Do you feel alone in the hobby? (even with the forum)

I feel alone but not lonely. The closest person I know of that also likes ball-jointed dolls is in Atlanta, and since I live in Missouri and money is tight, meeting is pretty much out of the question. I've spent most of my life doing things alone or with my family, so having no close dolly friends is no big deal.

 

I also agree, its pretty difficult to make friends on this forum when you don't have the popular dolls. It used to bother me,especially when your questions go unanswered or met with sarcastic replies.

 

I feel lonely myself when it comes to BJD. My friend at the time convinced me to order one and promised to help me. Unfortunately there was a really bad falling out and I'm kinda left alone trying to figure everything out. I'm trying to find people in my area who are interested, but I have huugggee anxiety issues which get in the way. @_@

 

yes. in real life i don't have any friends who collect dolls, so trying to make them understand the expense and overall collecting of bjd is ridiculous lol

 

I kind of feel alone yes. I think it's mostly because I hardly ever feel actually part of groups and because when I went out at meets, being an introvert, it was a bit of a hard time after a while. I mean, I loved being there, loved the air and stuff I saw. But going alone and being as I am, I ended up not talking to anyone. :c I wish it was easier to me. >^<

 

I feel like in germany there are nearly no bjd colectors -.- .......
And I had bad experience in the german comunity.....

 

Oh, my feelings are conflicted.
I've made one good friend on DoA, who chats to me daily on Skype for hours on end! We have a lovely time But outside of her, it does get very lonely...
I'm from South Africa (moving to Finland come August/September) and no one close to me (of even further from me in South Africa) knows of BJDs, I've found NOTHING online about South African enthusiasts (so far I seem to be the first, pioneering haha) but yeah, and to make matters worse, I live in a rural town! I was so close to introducing an fellow craft lover to the hobby but then she all but gave up her hobby in order to be a school teacher. Tough times for artists here, she's the second one I know to almost give up her passion in order to simply make a living.
I'm hoping I can meet BJD collectors in Finland but I'm mostly worried language will be a big barrier for me (still learning Finnish). But so far, it seems even if I do, it'll be unlikely just because of where I'll be living in Finland. It would be nice to know someone in the same town that I will actually get along with!

 

Not really. Luckily BJDs have a great online community and that's enough for me atm. I have always liked things that weren't always popular so I'm used to it. Having people on the internet to which I can talk about it and learn from has always been a blessing. Sure it would be nice to meet people in RL but I wouldn't bring my doll around in any case. What I really miss is a convention of sorts. There are a few in Rome as I recently found out and I hope I'll be able to go in the future.

 

Online forums and other places to share my dolls help tremendously with the feelings of loneliness. It's not that I'm wanting for company really, as my partners provide plenty, but I don't have anyone who really gets/is interested in dolls to talk to in person. Plus, I live far away from Vegas, which is the only place in my state that gets any doll conventions/meets (if they even DO happen). So, it's quite isolating at times! I'm thankful for the internet.

 

A little bit! I know I'm not the only one in my area, there was a meetup here a few years back (before I was here). I have a friend online who's willing to put up with the odd photo, but I'm new enough to my area that I don't really have friends who aren't interested in dolls--let alone ones who are! C'est la vie.

 

Yes very!! All the time, which is probably why it took me so long to finally decide/realize that I should order my doll. I havn't been very active on the forums at all...(until I ordered my dollys a couple of days ago) so I don't have a lot of friends on the forum. In addition all my closed friends in real life either finds bjds super creepy (I don't understand why) or can't understand why I'm willing to spend so much on a doll.

It really gets to me sometimes because I really want someone to share the excitement of getting a dolly of planning on how to do her face up on designing clothing she would wear...etc

 

Yes! I have no one in offline to talk about my dolls. Most people find it "creepy" so I don't really talk to them about my dolls. I can talk to my mom but she usually just likes saying how pretty they are, which is at least something. I wish I had more of the online doll community near me so I could make some friends who share the interest.

 

I do feel lonely in the hobby sometimes. My instagram helps me a little bit.
As I can connect with people all over the world.
But I don't have anyone where I live. I used to have a friend, but differences brought us apart.
So I'm left to my lonesome. I do have a couple people I can talk to.
But I get so uninspired sometimes. And it leaves me not wanting to really talk to anyone.
But I'm trying to be more active this year. Not only on instagram but Youtube as well.
Maybe being activer here too will spark something. Here's to trying.
Oh, and if anyone's in the Central FL area. I'd love to meet you! C:

 

I feel exactly the same with the french comunity :/

 

Same here. I don't really have anyone around me who is into BJDs. They do find it weird. I don't like mentioning the cost to my house mates because I worry about them thinking I splurge random sums of money on things outside what is considered 'normal'.

It's even hard for me to find people doing meet ups. I went to two a few years back and really enjoyed them

 

Admittedly...yes. Yes, I do.

I feel lonesome in real life in general. I have people supporting me, but I often do feel isolated. I often try to put on a face when I'm online, whether on here or on other sites. But that's what it pretty much is...a facade.

I'm not the best with social media, and I struggle with a lot of self-related issues. I often worry (too much sometimes) that I say (post) things that tick people off, or cause some kind of negative outcome. Or I feel like I'm just not good enough. I've tried getting more involved on tumblr, discord, and some other sites involved in the bjd community, but my anxiety always gets the best of me and I have to pull myself back to keep from becoming too overwhelmed. On top of the anxiety, I also deal with depression and autism.

I know a lot of people on the spectrum feel like communicating online is easier for them, but I've always felt the opposite. I try connecting with people, but I often feel like people find I'm overbearing, annoying or a pain, and therefore don't want me around. It's a horrible feeling, and an awfully lonely one. I hate struggling with feeling like an outsider wherever I am, or like a freak.

It's been especially hard since I dealt with a really toxic friendship. I have a hard time trusting people, and sharing a lot about myself, or regretting sharing some info after the fact. I'm afraid of being judged, being hurt. Even within the bjd community. My brain has become such a quagmire, and I really wish I could shake this feeling, this misconception.

Also, a lot of the time I feel like I'm just meant to be alone. I'm just meant to be a background fixture, and nothing more.

To anyone reading this, I apologize for this. I just...needed to get this out.

 

Unfortunately, I think the feeling of being alone and judged is way too common in our world, even many people who come across as confident and secure are wearing masks to protect themselves from these feelings. I am a lot older than a lot of the users on this site and have struggled with insecurities, shyness, and toxic relationships most of my life. I am only recently realizing that I am okay with who I am and won't let other people's judgements and attitudes change how I react and feel about myself.

Social media is new to me and does not come as naturally as I think it does for a lot of people in the younger generations and I am constantly asking my son "is this okay?" "will anyone be upset if I write this?", but in general I find that most people are supportive, helpful and interesting.

Overcoming these feelings of not being good enough and being different is a long process, but one thing that I have found helpful is - consider the source. I have a couple of co-workers who always come across as very judgemental and treat me differently because I am not one of the in crowd, but since I have realized that they are fighting with their own insecurities and that their attitudes are a reflection of this, I can see that the issue lies with them, not me and react differently to them which in turn is changing their attitude toward me.

Working at a university, I see many many students every day who are obviously struggling too. Believe me, you really are not alone, I know that does not solve anything but please try to keep it in mind. We are struggling together and I hope we can continue to learn to support one another regardless of our differences. None of us are less important than anyone else, we all have an important role to play.

Sorry for the ramble, but this is a topic I feel very strongly about.

As far as the original question, yes, I sometimes feel alone in the hobby. I am lucky that my son is also involved, but as far as I know there is no one else in our city so its just the two of us and any friends or co-workers that know of my hobby think it's weird, childish and a waste of money. I am really enjoying having a site like this where you can share your experiences and and enjoyment!

 

@jade-eyed-cat
I actually very much relate to these feelings you hold. I don't think you should feel you must apologize for sharing them either. It's good to get your feeling out and too often we all hold them in... That can really hurt us, because not voicing and accepting our feelings is the same as not accepting ourselves.

I actually have been part of social media for many years. I did live during a time where it wasn't really around, but since high school I have spent most of my life online. I'm shy and I don't really like to go out very much, so online became my main form of communication and largely my only connection to the world around me. Still, the constant worry of bothering others or being put down for what I say is there every moment. A lot of this comes from the fact that in real life and online I have run in to many relationships that where toxic. It hurts and I still find it near impossible to trust anyone. I likely will always only hold a few people close because of this, I find it hard to imagine allowing more in... I'm too scared of what has already happened just repeating.

As for feeling like others are judging you, the best thing to do is realize that when people judge others it's always coming from their own self doubt. The more insecure someone is the more they judge and put down others. It's not you that they are down on, even if that's the way it comes out. They simply struggle to accept themselves and in turn try to knock others down in their mind so they can feel better about themselves. It's a form of running away from the problems they don't want to face and instead of pushing that dislike upon themselves they burden others with that pain instead.

Almost everyone in this world is struggling. We all have our doubts and most of us worry about how others view us... some people show it by turning the pain toward others, some turn that pain inward, others beat it out with exercise or hard work, we all deal with it in different ways... but their are very few people in this wold that don't feel judged, that don't worry constantly about what others think. Even the most confident people dress up and try to look good to those around them, they do that because they too feel scared, worried of being left out or not accepted.

If we could all just accept that we are all human and we all share the same feelings... if we all just allowed ourselves to be who we naturally are and accepted that we are ok that way... I don't think anyone would judge or question others... it's simply because they are not happy with who they are, that's the only reason this happens. Anyone else is too busy worrying about how other people view them to even think for a moment about how you appear to them.

it is hard, even when you have others around you in the same hobby you can often feel left out if you hold on to these thoughts too closely... but if you try and remember that most people feel the same way it can lessen that weight.

 

I feel alone. Not even wanting a friend that's local or anything. I'd just like to talk to people in the hobby more. I've been thinking about making an instagram, but I don't know how to use it well and I kind of want to avoid any sort of drama. Plus I don't feel like anyone would like my dolls.

 

This! I was thinking about this exact same thing. I don't really have anyone to talk with about the hobby. Hubby listens, and my other online friends from different hobbies politely listen but that's about it. I use social media for one hobby, and I find it sorta easy to interact there - I think because there is less emphasis on picture perfect photography skills (which I lack). I tried to be more active for my BJDs (on Instagram) but...it's difficult when I find difficulties taking pictures - there's never enough light, space, backgrounds, or props. Anyways that's a different story.

But yup, most days it feels like it's just me and my two dolls (and too many floating heads) out in the world. Hmm this has sparked an idea!