Do you believe that some owners mistreat their dolls?

Dirt cleans off. Really easily. I take my boy places where I know he might get dirty because I think five minutes with a magic eraser later is worth the enjoyment I'll get out of taking him wherever it is that's so grubby. I don't think that's mistreatment. Just because I'm technically not a child it doesn't mean I need to grow up and stop taking him fun places or messing about with him. =/

When judging whether someone is mistreating a doll or not I think it's important to consider their intentions. If they're rolling it in the dirt because they're... I don't know, feeling angry and destructive or something like that then yeah, that might be mistreatment. But that's a world away from me taking my boy out for a trek in the (admittedly dirty) woods one afternoon because I like being with him and want to enjoy his presence. The end result might be similar, but the attitudes behind the actions that led to it are completely different.

 

I'm sure some people don't give their dolls the love they deserve.
Just like some people neglect their pets, friends, family, etc.

A good doll owner, however, knows when they are neglecting a doll, and will put it up for sale (so I have learned). I can't remember how many times I have seen a seller's reasoning as 'I just haven't been able to bond with her, I want her to have a better home where she is loved', or the like. I think that's really admirable.

 

I don't think the neglect of living things like pets, friends & family - you know things that have emotions and can die or suffer - can remotely be compared to the love we have for our "things".

 

I ment more of letting one specific doll sit in the corner and gather dust while they spend time with all of the others.

It'd make me a little sad, lol.

 

Well it might make you a little sad, but I guarantee you - the doll isn't going to care.

 

But see thats the things, *you* dont think the doll doesnt care, others, especially those with deep religious beliefs may think the dolls do care.
We can debate to death about living things and non living things, but it gets to deep.

Jird- Everyone will indeed have a different view on "dolly-buse", but mine would agree with you. Things get dirty! Even the most expensive things. So after a stroll in my (imaginary, tehee) 100,000$ car, it got mud and dirt on it, does that make me a car-buser? No. Why? Because I will clean and buff the heck out of that sucker soon as I get home. Now if I take it home, leave it dirty and let it accumulate every time I drive it, sand paper the car in attemt to remove the paint to redo it myself even though I dont have the correct tools or paint to do so, decide to hit a tree and leave the car in horrible condition, then use abrasive chemicals on it in attempt to fix it, and whine about how my poor car is all messed up, then yes, I definately mistreated my very expensive car.
Is it right or wrong? No one can assume the correct answer to that.
Was it the smartest thing to do? no...obviously.

Personally, I just think general mistreatment of dolls (leaving it dirty, using things you know is harmful to the material of the doll, throwing, soiling, with no intention of cleaning ect.) would be considered "abuse". My image of dolly-buse does not really reflect the kind of abuse generally done toward living things.

*Jen

 

We're not talking about anyone's personal dolls, we're talking about judging other people with regard to how they play with and/or treat their own dolls.

So what you are saying is that a person that doesn't believe the inanimate objects that they purchase have spirits, should be judged by people that have some sort of religious belief that involves the dolls having a spirit or soul and somehow are caring about what happens to them?

Wouldn't that be forcing your religious beliefs upon another person?

I think it's fine for people to believe in whatever speaks to them on a spiritual level, but I do not believe it's ever okay to push that on other people. To judge other people based on your set of beliefs nor to pressure them. In this case, put some sort of standards on doll care that revolve around your personal religious beliefs where dolls are concerned.

 

Once again, reread my post.
Not once did I try to push anything on anyone, I just posted my side of the *debate*. Your post (and others you've made previously) have very "matter of factly" tones to them, so dont preach to me about forcing beliefs/opinions on other people...
It seems everytime I post, you turn it into something else which I had not even mentioned *at all* . Just so you know, the word "judge" was not typed once in my post, nor do I assume or suggest anyone should be doing any judging.
All I ment to say was, you cant go around guarantee-ing things, and being very matter of factly about your personal opinion, because others may feel differently. And, it is an *opinion*, not fact. So you've got to be prepared for people who do not agree with what you say.
And just so ya know, I dont even have that religious belief, so how the heck would I force it on to you..?
And actually, it seems you are the only one talking about judging other people by the way they treat their doll(s). That is not the focus of this debate.

*Jen

 

from the original question ~ "Should people carry more respect for something that a lot of time, effort and money was put into?"

well... it's their own money, and often their own time and effort so... it's their doll. they can do whatever they want with it. sure, i see things sometimes and think "wow, i'd never do that with my dolls," but to each his own, right? after all, in the end, they are just material possessions.

i mean, there are people who do their dolls faceup with a sharpie marker (*cringe*) and there are people like my boyfriend who nearly have a stroke every time a hair on a wig gets bent. who's to judge what's wrong and right? i personally find both extremes strange, but that's just me.

 

Agreed.

No one is trying to press religion on anyone. This is not the place for such things, it can turn ugly really quick. It is, however, a place for sharing beliefs. Not in the "i think ____, so you're wrong" way. Everyone can learn from each other. That's how religions make their way across the world, no?

Things are how/what you perceive them in my opinion. It's the same in my opinion as how a mother can get teared up at those commercials showing homeless children in Yugokenuzbekapalistanslavia.

I have not experienced what it's like to love a child and so I couldn't care less. But when it comes to something I truly love, I become emotionally effected. I can't bring myself to throw away my paintings because I put my heart into them, and I hate to see people disregard their own art work. I imagine it would be the same for someone who deeply enjoys BJDs.

Everyone's different, so everyone has a different opinion and reasoning behind it. No reason to think anyone is judging anyone by saying "you're wrong, that's stupid, blah"

 

while I'm not entirely careful with where i put things, in that I leave them in odd places, I have a good memeory for where they are, and never bump them off.

Some people, however, are terrible- if it's not under lock and key, or, ideally, bolted to the shelf behind inch-thick glass, they will contrive a way to pick it up wrong, waggle it about upside down, or step on it
Particularly if they're wealthy. Poor people are almost invariably more respectful of things, since they can't 'just get a new one' :P
More particularly if it's something which is blatantly obvious it shouldn't be waggled

This applies to all things that 'normal people' don't use, not just dolls, but also paint, art, machines ( steampunk is one of my interests, heh) OR stuff that they use, but only for mundane purposes, so think that your one is probably for the same use, and with as little emotional attachment, and not much more expensive than thiers - hence likening your $800 hand-crafted doll to their daughters $8 barbie doll
(a computer is a good example of this phenomenon, where the person who is most likely to do damage is the most likely to 'want a go'- in my experience, the guy who helped build your computer is more likely to ask if you mind them using it than the friend who wants to install AIM so she can use it, LOL)

heh, i knew someone like that, one of those 'friend of a friend who is under the impression they are -your- friend' She wanted to bring her child over 'since I hadn't met him yet' .

the first thing out of my mouth was 'my place isn't really safe to have children in' -
she said 'oh, we can clean away all that stuff so he can't hurt himself'
I said, without thinking 'oh, I wasn't worried about him, I was worried that he might touch some of it'

*grins* this led into an argument about how 'callous' i was not to rearrange my entire house so as to make it impossible for clumsy uninvited people and their children to break or touch anything
She was one of the "it's just a.." types- as in 'it's just a little dent' (on something that used $30 of materials, and 40 or more hours... and I told her not to touch >_< )

:P needless to say, she finally stopped bothering me after that - she was terrible for other stuff, too (annoying me while I was working from home was her worst trait - it's very hard to convince some people you'd rather earn your rent rather than make them a cup of tea )

 

Title of the thread: Do you believe that some owners mistreat their dolls?

I think you are purposely trying NOT to see the point I am making. This whole discussion is about "judging" what do you think calling people "dolly abusers/neglectors" or people mistreating their dolls based on your ideals is? Look at the title of the thread - it's a judgement. Saying people play with their dolls wrong or use them for purposes other than what you think they are intended for - is a judgement of that person/doll owner.

How you are unable to see that is beyond me and if it's not your religious belief then why bring it up? It's a strawman argument. Basically you are just pulling an argument out of thin air because I said an inaminate object isn't going to care whether you play with it or not. Now if you believe your dolls do, that's fine - BUT pushing that belief upon others and calling them "dolly neglectors" because they aren't worried about their dolls feeling neglected most certainly is a judgement.

My primary point about this whole thing is that it certainly is NOT for any of us to judge how someone should or should not play with the doll they purchased.

Try addressing the actual argument rather than trying to focus on a comment you didn't like, avoiding the main point.

 

I think you're a bit too quick to bite, my friend. She never attempted to start an argument, she simply brought up a point that SOME PEOPLE might believe that way. She didn't try to convert you or anything stupid like that. She doesn't have to personally believe that way;it's called being open minded, as well as fair. It was also quite within topic, she wasn't just victimizing you. You should stop making judgements on people.

If you dislike the topic of the thread because it's based around "judging" people, no one is making you post. But that's life. The imaginary world where no one makes judgements on others and everyone agrees with each other does not exist and never will unless the human population is replaced with machines.


Jasminc oh god, I know a girl like that..she's my friend's friend that ever since I met her at my friend's birthday party, she thinks WE'RE friends. She also went to my boyfriend's house when he was having me and a few of his friends over and actually had the nerve to start digging around in his kitchen for food when she had never been there. And he and his family have an... above average house, with stuff they've collected from all the countries they've been; stuff that SHOULDN'T be touched or broken. She proceeded to give herself a tour through the house and even went through his books in his bedroom. I can just see her having a kid and showing up at my house again and going "aw such a pretty doll! can he/she play with him?"

 

This is probably silly but isn't this topic asking specifically "What do you believe?" So I see no reason why one person should even be arguing with the other person's beliefs if it doesn't match their ideal. But I'm still scared of this forum so I'm not going into that ^_^;

On topic, I don't think people should even bother judging how other people treat their dolls. It's nature, yes, but its their property. They put money into it and at that point its their choice how they treat it. Yes, some people don't take as good as care as others but isn't that true in almost everything? People are different and won't treat dolls the same but it is their dolls, not ours.

 

Okay, people can, and do, misuse and mistreat dolls, but we shouldn't care about other people because it's their property.

I guess that's the consensus?

Let me just say you can't change how people feel, and there will always be people who will cringe at a sharpie face-up or feel anger when, at a doll meet, someone flings their doll across the room. So, people will be people, not everyone will reach that perfect state of "minding their own business", "being open-minded and accepting", and "not caring what people do with their money". Mostly because they might know how hard it is to work for your money and spend it on something precious to you, and someone else is taking it all for granted.

=_=

 

Personally if someone told me i mistreated my doll if i left it in the corner i'd give them a few pretty words back. Now for me dolls dont get tired, hungry,thirty,happy,sad or lonely because there not alive, it doesnt breath so it cant die because its not alive. So if i leave it alone in a corner its not mistreating it, like i'm not mistreating my dvds or teddies if i dont touch them. Me myself i dont think people can mistreat their belongs, maybe do things i wouldnt but not mistreat. If they so choose to do what they want its up to them. I only think the word "mistreating" can be applied to living breathing things, just my views nothing more nothing less.

 

Uhh, hold up there, where did I say that I didn't like the topic or that I feel the world is some imagination land without judgement, or that I'm being victimized? That's a bit over the top.

I'm frustrated, to be sure, that people feel they are entitled to tell others what to do with their dolls, but that's where it ends. I think it's a good topic to discuss, because I think it demonstrates imo another level of doll-snobbery. But like you said we're humans, we can pretty much rationalize everything with that gem.

I guess I'm a libertarian (little "l") at heart and really feel very strongly about people's rights with regard to their own property. Apparently some feel strongly about uhh....dolly rights, so we'll just have to agree to disagree on that one and I'll stop beating my drum on it.

 

And you still refuse to see the true point, if you dont want a solid debate then keep beatin', you seem to like the sound of your music best anyway.
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Personally, I think no one has the right to accuse someone of mistreating their dolls, or any other belonging for that matter. It boils down to the "its theirs they can do whatever the heck they want with it" thing.
But just because no one should accuse people of doing something doesnt make it imaginary.
I feel misuing/abusing/mistreating any expensive item is not the best choice to make, but if it makes you happy, I am glad you are enjoying yourself!

*Jen

 

Actually everyone likes the sound of their own music best or they probably wouldn't post their opinions nor debate.

Who's not seeing the main point? This what I've been saying all along.

 

Actually, some people enter a debate to learn from others' perspectives, not just to deny everyone else's opinions.

And the way you complained about the topic being surrounded around judging doll owners and the griping about people pushing their beliefs on you DID in fact suggest that you disliked the topic, or maybe the general concept of people not agreeing with you.

However, I hold respect for your use of the term "agree to disagree" in your other post, so this will be my last words on the matter since it has gone completely off topic.