Do you have a right to feel offended?

You can't expect non-doll people to understand... hell, I don't even understand most of the time (I've only been in this since June 2008) and I am not into anime at all. So, again, unless the comment is rude, you shouldn't get upset about it.

At least they aren't calling the poor dears CREEPY! Now that aggravates me... that's just plain rude. Now, if they worded it as "I find these dolls creepy" or "these dolls frighten me" then that's their opinion and it doesn't bother me... but... *trembles out of anger* well, you get my point, haha

 

I definitely think that everyone has the right to be offended or disgruntled as they see fit; but within limits. I mean, for me, it's not hard to distinguish between female and males that look close to one gender or the other (because I've been around anime and manga for so long @.@), but I realize that it's a lot harder for many people to see the subtle differences.
I think that the first time it's okay to be a little annoyed, but you should politely correct the person--after that, it's their responsibility to keep up with the gender of the doll >.<
Personally, I normally just tell my friends to look for boobs: If it doesn't have any, it's a boy. (This works better with older styled dolls; many msds doesn't have super-pronounced attributes)

Honestly, despite the lines being less defined when your doll is actually cross-dress, I still think about it the same way :/

 

Well, personally, I've never been offended when anyone called my dolls girls.

I mean, the people I hang around caught on right away on the fact that they're boys. XD I love my friends.

But some of my other friends seem annoyed at the fact that they look like girls. :3

 

Its really funny how people could be annoyed by something in someone's hobby when they are not even involved and have no idea about it

 

In my opinion, a lot of it has to do with the fact that in dressing your doll a certain way, you are assigning your doll a socail/personality role. Your doll may not be female, but really, what is he? He is a man in a dress, who is trying to pass as a woman. He is either transgendered, or a crossdresser, or something similar, yes? Such people find it a compliment to be called by the gender they dress as, because it means that they are passing well. So really, why are you offended on the doll's behalf? Were the doll a real person, and they chose to dress in that way, they would likely be proud or happy to be called female.

Now if you still want your doll to be called male, and you've politely requested this of the person in question, I can understand getting upset after a few times of them refusing to listen. Granted, not necessarily the second or third time, since they have to get used to an unfamiliar idea and they may still be trying, but after a while I can see how it would wear on a person if someone not only refuses to get it right, but refuses to try.

 

Given the aesthetic nature of many of the ABJD...

I'd be likely to mistake a male doll in drag as a female too.

And your sister is right... Its absolutely ridiculous for a doll owner to get up in arms because observers continually mistake their intentionally effeminate male doll as a "she" rather than a "he". Which most, without dropping the doll's trou' or lifting their skirt, would not be able to tell... And I think I'd find that quite a bit more offensive than mistaken gender.

 

You can feel offended.... but I would be more if that person really hates it only becasue of its feminity....

It is normal to think that he is a she is he his dressed as one.

Some people will tease and keep saying he is a girl, but that would not bother me, it is teasing. But if it is to really bother me then I would be offended.

Come on.... I keep making mistakes too!!!

I even stopped saying he when talking of BJDs.... they are now all she and if the owner tell me it is a guy I will know to say he in the future :3

 

That's a very good point.

You can't get angry with people for making mistakes, anyway. It's really unacceptable when people are rude about it like: "It's stupid that these dolls look like girls", but anything less than that is nothing to be annoyed about.

 

I agree with what everyone else has been saying. There is no reason to be offended. I've seen people who get a boy doll, dress him in girls' clothes, give him a girls' name, and then act all shocked and appalled when someone thinks their doll is a girl.

 

Mmm I dont really think people should get offended is someone thinks their male doll that is dress in women's or foppish clothing is a girl.

My shiwoo never dresses in girly clothes but his face up is a little 'soft' and people think he is a girl sometimes.

No reason to get uptight about it is my opinion.

 

Yes and no. If your boy doll wears jeans with a short wig and a shirt that says "Boy" or "Steve" on it and people still call your doll a girl, you have a right to be offended. But if you put you put your doll in dresses with long wigs and give him a girly name, you shouldn't be offended if someone calls your doll a girl.
I am a girl with short hair, and if I leave the house in sweats and no make up, I get mistaken for a boy. I know I shouldn't be offended because that is what most people think a boy looks like. But if I wore a dress and make up, then I would have a right to be offended.
^ Super late at night, hope that makes since

 

My family calls my poor boy a girl all the time, in fact...so did my Dr. So After a few times with family, I just keep telling them "I wanted to have a pretty face." and with the dr. I just smiled and nodded. ^_^

Its annoying but its bound to happen.

 

I don't think you have the right to be offended if you're obviously making you're doll look girly. Heck, i won't get offended if anyone call my dear Kevin a girl when he arrives. His face is really girly and with clothes on you won't see his a guy, even if I will make sure his clothing is male's clothing.
But I would be offended if someone makes fun of him or offend him by caling him creepy or call him a girl even if they know he's a guy. That's something i won't tolerate. Or maybe if he for some reason has a dress or skirt, 'cause I'd prolly call him a girl myself, but still, as long as he has male's clothing and a person knows he's a guy and still call him girl, I won't be happy at all. 'Cause it's not just bullying Kevin, but it's actually making fun of me. Oh, this got me so mad, 'cause I'm pretty sure a guy-friend of mine will state my darling's a girl every time he sees Kevin...

 

Gender is made, cultivated and bred by society, so the only reason that people continue to insist that our dolls are girls, even though they're not, is because society says that boys wear pants and girls wear dresses and anyone who upsets this law has GOT to be weird and backwards. As a violator of social and gender norms, I can say that I don't really honestly care, and I think it's a little funny. My mom calls my boys girls all the time, but when they come in the mail, she's the first person to say "okay, so where's the penis?" And have to see it. I guess she just wants to confirm or something.

I'm not at all offended. I think it's hilarious and just proves ever the more how wrapped up in social norms some people are.

 

I wouldn't get offended if my mom or sis called Kevin a girl, even if they knew him being a boy. They're just like that. Mom even called a gal-friend of mine "a cute boy" months after she knew that my friend actually was a girl.

 

I have a hard time believing that society determines whether someone has a penis or vagina, as far as gender goes. Gender isn't something that is determined by what you wear, so I find it hard to 'blur lines' in that area. You are either a female wearing clothes or you are a male wearing clothes.

I do believe that a large number of people like their doll to seem 'controversial' or be involved in a lot of drama so they deliberately give their dolls tendencies to do things that a large portion of society may think of as 'weird' or 'abnormal'.

To me, seeing a male in a dress is like seeing a female in pants. BFD

 

The idea is that what you're talking about (genetic and physical male or femaleness) is a person's sex, while a person's gender is something determined only partly by the body they wear, but also by their own feelings, society's interpretation of them, and the like. Sex is, by and large, a binary quality--most people are physically either male or female. Gender is more of a sliding scale, and has many more offshoots. For example, if I, with my pants-wearing, job-holding-down, cussing, well-educated ways were to go back a couple of hundred years, I would be perceived as distinctly "mannish." That quality would not be part of my sex, but of my gender--and that quality is also definitely dependent on the culture I exist in, since none of the things that would make me mannish in the early 19th century are considered particularly masculine now.

It's great to have this concept of "gender" that allows us to think about how our ideas of ourselves, of our roles in society, and of how we interact with the people and the world around us as being more complex than the handful of possibilities our physical bodies can show!

 

i really dont think its something to get offended by , yeah it can be annoying but i have myself mistake some boy dolls into girl because of their makeup and clothes etc. its to be expected really

 

I have this problem a lot. I don't dress Calix up as a girl, but because he has long-ish hair, people often mistake him for a her. That's a pain in the bum and it becomes annoying to have to defend.

 

I personally don't think it's something to get offended over at all.

As others have said--a person is, of course, free to get offended about anything they like. (That sky is blue! God! I just hate it when that happens.) Offense is something everyone has a right to. But it's also something everyone has a choice in. It's not a compulsory reaction. You don't HAVE to be offended because of a logical misconception about the gender of your doll.

The phrase "to take offense" is interesting in that it's exactly what you do--you take it upon yourself wilingly. And since offense is such a powerfully negative feeling, I always think it's best to reserve choosing that for yourself for only the very worst of circumstances.

You can certainly be annoyed without being offended. But offense is rather serious and so I would not waste energy being offended because someone mistook the gender of my doll, no matter what he/she was wearing.