Do you have a right to feel offended?

There's another aspect of this that occurred to me while I was reading through some of these posts... the OP in this case is getting offended on behalf of someone else, not on behalf of her own doll. So, maybe the mold is normally male, but if that owner who dressed that ordinarily male doll in a dress had modified the body, swapped the body, or otherwise wanted that doll to be taken as female, and the educated viewer, in their enthusiasm to "get it right," was insisting that the doll was in fact male because "Mold X is sold as a guy," I don't think there's a right for the viewer to get offended. The owner of the mold, however, would have every right to be upset that someone who thinks they know what the mold is is insisting their female doll is male.

This is something that just occurred to me, as the owner of three gender-swapped dolls, two of them male-to-female and one female-to-male. I wouldn't be happy about someone insisting to a third party that my female doll is male, just because they recognize the head as a male mold, and if someone "defended" my doll's perceived gender as vehemently as the OP has done to her sister, I'd be quite offended.

Ultimately, in a hobby with full freedoms, you really can't anticipate or account for every possibility, and for an honest mistake, I don't think there's any reason to get offended.

 

Offended? Maybe a little but if you are dressing your doll as the opposite gender, you have to expect the confusion and just go with it. . .
At work this lady came through with her baby and my co-worker asked "How old is she?" the customer gave him a cold stare and said in an angry tone "Well, HE is blahblah months" The baby was dressed in a ruffly pink thing.
=_=
I mean, as for dolls, if you give them long hair and they have an overall feminine look, it's okay if you can still see the lack of breasts. But if you give them an actual female DRESS then, yeah. I personally think you give up your right to be all-out offended.

 

I think your sister is right, It was only a accident that she called him a girl, besides, he was in a dress!

 

I don't think someone has a right to be offended by gender confusion when many male bjd look female already, and THEN you put them in a dress? 90% of people will assume they're female. Bonus points if the doll has a long wig. This is just how society differentiates between genders.

I find myself surprised sometimes to find out that so-and-so doll is male because the owner dresses him up in a dress, or his mold is generally female. And some people even turn males into females so it's all very confusing! I will admit, however, that I got a little annoyed at my mother when I was showing her certain dolls I was looking at and she went "Sorry, but they're all female." even when it stated that it was male, or they were wearing male clothing.

Basically: If you dress him in a dress and give him long hair, don't be surprised that people are calling him "her". The fact that a large percentage of male dolls are homosexual doesn't really help with deciphering their gender, either. As most people will see: dress, hair, paired with a guy = female.


s-sorry if this ended up a little off topic. And I'm sorry if I accidentally offended someone, I'm just throwing my two cents out there.

 

I have 2 male dolls that dress in female clothing. Leander is a DZ Yuu, but has a feminine face-up, long eyelashes, and wears strictly feminine clothing. He takes it as a complement to be called female and we never correct anyone. Zaki, my DZ Hid, sometimes wears dresses, sometimes not, but frequently gets mistaken for female. Again, neither I nor Zaki minds.

Now...when someone refers to my other boys as female, I do tend to correct them. I'm not rude or disrespectful, I just gently state that they are boys. Personally, I don't think my AoD Chen in a business suit looks like a girl....or my DZ Mo in jeans and a shirt.

I don't get offended, considering most ppl who have mistaken my boys for girls have never seen a BJD and the only male dolls they do recognize are Ken and GI Joe....lol

 

Everyone has a right to feel an emotion, though I don't think they should voice it in an over-the-top fashion. By dressing a male doll in a dress or other androgynous clothing, the doll owner SHOULD expect that the general public will assume he is a female. If they do become upset at this rational misconception, they should do their best to internalize it and lightly correct the error. However, if the same person keeps deliberately calling him a girl after being corrected, then the doll owner has more of a reason to be upset.

 

I know I am rather new but I thought I would post my two cents. Having a large doll collection myself and all of which are girls I have never had to correct anyone but if I did have a male that was slightly female looking and someone not apart of the doll community got him mixed up as a girl I wouldn't be offended because really they have no idea what they are looking at or for! That said I do see how it could be annoying. I have a very masculine looking female dog (bulldog) and even with nipples and a pink collar everyone calls her a him and it does get annoying......

 

I believe whole-heartedly with your sister. I've heard people complain and have just decided not to reply. These are dolls and people use the boys heads and put them on girl bodies, and put girl heads on boy bodies, dolls won't always have a lot of the characteristics that you can see through skin of the bone structure, therefore, doll heads are versatile to either be a girl or a boy. When you dress a doll in a dress and long wig, OF COURSE people are going to say "aw she's so pretty' when it's really a boy doll.

I'm not against you doing it, but please, if your doll is in a dress, don't be offended when I say "oh, she's so pretty."

If your doll is a transvestite or transgender(or wanting a sex-change), then people in real life as these could feel kind of offended that you use these in your doll (which is a toy). Unless, it is part of their story. And, transvestites in real life WANT to be mistaken for a girl/boy. I was watching an interview with a transvestite/gender(I can't remember, it was so long ago) and she(he) was describing a time when a little boy pointed at her to his mom and said "what a tall lady!". So, if your doll is supposed to have human characteristics and is a representation of a human, this shouldn't be a bad thing.

This was not meant to hurt anyone, but as much as some people get annoyed of mistaking their boys for girls, I get tired of hearing about it over and over, when it's self-inflicted.

 

Your "right" to feel offended ends where you care about not looking like a nut to everyone else. Everyone will thus have their own boundary.

 

agreed. i have a girl shiwoo and she gets called a boy constantly in the critique forums even tho i make sure almost all my photos show her boobs(dressed) i do get a little offended then but shake it off. if i thought someone was insisting my shiwoo was a boy to someone else insitantly like that i would be very offended. but when the boobs arent photographed i am not as bothered because i know that in this hobby, this skulpt is supposed to be a boy, so i expect it, even when i use "she" alot in my description

 

I get if you're a little annoyed if the doll is in obvious male clothes, because then it's more obvious that it's a man.
However, I do think your sister is right. The doll was in a dress/skirt, which makes him look more like a girl, especially since so many male molds are girly.
I'm not saying you can't dress a male doll up in girly clothes, but then you shouldn't be very surprised if people ask if it's a girl..
Of course, on the other hand I do understand the annoyance when it happens a lot..
Since my Lili is obviously female (She's slightly bigger in the chest department than some other girl molds) I don't have that problem..

 

I think they do have the right I mean, if a girl can wear jeans then a man can wear a skirt. And I know lots of guys who do!! I'm transgender, and am involved with a big LGBTQ group so I meet lots of diffrent people, and one thing I've learned is to think before you speak, Take a look at the doll, and listen to how his owner is adressing him! Dont immediatly label "GIRL" Sheeesh I know alot of people who'd scratch your eyes out if you did that to them.

Be a little more open-minded, and respect your peers~ 3

 

I actually don't see the point in getting so annoyed by it. She does have a point. The only time that it IS necessary is if they continue to say "she" even after telling them the gender. Then yes, I wouldn't blame the owner for getting annoyed. But to get mad at someone who made a mistake, it's not really their fault. I've actually made plenty of mistakes in thinking a male is in a dress, unless the face shape is too manly to be a girl then I would know. But I try my best not to make those mistakes and often just refer to the doll as "they" and if need be ask to make sure if it was a boy or girl. But it's only because I'm aware that people do crossdress their dolls. Not everyone will know right off, especially if they're not familiar with the dolls.

 

I always found this odd--that my friends are ever-so-amused that people mistook their boy dolls for girls. If you put a guy in a dress that's intended to flatter the female figure's curves, then yes, people will assume. It's not funny. It's not offensive. To me, anyway. If you wanna put your boy doll in a dress, go right ahead, but I find it odd when these people get upset at misconceptions. What were they expecting?

 

I would question WHY the owner felt offended. It sounds like the owner found it disparaging for their male doll to be regarded as female. Which would be disturbing to me, as if the male gender was being considered superior to the female gender even in the doll world. We've already had enough of that in the human history........

 

I've had a terrible problem with people mistaking one of my boys (RS Gang) for female, even though he dresses in (very obviously) male clothes and looks very, well, MALE to me. I wouldn't say that I'm honestly offended by it, but I DO find it ridiculously annoying. I'm sick of correcting people, and I'm sick of them arguing with me about how much they think he 'LOOKS LIKE A GIRL LOL'. Seriously, stop it.

I dunno, it just seems like people always want to be right, regardless of the situation. When you correct them they don't want to hear it, so they argue with you and try to get you to agree with their point of view. Frustrating.

 

Well, I agree with your sister. But hey, if you want to dress your boy doll all feminine just don't get frustrated with people because they are only curious and not trying to poke fun.

 

Wait! Suddenly I have a song from Rocky Horror stuck in my head!

Okay, silliness aside, I can understand what your sister is saying. On the other hand, while I'm easily annoyed by certain things, people making mistakes like that is not one of them. As a cosplayer I'm very unbothered by people mistaking my/my character's/whatever's gender, so maybe I'm not the right person to be answering.

Simple answer: Annoyed? Angry? Naaah. Why get so worked up? Just correct the person gently, but don't get upset about it. Wasn't the point to make the dolls look girly?

 

Well, I wouldn't feel offended. I'd just do the same as I do with my rather feminine styled drawings (Seriously, I need to learn to draw men properly) and nod and agree if someone's all "She's so pretty!!!" after all I have brought it on my self if said character has a skirt on, big eyes and ickle tiny hands.
I don't see the point of making a mountain outta a molehill. I will admit to having girly male characters and I made them that way because it's my preference and like I said, I cant draw menlymen....with face hair....and muscles. XD

My boy doesn't dress like a girl (aka dresses and such) but he does have a rather metrosexual style going on but in my case is someone was all "But why dont you dress him in manly clothes." I think I've got the very valid excuse of "His character is an art student." People tend to just go "Ohhhh. That makes sense."
I think it's the best excuse ever made!

"Why is that girl lying on the floor with a camera. She'll get dirty!"
"I dunno. Art student maybe?"
"Ahhhh, that'd make sense."

 

If it looks youthful/androgynous, and it's in typically feminine clothes, then it looks like a girl and it's only natural that people assume so. I think it's strange to feel offended if someone mistakes your character's/doll's gender if their character design is deliberately ambiguous. I think it is justified to feel offended that people are not listening to you if you have to keep correcting the same person, after showing irrefutable proof or otherwise, because that person is showing disrespect to you (as a person), and not because they're disrespecting the doll or stuff like that. :\

Personally, the actual physical gender of my dolls is of little concern to me. Two of them are meant to be genderless, housed in male bodies because (I don't like boobs) they are easier to crossdress convincingly. I might find it a little strange if people mistook, say, my salaryman!Chalco for a girl, simply because... well... what exactly are they looking at that makes them think it's female? ._. On the other hand, I would just feel a little sad if people mistook my girly!dress-wearing!Yder as a boy when it's in its pretty dresses and heels, because it would feel like I've failed in making it feminine enough... ): Never 'offended', though...