Do you believe that some owners mistreat their dolls?

There's always that person who gets a new doll, damages it almost immediately, whines about it to everyone within earshot and then when they get another one it's rinse, repeat. I have to wonder what they're doing to the poor things.

But I've had people insinuate that I was mistreating my dolls by not making them 'manly' enough, so that line's in a different place for everyone.

 

The friend I mentioned earlier is JUST LIKE this. To the point that another friend said "She's getting another doll? Oh no! That poor doll's hands! They're going to get broken!" It wasn't an IF with her, it was a WHEN. And you know what? Sure as anything, she broke that doll's hand too. And then commenced whining, and actually told me that I should feel bad for her, like it was something automatic.

She's a great person and all, but I don't feel bad for her, I feel bad for her dolls. Any one she gets or comes into contact with for long enough is fated to have broken off fingers, and her whining about "HOW could it happen?! It's ______'s fault, not mine!!!"

 

I don't think that many people mistreat their dolls with malicious intent. Unless they've got serious wads of cash, I doubt anyone is going out of their way to break these babies. Though there is plenty of stupid things to do. I guess I don't toss ignorance in the same bin as mistreating, but the result can be about the same. I mean, you could accidentally break someone's arm playing rough sports with them, but that doesn't mean you're mistreating them. (okay, that might be a bit extreme, but I suck at making up metaphors and similes on the fly)

But like, general wear and tear from playing with a doll doesn't really fall in the category of mistreatment in my mind. Nothing lasts forever. And besides, we're buying these dolls to make ourselves happy. If having the occasional dirt stain etc. doesn't infringe on our personal enjoyment, why not? And I guess the people who think you should lock dolls in display cases and throw away the key can have their "I told you so" moment when the wear and tear is too much... *shrug* I guess it's like "Would you be happier holding and messing around with you doll even if it may get damaged or would you be happier if your doll never got hurt?"

I can't stand keeping a doll just for display. All the figures I have for display, after a while I barely even register in my brain that I have figures in my room because I can't feel any emotional connection with owning them... then it develops into mild resentment when I have to dust all of them (I hate cleaning in general). It's just like "Oh yeah, I got a Naruto figure" but it's rarely "I LOVE my Naruto figure!" BJDs are poseable. So help me God, I'm gonna play with that articulation.

Though mistreating a doll's character... ahaha... I'm so guilty. >_> I've already mistreated Saif's character in my mind and he hasn't even arrived in the mail yet!

 

Wow Suuchan, you don't let your dolls near her do you?

 

I don't know, it's their money, their doll, their entertainment. How can a person "mistreat" an inanimate object they bought for their own enjoyment? It might not be how you enjoy your doll, but it's not worth more than a chuckle or an eye-roll. Some people collect action figures that never leave their case, others play with them because they aren't buying it as a collectible it's a toy to them and there is absolutely nothing wrong with either...unless one of them is telling the other how they are suppose to be treating it.

If they don't mind their doll losing value playing hard with them, well they spent a bumload of cash for it, so they should get their money's worth of fun. Whether that means putting it in a hermetically sealed case & pristine to enjoy for years to come, playing with it like a Barbie, or shooting roman candles out their eyes. I think it's silly to get emotionally invested in what other people do with their dolls. I might be entertained by the hideous results, but concerned about mistreatment or abuse of the doll? Not really.

 

If it's not my doll I don't care...unless I'm buying it used with undisclosed mods/damage.

 

Exactly what I wanted to say, and the roman candle comment made me lol. XD

 

If we buy them they are ours to play with. Who is anyone to tell us what to do with our dolls, and whose business is it what we do with our dolls? Its not abuse nor is it misuse, because they are not alive. Dolls are in the same league as a toaster. They just happen to be slightly more aesthetically pleasing. If you don't use your toaster for a while and it gathers dust, do you ever consider that you're neglecting your toaster? Do you consider it toaster abuse for you to plug your toaster in and stick a couple of slices of bread inside and actually toast some bread?

Same thing with dolls. Is it neglect if you put it on a display case and never play with it or only take it out for meets? Is it abuse to actually take it out and play with it/photograph it? If it isn't for a toaster or anything else that's your property, then it isn't for a doll.

If you want to have your toaster on a billboard for the world to see when they drive by your house, who's allowed to say anything against you and call it toaster abuse? Or chastise you for not making more toast, with toaster neglect? Seriously, same thing with a doll. Whose business is it, really?

/rant

 

I think that a bjd is like every expensive thing i buy
(but gets abit more special treatment )
but basically when i first got it i was really paranoid.
but now that ive handled it for a while i get used to it .
i think thats the same with other people
when they get their dolls they are scared of them getting flaws.
but once you have it for more than a month.
you kind of know what to do and dont care as much.
i think its not fair to judge wether someone is mistreating it or not because i think when they get it
its their choice where they put it ect
as long as its not being smashed into a million pieces i dont think they are mistreating .

 

Dolls (at least this kind) are expensive, but it's all relative. If you have money to burn and nothing is really "precious" to you, then you're not really going to care for it as carefully as someone who scrimped and saved. It's like the women who have so many designer clothes and shoes that they just leave them bunched in heaps on the floor instead of hanging or folding them carefully. *shrug* I do agree that BJDs deserve respect due to their artistic qualities, but if you're the kind of person who doesn't respect any of your other belongings, why would you respect your doll?

 

Why should people act a specific way with their dolls? Thats a bit rediculous if you ask me.

Sorry but if I want to drop £300+ of my hard earned cash on a doll then I think I have every right to do whatever I please with it.

You may not agree with what another owner does with their doll but at the end of the day its their choice and really none of anyone elses business.

I think if the doll is a gift or something, then you should respect it as a gift and treasure it. But if its a personal doll then I think you can do as you wish, regardless of the consequences.

 

It's completely subjective as to what mistreatment of a doll actually is, so I don't think anyone has the right to point and scream abuse at another owner. I drag my boy around with me whatever the weather, leave him in dark stain-causing clothes, smile when he gets minor damage and call it character, ignore him for days on end, and hand him over to random people in the street if they're curious. Some people would call it mistreatment, I would call it... well, normal interaction with a treasured and much-loved possession. There are doubtless people more careful with me who would pass out in horror if they saw him sprawled out in the sunshine. But then they probably have a 'bad habit' that would make an even more careful owner swoon. I think people should stop worrying about other owners' views and just enjoy their dolls however they see fit.

 

People that scrimp and save are just as likely to play rough with their dolls or be reckless as someone that has "money to burn" and there are collectors with a lot of money and a lot of dolls, that treat their dolls like a collectable that they want in pristine condition.

Just because a person doesn't treat it like a work of art doesn't mean they think any less of the doll. It's just a matter of what their intention was buying it. Each of our individual idea of what these dolls are to us is highly subjective. A collectable, a toy, a work of art etc. Does it really matter if it's not your money?

Saying people should treat their doll a certain way (your way) when they are the ones that spent their hard-earned money on it (it's their property) doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Let them have fun their way and you enjoy them your way.

 

Exactly. You can't mistreat an inanimate object.

What more is there to say?

 

Mistreatment of a doll is being careless with it. It's rarely intentional, but I think that using a doll that carelessly is like being careless with an expensive car- you paid all that money for it, it is only right (and in a way, only ethical) for you to take as good of care of it as you can. If the damage to the doll comes out of it being well loved, it's like the Velveteen Rabbit- nothing malicious has been done, that's wear and tear, part of enjoying your doll. (And to complete the Velveteen Rabbit analogy, you're making it real.) It's your doll, but if you're doing it on purpose, other doll owners who may have saved up really hard or settled for a less expensive doll may not be particularly happy with you.

EDIT: It's misuse, in the same way that, say, bringing your toaster to a batting cage and hitting a few home runs with it is in a way misuse of the toaster. It's not what it's for. Taking a jackhammer to a doll, though within the limits of artistic license, is not really 'what it's for'.

 

It's funny, actually; I seem to be in quite the minority here. Not that I think people shouldn't be "allowed" to do whatever they want with their dolls, but all the people saying "dolls are on the same level as toasters" actually made me cringe, lol. But that's only because I'm one of those weirdos who read The Velveteen Rabbit too many times as a child (and I didn't have many friends who weren't stuffed animals).

But my own emotional attachments aside, I do feel it's sad when people treat their dolls without any sort of respect - and by this I mean flinging them around carelessly or stepping on them or running them over or whatever, not doing extensive mods or more "normal" playing with them. Because I feel like the people who made them might be sad or disappointed to see it, you know? The people who make the dolls spend a lot of effort on them - especially the smaller companies - and as Rhoswyn said, that's not what they're made for. Even if you spend x hundreds of dollars on it, it's still damaging or destroying something beautiful that was made for you.

Sure, you bought it and it's yours, but that doesn't make it any less wasteful or saddening. Not that it's anyone else's place to condemn you for it, but I wonder if it's really all that satisfying to treat your possessions that way.

 

My question for you is... do you believe that some people MISTREAT or ABUSE** or just have a serious lack of respect for their dolls? Should people carry more respect for something that a lot of time, effort and money was put into?

To be honest I have no right to judge how other people treat their dolls.
I myself treat them like babies lol. Anyone that has BJDs are normally very careful with dolls. I haven't seen anything that I would class as abuse, in terms of leaving them somewhere dangerous or purposefully damaging them.
I did however feel a little panicked in the 'Fell down and went boom' topic, I don't class that as abuse but if my doll fell with it's face against a wall I'd rush to it and panic where as in that thread people take pictures of dolls that have fallen down (sometimes in quite harsh ways) but even then I don't think they are doing anything wrong, it's just something I personal wouldn't think to do with any of my own in that situation.
So I guess my answer is no, I have never witnessed doll abuse or mistreatment.

 

Not after she broke one of mine after I very specifically pointed out exactly where he was and told her to be careful of him, no. And especially not after she was shouting at me that I had BETTER feel sorry for her, because she broke another one.

She lives in another state as me and we've met up in person three times, not hard to avoid, really. Yes, I believe she mistreats her dolls-how else would she have broken 4-5 sets of hands (some not even hers)? It's not abuse, because they're not alive, but yes-it's mistreatment. She constantly will message me saying she tripped over one of her dolls because she left him, naked, smack in the middle of her floor (in the room that her cat pees on her bed when he's mad).

Let's just say that I would let her hold my dolls-but not dollsit.

 

Since I don't think this point has been brought across I thought I would ask:

I've been wondering what happens if someone personifies the doll to make it have a soul. Then scars it up and you know says that they feel sorry for doing this to the doll because it's so painful to them. Wouldn't that be more of abuse than haphazardly treating it or man-handling it?

Since I have seen reaction like this being brought up in conversations before.

 

God she sounds like one of those people that have a baby then make it ill so people feel bad for them, weird! It's obvious attention seeking especially as she gets mad that you don't feel bad. I wonder does her family pay for the dolls or does she work for them? lol