Do you have a right to feel offended?

You want a doll that wont be mistaken for a female? Put a Unidoll Ark head on an Iplehouse EID superhero body, and leave him bald.

I don't care if people call my dolls female. Why should I care? It's really not important if random people don't know if my giant toy is supposed to be male or female. On a side note, my Yder was called "she" all the time until I scarred his face, and now no one (not even non doll people) calls him a girl. What's is up with that? O_o

 

Probably because people are taught that males live with their scars as badges of some virtue or another, and that females hide scars that distract from the perception of beauty. Strange, isn't it? I've seen more marred and maimed dolls than I ever expected. It's an interesting reflection of the owner's psyche. Hmmm.

On the main topic, I get irritated with my hubby when he infers that all the male dolls look effeminate and/or not particularly heterosexual.

 

I don't think that you can get upset with someone for mistaking a male doll for a female if they do look rather feminine. It happens.

If the same person keeps doing it, it's understandable that it would be frustrating.

When they're making offensive comments about genders/gender stereotypes, that's taking it too far in my opinion. There's a difference between making an assumption based off of a gender stereotype, and being rude about it.

 

Imyself agree that if the doll is in a dress, and looks girly, I'm going to think it is a female doll. Right to get offended???why? Unless the doll is wearing a kilt, which is a scottish male form of dress, I'd say no. But if you dress a doll to look like a girl, don't expect others to understand that it is a male doll, or be surprised at their reactions.

 

I think if you dress a boy doll in a dress and make him look girly, you should EXPECT people to think it's a girl, and not get offended, seriously.
I understand getting offended, though, if someone mistakes it repeatedly after you've already told them it's a boy/girl.

But if you're going to make it look like the opposite gender, then don't get offended if a stranger tells you how nice your girl looks in that dress, if it's really a boy.

 

I have the right to feel offended. You can't take away someone's right to feel something, and you can't ask them to not feel something because you have the right to hold a different opinion. What I do not have, is the right to impose my offense on anyone. No one should take their personal feelings, and let them escalate into offending, hurting, or being rude to someone else.

EDIT: Not to say I am personally offended. o.O I think it's odd, but I don't take offense to it. I was just saying myself for....I dunno, effect? Um. Something like that.

 

Basically everything Robo-Aly said hit the nail on the head for how I feel about this topic xD

Yes, of course I'd expect people to think my doll is a girl if they wore a dress, but after I correct them, I'd hope they wouldn't continue to do it and then say how I shouldn't be offended and just make the doll a girl because of how I dress him :/
That'd get extremely frustrating... mostly because as I read the conversation the poster... er.. posted xD; I could see myself getting fairly upset/frustrated, because the sister seems the type that really sticks to gender/clothing stereotypes DX

 

I have no idea why people get offended when their girly doll is mistaken for a female. If you put your doll in a cupcake dress and ringlets, I'm gonna think female. Hells, I have a Heliot who is a guy, but if I didn't KNOW he was a HE I'd think he was female.

Just as a side note, I personally believe there is a mystical/spiritual/metiphisical thind that makes someone a girl. I do not have this thing. I am female, but I'm not a girl. It has something to do with being able to wear skirts and not flash people and walk in high heels.

 

Everyone has the right to be offended, but it doesn't mean it's justified. Most BJD boy sculpts look naturally feminine because of their soft curves and to exaggerate that, it's only normal that people not use to it will be confused. It's not their fault that they can't tell.

Now, if you tell them it's a boy and they berate you for it or continue to go on about how much it looks like a girl, that's incredibly rude.

 

I guess if people were commenting you daily saying, "Is this a boy or a girl?!" then it'd get pretty annoying, but I don't think there's any need to shout at them or anything.
However, if they ask and you reply, "He's a boy" but they say, "No, it looks like a girl!" or something, then you could. xD

 

naw I don't think it would bother me, correct them and more on. just like when people call me miss on the phone. >>'

 

True... even trannies get mistaken for women in real life. So you should not feel offended, boy dolls DO look feminine, add a dress, and BAM

 

I second that. What people define as girl or boy is mostly base on their appearance. And scares are of a boy thing and not a girl thing. Most people believe that girls care about the scars that they get and take a great deal to hid the blemishes that they have.

 

That's an extremely offensive term to use, and the rest is no better. If you're talking about trans women, they are women, not "mistaken" for women, and if you're referring to men who cross-dress, then being taken for a woman is also part of the point.

 

I've tried telling people that before, they don't listen.

 

I often dress my boy as girl -- and I usually expect that people will think that he is a girl. I might mention that he's a boy if someone is interested in him, but usually I don't even bother mentioning it.

On the other hand, the second someone starts making rude comments about how * wrong * it is that he's in a dress or how he must be * gay * because he's dressed like a girl; then I get offended. Those sort of comments offend me, not because they are about my doll, but because those kinds of comments are inappropriate to make to anyone about anyone in my opinion.

I agree though that everyone has the right to feel offended by anything that offends them, but I tend to think that simply saying something like "Oh! What a pretty girl..." or something like that, isn't meant to be offensive. And I don't take it as such. My boy does make a very pretty girl

 

I think there's nothing wrong with it if someone comments that a doll wearing a skirt or a dress or maybe only if he has a very girly faceup and long hair thinks the doll is a girl. It happens. I've had plenty of people thing both of my boys are girls even though Akiyo doesn't look all that girly at all. No reason to get upset, just correct them and move along.

 

I think that if u are in the UK tranny is not offensive and it translates to men who would be called "drag" queens. Some of them are so good loads of people think are ladies. I dunno what the law in the US is, but transexual is transexual here, with no other sub-name.

 

Late to this lil debate, but I just thought I would give my poke at the OP, who clearly is not personally aquainted with any cross-dressers IRL. When a Queen is dressed in his "lady" self, you refer to him as "she", and use the feminine to address/speak of her. To not do this would be rude.
And penultimately, you are lucky your sister engages with you in any conversation about dolls, instead of just going "eeww" or "ack, creepy doll".

 

i agree. Most people i know are disgusted by dolls, they are freaked, etc. My husband cant stand them, neither does my mother. They thought my boy was a girl and called him "tranny draggy". Am i offended? hell no :P