Do you feel distant from other people's dolls?

This is a super interesting topic, and I'm really curious to see what other people who are more experienced in doll meets have to say on it.
I personally have not been to a doll meet and I have only ever met one doll person in real life. That being said; When I saw her doll I actually felt incredibly excited, he was as beautiful as his pictures on Instagram. The only "distance" that I felt towards him (or even potentially towards HER) was due to respect for her as a collector and him as an item of value. Because I know that there are different personalities in collecting, I tend to step on the side of caution when approaching verses reaching for someone's precious doll. But on the contrast, I am very open with my dolls and handed her my doll's head without hesitation because I know that she is a collector and I trust she wouldn't intentionally do harm.

With the feeling of warmth, I wonder if it would possibly be because you're not familiar with that doll? This is just a speculative thought. But if your best friend had a doll, and you were around that doll on a semi-daily basis, would it change your feelings towards it? It might also be a sculpt preference, I tend to like SD sized dolls. It would naturally be HARDER for me to feel attached to a Yo-SD doll no matter how adorable it is. That doesn't mean that I don't love seeing pictures of them, especially paired with SD sizes.

Anyway, I feel like that was just a bunch of rambling. But yes, I can empathize with the feeling?

 

I think I can see what you mean. Me and partner both collect dolls but have two very separate collections. I think we can both agree that despite seeing each other's dolls on a regular basis, I don't have the same connection to his collection as I have with mine, and vice versa. I like his dolls, I think they're pretty, but they don't spark that same sense of inspiration in me that my own dolls do. I don't think that there's a lot of crossover between our collections for that reason.

In general, this is a very personal hobby - what makes a doll click with one person may not with another and there's a lot more to a doll than just being pretty. I think most dolls are pretty, if not beautiful, but a lot of the time, there needs to be a certain spark that I see in a sculpt that drives me to actually add it to my collection.

 

Ooo, Interesting!
I had to think about this one a bit. I joined this hobby mid-last year, so no doll meets. I collect other dolls but those collections are beloved childhood toys and are not fixed up or made for customizing the way ball jointed dolls are. I don't expect to have a connection with other people's cherished things, respect them yes, connect to them no. But for me this hobby has really upended my assumptions about the lines between art, toys, and collectables.

 

I certainly hope your own dolls "spark joy" for you more than other people's dolls! People have very different tastes and there's so many different dolls out there. If your taste is my taste, you should probably message me some photos of your dolls because I want to see them.

Two of the girls in my local comm had the doll I had wanted for years. I saved every photo online of her and I printed out the company photos and I just wanted her so badly. But I saw their dolls and they did not live up to my expectations from the photos. They were pretty, but not what I what I thought they'd be. The company photographers were able to put life into the doll, but in real life, she was different. I'm sure that if I had bought her before seeing theirs, I would have grown attached to it still.

On the other hand, there have been dolls I've seen online that I just didn't think twice about, and when I saw them in person they completely blew me away! Once in a while, I'll meet someone who has a doll that I fall in love with (the doll not the person). It's happened a few times. Most of the time though, I either moderately like or just don't care much for peoples dolls. That's fine though! I'm glad they found dolls that fit their tastes!

The first BJD I ever saw in real life holds a special place in my heart. He's not a doll I would have picked out myself but if my friend were to decide to sell him someday I would seriously consider making her an offer. I love that doll and he absolutely "sparks joy" for me.

 

Well, after all, I see my dolls kinda like my "children" so seeing other people's dolls is kinda like forcing yourself to love another child that isn't yours. Of course, there are dolls that aren't mine and I admire them because of how they look, but nothing else. No special connection with them simply because that connection builds up with time and the energy you put into the doll.

 

For me, it depends entirely on the doll (and sometimes owner). If it's a doll with a character I love, I usually do feel a sense of bonding, whether it's because I roleplay with that character, or the doll is owned by a close friend who has told me their story, or because I follow them and they do a very good job portraying their doll's character. If the character or story doesn't interest me, I get that detached feeling, and just see them as a nice doll, but nothing more.

 

This is actually a well-studied phenomenon called "The Endowment Effect" (link is to wikipedia page)!
It basically means that we generally tend to value our own objects more than the objects of others. Hence why sometimes you'll see someone trying to sell their doll at a much higher price than anyone else would be willing to pay, lol!

Normally I do adore my dolls more than many others I see, but sometimes I'll see a super perfect doll on Instagram that makes me wish I owned it. So I don't think the Endowment Effect is a hard-and-fast rule.

 

When it comes to dolls you follow on insta, you watch them grow just like your own doll did. You learn about their 'personality' and fashion style, you watch them get faceups changed, you get excited over a new wig or eyes, you learn their background and storyline. It paints this fleshed out, personal expierence... even without ACTUALLY being personal.

Meanwhile, most of the time the dolls you see at doll meets are one or two of many dolls a collector may own, most likely not even the same dolls they brought the last time you saw that collector. You don't know their story, their growth, how many times their details have been changed. It's very sterile and impersonable.

Making friends with a collector, and learning about their dolls in more detail between meets, would most likely lead to you feeling excited to see that doll at the next meet. I know there are certain dolls (yes, the dolls themselves) in my local group that stick out to me that I always hope will be there.

 

Yeah it's just this. Only this.

 

When I first approached BJDs, I didn't like the general style of sculpting and thought they were creepy. The first doll that captured my heart turned out to be a scam, but handling her, looking at her joints, giving her a new face up, and setting in new eyes made me appreciate the design of real BJDs. Once I started learning more, it became easier to empathize with BJD sculpts that I previously rejected. I think I gravitate towards sculpts with sculpted emotion and nice face ups, though, the blank wide eyed ones still scare me.
It reminds me of when I was a kid I had a Woody doll from Toy Story and his wide eyes at night scared me half to death. I asked my parents if they could keep him in their room and they said no. So I shoved him into a box and tried to forget he was there. It probably didn't help that I thought he was alive because of Toy Story
I still find some BJDs creepy, but that depends on their style and size. If they are are very big and blank with wide eyes I feel very uncomfortable (harder to take down in a fight I guess). If the doll is smaller with a distinct expression and a lively face up, then I easily fall in love.

 

I personally have a hard time caring for or being invested into what others own and/or create, both when it comes to dolls or original characters.

I think kids are a good reference here. A lot of people like their kids, but can't stand/don't care for other people's kids or children in general.
In your eyes your child is always perfect (more or less), while others are just not doing it for you. And I realized this is pretty much true for "fictional" and pet children as well

I see this very heavily in artist circles.
It's extremely difficult to care for someone else's character, because neither do you have the emotional connection, nor is it very easy to like something that is 99% of the time just not your thing.
But of course the artist loves their creation! So you basically have a circle of people who generally love their own characters, and then pretty much force themselves to listen about other people's characters out of politeness in order to get a chance to do the same back to them. Rarely you have it that you really vibe with someone else's creation, are invested and really enjoy being info dumped about them.
And that's totally okay! Just normal that the thing that you made for yourself and is extremely tailored to your interests just feels better vs someone's thing that maybe feels a little cringe to you or just doesn't hit any of your spots.

Of course there are some dolls and characters I am attached to that aren't mine. Where I genuinely enjoy seeing them, or even got a little sad when the artist/owner retired them.
But those are few and far between, and even then it's usually just a visual attraction. I still don't care about their lore, details or being explained their whole background

I think realizing that, and being honest about that with yourself, really helps to navigate this whole situation more easily.
I have friends who are really heartbroken when people don't wanna be infodumped/aren't super invested in their creation. However, at the same time they too have little interest in what others create.
Doesn't mean anyone should be rude about that, but realizing "huh I only like my stuff, so it's okay when others only like their stuff too" would make things probably a lot easier for everyone involved.

 

Not really.

It's really one of those different reactions for different people situatuons. For me, it's like this:

My dolls have friends among my friends' dolls and interact with them so they're part of my dolls "lives," and even with dolls I'm not familiar with, I get a similar enjoyment out of seeing them in person and handling them that I do from seeing them online (moreso, sometimes, because I can often appreciate them better in person than in a picture).

There are many dolls that I can appreciate and admire far more in someone else's collection thn in mine - especially ones that wouldn't fit well with the dolls that appeal to me, yet I still apreciate the artistry of them and styling and character the owner has given them. eeing them in person gives me a chance to experience dolls that I wouldn't be tempted to buy, as wel as get a feel for ones that I might want to acqure at some point.

Teddy

 

I actually think pretty much any doll sparks some amount of joy in me, even if they are just kids toys or not at all my visual style. I don't have a ton of experience with other people's dolls in person at this point, however I've had a friend who's come over a few times with her dolls and we've gone on photography excursions together and I do feel the same kind of wonder looking at them as I do my own. I enjoy taking pictures just of her dolls like I would my own (and I feel the personalities loud and clear) and I love being able to feel like my dolls can make new social connections. Granted I think it's worth more observation because although she collects different types of dolls than myself it's well within the spectrum of my own interests. Maybe I would connect less with some dolls but at this point I think it's more likely that I'm just really excited about dolls all the time.

 

I haven't had the opportunity to "meet" anyone else's dolls in person yet, so I don't know what that experience will be like, but I can easily say that I genuinely adore and have warm feelings toward other people's dolls. I don't have that reaction to every doll, but it's happened frequently enough to make it clear that my affection is not limited to my own dolls. I like to imagine that I can feel the love and attention that has been poured into the doll, even though I'm not the person who invested that time and emotion. Needless to say I'm very excited for doll meets

 

I don´t have a BJD yet, but I´m planning to buy one as soon as possible. I´ve been searching for a long time and I´ve seen a lot of dolls that I didn´t feel anything for when I looked at them. They certainly were beautiful but I knew they weren´t meant for me. But then I became attached to one and I´ve been longing to buy her since. Maybe I´m weird to become attached to a doll I don´t even own yet...

 

Old-school tabletop gamers have a saying. One that goes all the way back to the early days of that hobby, when basic set D&D and black box Traveller were the bee's knees and nerds who knew how to toss a d20 were relatively few and far between.

It goes "Nobody wants to hear about your character" and it addresses the fact that while we each love our own creations and their stories dearly, you really can't expect anyone ELSE to care nearly as much as you do. No one wants to listen to you blabber on for hours about Sir Stabsalot the level 37 Paladin of the God of Overwrought Drama, and trying to force that kind of thing on your fellow gamers is rude, annoying and may get you pummeled with a very heavy rulebook.

I think the same general maxim applies to dolls. Occasional mentions of character and backstory, or your future plans or what-ever are fine... But learn to control your urge to talk about it endlessly in vast detail to anyone who stands still long enough to listen. Rein it in when your audience seems to be getting bored, restless or more than ready to move on to other topics.

And yes. I may be fond of my own dolls and those that belong to my friends... But I'm not the least bit interested in reading twelve pages of planning, a short novel and a lot of hemming an hawing over Random Dolly Owner X's latest favorite. I don't want to hear about their character.

 

The name of the character got me! And the" Overwrought Drama" I'm done! XD

I occasionally have asked people about their stories and being a frequent Instagram user I see dolls everyday. I've gone to a ton a meeetups and each one I've possibly really liked the doll, more or less gelled with the owner, but haven't always connected.

I love my friends dolls and when I ask about others dolls or stories, it's coming from artist to artist and giving them a small space to talk about something they love cause I know as it's something that excites people and I love seeing people happy even if I don't always love people. Lol!

This is definitely an interesting topic as many of us probably have never noticed this about ourselves before! I'm enjoying hearing everyone else's experiences!