously, they're all expensive, but by the time I can buy the two cheapest (both $160) I'll have a real income and be able to budget appropriately for a more expensive doll.
      Honestly, if you're not starving your children or cutting off electricity for a doll, there shouldn't be a problem :P I wish my mom would buy more things for herself. The way I see it, if you're putting in that much effort for other people how could you not put a little aside for yourself?
       
    19. I don't think there's a stereotypical doll owner. At the meetups everyone seems to come in all shapes, ages, interests, etc. There's the perception that it's a lot of young cosplaying anime fans, but I don't think that's true (even though there are lots who are interested in those things, sure).

      Someone who likes making clothes and jewelry is NOT rare as a bjd owner. Nor are stay-at-home moms rare.

      Bear in mind that younger folk tend to be on-line more and want to meet-up more. Owners who like staying at home tend to do just that, and they may not have time to be on-line a lot. So, it seems that owners are more one thing than another because those are the active people who post a lot and socialize more.

      About spending the money--I'm old enough to totally freak at the prices. They are totally insane prices--prices I'd never believe I'd pay for anything. Yet, I grit my teeth and do it. Why? Because I really enjoy having the dolls. And that's the main thing. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do--if you are able to spend that money and you really, really want that doll, then THAT'S the important factor.
       
    20. Hello! I'm turning 16 in a week and I can definately relate to your situation. The only anime I have every watched and like was Death Notes, I do not cosplay or draw and read manga and I do not listen to Jpop. However, I love BJDs very much and the fact that they brought me into photography and I started doing faceups is a bonus for expanding my interest in art. There are a million things a high school-er could and should be saving up for (car, college, etc) but I invest my money in dolls >.< Sometimes I wonder if I should be spending so much on BJDs since I tend to hop from obsession to obsession quickly, but as long as they make me happy I could care less ^^. I plan to buy a Soom Dia with my birthday money (if I have enough)!
      Besides, worse comes to worse you can always sell your collection!

      EDIT

      From a daughter's perspective I wanted to add that sometimes I feel like my mom does so much for me and she practically buys me anything I want (except dolls I buy myself) that a lot of the times I feel really bad that she spends so much on me and not herself. If my mom had an expensive hobby I would encourage her to spend a little on herself if it makes her happy. If you are a good parent you deserve it, and my mom is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, becasue she is just completely selfless.

      Ffff sorry to get a little off topic >.<