Do you have a right to feel offended?

Ive found theres a great deal of gender confusion when it comes to alot of Asian-based hobbies. so if youre in to collecting BJD's, or anime/manga, or heck, video games - it just comes to be expected really. I tihnk its some thing people just need to get used to, when some one mistakes their doll for the wrong gender. I dont see why they should be upset, maybe annoyed at repeating themselves, but not enough to let it really really get to them. I would probably ask first, if I wasnt 100% sure, but I also would just say "sorry" if I happened to get it wrong.. but I wouldnt kill myself with guilt over it, having gotten baby gender's wrong in the past, as I'm a child/family portrait photographer. when you stick a pudgy baldish 6month old in a blue shirt and diapers, im gunna assume its not a girl!

 

That irritates me. It's not my girls fault that some owners dress their boys in girlish clothing. I dislike a lot it when people assume all dolls dressed like girls are boys.

However, I've got a drag king character and if she doesn't get mistaken for a boy I won't have done my job properly

 

I don't see why you need to get annoyed just because it is the opposite gender of what the person thought, as long as YOU know what you want it to be then that is all that matters. And I can correct your sister. Male's do wear skirts...cross-dressers or gays that is. But is mostly falls into the first category.

 

That's a bit... toe to the line of offensive. Lots of men wear skirts who don't fall into either category. (I call some of them Scotsmen, and there's nothing like a man in a kilt.)

Please reconsider the tone that you are trying to present, and consider that painting with a local paintbrush hardly works on a global scale.

 

None of the gay guys I know wear skirts and I know quite a lot of them.

It does confuse me on why the majority of the forum's characters are gay skirtbois and while it doesn't offend me it does kinda get annoying at times when trying to find an owner picture of a male mold that actually looks like a guy.

 

I have a boy who loves skirts, so when someone says 'Oh, she's lovely!' i just politely corect them. It doesn't offend me, and in fact the reaction is sometimes priceless!! And anyway, how would they know? BUT when I do the polite correcting and said person makes fun of and disrespects my boy I get very offended. VERY.

 

Uhm. I'm sorry but your comment is offensive and pig headed and rude.

 

You are awfully rude, aren't you? There is a way to get a point across without sounding so snippy. I've noticed several of your replies today are rather condescending. You might want to chill out in future replies. I suggest in the future you think more and type less, yes?

And I can correct you. I know some perfectly normal straight guys who wear skirts and aren't trying to look like a women. Its just clothes, not set for any specific group of people. Yes it is more associated with women and cross dressers, but don't jump to gays, just because they tend to be more 'womanly' in the general stereo type.

 

Noskryme, please remember when you post to think about what you're saying and who you may potentially be saying it to. We strive for a polite tone on DoA, out of common courtesy for people who share the same hobby that we do. And it sure makes the day a little bit better. While I'm not asking you to in any way change your opinions, I am most certainly asking you to put a little more care into the way you word your responses. You'll find more people willing to discuss points with you if you don't alienate them. Thank you.

 

I don't see why it would even be a problem when people mistake a doll that you have intentionally done up to look like a girl for a girl. I mean the whole point of lifestyle crossdressing is to pass as the other gender. To real crossdressers, it's the highest compliment to be seen as the gender they are striving for.

As for the whole "men wear skirts too" thing that's been going back and forth for the last few posts...I don't know a single straight OR gay man that wears skirts. (also I don't count kilts, robes, and other traditional wear as skirts) It's extremely uncommon, and so you can see why when 99.999% of the people wearing skirts are women, a doll wearing a skirt is mistaken for a woman.

 

Hmmm, I'm straight as a rainbow, so are (most) of my boy dolls... But not a single skirt.... DDDDDDD: LOH NOES, I CANNOT FIT INTO THE NARROW VIEW.

Okay, one of my gay dolls technically wear a skirt, but wearing traditional kimono is kinda like, his thing, ya know?

Also, a word from a teen to another, can you please rethink what you actually write before posting in the forums? Your other posts haven't exactly been enlightening...

 

I try to dress my doll like a boy ^^ For me, I like fashionable dolls (like streetwear, kodona) ~

Once someone thought he was a girl But I guess it was because of his wig, so hard to find nice short wigs >< I didn't feel very offended; i think most dolls do not look very "boyish or manly" so maybe it is hard for people not knowing much about bjds to tell ^___^


NosKryme>> I think it's pretty offensive that way you say that.

 

There's a guy in my hometown university who actually does. He's an english teacher, I think, and he's normally wearing mini skirts, high heels and stockings. Looks pretty ugly, too, but that's not the point - he's saying that those are just clothes, and since women can wear whatever the hell they like, skirts or pants, why can't he? He's perfectly straight, and not a transvestite. People do laugh at him, of course, untill they get to know him - I know for a fact that his students like him and respect his choice.

Anyways, back to the topic, I have a female OC that I choose to dress 'genderless'. She has really flat chest, short hair and doesn't wear skirts, so when someone sees a drawing of her, they usually assume she's male. I don't care, because I CHOOSE to present her that way. Actually, she wouldn't care, either. That's why I don't really understand why gender is such a matter - especially when you choose your boy to wear a dress. When someone says 'he looks girlish' the best response is 'yes he does', and a shrug.

Just my 0.02$.

(edit: making a quote work)

 

My point wasn't that men never wear skirts, it was that it's so rare that people don't expect it. You know a guy who wears skirts, but compared to that, how many do you know or have seen that don't wear them?

 

Um. This thread is way off topic at this point.

My dolls are what they are. And if someone mistakes them for the opposite of what they are? Why go flying into a tizzy? Rethink it. How much does it truly matter? If you're happy with how your doll looks, then don't worry about it. It's such a small thing in the vast scope of the world.

 

He is a transvestite Anyone who wears the clothing typical of the opposite sex is a transvestite, since transvestitism is simply Latin for 'cross-dressing' and doesn't remark on an individual's sexuality. Eddie Izzard is a transvestite, but he isn't gay and he isn't doing it for a sexual kick. He wears women's clothes because he likes to and he just happens to be a man.

I have a similar female OC, but she deliberately dresses in a masculine style rather than an androgynous one. If she doesn't get mistaken for a boy, I'll be a bit miffed since she's supposed to be a showbiz male impersonator/drag king. I don't really care what clothes someone dresses their doll in, but I do take exception to the people who are really bothered when someone else thinks their feminised boy is a girl. How can they justify the offence? When you've gone out of your way to dress your boy in that Dollheart Fer and the pretty tiara, the same way I've gone out of my way to dress my girl in her suits and ties, how can someone get so flipped out when someone else innocently assumes that what they see is what it is? It's a perfectly logical conclusion to assume that a doll in a dress is female.

 

*scratch head* well I known a few gay men and none wear skirt o-O and will never wear one, then when you say gay do wear skirts ... I wonder where ..... you can't really say it's 'normal' to see guys wearing skirts, I mean, it's not something you would expect from a guy to wear even if he is gay ! Then, that folk are surprised ... I'm not surprised by this.
But don't state a fact completely wrong !

If I see a guy in the street wearing a skirt I wouldn't even think he is gay but that he made a gamble with his friends, that he is having a party or celebrating is incoming wedding, saw a lot like this in the streets lol

And if wearing pump shoes I would try to see if he can walk with or no XD

 

No offense to those who really prefer them with gender, but why not just let the others call them as "it". That's basically what he/she is.(sorry, we do not have gendered pronouns in our language, so this is not a really big deal to me)
I do agree with the sister's logic though since most of us live in a patriarchal society; gender differences are greatly established as male and female and others are seen as deviants.
Levels of this patriarchal mindset varies in different countries. Malaysia doesn't seem to care... their gays are really pretty. Here, they vary quite a lot; masculine to frilly skirt type.

 

Because gender is not this limited, nor would it be in any way respectful.

 

A little late to the conversation, but I have to side with the sister.

I have had this discussion with my doll friends all the time, and we don't understand why some people lose their top when others misinterpret their dolls. I mean, I've seen some dolls in the gallery that seriously look like females, but in comments the owner thumps that oh no, he's a guy! "He just likes to wear dresses" "He's in touch with his feminine side" etc etc, and yes, they get insulted, pretty much. And I ask, why does this shock you? If it looks like a duck, and acts like a duck, then it's natural to assume it's a duck. If your doll has a feminine wig, wearing frilly petticoats, and Mary Jane's, odds are the first thing an observer is going say is "Oh, what a pretty girl!" Face it, most sculpts are interpreted both ways--the difference is just in the "equipment" molded onto the body. If your doll's character is a crossdresser, great! But unless you make some indication that she is really a he, then I think you're overreacting if you get all hot under the collar because other people don't see it.

Granted, this all flows back into tact. People seldom accept the many facets of others' interests and preferences. I'm not going to stand there and tell you well, you can't dress your boy up as a girl. But I wouldn't appreciate being accosted because I made the mistake in the first place. Tact goes both ways.