Do you have a right to feel offended?

If the doll looks like one gender to the untrained eye or at a glance even though actually the other, then I think the owner should expect that some people will make such a mistake. However if someone starts arguing about it then I can understand the owner getting annoyed.

 

Of course the solution to the arguing about the doll's gender is to show them what the doll sculptors have added between the legs to make gender identification simple. "If he's a girl then why does he have a penis?" or variations thereof. I'm sure many of them are thinking of Ken dolls. They have no idea that many BJDs are anatomically correct.

As for your doll's gender identification... To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar says it best "When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation, he is a Transsexual. When a gay man has WAY too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen. And when a tired little Latin boy puts on a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress!"

Drag Queens and Transsexuals prefer to be called by the gender they are portraying.

 

Whenever I show someone one of my boy dolls they inevitably say "that's a boy?!, it looks like a girl", then I say "it's a boy" and they say "it looks like a girl" and I kind of agree with them. Then I show off the boys toned bodies and sometimes their manly bits and usually the response is a "Oh yeah, that is definitely a boy!". When I first showed people my boys and this scene played out I was annoyed. Now I come to expect it, including the appreciation of their bodies.

 

I treat male dolls in women's clothing the way I treat drag queens and transgendered men: as women. Because, for the most part, these people want to be consider female while in women's clothing. It's almost disrespectful to treat them as men otherwise (trust me on that one, I know my fair share of female impersonators). Why should it be any different for dolls?

 

i don't think you should get annoyed at the slip up. If its dressed as a girl and it isn't obviously a boy, then people will assume its a girl. When i get my Antebellum i KNOW he'll be mistaken for a girl, and its kinda the point. I'm not always sure if i'm looking at a boy or girl, sometimes, so why should i get annoyed with someone else who makes the mistake?

I do think you should be annoyed, mad even, if someone argues with you over the gender of your doll (after being informed of his/her correct gender) or pokes fun/makes rude jokes over it. Then, get the boxing gloves ready. I've not had it happen with any dolls, since i just don't have any like that yet, but i've shown people pictures of characters i've drawn/had drawn for me and they try to tell me its a girl after i politely inform them its a boy. I mean really, like i wouldn't know the gender of my own character!

 

But as Leloi so nicely pointed out a few posts up above, what about those men, both in the dolly world and human world, who like to dress in the opposite sex's clothing purely for the sexual fetish side, and have no desire whatsoever to be referred to as a female? Calling them so is equally disrespectful. There are even men who dress in women's clothing for reasons that have nothing to so with sex or personal identity at all. Just because a large portion of men who crossdress prefer to be called women, doesn't mean they all do. And vice-versa for women who dress in mens clothing (which I don't see being discussed here quite as much-shame : / )

 

I completely see where you're coming from. I suppose it's just one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenarios. Either way, someone's bound to get offended. The best thing to do I guess is just apologize up and down.

 

I study Drama (bear with me this is on topic) and one of the things we have to look at is iconic images.

A skirt is an iconic image in western society that symbolises femininity, whether or not you agree with social rules doesn't change that fact. Just like pink is for baby girls, blue is for baby boys, if you put a boy doll in a dress people will see it and respond to the iconic image of the female. It doesn't change the fact that the person inside the dress is masculine, but there has to be a certain amount of leeway given to people who will make an honest mistake.

However, if after being corrected the mistaken person is rude about, then you can get offended.

But that is only my opinion and opinion is relative.

 

I will fully admit TL;DR, and then add my two cents.

I don't think anyone who puts their boy in what is accepted in today's society as GIRLS' clothes has any right to be even the eensiest bit upset when people misconstrue their doll's gender.

In fact, I'm offended that you're offended.

Yeah, society sucks. Yeah, gender rolls suck. BUT THEY EXIST. So you don't get the right to be mad at someone who has been raised and taught these gender identity cues for their whole life. I'm sorry, but that's just not fair.

Furthermore, boy dolls who are dressed as girls get under my skin. If you wanna dress your doll in frilly dresses and bonnets, why didn't you get a girl doll?

Now don't get me wrong, I have quite a few transgender friends. I have nothing against someone who is having a gender identity crisis. But the people who are genuinely having an identity crisis don't get bent out of shape when you call them by the gender they are trying to portray.

So, in short, my opinion on the matter, whether it be girl-dressed-boy-dolls, or emo-real-boys-in-girl's-pants, is you do not get to be offended if you get mistaken for a girl while wearing girls' clothing.

 

I can instantly tell if a character in a manga is a girl or a boy. My friends can't, and often get confused. I get characters I draw myself mistaken for girls when I go out and sell my prints and originals at exhibitions.

It's all about how you view things. I'm VERY visual, as, I assume, are most doll owners. You respond to visual more then any other stimulus (and no dirty jokes, please... :P) so your ability to judge by appearance is far more accute.
That it, nothing more or less, nothing nasty, maelicious or catty.
And certainlly nothing to find offensive.

 

I wouldn't get offended at all. What it comes down is that at the end of the day your happy with your doll and you know if it is a boy or a girl. Also some boys look quite feminime and it's easy to make the mistake but it wouldn't really bother me.

 

Of course people have the right to be offended about other people mixing up their doll's gender, just as I have to right to think getting upset over something like that is absurd.

 

I would say it depends on how feminine or masculine you have dressed your boy/girl doll up.
If you present a stranger to the hobby with an extremely feminine looking boy doll dressed in a big frilly dress with ribbons and laces, I would say you don't have the right to be offended, because you have dressed an already feminine looking boy up in girl clothes.
But if it is just a boy doll in maybe ... jeans and a long t-shirt with a bracelet and he is still mistaken for a girl, you can get offended if you like too. I personally think it is a small thing to get offended over. I mean, those people may not be used to seeing dolls, and coding the masculine and feminine features, so I give them some room to think my Yder is a girl dressed masculine XD.

Sum up: I think you do got the right to be offended if you have dressed your boy doll in what is considered 'boy clothes', but not if you have put him in a extremely girly dress.

 

The argument that transsexuals and drag queens prefer to be named as the gender they are portraying and applying it to dolls is really a rather weak defense. These dolls are objects, and most BJD sculpts look rather feminine already. Put them in dresses, and no matter what's between the legs, the instant response is going to be "girl". Now, an explanation of "this is my character, Bob, and he's a transsexual/drag queen" should be a good enough response for anyone. If you want your doll to be recognized as male, don't put him in a skirt; otherwise you need to be prepared to explain some things.

I realize that for some, crossdressing their male dolls is an attraction. However, like some have mentioned, I don't understand why someone who has a desire to dress a doll up in frills would buy a boy body. Because no matter how open a society we may become, there will always be gender classifications. No one should be offended when they break these norms; only if the other person is pushing the boundary of respect for your interests. Just realize that these are dolls--objects--and "they" won't care one way or another.

 

I think, if they dress their dolls like girls, and they're called girls, they shouldn't be offended. If they gt so offended, dress them like a boy. I'm not saying anything about dressign boy up liek a girl(I totally plan on doing that) but I am just saying not to get offended if they say she if they're wearign a skirt/dress. The dolls are very beautiful and put a skirt on them and they look like girls, especially if their hair is kind pretty too. I mean if I dressed a girl up(like if she had big busts) like a guy, and someone called her a guy, I'd think they were just pulling my leg, ya know? I mean even I've been called a guy many times before(so I'm flat chested, sue me xD) and I hardly get offended, if I dress liek a guy, its to be expected.

 

half the time you really cant tell untill you see them naked and read their bios

 

I agree with her. I don't think you have the right to be offended just annoyed. Not like she's saying its wrong, not right, horrible, gross.

My dolls wear male clothing and they have short hair, short eyelashes or none and they're male dolls. But people still confuse them with females. They just have a feminine face.. most of these dolls do. Eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush ect..

As for the asexual dolls the sex is depended on the clothing. Skirts = girl Pants = boy.

 

Your whole post was making me lol
How about raising your doll's skirt so that your sister (and any other person) can see his "wee-wee" XD Then, you can laugh at their reaction.
I was surprised to see that BJDs had them...

And yes, Mana is beautiful. Whenever someone says how pretty "she" is, I don't feel offended, I feel proud for him XD In a weird way.. lol, I'm a crazy fan.

 

All these posts remind me, my NEPHEW was consitatly mistaken for a girl until he was about five, because he had very thick hair that kept growing at a ridiculous rate, exceptionally long eyelashes, and his mother like to dress him in bright clothing, (and unless they have gender specific pieces, like faeries, a skirt, a picture of a truck or something, kids clothes are quite unisex)

I didn't take offence and neither did our family, we simply politely corrected them and thanked them for the compliment.

And this is a living human being who happens to be a close relative, not an inanamate doll.

 

Being someone who owns a boy doll who loves wearing dresses and skirts as much as trousers, i think it's understandable that people can confuse him with a girl. Heck, when i was waiting for Ghost to be delivered, he was all i talked about at hime, and then i got him and my Mum, my Dad AND my little sister all thought he was a girl. X_X

The first time someone meets your doll and mistakes them for a girl, it's not understandable to get upset/offended/annoyed/ etc. Unless you're Scotish (joke! don't get offended ) you've been bought up to know girls wear dresses and like pink, and boy wear trousers and like blue. So seeing a guy in a pink skirt could be confusing.

But if you've told that person your doll is a boy, and they still call him a girl, then i think you could get mildly annoyed. But...not angry. Just explain to them that he is in fact a boy, and if they continue, ignore them because they can't accept things that are different.

toodles