Do you feel alone in the hobby? (even with the forum)

I'm one of those people who's been weird for years (wayyyy before BJDs) - wrote letters to save the original Star Trek, etc. I also am pretty socially adept (although there are lots of times I just want to chill & be by myself). So, I've just roped all my friends into looking at my dolls Some think they are creepy, some love them, some don't care - but they all get to see at least one pic of my new dolls. Plus I take dolls to random events. I am lucky in that 2 of my friends here are doll collectors (not BJDs but dolls/puppets) & there is an active MeetUp group in this area so we meet every 2-3 months.
I'm a big geek, into anime, SF, Kdramas, Tolkien, blah blah - so I am a member of several meet-up geeky groups - so not so lonely LOL

 

I know there are BJD people in my area because I can see that from a casual glance at user stats on here but the meetups all seem to be in the middle of the state and way up at the top of the state, never here. I never see anything about meetups here on here or elsewhere. The one other person who lives here that I know from on here admits she goes several hours out of town to meets. I've also seen other people I don't know as well mentioning they do also. I just can't do that. So yeah, it gets a bit lonely for me mostly because I know there are people here and they're just not available for me to socialize with.

I've actually tried to organize a local meet up several times. Put ads up in places the local doll people would likely see them. The few people that got in touch all made excuses as to why they couldn't be available to actually meet up here locally despite their supposed interest. They all live in the same city as me and yet they just can't commit to even meeting for a slice of pizza and some doll talk once in a while. I could never get anyone to commit to a meetup that didn't involve me driving for 2-3 hours somewhere else to a meetup situation that was already going on and had been for some time. Since the whole point was establishing something local it was rather frustrating to realize that people would rather drive all that way then even try to create a local doll club with me. I finally just gave it up.

I actually moved back here from the west coast a couple of years ago for family reasons. I can't move back yet but one of the reasons I want to go back someday is the fact that there are active doll people and convenient meetups where I want to live. Next time I move and settle somewhere it will be somewhere like that. If not there, than somewhere else with the kinds of social groups I want to be a part of.

Living here has just totally sucked in terms of that for me. Social stuff in general sucks. The only social interaction I get down here is hanging with the few friends I've known since I was 10 and going to yoga, and even then no one socializes much after yoga even though the place I take yoga at has a cafe/bookstore where people are encouraged to gather and do that. The two photo clubs I used to belong to, same thing. It's all about that one hour and no one hangs afterwards. I joined to meet other photography obsessed people, maybe make some new friends, but it did me little good in terms of having a social life and I finally gave it up this year.

Part of it I think is that I live in a rather conservative state am straight and not married at an age when almost everyone else is. People don't do much in terms of socializing except go to church related gatherings or sports bars and I'm not really into either crowd. I'm not religious nor much of a drinker and on top of that I'm single which apparently makes most married women I've met here a bit leery of hanging out with me. I'm not safely coupled, and here that's not something people locally are too comfortable with. Also, adult woman playing with dolls? That's a very weird thing to people here, unless they're doing it themselves or they are over 70 when it's seen as more of a safe old ladies hobby and a bit more acceptable. It doesn't matter that they're expensive collector's dolls. It's still considered pretty weird.

Back when I lived out there I wasn't into BJD's and there wasn't much interest in terms of the other dolls I collect so I didn't go. But now there are BJD meetups all over the place out there and I think it would be very different since I am into BJD's myself now. I'm ready to move back in a big way, but unfortunately that just can't be so I'm going to be stuck doing this on my own for a while yet. I really look forward to moving to some big city where BJD meetups are a normal part of life though. It's just too boring being about the only person I know with BJD's here...

 

I don't have any in person friends.. doll friends or otherwise...just my husband and daughters. My older daughter thinks I'm weird and the younger likes them but is horse crazy so she will probably never join the hobby. Luckily I don't mind enjoying them alone. I would probably be too chicken to go to a meet anyway. There are sometimes meets in Charlotte but I have never been brave enough to go.

 

You are near Denver right?
I moved to CO a few years ago and just seem to have the hardest time clicking with people here! While I've been collecting BJD and a few other things a while, since I moved here I've just like exploded with collecting other things like MLP, and other toy line stuff. I know I do it a lot out of boredom. I think it's interesting you feel you don't connect because of the "city" mentality here because I consider myself a city person and this whole state just feels like an enormous suburb to me (yes even the downtown areas) spotted with empty fields of nothingness.

*My apologies to anyone who loves this state, I know a lot of you who live here think it's amazing, but I just fail to see the charm.

But specifically on the topic of feeling alone in the BJD hobby. I've never felt alone geographically. Every place I've lived in so far has had a pretty decent BJD community. I only ever feel alone sometimes in the type of collector I am. I don't do the whole character thing. I don't name my dolls. They don't have stories or developed personalities. I adore them. I enjoy buying them pretty things to wear. That's about it. I feel like my style of BJD collecting is not that common.

 

besides online i dont know anyone in my real life who is into it so yeah i can relate, if i moved away to a larger place then maybe but where i am there is no scene here for this type of thing.

also like how Nell mentioned above, i dont do background stories or characters, even doing names is something i loathe, lol, but i love buying cool stuff like clothes and wigs and enjoy taking photos because they're pretty.

i am friends with a local b&w film photographers group and i did consider bringing one along to be photographed, i still might, it may be a way to get some interest, inanimate objects is something they do on a regular basis and im pretty sure not a single one of them would have ever seen a bjd before.

 

No, I do not feel lonely! I have several friends who love BJD. And, most importantly, my girlfriend loves BJD and fully supports me! =)

 

I guess I'm not so alone in feeling alone, lol.
True there are meetups in my local area, but yep, I'm a chicken, so just the thought of going to one makes me hyperventilate. I do have online bjd friends who live on the East Coast, and boy, I sure wish I could actually meet them in person as they are wonderful. Still, I would love to meet someone local. Anything is possible!

 

I know there's several meetup groups in my area, and I've seen quite a few threads get set up here on DoA... nevertheless, I've never gone to any of them (I'm excited for my first meet around the end of June, but I'm still kinda terrified) and I get what you're saying about being lonely. Actually, I feel pretty lonely online, too - a lot of people on Tumblr/DoA/other sites seem to be really close and have friends they talk to about BJDs, but I don't really have anyone like that. @.@ I mean, my boyfriend and my parents and my roommate will listen if I talk to them about anything, and my boyfriend/my parents even help me with doing stuff sometimes like restringing and troubleshooting with clothes. But, it's just not the same as having that one good dolly friend, at least that's the feeling that I get from seeing all those posts.

Well, hopefully that will change soon, and I hope things change for you too! Hang in there!

 

No one that I know in RL even knew of the existence of BJD, let alone are interested in them. But I'm fine with that. I've only seen one person from my country on DoA so far though, and she doesn't seem to be active anymore. :<
My brother thinks it's creepy, and my parents have outright told me that they're worried I'm becoming a freak. So that all kinda sucks, but I'm still hopeful that they'll come around once they understand that there's a creative part to this hobby, which is what attracted me and they've all been very supportive of my creative outlets in the past.

 

No, Years ago on another forum I used to chat with a few girls we then started a facebook group so we could group chat. 3 years later we still talk nearly everyday and although we are located all over Australia and the USA we actually met up in Sydney last year.

 

Most of the people I know that see my dolls for the first time think they are really beautiful. I don't carry my dolls around or actively make sure they know about them. They see them when they come to my home. I have them in various rooms, so I can enjoy them. I like making things for them when I have the time, and I used to love to photograph them, again when I have time.

If you like your dolls, that's the only thing that matters. I don't think dolls (any object/ hobby) should be the focus of your life, and therefor you shouldn't be lonely if you put all things into prospective. Hobbies are fun, and if you can share them that's always a plus. You are welcome to share all you want on this forum.

 

I sometimes feel a little alone. But going to doll meetups has definitely helped me. I also got one of my friends into dolls, (and she's my best friend, too... and always blames me for why she's broke all the time. *siiiigh*) so it isn't so bad. But sometimes I sit in my room and wonder what it would be like if I could have more friends close by that were into dolls. Needless to say, it's one of the reasons I'm so excited for Dollism. An entire weekend full of dolly friends and dolls! lol

 

I don't have any in-person doll friends, however my family asks questions about them and my fiancé is wonderful when it comes to my hobbies. He tries to take an interest and help me pick out clothes, eyes, dolls, etc. I suppose sometimes it feels a little lonely since I don't have anyone to meet with that also collects BJDs/dolls, but I don't mind it. They give me something to do when my fiancé is working weird hours or weekends and they facilitate my photography, drawing, and writing.

 

I was pretty lonely... until my girlfriend moved in with me. She loves dolls too, so it's great having someone to talk and gush about them with. Plus she helps me make clothes for them, which is awesome since I am horrible at sewing.

 

Yeah, its pretty lonely for me. Its a downer when I get excited about an event or new/limited release and no one in my family really cares. Im going to my first doll meet this month so im optimistic. Its hard explaining to people why a guy would be interested in a bjd.

 

I've always been a bit of a loner so it isn't a big deal that no one else around me is into the hobby.
Although I like going on DoA and just chat, since it isn't as stressful as dealing with people face to face.
I like doing my own stuff, whether it be looking for doll-sized things, making stuff for them or photographing them.
So I guess this hobby really is perfect for me, I can enjoy it by myself.

Though every now and then I'll take my doll home and show them to my family who do become fascinated with them just coz it's something new.
I've had a family member comment that they weren't surprised I'm into stuff like this coz it really suited me. I took that as a compliment.

Also, my mum likes going to conventions. You know, food, electronics, computers, toys. She loves checking out weird and new stuff. So taking her to a doll convention was no biggy. OH...and she refuses to leave until the lottery is over.

 

I have never met another person in real life interested in BJDs...never so it's been pretty lonely.... Even in this forum where everyone has the same love for BJDS, I just don't connect with anyone and never have made a friend in here so I come here just to read information, see other people's dolls but never to socialize...guess I will always be alone in this hobby but it is what it is.

 

I feel pretty lonely in this hobby, I don't really know anyone in the hobby and everyone I seem to meets is quiet a bit older than me which is somewhat intimidating. And it doesn't help I'm to scared to approach people because I'm shy. But my dolls do help with the lonely feeling and i do have a non-dolly friend who supports me ouo

 

I do feel lonely at times but I know part of that is my fault! I've never been great at initiating conversations (but once you get me going I can talk!) and never want to try and talk to someone before they talk to me. So I realize that part of my problem stems from my just being...well me!
I am working on it though, and hope to start doing youtube videos someday [we will see!].
Good luck everyone, just know that there are plenty of people out there looking for support and friendship that may be shy! There are some GREAT people in this hobby!

 

All the time.
I can't seem to really connect to people in this hobby. I'm busy, so I have limited time for hobby related things, so maybe that's hurting me as well. I feel disconnected from everything. The only friend I have who owns a doll is a long term penpal. They started out in Memphis and the first time we ever saw one another was when they flew up to visit me and brought their little soom doll along! I will never forget that. We were both beginners in the Hobby and had never been able to interact with other owners before. Now they have moved and moved again, this time out to CA and they are less into the hobby. So once again I am rather friendless.

None of my friends are that into it. I'm shy about it as dolls don't seem to suit me so well, and everyone is shocked that I have them. Most friends just stick to 'it's good that it makes you happy', shake their heads and smile politely.

One of these days I plan on going to one of the NYC montly meetups as those are within my means, but I will be bringing a friend (who is a figure collector so at least she's interested) for support.

I don't have high hopes, though.

For now I just sort of make do with reading on the forums and watching BJD prompt videos on youtube.

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