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Do you feel that you should pretend to love dolls that you don’t?

Sep 30, 2009

    1. I have noticed that some doll owners seem seriously offended if another collector does not appreciate their doll choice. This could be for almost any reason ranging from the mold to the company who made it. A DOA member can be casually expressing an opinion related to a mold or company (not even anyone’s specific doll in the thread) and BANG someone posts a defensive response.

      It is interesting to me as this hobby is very much about expressing your personal taste and aesthetics so I sometimes find it odd when people get their back up on the forums when another member expresses an opinion on a doll.

      So the questions are:
      -On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

      -Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

      -Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking :) wow.

      -Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

      -Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

      -Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

      -If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?

      -If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

      I always hope to like every mold but some, I just don’t and maybe I never will. Although I think it is rude to tell someone “Your doll is ugly” I don’t feel it is rude to politely say you are not into that mold or style or whatever. Maybe because I am an artist by trade and I am used to hearing people give their opinions (good or bad) on things I care about. Maybe I am numb to it :) so I am not totally understanding some of the reactions on the board. But I would like to have a better understanding so here we go...
       
    2. If it's a discussion board thread about a mold, and not a particular mold I may throw in my 2 cents of why I think the mold doesn't appeal to me. Generally unless it's something that really bothers me I don't feel the need to say much though, especially if i can't pinpoint why. Probablly because I'm one of those people who likes to ask "but why?" about everything haha, so I want to be able to answer my own question if I am going to disagree with someone. I know my girls mold isn't the most popular but I think as long as a person is constructive in their dislike it wouldn't bother me.
       
    3. Personally, if it's a thread about a doll that I don't particularly like, I tend to just not pitch in my 2 cents. If specifically asked, I won't lie, but I don't believe in being rude. Just a simple "It's not my style" or "It's lovely but just not for me" will suffice. No, I won't gush over a doll unless I really do love it, but if I don't like a doll I just don't say anything at all.

      As for whether my dolls are liked... yes, it would hurt my feelings if someone pinpointed my doll and said "I don't like your doll", because I put a lot of work into them. I'd shrug it off after a bit and keep going, but yes it would hurt. However, someone saying "I don't like that sculpt" wouldn't bother me at all, because it's not my personal work they would be criticizing.

      Though a lot of it just has to do with how it's phrased, too... "Your doll isn't to my taste" isn't insulting at all to me. "I hate your doll" is.
       
    4. I tend to just avoid talking about dolls or doll companies that I don't particularly enjoy. I don't wanna be rude or offend anyone, so I keep my opinions to myself. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I would never tell someone that I didn't like their doll because that's just rude.
       
    5. I think a line has to be drawn between 'general' and 'personal' in things like this: I've got no problem saying an abstract "I don't like X doll" in a discussion thread on DoA (though I've noticed that DoA tends to discourage topics like that to begin with) whereas posting "Urgh, your X doll is awful, how could anyone like that sculpt?" to a gallery thread where someone's taken the time to pose their doll, pretty him/her up and take pictures is something completely different (I may think it sometimes, but the old adage of 'if you can't say anything nice...' is applicable there)

      I feel the same way when it comes to my own dolls, too: I've no problem with someone saying "I hate Yo-SDs" (for example) on DoA or as part of a face to face conversation - we all have different tastes and I probably feel the same about some of the dolls they like - whereas I've also had the experience of someone following me around a meetup and taking every opportunity to pick up my Yos, manhandle them roughly and at the same time make displeased noises as they bleat loudly and repeatedly about how much they hate every Yo-SD Volks has ever put out. One of these things is just plain rude, the other's a simple matter of opinion and I treat it accordingly.
       
    6. To be rude, it doesn't necessarily have to involve your, I or any personal pronoun. You can still have bad taste to just say "That doll is ugly" "I hate its face" "That's so creepy!" (what, when 'normal people think our BJDs are creepy? lol)
      (I tend to see this rudeness more when discussing less 'attractive' new dolls [Pipos Cheshire was a prime candidate for this], but it still counts as being rude.)

      In discussion or debate; it's ok to express your opinions tactfully, but I can understand why doll owners would get upset if one person posted a mean comment without any explanation as to why. On the other hand, if I see someone writing a huge text on defending their doll, then I think they're overreacting slightly. The internet is a hugely unpersonal place, so it's a bad idea to try and make it too personal.

      I've never really cared much on what other people say about my choice of doll molds, and I've been happy to admit that I'm not fond of a certain part of a certain doll mold, so they're not the one for me.
       
    7. Seriously? What the hell. Where do people get the idea that this is even remotely acceptable?

      Differing opinions on doll sculpts is not only fine, it's healthy. My best friend isn't a fan of Delfs, and I own three (though they're the only three I intend to get). She's told me as much. Do I mind? No, not really, because it IS largely a question of personal aesthetics. If everyone had exactly the same tastes, the world would be pretty damn boring. If you don't like my Shiwoo because you don't like the sculpt, that's fine. He's not to everyone's taste, and I won't try to convince you that he is (I adore him and to me he's perfect for who and what he is, and really, in my mind that's all that matters). As long as you express your difference of opinion in a civilized fashion, then by all means, go right ahead. It's when you get rudeness that the line needs to be drawn.

      There are a couple of companies whose aesthetics do nothing for me. There are a couple of molds from companies I otherwise like that make me go 'just...no. No.' You know what, that's fine. Other people love 'em, and I'm sure there are just as many people who don't like DOCs/Delfs/Elfdolls. Lord knows I'm not gonna get pissy if someone says that. Getting all mad and defensive over someone saying "That mold just doesn't appeal to me" is a waste of energy, really.

      Of course, if you track me down specifically to fling insults at my doll and me for liking a given mold, then I reserve the right to tell you to get over your damn self. ;)
       
    8. I think that it's easy to say that you don't find a company to your style, or a certain mold. Doesn't mean you dislike the doll (though you might), but that it's just not something you would buy.

      Of course, if someone asks my honest opinion about a doll or company that I don't like, I'll say what I think. Whether I use as much tact as I could or not, well... That depends on how well I know the person. If Random Person A at a meetup says "Oh, I just saw the new Y doll, what do you think?!" and I don't like it, I'll probably just say that it's not to my tastes or that I really don't think that it would fit in with my other dolls. If it's a good friend I'll be more likely to tell them "That doll looks like it did the hundred yard dash in a fifty yard gym."

      As for if someone tells me they don't like one of the molds I have, well, that's why I own them and they don't. I had someone tell me once that they couldn't see why I had a Puki. (Turns out they were saying that because it was so small they were afraid they would lose it...) The easy reply is "Because I like it and had the money."

      Of course, it's not like any of us on Den of Angels have anything to worry about. Saying even that a sculpt "isn't for you" is toeing the line, and from what I've observed the mods VERY quickly delete any post where someone says anything even remotely more harsh than "I don't think it's for me." I'm not complaining about that-it makes it VERY noob friendly, and helps assure them that no matter what doll they get it won't be made fun of or looked down on.
       
    9. I think it's all in the delivery, as previous people have mentioned. If you mention with tact that a certain sculpt isn't to your liking, or that a certain company's aesthetic just isn't your style, then I don't think many people would take offence. And if they do, well maybe they're being a bit too sensitive.
       
    10. I hate to say this, but after the first time, I would have said "Then leave me and my dolls alone, please," and the second it started again that person would have gotten a punch in the nose and a "KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY DOLLS."
       
    11. Some people have very thin skins. Others seem to enjoy being outraged and actively look for things to be offended over... I honestly don't think that there's any real, rational way we can both cater to those people's delicate sensibilities and have anything at all like a fair representation of varied tastes and differing points of view.

      There's a big difference between being honest and being rude. Too many people in this hobby seem prone to forgetting that.
       
    12. "On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?"

      Absolutely!

      "Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board?"

      Yep. I've said many times that I don't care for the aesthetic of certain companies, because it's just not my style. There's nothing wrong with them, they just aren't for me, and I'd feel horribly awkward being given one, for instance -- so it goes beyond 'I just wouldn't buy it'. Some of these are very high quality items that are obviously very well planned, expertly sculpted and assembled, and wonderfully designed, but that still doesn't make me like them or want to own them.

      "Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own?"

      I wouldn't have any issue with this. I don't expect everyone to like everything I do -- that would be seriously boring. If everyone thought the same way and had identical tastes, where on earth would anyone ever find new ideas, after all?

      "If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?"

      No, because I respect the fact that people have very different tastes. I almost universally hate cute, for example. I can look at it and appreciate it for what it is, but the idea of having cute in my house in any volume makes me feel like someone poured a bucket of cooking oil down my back -- it just doesn't work for me, at all. Some folks love cute! Who am I to tell them they're wrong? By the same token, they don't have to like what I do, either.

      The big issue here, at least for me, is a matter of respect. It's just plain rude to rip something apart simply because it does not suit your personal style preferences. Something is not 'a piece of junk' just because you, personally, don't want to own it -- it's just something you don't want to own. I'm not talking about real critique here, either, but of the typical random 'think before you speak' spouting that is fairly prevalent in society at large. Naturally, everyone's entitled to whatever opinion they want to have, but there are polite and respectful ways of expressing those opinions that don't involve being rude or obnoxious.

      When it comes to critique, there's a little more leeway, but there's also a real need for specificity that the spouters don't often care to invest the time in. Anyone who has ever been to art school knows that 'that blows' is not really useful critique to anyone, for instance.
       
    13. Hum, it's fine not to like something though. It's already pretty well covered the difference between rudeness and a valid "It's just not for me" statement, so I don't really have much to add there. I guess some people might take it very much to heart if someone didn't like their preference, it just seems plain odd to me to react badly to it. Personally there are plenty of dolls I don't like and would proberbly be at a loss to explain why if someone asked me as I would hate to be rude, but know I get very much into explaining exactly what I perceive as "good" and "bad" about anything when asked- upset a few college class mates when they asked me what I thought of their painting/claywork ect. To this extent I normally pass by commenting on something I dislike on these boards.

      Back on topic hehe~

      Goes both ways- don't be to miffed when someone has different tastes, wether it be for a doll you own or a doll your looking at that belongs to someone else. Would have thought that to be commen logic. :)
       
    14. -On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company? I don't feel safe expressing anything real around here, tbh! ^^; I really try to keep it light, but sometimes I fail. It used to be that we were strictly *never* allowed to say anything negative, but that policy seems to have relaxed nowadays. I don't really know what's okay and what's not regarding this kind of thing.

      -Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
      I've been on both sides of this coin... I think it's okay to say "well my wallet's safe this time around, "X" just doesn't speak to me" or whatever. It is vaguely annoying when people come by and dump random nastiness in your vicinity. You have to wonder "what was the point of that??" I really try not to do that nowadays, I don't need to look like more of a jerk than is *absolutely* necessary!

      -Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking :) wow.
      Ah this is what I thought we were discussing. General discussions, sure! Such as a thread that occasionally pops up (I don't know if it got locked or what) that was "what molds don't you like and why" or similar. There are certain sculpts I really don't care for and I know why, and I think I mentioned a few in that thread, since I was more or less asked. I don't think it's that appropriate to dump random negativity into discussion threads on a certain doll. I'm less offended, though if the person can articulate a reason for not liking it. That I can respect. For example: "I don't like "X" because he has a weak chin and pinched nostrils" versus: '"X" is lame!'.

      -Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!) I wouldn't mind. On some level I'd consider it evidence that I'm doing something right! My tastes tend toward the strange and inscrutable. I'm actually really surprised when people *don't* say that kind of thing to me!!

      -Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why? No, see above. I was mystified recently over the amount of negativity people randomly dropped into the new 1/3 DZ girls' thread. It was interesting. I don't think I'm going to get one as I think 1/3 scale is too large for me, but I do like them very much for their difference (ie large but rather immature sculpts).

      -Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad? Oh I overreact occasionally about all kinds of things, I'm not the cool-headed type, unfortunately!! But I don't recall getting steamed about this sort of thing. As I said above, I'm surprised if people like what I like, not the other way around!

      -If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why? Heh! What's more fun than Righteous Indignation? But in general, if someone's trying to hurt you, ignore them. Why give them the satisfaction?

      -If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why? Hmm, no probably not. I guess if they'd said "Why does anyone like this doll? I don't get it!" then perhaps I'd go to the effort of explaining what appealed to me about the sculpt. In general though, if someone says "Doll X is ugly!" I'm quite likely to say (in all honesty) that that's what I like about her!

      Raven
       
    15. -On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

      If it isn't, there's something wrong :lol: I've many a time come across a doll that has blown me away, when the mould is one I usually don't like and I don't think it's rude to say "I usually don't like ____ mould, but yours is amazing!" nor would I lie if someone asked me if I like a particular type of doll or company or expect anyone else to. I make no pretence over liking DollZone dolls, because most of their moulds don't appeal to me - but I own two and several of my friends' dolls I love because it's case-by-case and some of the phenomenal things people do with dolls can always surprise you. Hell, I loathe and detest the company pics for the Peakswoods Viyol, but I love mine to death :lol: So yes, I think unless you're putting it across really offensively, there should be nothing to take offence over or be unacceptable about saying a certain doll mould or company isn't your thing.

      -Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

      I think some people are, but that's the way of the world really - there will always be people who take things way too personally. (I can be one of them, about certain subjects ;)) But I do understand that this is a hobby where we form very strong attachments to our dolls so if someone says they don't like yours (note: yours, not the type or company it's from) then it's only natural to be hurt.

      -Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking wow.

      I would never post in someone's thread just to say I don't like a doll. That's rude, thoughtless and uncalled-for. If it's a general discussion thread then yes, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you don't like the doll, as long as you explain why and say it politely without being offensive. Tact is always helpful.

      -Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

      Not at all. I don't expect everyone to like my dolls - I do and that's all that really matters to me. Of course, if they were rude or offensive about it then I'd take umbrage, but I wouldn't mind if someone just said 'meh, it's not for me'.

      -Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

      Nope, see above.

      -Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

      Uhh, don't think this has ever happened :sweat If someone doesn't like a mould that I do - fair enough. More for me ;) They probably own dolls I don't like, so it's fair :lol:

      -If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?

      N/A

      -If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?

      Nah, I have better things to do with my time - if they don't like it they don't like it, and no amount of me showing them pretty pictures is likely to change their minds unless they want it changing - in which case they probably didn't dislike the doll that much in the first place :XD:
       
    16. -On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
      Yes, I think in those situations it's fine - about a doll sculpt specifically (but not a specific person's doll) or a company's doll "look" as a whole, when it's relevant to the conversation. Especially if it's done in a common-sense tactful way, not "Ewwww.... how could anyone like that hideous thing?!?!" (Which I do actually THINK about a couple dolls, but would never, ever say.)


      -Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
      I think some people are overly sensitive about everything, frankly. I don't think this should be an "only good things all the time" place, that's unrealistic and not useful. Insulting a doll sculpt is a bit uncalled for, but tactfully expressing an opinion is a good thing. Insulting a specific person's doll is of course ridiculous and doesn't belong here.


      -Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board?
      Sure, in the rare case that it's relevant to the conversation, but again in a tactful way, and of course not somewhere it's obviously not welcome! For example I have a strong negative reaction to Notdoll's sculpts. I would NEVER say something bad about them in a thread about Notdoll, or a gallery post featuring them, because I just don't normally GO in those threads! If I were to view a gallery post of them I would either find something nice to mention (clothes, photography, posing, whatever) or not comment at all.


      -Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own?
      No, we all like different things. If someone's not into a specific look that doesn't affect me, whether I agree or not.


      -Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
      Not unless they're particularly vicious. I've seen someone say really bad things about Dollzone Mo, for example, and I did feel a little attacked there because of the way it was stated. Usually it doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes it makes me wonder if they've really LOOKED at the doll in question, though!


      -Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
      No, I don't think so. I try not to post in anger, and if it's not my specific doll (not "Dollzone Mo" but MY Mo, Riddick for example) I am not going to engage them in most cases.


      -If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
      I try very hard not to let things bother me and not to get defensive. Life's too short.


      -If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
      If they've said something that's factually incorrect I'll say something, but other than that probably not. I might say "Aww... sorry you don't like them, I adore mine, he's awesome!" or something like that if it would be taken in the lighthearted way I mean it, but not much more than that. There are dolls I don't like, and no amount of explaining is going to make me like them, so why would I waste time trying to talk someone into liking something they don't?
       
    17. On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?

      No, I've never felt it was "safe" to be honest and express dislike on this board from day one. As I've mentioned before, one of the first threads I ever started on DoA was a thread about "What general features of dolls do you dislike?" and I said I didn't care for elf ears and thought other people would list things they didn't like. The thread was deleted by some moderator with no explanation within 24 hours - lesson learned for this board. Where it's a matter of taste, someone is very likely to not only disagree (which is OK) but to take it a step further and feel hurt because you don't like a doll they happen to like or own, or because they feel you're being unfair, ungrateful or "mean" to the artist/ company who developed the doll, or because they just feel that negative expressions of feelings in general are unpleasant and not what they want to read on the board. I've even seen these attitudes come out in response to very legitimate, non-art-related complaints about a company (like poor mechanical design of dolls or lengthy shipping times). Some people are really just into reading "good news only."

      I'm most likely to post in Debate because to me that's a place where you can be the most honest about your opinions on this board, but because the Debate topics are limited and one about "Dolls you don't like/ companies you don't like" is likely to be locked or deleted or deemed off topic, it's not a place where I can express myself a lot on those subjects. So, I tend to express my feelings of dislike for particular dolls, molds, or companies elsewhere for the most part.

      Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.

      My personal opinion is that many DoA members are overly sensitive to a lot of things that don't bother me for one reason or another, and in particular many of them seem sensitive to other people's opinions about their dolls or their hobby activities way beyond the degree to which I would be. Different strokes for different folks. If you're going to be on DoA you just have to accept that people are sensitive and adjust your posts accordingly.

      Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking :) wow.

      If I dislike a doll I'm happy to express that anyplace where it's an accepted/ acceptable part of a general discussion.

      Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)

      I don't care. I already own dolls that I know the majority of other doll owners dislike. In some cases the factors that made them unpopular, such as the sculpt being weird or something, actually attracted me to the doll. I tend to not like overly "pretty" dolls so I'm prepared for my taste to sometimes be at odds with the norm, which seems to prefer the pretty and idealized doll sculpts.

      Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?

      I don't have this problem. I don't care if anyone approves of my dolls or not. I didn't buy them for the outside world to gush over or even comment on, I bought them for me, so I bought what I like, as dolls are something in my life that is just personally for me and no one else.

      Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?

      I've not had this problem. If someone expresses dislike of a doll I own I generally either ignore it or I might make some mild comment as to the features of the doll I like. It's not anything worth getting excited about.

      If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
      If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?


      Not applicable, see above.
       
    18. Okay. I'm not too fond of pulips. Sure, they're off topic, but for the sake of argument. I would never go onto some pulip forum and say how I don't like them. It's rude. If you don't like a certain doll, you should keep it to yourself. However, if someone showed me their pulip in real life, I would tell them it's freaking adorable. :C
      And sure, some molds just aren't for me. But I don't mention it. I just move on to another post~
       
    19. -On the DOA boards where discussion and debates are the norm, do you feel that it is acceptable and safe to express dislike for a doll or doll company?
      I don't feel that it's unacceptable for someone to do, but I do feel it's unacceptable for me to do, meaning I don't say things like that even if I think them because I don't want to deal with the drama kicked up by such a comment. *_*

      -Do you find that DOA members are overly sensitive to someone not liking their doll? Or do you totally understand the offended party and think people should only say good things on DOA about all dolls.
      Absolutely not! I find the "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" line a pile of Disney crap. The world doesn't work that way and it shouldn't work that way. I think most of the time members do indeed over react because they somehow feel they must take things personally, I can understand how they might feel that way as they might think of the doll as an extention of themselves and therefore feel like it is them being insulted because their doll isn't to someone else's liking, but I don't think they should feel that way from the get-go and it's no one elses fault that they feel that way.

      I mean, if I told someone I wasn't a fan of their doll's hair color, is it really my fault if she goes crying to her friend about it? Or is it her fault for taking such a minor comment to heart? At times like that, I would say it is the owner who gets themselves upset, not really the person who said the comment. People can choose to ignore comments if they want to, you know?

      -Are you willing to admit that you don’t like a doll on the DOA board? I don’t mean in a thread where someone is showing off their particular doll. More like in a thread where people are discussing companies or aesthetics. It would be awkward to drop into someone’s thread just to tell them their doll was not to your liking :) wow.

      Honestly? No. :sweat There are quite a few companies I downright hate the look of their dolls, but I won't say that to anyone, not even my best doll buddies in private messages. Also, who knows? I may be proved wrong one day if they suddenly make a doll I like. ;)

      -Would you mind if someone said they were not into a doll you happened to own? (please, I am not looking for examples of one weirdo telling you to your face that your doll was horrible, anyone would hate that!)
      Nope, not at all. :) I understand my style of dolls and clothing could be downright annoying to some people and I don't mind them saying so at all. Childish dolls, lolita clothing, I know that's not everyone's cup of tea and I don't expect it to be or expect people to have to hold their tongue because of it. Some people just hate that sort of thing and I totally understand that.

      -Do you find that you can’t help but feel offended/attacked/defensive when someone does not approve of a doll you happen to own? If so why?
      No, I think everyone has the ability to control how they let things effect them and therefore can help how a comment makes them feel, I am most hard on this topic with myself.

      -Have you ever thought that you over reacted in the forum to someone expressing dislike of a doll you happen to own? If so what was it that made you so mad?
      The most upset about anything on the forum I have ever felt was when someone said I was wasting my money by spending it on Volks dolls when I could buy 6 dolls with that same money. :sweat To me, it felt like they were upset because the cost of the dolls they wanted (their entire wishlist) was the amount of what I spent on two dolls and were wanting to get out that frustration by calling me an elitest, which I found totally uncalled for.

      Specially since I hadn't said the slightest thing that could hint to me being elistest, all I did was mention the dolls I was getting, their price, the company and their molds/sizes. Thankfully, I pointed it out to a mod and they deleted the person's comment because they said it seemed the person was just trying to start a fight out of nothing, just trying to troll.

      I never replied to the person before the post was deleted, but I will admit it did upset me a bit, even more so as I had only been a member of DoA for 5 days when this person suddenly decided to attack me, it didn't make me feel very welcome here or like I wanted to be a doll owner if that's the sort of person I would be dealing with alot/be put in the same bucket with.

      -If you are someone who does get defensive do you feel totally justified when you are mad? If so why?
      Even if it is something that deserves a defensive attitude I don't feel it's justified, as weird as that sounds. I feel I've sunk a level by allowing it to get to me, even more so if I actually get defensive, no matter what I should be able to just ignore it and move on, that's the right choice of action most of the time. I feel I'm doing the wrong thing by being defensive.

      -If someone dislikes a doll you happen to own do you try to convince that person that the doll is beautiful! If so why?
      Nope, never. I might ask them why or what it is about them they don't like, just because I'm curious. And most of the time I do see their point, in most cases it just adds up to that's not their style, they like realistic scuplts, I don't, so of couse my cartoon-y doll wouldn't be a doll they'd like. :lol:

      Other all, I think some people are just way more emotionally involved with their dolls than others, which could cause more emotional reactions to things said about their dolls.
       
    20. I don't see any problem with commenting that you don't like a particular sculpt as long as you aren't in a thread dedicated to that sculpt! Like others have said, it's okay to express a differing opinion but definitely not okay to diss. I don't think I'd have a problem with someone telling me they didn't like my dolls because I chose them for my tastes, not someone else's.