Do you believe that some owners mistreat their dolls?

Hey!
First off, I'm quite sorry if this has been addressed before. I couldn't find anything about it.

So...
I share this wonderful hobby with my mother, and we love our dolls so much.

I had told my grandmother about my hobby and she bought the same scuplt doll in a different skin tone. I think my mother and I have showed more love to this doll much more than my grandmother.
My grandmother has said she brought the doll out of her case once. I have brought it out every time I've seen it. It is sitting at her house nekked. She was wigless until we went to IDEX... But the wig doesn't fit. x.x It seems like she does not care about her. I feel like doing a dollie-rescue...

Any opinions, similar stories? Anything anyone would do?

 

You might want to check out the Do you believe that some owners mistreat their dolls? debate thread.

That said, it's their doll, they can do what they like with it... as bad as you might feel for the poor thing it's really their choice if someone wants to leave their own doll naked, paint it with sharpies or what have you.

 

Its her doll, she can do as she likes with it, its not alive (ie like a puppy) so whats the difference? Ifyou ask her, maybe she will give it to you. Then you will have twins. Go for it.

 

Without stepping too firmly into property rights, maybe you could just chat with grandma to see if she might be interested in letting you foster the doll. She probably bought it to participate in you and your mom's hobby, you might have to hold her hand a little to see if she might be interested in taking it a step further. I would find some cute outfits for the doll and send her pictures, suggesting that her doll and your doll could get together for a twin photoshoot that you could spend the day together arranging. It would mean that you have to do the legwork, but maybe once her doll is decked out alongside yours she may be inspired by the potential to play a more active roll in the next round.

There may be a chance she never gains a real interest in it though. At least the dolly wont be naked after that though!

 

Thank you all for your replies.

She did purchase the doll to finally have a hobby to share. Indeed, it isn't a real person or living object, but I believe the dolls to be special and something not to be just tossed aside after such an anticipating wait or monetary cost. You are right though, it is hers.

I suppose I shall start nudging her along, and showing my grandmother things she would deem cute for her lovely girl.

Again, thank you River, bdwvr, and Anneke.

 

Does she even know where/how to buy accessories? Some people jump into this hobby without realizing all the extras dolls need. I bet it would be a wonderful bonding experience if you sat down and went doll shopping with her.

You should also realize not everybody plays with their dolls the same. Some people drag their dolls everywhere. Others leave them on shelves for months or years.

 

Indeed she does. And you are correct, people do different things.

 

I remeber watching an interview with a woman who works at Custom House, and she specifically said play with your dolls. I think a slightly grubby doll shows that the owner obviously does a lot with it. Mine sit in a cabinet but I still love having them around. I think I just go with the main thing I have read here, they spent the money on it, let them have their fun

 

You're very lucky to have a family member to share your hobby with

It doesn't sound like she's not caring for the doll, just not doing as much with it. This could be for a number of reasons: She isn't sure where to shop for accessories/figure out what fits; she just really takes her time about putting things together; her way of enjoying dolls is less hands on that you or your mom.

Truthfully, there isn't one way to play with or love dolls. Some people are very hands on and active while some really prefer to set them on a shelf or cabinet and just admire them and that's it (and of course there are many people that probably fall somewhere in the middle). Being less active with a doll does not necessarily indicate a lack of care -- that is just a collecting style. I have other collectible items that pretty much just sit, and though I'm quite hands on with my dolls, it's not shocking to me that some people will treat their dolls much like I treat my collection of tea pots -- as pretty decorative objects. The hobby is filled with so many different people it really takes a live and let live attitude and willingness to not get too personally caught up in what other people are doing with their own dolls.

 

I don't think it's "mistreatment" or "abuse" since the dolls can't really realize what's happening to them, but do I think some people are really careless, clumsy and lazy with their dolls? Yeah. But, that's their money and their call. I mean, I have some kind of an OCD for perfection - I treat my dolls very gently, keep them in a cool dark place, wrap them up in lost of soft cushiony stuff when I go out and never forget bubblewrap for the hands or the face protector. This is also why I refuse to do my own face-ups and sew my own clothes - I'm not too shabby at either, but my skills are nowhere near where I want them to be for something I cherish that much. I research what needs to be done to keep these dolls safe and undamaged (within reason, obviously) so they can age gracefully. I realize that not everyone is that way. To some people, broken fingers aren't a big deal because they can be glued back, uneven yellowing isn't a problem and sharpie on the face can be sanded out.

If someone was being really heavy-handed with a mold I liked I might look at it and feel a little sad, think that it's a waste, but other than that it probably won't bother me. They spent the money, so they can do whatever they want with it.

However, they need to stay away from my handling dolls. Sadly, my experience with these types of people says that they tend to end up treating everything that way, even stuff that doesn't belong to them. And not out of malice either, they just don't realize they're doing it because it never was a big deal to them. (And yes, I do speak from multiple experiences that range from someone wanting to pose my dolls with theirs on the edge of a really tall bookcase, over a hardwood floor, balancing on one foot while they were taking a picture from a meter away without any kind of spotting to someone trying to scratch off my doll's face-up with their nail to see how it was sealed)

 

I treat my dolls a bit like a piece of rough pottery- you can paint it, you can sand it, you do whatever you like with it, but it's kinda fragile so you shouldn't be too rough.

Frankly, I don't bother with precautions to prevent yellowing because I don't think yellowing is ugly (and it's inevitable anyway), nor do I worry about damaging face-ups because I do them myself and it's one of my favourite parts of the hobby. I also sew all my own clothes, because I really really like the part of this hobby that speaks to customization, I can make the doll entirely mine- from head to toes. I've even experimented with wig making.

Just because I treat my Macbook or my ipod a bit more delicately, doesn't mean that I don't love my dolls. I do cherish them, I just don't believe in treating them like they'll break on contact with light. Yes, they were expensive- but that doesn't mean that they're made of glass. And because nearly everything about them is handmade by me, I don't have to worry about anything getting broken or damaged.

That said, I personally understand that other people fear the light on their dolls, or hate the thought of them being anything but pristine, and I treat those dolls accordingly: ie very gently. In fact, I treat anything that's not mine very gently out of respect for the owner of the item. Just because it doesn't bother me doesn't mean that other people won't be bothered by it. What's worse, I may treat my dolls a little more loosly, but if someone hasn't handled them before, I expect them to treat them carefully- which is why I tend to be more careful myself when handling my dolls in front of people. (It's a matter of "I own the doll, I can do what I like with it, but you'd better not mess it up! XD)

I guess my bottom line here, is that people really need to stop being so concerned about what others do with their property, just treat things belonging to them the way they'd like you to, and everything will be fine.

 

I believe that if there's any mistreatment of dolls, it's unintentional and particularly well-meaning.. I mean, some people see doll abuse as modding it, or as touching the resin with bare skin (due to the oils). Generally I take a lot of care of my dolls, though I will admit with my first one that I wasn't sure what I was doing. I find yellowing and amateurish damages (from under-researched face-ups/mods) to be generally ignorant but I wouldn't call that mistreatment or abuse. I mean, if you pay for it, you can do whatever you want with it. It's a difference in approach, I think.

 

As some said here, dolls are objects. Even if we don't "see" them in that way. They are.

So it comes down to the one responsible for its care and appearance to decide what to do with it.
In my conception, a mistreat would be carelessly and repeatedly damaging the doll resin and/or accesories. I'm strongly attached to all my dolls, but they *are* a sort of investment. I would never allow them to get damaged for lack of care or attention.
^^;
Still, you can't barge inside someone's home and lecture them about letting their dolls fall many many times or such. You can if you are close to such a person. However, if they don't understand the value of their money, well...

 

Like a thousand others have said before, "abuse" of an inanimate object is far different than abusing a living creature. On the other hand, I understand the concept you were trying to get across.
In my opinion, I don't think it's necessary to go to either extreme--outrageously over protective or neglectful. Prior to purchasing my first doll, I remember seeing site after site that basically said to treat them as if they're the absolute most fragile thing in the world. Now I'm not saying I would ever throw mine across the room or anything like that, but I'm not going to lock him away and never touch him either. I think if you spend $__ on something like a BJD, you have a right to "play" with them: ie. photographing them, posing them to draw from, letting them sit in the open every now, etc. If I wanted to lock $600 away in a box, I'd just throw it in a box and never look at it again. Same as if I wanted to toss it out a window, I'd do that too. But again, that's just my opinion.

 

To an extent I can agree with this statement. To an extent.
Mistreating an item, lets face it, will occur naturally no matter the circumstances. But to the extent is the difference. If it's something cheap, I suppose no one really bats an eye and says 'Well I could always just get another one.' But with the issues regarding the more expensive dolls, it may be harder to get another, but basically it comes down to it do I care about how much money I put into this, or do I just act all willy-nilly?

I find it outrageous that some owners have almost total disregard for the dolls, because personally I think if you have that kind of money to just toss aside I think you ought to help some of us out here XD

But there are people who are overly protective of their dolls as well. Neither is a good or probably very healthy way to go about life, and more often than not there will most likely be some kind of underlying problem and I'm grateful it's on an inamiate object and not something living for this to affect

There are limits to behavior and actions, and to a degree a form of 'respect' for your posessions, that no direct line is drawn but we mostly understand it naturally. It boils down to no, the dolls are not capable of recognizing it but you are capable of being very negligent, and as it has been mentioned, ignorant. And if you seriously have that kind of money to throw away, seriously hook me up! XD

 

I have my few "special" dolls that even I don't handle very much. But for the rest on them, I let my children play with them occasionally. I don't think that people can learn to love things if they only see them in the distance or are contiually told not to touch or play with them. I want my children to love the dolls as much as I do and to learn to treat them respectfully.

 

I think it really depends on how much you like your dolls. If I really like it, I would take good care of it. Some people might just buy it for fun, I think that is why some doll is treated with a little care. Also, if it is something easy to get and not a big deal for the owner, there is a much higher possibility that the doll is going to be mistreated a little bit. (no offense to anyone)

 

I think that since some people abuse themselves, it's not so hard to imagine that they can abuse their belongings as well. Dolls which psychologically can be a representation of an inner self would be very easy to first create as a self and then destroy as the reality and the fantasy collide. So yes, I think that there are some people that mistreat their dolls. It also stands to enter into the argument that since the doll is both inanimate and something one purchases, is it not the owners property then to do with it as they wish?

 

For the grandmother doll situation... maybe invite her girl over to have tea with your girls, engage in an activity that can be dollified that Grandma likes. I haven't an idea as I am grandparentless. I can imagine asking Grandma to tell me about her youth and maybe recreating outfits based upon her glory days to maybe make her take to the doll a bit more. Also if Grandma is a crafter, ask her to make something for your doll and then put it on her doll and say ohhh I need another one, I want them to be twins... just a few ideas, hope one of them works.

 

I don't think you can mistreat your dolls, but I do believe that you can mistreat other people's dolls. Since you have your own ideas of how to treat your dolls, you wouldn't abuse your own, but if someone else's idea was different, you would perhaps not be careful enough with them and they would see it as you mistreating their doll.

Personally I have no issue with other people handling my dolls, as long as they don't actually smash or crack them, I'm not too bothered about a little scuff or bit of dirt, dolls are to be loved and used, not sat and avoided. (I do take good care of my dolls, I don't want to sound like a bad or ungrateful owner, I just don't mind them being handled etc.)