Do you have a right to feel offended?

you sister is entirely right. If a doll is made to look like a girl than people will assume that he is a girl. It is just the way the world goes. When I was younger and going through the tomb boy phase I wore guy clothes and I did get called a boy a few times, I got a little offended at first but lets basically say it made me grow out of that phase pretty quickly -_-'

 

I agree as well. It honestly sounds like they're just doing it to get a rise out of you, not because they "don't believe" that it's really a girl.

EVERYone mistakes my Yukito for a girl, too, for pretty much the same reasons. And I just do the same thing. Sometimes, I don't even bother correcting them (especially if it's just some random person on the street who obviously doesn't care one way or the other about dolls and is probably just being polite).

Really, I think the only thing that I've ever been offended by is people who just think it's okay to grab your dolls and man-handle them without asking---especially by people who know that they're expensive and should be treated nicely.

 

I wouldn't be offended.
To me, dressing boys in skirts and dresses and expecting others to think he's a boy is bit ridiculous.
I mean.. come on -0-, guys normally don't wear skirts... normally.

 

I'm glad I read the first page, this is exactly summing up everything I planned to say Dress = Girl, end of. Even I have to look for boobs most of the time (making it doubly hard with less busty girls ) to tell if it's a boy or a girl. But then, none of my dolls cross-dress (unless there's a point to it)

 

I agree completely with your sister. How should anyone know thats a boy in the dress? Course it's something else if the people demented you as wrong sick for dressing your boy into girlish dresses after they heared from you it is a male. Thats a complete different thing, you can do what ever you want (so can any boy).
But just for mistaking the doll. NO! I meet some of that doll owners once >< getting angry that I mistake her doll for an girl *rols with eyes*.
By the way I had the whole situation looped 'round with my girl (yeah actually a real girl). She was wearing a skirt, a cute shirt with cat ears, multicolored neclace. Really girlish style. Two doll owners mistake her for a boy (ok if you're so used to crossdressing) the bad think was, after I correctet them my doll was boring. No cute boy in dress but a girl? How could I. They left at once, let me stay with unbelievable look on my face oO. THAT was anoying!

 

Well, from the other side of the pond if you have a curvy male sculpt throw on a face up with long lashes, a dash of long wavy hair and a frilly dress with a corest. How is anyone supposed to know the gender without lifting up the skirt? (which I dont suppose would cross most peoples minds). If you cant tell the difference if its a boy or girl and you dress it as a girl people will assume its a girl... Its like the whole twins not being told apart thing. No offense to twins but when they intentionally dress, act, look and sound the exact same how is anyone supposed to tell them apart with just a quick look? We cant see auras and there is no flashing sign that says "I am x twin". If you are intentionally making it impossible to tell yourselves apart or to know what your gender is you have no reason to be upset if someone gets it wrong or asks.

 

Being new to BJD's I made a few mistakes with MSD's...I thought the boys were very pretty girls with a little less makeup, and I thought they were adorable! It wasnt until I read the description that it was a boy! Golly I would have been surprised when I got it!

 

If he looks like a girl, people shouldn't be surprised when he gets called one, surely. It seems somewhat irrational that someone should get annoyed over that.

 

WHy the heck would you dress a boy as a girl unless the intention was to have the boy doll "seem" like a girl?

If you have a male doll you have dressed female in all ways and you are getting offended when I actually mistake your doll as a girl... I will simply presume you are just trolling for attention, or a debate of some sort--hardly anything else makes sense.

I have a DiM Andrea coming soon. I love how pretty the doll is. I plan on making female and male clothing for him. The natural dynamic of putting him in the female clothing is that some folks will not realize he's male. Somehow I think I'll manage not to lose my cool over it, no matter how many times the mistake occurs.

I prolly won't even correct anyone. What would be the point?

 

If it helps any, all the drag queens I have known referred to themselves in the feminine gender so I would think it polite to address a crossdresser in the gender they appear.

 

It's the same with the Visual Kei style. Some people that like it, see the differences and such but others, who are not into the J-rock, J-pop, bla don't get it at first. I personally love that style and I think that a whole bunch of the VK style guys are super-hot.
If an owner decide to dress up their boys more girly, they should expect questions of their dolls gender and such. So I have to agree with your sister.

 

do we have a right to be offended? yes, we have a right to feel however we feel, however that does not mean we have the right to take out our offense or irritation on people. We do have the right to say "oh, he is a boy, he just likes to dress like that, it is a part of his character" and there is no issue, if someone keeps doing it after being informed otherwise, or chooses to disbelieve you you DO have the right to tell them "now I have told you that he is a boy, I mean it, I am not kidding, and I think it is rude of you to ignore it. I don't find it funny that you are ignoring what I said and keep callin him a girl, and I would like you to stop."

Honestly if someone keeps going after that I would just write them off mentally as a bit of an idiot and avoid them, or avoid having dolls near them. If a friend is the one doing it they are clearly not respecting you. It is the lack of respect that is the truly offensive thing.

 

This has been an argument I been making for a long time even before BJDs, just fan art of very fem boys. But with BJDs I've seen many many boys dressed as girls and I say she and either I'm snapped at or corrected. Lets see I see a doll in a long wig and a dress and heels, why should I bother to ask if it's a boy or girl? It looks like a girl based on what I have been taught since I was little that girls have long hair and wear dresses. What do they expect seriously? I've now trained myself to "your doll is pretty" to avoid being snapped on.

Now I get a little tiffed with my boy when I get the whole "she's pretty" and he's in leather pants and a tight shirt and you can clearly see no boobs and a package in those pants. I now understand his mold is fairly girl looking but I don't dress him as a girl in any manner (except as joke on occasion for a photostory).

 

Of course I have the right to feel offended~ Everyone has their own rights~ (In reply to the title). =X

I don't get pissed or ticked off when people mistake my boys for girls. Even if they wear tight tops that reveals no boobs/cleavage. I'll happily correct them.

But I will get really pissed off if after correcting said person twice, never mind if it's within a few months or minutes, and they still call my boys, 'girls'.

Those are the times when I go 'are you blind/deaf(depending if it's online or offline)? I've already said he's a boy~! B-O-Y! He's got no boobs! Wanna see/touch his manly bits?!'

-coughs- I'll only say/type that if I were flipping mad...But I did say that to my cousin who did not bother to remember my boys are boys. And I've corrected her more than 5 times. Plus she didn't bother to remember their names even after I've introduced them to her 6 times.

 

Quote for truth.

Cross dressers generally prefer to be called by the gender in which they're dressing. This goes for male- and female-bodied people. I don't understand why doll owners insist that their male-bodied cross-dressing dolls be called boys. They're obviously trying to imitate girls, so why not do them the credit of calling them such, as we would a human person?

 

But if the dolls were wearing male outfits and not crossdressing, but still addressed as a female. Would you not want to correct the person?

I mean...I do agree that if a male doll wore female outfits and was mistaken as a female, that's not the audience's fault. But if it's a male doll wearing definitely male outfits but still called a 'she', would you feel the need to correct the people?

Just curious...

 

Honestly, I still find myself "guessing" genders wrong at times! If I look at a thumbnail of just a face...the gender sometimes seems to be nothing more than a coin toss !
(
Personally, I think you have the -right- to be annoyed at whatever you deem annoying ("Blast! The sky and its blueness!"). To be perfectly honest, however, most dollies are very androgynous. I don't think I would get offended if someone got the gender of my dolls wrong - I'd definitely be offended, however, if they couldn't identify MY gender! :O

Really, you can't blame anyone for not knowing. The best you can do is correct them, and if they still insist that your boy is a girl...well, I guess they can think that? I mean, when I was an infant, my mom dressed me in pink, but I was still called a boy due to my impressively bald head.

I guess, my only recommendation is to take it in stride. And, if worse comes to worse, FACIAL HAIR!

 

Define 'male outfits'...

Because, my wardrobe is decidedly masculine, but I'm still a girl. How do you tell? My features are feminine. If a doll has feminine features (and let's face it, there are a fair few flat-chested girls out there) then although we can usually tell the difference, it stands to reason that a bystander might just think 'tomboy' rather than 'boy'.

Now, if someone called, say, Akando or Kamau a girl, that would... no, I can't even say offensive, it would be funny as hell

Edit cause I scrolled up some:

Just FYI, I don't remember people's names until at least the 10th time I meet them, though I'm slightly better with online handles (and even then they need to have made a real impression) than real names, and even though some of my friends' dolls I've known for a loooong time, I still forget them. Pendrithgirl will tell ya - every time I go and visit her she'll be talking about one of her boys and I'll be looking at the exact wrong one I'm slowly learning, but it takes time And I'm a doll person, so don't be too mad at your cousin, it's understandable

 

While I don't think it's good to be offended by a mistake like that, I can /definitely/ understand being badly irritated or even a little upset.
Ideally, though, I think it's best to be tolerant of people like that and correct them gently.

Then again, ideally, if there's any doubt as to the gender of the doll, the person would ask to clarify...

 

No...my that cousin doesn't bother to remember. She's just talking to me for the sake of talking. She doesn't remember my English name and doesn't remember what diploma courses I took. It's pretty obvious. She doesn't know my sister's name too. And my sister's 5 this year... And we did visit her very often the past 2 years...-sighs- Most of my relatives are like that. Entertaining me for the sake of entertainment.

Male outfits...damn...I forgot guys outfits could be worn by girls too. I'm just so use to wearing certain guys' clothes that I just call them 'male outfits'. My features are androgynous, hence I get called a 'sissy boy' or a 'femme boy' or a 'trans', till people heard my voice. Very girlish and kiddish. -coughs-

How about using Apollo's current outfit. He's wearing a pair of tight white leather pants and there's this really obvious bulge there(damn AOD for making them so big) and tight, short white lace-up vest. The criss-cross is in the middle and unable to tighten till both sides of the fabric touches each other. So you can see through the lacing his defined pecs/abs.

But he still get called a girl because of his long white wig I guess? But currently his white wig matches his face-up and outfit.

But people were commenting about his vest, so they can actually see his pecs and rather guy-ish chest. I think no one noticed. Or that they think dolls are always girls. Non-bjd people...