Do you have a right to feel offended?

I don't get terribly offended if it's a girly sculpt. My mother is convinced that my miho is a girl, when he's not wearing anything girly at all (he doesn't even have a faceup xD)
But that is because of the large-ish eyes and overall feminine parts of the sculpt. I can understand, though. If someone saw a feminine doll, wearing feminine things, he would think that that doll was a girl, and never would have thought that the doll could be a male.
It's like when you meet a person, with long hair and wearing a dress and makeup. You tell her she's pretty, and she gets offended because she happens to be a he. Who'da thunk xD
I'm not against cross-dressing at all, but I can just understand what others would think.

Now if someone said my ryu was a girl, I'd just correct them. (His sculpt isn't very girly.)

 

XDDD that happened to me! my very manly dressed Ryu was on my desk at work and this girl comes over and goes "look how pretty she is!" wtf? he looks like guy from a mile away XDD

 

ROFL I saw what you said and had to say something! That happened to me with Mugen when he didn't have a faceup. I don't know about now, but I think it has something to do with people not seeing BJDs on a regular basis.

 

lol i think youre right. all dolls are girls in some peoples eyes XD

 

Yeah its really sad. Some people aren't very artistically inclined either. So to them it makes little difference.

 

That, and ABJD's are styled androgynous. My roommate knows that my elfdoll K is a boy, but she doesn't see it. It's not because she believes every doll should be a girl, but his jawline, while extremely masculine in this hobby is still very feminine.
There are only two dolls doesn't mistake for girls (not counting the MNM's): Iplehouse Akando and Luo.

 

To be honest, if I can convince people that my (future) doll is a girl, then I've done his character right. Keep in mind that his character is an accountant working for the IRS by day... and he's Ira Ess, the queen, by night.

Your sister is right, it's not really anything to be irritated over.

To build on what Jessica said on page 1... My friend's BBB Lan doll was mistaken as a boy several times when she was first brought home. She's got a girl-style wig, and nothing but girls clothes (all of her tops are very clearly girl tops, and are accentuating of her breasts). THAT was irritating for her. "No no, she's a GIRL."

 

Your character sounds awesome!

 

XDDD i would hope no one would mistake Akando for a girl!
but i do agree with you...there are so many "masculine" bjds that are still feminine.

 

I went through an awkward time as a teen, and people called me a little boy a few times, that made me upset.... but if someone mistook the gender of my doll... that's something different... if they offended my doll.. well then I'd have bigger issues to deal with, as seriously how would I know unless the doll told me that it was offended. AND like I said, if that were the case, well I should be very concerned for other reasons.

HAHAH
Sorry.

 

I couldn't imagine getting offended if someone called my doll the incorrect gender if they were in an outfit/faceup that was very typical of the opposite gender. If a boy has thick eyelashes, dark makeup, a feminine sculpt, and a dress, anyone who has lived in a society with fairly defined gender lines (aka, most societies) then it's only natural to assume it's another gender. It's not something to get offended over if it's an honest mistake and chances are, it is. If someone snapped at me because I thought their male doll was a female because of their dress and faceup, I'd be likely to get into a small argument with them over what a small thing it was, and an accident on top of it all. Because I have seen lots of BJDs, unless I'm seeing boobies, I try not to assume the gender. Personally? My dolls (when I have them all) will be fairly gender specific. (The girl looks girly, the boy looks boyish. The exception is the tiny because it's a kid and kids are androgynous in real life a lot of the time anyway) I haven't got a problem with bending gender lines though, of course. Do what makes you happy and don't get mad at people for honest mistakes.

 

I can get offended if someone calls me minifee active line male for a girl. Cos he is not a girl and I'm not even trying t make him look like a girl. He is a man end of story.

But if I had male doll with a very feminine face up, all dressed up in dresses and looking very feminine, I'm very well aware that people will take him for a women. That is quite obvious to me. In that case I would not be offended (only if people are calling him a girl even if they know he is a man).

That's how I separate the question

 

I'd get a little offended, but it shouldn't be a big deal. My brother gives me crap about that all the time.

 

I'd agree with your sister.

If you dress your doll up as a girl, you either don't show it to people who don't understand the culture, or loosen up and treat it like a joke.

If the doll isn't dressed obviously as the other gender, or the other person bugs you about it even after being corrected, yeah that's definitely annoying.
(I once drew a character head on some school work, and the guy sitting next to me kept insisting the character was naked, but it was just a head!)

But there are some people who put themselves in positions like that, fully expecting to catch flack, just so they can get all riled up and defensive and get up on their soap box and preach to people, and those types of people really annoy me.

 

as a general rule, I don't even say "he" or "she" in any comments unless:
1. the owner specified which gender the doll was, or
2. I can see boobs, or it's obvious that there are no boobs.

I don't think the owners really have any reason to get annoyed though. they know they're dressing their doll outside of the typical gender norms, so of course some people are going to get confused xD

 

Here's the thing about it, I think.

If someone says "she" when the owner has pictures of their boy in a dress, and the owner freaks out and has a hissy fit -- that's uncalled for. It's an honest mistake based on societal expectation and the owner should just correct them.

If someone says "she" when the owner has specified the gender, the owner has the right to be mildly upset, because the person isn't reading carefully when they've gone out of their way to make it obvious that it's a "he", and a little upsetness (although maybe not offense!) is probably okay along with a correction.

If someone INSISTS that the doll must be a girl or looks like a girl because of their face shape, hair, clothing or "significant other" -- they have every right to take offense. Just because society tells us that girls wear or do certain things doesn't mean we should just follow along like sheep.

 

As a side note, we treat this like it isn't a real issue for people. I have plenty of friends who are transgender, and get called "she" when they identify as male and are extremely hurt by this. Of course in their case it's often their voice or face that throws people off, not their clothing, but still.

And I have friends who are boys who wear girly clothes and makeup, and girls who dress very butch -- etc etc etc.

The idea that "well, you're doing something outside gender norms, you should expect people to react badly and you just shouldn't present it to them if they don't understand the culture" kind of offends me because people will never learn to accept anything but what they've been told if they aren't presented with difference. Boys can wear lolita gear if they want to. Girls can wear motorcycle jackets and boots. People need to learn to accept this. And if they can't accept it in a doll, well, how will they ever accept it about people?

 

My SD17 Alain, ever called girl by other people.

And that make me felt a little bit annoy I don't think he has anything like a girl, his face and body is absolutely a MAN. He alway wearing suit or man cloth and I never and ever dress him like a girl(I hate to do that with my boy dolls ). I think only think that make others misunderstand is his wig, he always wearing long blond wig which are not the same style.

Sometime, it make me feel very upset when my doll was misunderstanding by others people.
and most of them are people who don't know much about ball jointed doll.

 

Personally I think people in general get offended too easily. I’ve read too many posts and heard a few remarks (in person) about “the idiot who said”.
If it wasn't meant to be an insult, please do not take it as such.
Sometimes I feel sorry for people who get jumped all over after making an innocent (to them) remark about someone's doll. Most of the time the remark is meant to be a compliment and they get yelled at.
No wonder some people feel that some of us are elitists or "odd" and it certainly does not encourage people to join our ranks (or stay here on DOA) if they are not treated nicely.

 

Dolls are whoever you want them to be, you have complete creative control over your dolls and if you want to dress your male doll in an obviously female mode of dress (rather than a kilt or toga) with an obviously female hairstyle and make-up that looks typically female you are well within your rights to do so and most people would defend anyone's right to do whatever they wanted with a doll they worked flippin' hard to get. What isn't your right as a dolly owner is to flip out at people who have made a very honest mistake based on the wider societal assumptions and beliefs about "girls wear pink and boys wear blue, girls wear skirts and boys wear trousers" and who, on the whole, are very quick to apologise when they have been politely corrected.

Now, the wider societal assumptions about who wears the trousers and colour permissability are there to be challenged and more power to those who have bent the rules and got people outside of the hobby to understand it, but when you take your skirtboi out on tour to meet the civilian world, there will be more people out there who won't understand why he's wearing a skirt than there will be people out there who will get it straightaway. It might seem wrong, it might seem unfair, it might even seem cruel on some levels...but that's just the way it is! For a very long time in social memory there have been these constraints on male and female modes of dress and people will not grow out of it today, tomorrow or next week. Or next month. Or next year. Change has to be a gradual process for it to properly take root, like women wearing trousers. In living memory there was a time when it was unusual and discouraged for women to wear trousers, but gradually trousers became a unisex item of clothing. It didn't happen overnight and it didn't happen because a bunch of people with dolls paraded their resin ones around wearing pants!

Also, being huffy and unkind to people who are only approaching something from their experience and knowledge is rude and only serves to make them understand less, not get them to try to understand more. Why should Joe Prole off the street be berated for thinking that doll in the pink dress is a girl? In Joe Prole's life experience, human figures in pink dresses tend to be female. You can't tell someone off or act like they are "stone age" imbeciles when all they have to go on are their experiences. They can't expect something when they have never expected anything like that before.

Ugh, I've had a very long day at work and it's garbled my thoughts. If anyone can make any sense out of this, they win a gold star and some 'net chocolate