Do you believe that some owners mistreat their dolls?

I'm not sure if I understood, but if someone said that having the dolls sitting around in your house means that you neglect your dolls... well I'm sorry but I disagree.

I care very much for my dolls, but I could not stand having them nude and wigless in boxes all the time! I love them too much not to see them. I live in a basement, and there are only 2 high windows in the room the dolls are sitting in, so they receive no direct sunlight. The room is rather dark and we use an air conditionner when the weather gets too warm and a deshumidificator when the humidity gets too high.

Nobody touches my dolls but me, and we don't let the cat inside the room by himself. After a photoshoot, I clean my dolls with care if they got a little dirty. All in all, I think I'm pretty dedicated and carefull with my dolls.

 

I dunno, I somehow have the feeling this'll be closed because a lot of the replies have the same direction to them so there isn't much debate really. Dolls are nice and pretty and you can of course personify them and attach personalities, just like you might to any artistic character (like when you make roleplay or comic characters), but at the end of the day they're just objects and I've been known to do some pretty dumb things to my floating head because 1) it cost $20 and 2) it showed up in bad shape anyways.

To be honest, it's become a contest between my friend and I to see how silly we can make it look because thats what we enjoy doing. Do I feel bad? Not really, no. I was the crazy kid that cut her barbie doll's hair and sharpie colored it pink and purple. It's a thing to enjoy, however you do that is your business but it's perfectly within your rights. There are things I have that I treat pristinely, so its not like I'm incapable of being 'good' I just don't.

While I do think that some people who like.. beat their things against the wall or something, might have anger issues, it's really not the issue with most people it's just the simple consideration that.. it's a doll. It's not going to be very emotionally affected if you mess with it a little. In fact it's not going to be affected at all unless you or another living being directly manipulates it. Or unless the wind knocks it over or something but you get my point.

Unless you have somehow taken some spirit or poltergeist and trapped it in your doll and given it the ability to think, speak, and act on it's own then it's just a doll and not something that has rights.


A funny thought: If objects had feelings- Goodness, how would our chairs and couches feel when we flop down onto them after a long day at work?

 

I think people are focusing too much on the word abuse, here. It's just an adjective simply used to describe the treatement of a doll. The OP was in no way comparing mistreatement of a doll to child or animal abuse... O_o

I wouldn't say that I mistreat my dolls, but I certainly don't treat them like they are made of glass, or are extremely valuable. I set them out in my room, sometimes in the sun, I touch their faces, I carry them around, let my dogs sniff them, sometimes they faceplant. But to me that's just normal treatement, not necessarily abuse. I don't collect these dolls, I own, to play with them. I think there is a line to be drawn somewhere between a normal level of treatement and abuse, but I don't think I've quite crossed it yet, and don't particularly plan on it.

If someone abuses their doll, then that's their perogative. They paid for it, let them play with the doll however they see fit. I don't necessarily condone mistreatement or abuse of dolls, but I'm not going to judge someone or tell them they can't do whatever they'd like.

 

Abuse really should only *seriously* be called that if other LIVING people are affected. That's not to say that things done in the doll community cannot affect living people. An owner can do whatever (s)he wants with his/her posessions so long as they're all paid up and whatnot...
But there are certainly things that go on related to this hobby that I, personally, would call abuse... NOT what an owner does to his/her own things...but instances such as when people steal dolls or scam (not just refering to the recent DollPa incident, but also when people pay for dolls they never get or send them off to be customized and return damaged or not at all) or damage someone else's doll after disregarding the rules/requests of the owner, or when people recast or buy with stolen credit cards causing chargebacks to the company!! THAT AFFECTS REAL PEOPLE.
If I felt like backing over one of my own dolls with my car...it'd be stupid and wasteful, but my right, so long as it was my doll, my car, and nobody else got adversely affected.

 

I don't believe in "dolly abuse", but I'm sure that some people may mistreat their dolls to the point of damage. I think, however, that most often this is done in ignorance. If you haven't seen a cracked, smashed nose or similar, one might be lulled into thinking this heavy, imposing piece of resin is more durable than it actually is.

"Abuse" is a term I'd reserve for people. Say if someone damaged your doll to hurt you... but still. That's abuse of a human, see?

Raven

 

There's a fine line between exercising your right to play with your dolls (for instance, taking them outside to do photoshoots, rubbing their faces etc) and pure stupidity. Not doing your research and using permanent markers to do a faceup on a non-coated head is pure stupidity. Or, a lovely word that ravendolls used, ignorance.

That said, though, I agree that "abuse" is an extremely strong and serious word that shouldn't be used lightly on inanimate objects. You can mistreat your doll, or not take care of it properly, whether deliberately or out of ignorance, you can even yell terrible threatening words at it and sling it across the backyard, but that's not "abusing" your doll. Although the latter might be an indication that you need some help.

 

This.

Overall I agree with the "don't believe in dolly abuse" folks. Abuse is definitely a serious term I'd reserve for living creatures, primarily fellow humans, but also pets etc.

 

maybe instead of "abuse" it's just a "lack of respect"?

I remember when I was a kid, a kid with a very messy room, my mom would sometimes offer/threaten to get rid of my stuff. I would wail about how important it was to me, and she would say "well, if it's so important to you, why aren't you treating it like something special and nice?" and that, I think, is the essence of what makes the difference between someone who just enjoys through playing and somebody who doesn't respect their expensive belonging(s).

like I say, there's definitely a large grey area where one person's "ABUSE!" is another person's "SHOWING MY LOVE!" and I'm definitely far from the handle-with-gloves end of the spectrum. however, it sounds like some people have come in contact with doll owners who are treading close to, if not over, the line between not holding back and treating your doll like you don't actually care.

not that I would ever do anything about it, since people can do what they like with their possessions.

 

According to this expression... apparently... yes. Some do.

 

ROTFLMAO

but she's so cute!

 

I don't think it's possible to abuse a doll. Neglect to take proper care of it, sure - it's property and if you don't attend to it when needed it will fall into disrepair or be wrecked. That's what happens when new faceuppers accidentally melt off a face, or a doll gets left in the sun and turns yellow. It is just a doll at the end of the day, an item requiring upkeep and careful supervision.

 

Wow, I kind of feel sorry for the doll. Yet at the same time I want to pinch those adorable cheeks.

 

I think that at the end of the day people spend their own money on their dolls, so i think people are free to do as they wish. I dont like to see people 'mistreat' their dolls at all, especially if they are rare and i would love to have them!! but again there is not a lot that people can do. Also everyone has different levels when it comes to treating their dolls, someone may do something that others would see as terrible but could be completely normal to them.

i suggest that people live and let live.

thats my 2 pence worth

 

LOL! Sher, that's awesome. A Joonie pic is always a great way to lighten up a conversation. ^_^ I wasn't even thinking about it from the character perspective. In which case, yeah, I totally do. One of my dolls is always the brunt of the practical jokes and mocking in my storylines. ^_~

I'm glad for the clarification in the first post though... I think the thread was starting to drift in the direction of a semantics discussion rather than the original issue. I'd like to hear more opinions on where that line between "enjoying a doll" and "mistreating a doll" exists. We all know where the extremes are, but at what point in the middle does the crossover occur? Does frequently leaving a doll in a sunlit room constitute mistreatment? Carrying dolls in purses (which admittedly is far easier with tinies than with 60cm dolls, lol!)?

On another tangent... are there things that are fine for a standard, but would be considered mistreatment on a limited? (I'm not talking about severe mods, but daily treatment of the doll... things like where it's stored or how it's transported, etc.)

 

That just kills me!

 

It's possible to abuse or mistreat objects, but I think this is generally considered carelessness or negligence, as many other people have said before me.

I wouldn't consider customizations handled with care to be carelessness or negligence, it's part of the point of owning the dolls to many people and they're designed to allow for it. There are enough differences of opinion about what is or isn't good or safe to use on or with them that it would be easy to hear, "OMG, you use -(insert bone of contention here)-, you're careless!" I genuinely disagree with that logic unless it's something that's been clearly shown to do actual damage and the person simply doesn't care if it happens. Other things, like, "It's not a good idea to doodle all over a doll in Sharpie if you want to remove whatever it is later or sell the doll in the future" are a little more cut and dried, but I don't think intentional permanent modifications would be in any way negative. (Heck, I'm considering them on three future dolls myself, from ear mods to some nose sanding to some intentionally permanent body markings, and you can bet that if I can pull it off, I'm going to try.)

A lot of the things that have been mentioned are linked to the doll's resale value, which is more about the potential value of the doll to others than it is to the current owner. To be honest, I've had far too little coffee today to be sure how I feel on that subject. (The coffee-fueled brain needs charging.)

I can say that if there isn't damage being done in terms of broken parts or careless yellowing, I'm somewhat on the fence here, especially as someone who has no plans to ever sell my dolls on. For one thing, I'm a smoker -- that means that even going into this in the first place, I knew I was not going to be able to sell my collection in the future, whether I smoke around the dolls or not, so they're here for keeps. That alone would probably brand me Satan Incarnate Dolly Mommy Dearest to plenty of people. (Would I smoke around other people's dolls? Hell no! I wouldn't do so in other people's homes, either.)

Similarly, someone who can't afford the bestestest clothes and eyes to someone else might be thought of as 'mistreating' their doll in some way by someone who believes the doll "deserves better".

It's very hard to draw the line about where sensible concern ends, and holier-than-thou attitudes or what a friend of mine calls 'pointless snootbaggery' begins.

 

This is a tough one, because a person has the right to do whatever they want with their possessions--it might make me cringe, but there's not much I can say about it. And besides, I might do things that make people cringe for all I know--we are all different. Some people are so ultra-careful, some don't seem to think twice, and a lot of people probably falls somewhere in the middle. I fall in the middle, I think.

Now if it's a person handling *my* dolls, then they better treat them nice, and I've had a person handle them with less respect than made me happy : P However, that's a different situation.

Because hobbyists often have a lot of emotional investment in their dolls, I think it's very easy to feel sorry for a doll sometimes (or at least I find it easy to), however it's important to remember that the reality of the situation is that it's the owner's call.

 

I think this happens in any collectors community, differences on what makes a 'responsible' collector and what doesn't. I've known classic car collectors who never drive their cars, they tow them to meets on a trailer, roll them off and then carefully clean out the tyre treads with cotton buds! Others drive their babies on a daily basis, both camps think the other is misguided. I suspect doll collectors are not much different.

I can't cope with 'display only' collections in my life. I want to touch and play and take them to see friends and photograph them. I'll be a little more careful with mine after I move because I'll have a hugely sunny sitting room once I move out of the basement I'm in now, so I'm planning to keep them in my bedroom which isn't sunny. But then I used to hang my really nice dresses on hangers on a picture rail because I liked the fabric and didn't want to stuff them in a cupboard where they wouldn't get seen.

I touch their faces, stroke their hair, take photos in sunlight...last weekend I let my friend's 13 year old play with Esme. She's not a careful child but I kept an eye on her and she knew that if she damaged her there'd be hell to pay.

If that's mistreatment well, so be it. My boundaries differ from yours and you know what? That's ok, because they're my dolls, I paid for them and if they get broken or damaged I'm the one who has to deal with it, not you. You can think it's a waste, you can think it's awful, you can think I'm awful, you are entitled to hold an opinion. I am not actually obliged to alter my behaviour to suit you. In fact I'm more likely to consider what the dolls character would think about what I'm doing than what a stranger thinks.

 

well, not to bad mouth anything, but theres a certain store in the city I live in that sells BJDs, and all the dolls in the store are NAKED! I just wish they'd put some clothes on them! Isn't part of owning a BJD accessorizing them? lol. just a thought.