Do you have a right to feel offended?

Sure people have every right to feel whatever they want...but that doesn't mean it isn't a waste of their time and energy. Kinda pointless to be worrying about something like this in such a creative hobby. If people insist your doll is a girl and you really feel like pointing it out that they are so wrong, just show them their sculpted male bits and I'm sure they'll be convinced. *shrug*

 

When I brought my second doll home, he was naked. I had nothing to put him in, so I made him wear an American Girl nightgown (Samantha's, to be precise.) He actually looked kinda cute in it. Cute, but not girly, I didn't think. His hair was in a short bob and his face was very masculine (I thought).

My grandmother came over that evening, and when I showed him to her, she refused to believe that he was a guy, until I lifted the nightgown skirt and showed her his...male parts.

Was I offended about it? No. I thought it was pretty funny. I don't think mistakes are worth getting angry about. If someone mistakes a cross-dressed doll for the opposite gender, I'm liable to smile. After all, isn't that the point of cross dressing, as so many others have mentioned?

 

Just going to chime in with my thoughts here...

I own a doll that is constantly referred to as a "she" even though the character is a boy. It doesn't bother me at all - I don't even bother to correct others when they mix up his gender. His hair cut is a bit feminine and even though his outfit is a neutral color (green) he has pink hearts all over it. What do I expect?

So as someone who experiences this on a regular basis, I don't understand how it helps to get upset. I can understand why another hobbyist may get annoyed if s/he corrects someone on multiple occasions, but offended? I don't get it. People have a right to feel however they want, but to me getting hurt by something like that is a waste of time and energy.

 

Of course they have the RIGHT to be, but your sister is right: if they're dressing their male dolls in frilly, girly clothes, they should expect people to assume they are girls. It's their choice to dress them that way, which says to me that they're accepting the fact that people are going to confuse them for girls. It's stupid to get offended over something you chose with the knowledge that it will cause confusion.

Which is also why, when I introduce people to BJD's, I tell them "If there are no boobs, it's most likely a boy. No matter how it's dressed." XD

 

My mom thinks that every guy I show her online is a girl, just because most aren't overly muscular in any way.
I do think that people can be upset by it, but I think that if they are dressing their dolls in girly clothes than I don't blame people for thinking that they are girls.

 

I really have a hard time distinguishing which dolls are boys and which are girls sometimes so I understand your sister's point. If I make that mistake, I'd definitely apologize and try to use the correct gender in future conversations, but I hope they understand and don't get overly offended.

 

I don't see any reason to get angry to be honest. If I dressed all of my boy dolls in dresses I would even see them as girls.

I have made this mistake a few times but it wasn't my fault, not only was the boy doll wearing a dress but also had girl shoes on with a bow in the front and a hair ribbon around long flowing blond hair. Did she get angry when I said a few times.....she is beautiful referring to the boy doll....nope, we started to laugh about it.

 

$0.02 follows...

I don't think an owner should be getting upset when he/she deliberately dresses their boy doll up in clothing more associated with girls and people refer to the doll as a she.

That being said, it can get annoying when the boy doll is very obviously dressed as a boy and people still call him a girl just because he has slightly long-ish hair. I have that problem with Jasper all the time. I will forgive people seeing him for the first time and mistaking him for a girl - he does have soft features - despite him wearing pants, shirts and tennis shoes. He does have longer hair because short wigs just don't look nice on him. Once they're corrected, they usually stick with calling him 'he'.

I do have one or two friends however who keep insisting he's a girl, in spite of the fact they've been corrected; one of them went on and on about it for a good half an hour even after I pointed out clothing and the very flat chest; she finally shut up when I threatened to pull down his pants and prove he was a boy.... Instances like this, I think the owner has a right to be annoyed - I know I sure was.

 

Hell, I sometimes mistake human boys for girls, especially nowadays.

If a mom isn't offended that I call her son a "she" by mistake, I don't see why a doll owner should be. The doll doesn't have feelings to hurt.

(Don't tell Chae-ri I said that. e.e)

 

The only thing I feel I should point out, to those who are crying, "But he's dressed like a boy!" - girls wear those clothes too. It's been a very long time since we wore nothing but skirts and dresses.

 

Of course you have a right to feel however you want. That doesn't make it smart or a useful way to spend your time.
If you dress a male doll in frilly dresses and skirts, you are asking for people to assume it's a female, so getting upset is frankly, quite stupid.
On the other hand, there are some people who are themselves dumb enough to deny something you have told them, when you should be the only authority on it. If someone mistakes your doll for a girl, and you correct them, and they continue to insist that it's a girl in spite of what you said, then that can be very, very annoying, but I long ago learned there's no point wasting emotion on idiots.

My brother gets mistaken for a girl all the time. In spite of having a beard... He usually just laughs. There isn't much point in correcting random cashiers at the grocery store on your gender. It's not important, and would only embarrass them.

 

I don't get offended (ever) I let people think, feel, and act the way they wish.
If they think it looks like a girl. Let em think its a girl.

 

Okay sorry but as much as I love this hobby I stand FIRMLY on the statement that IF YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO CALL YOUR BOY A GIRL, DON'T PUT HIM IN A FRILLY DRESS.

Dresses (REAL DRESSES, I'm not talking kilts or kimonos or whatever) were made for WOMEN AND GIRLS. The fact that most bjds are very androgynous does not help at all!!!!
You do not have a right to be offended if you are intentionally putting your BOY in lolita dresses!!!

If you have a boy wearing just modern/urban clothing (skinny jeans and whatnot that both boys and girls can wear) I guess I understand how someone could be a LITTLE annoyed, but still, you have to admit it's hard to tell the difference to non-bjd owners, and you shouldn't get annoyed!!! Just because someone calls your boy a girl doesn't mean they don't like it or think it's not pretty!!

 

It personally doesn't sit well with me that doll owners put their boys in dresses and expect them to "visually" be seen still as a "boy". It's just common sense. But as a doll owner you can do whatever you want with your doll... just don't expect the rest of the word to understand your point of view at first sight.

 

I am offended when someone will look at one of my male dolls (Chalco or Morant), when they are in OBVIOUS male dress (.... except the Chalco, he has to wear a skirt because of the hooves), or they are SHIRTLESS, and someone says "Wow, your girls are gorgeous!" I did put my Morant in a couple of dresses at first, but mostly, it's been pants and tight-ish shirts, if any.

I did get upset with grandma over this, and in retrospect, I could have handled it better. She saw him for the first time (had barely looked at the sale photos before buying him for me), and after two MONTHS of me correcting her "She will look lovely in something cute!" "It's a boy, grandma", I finally gave up and said "Ya wanna know how I know it's a boy?"

Yeah, I flashed my grandma. I quickly covered him back up (Ohhhhh he was so mad!) and said "It's a boy, trust me, there's no questioning it!" She now asks before assuming, and finds it funny, 95% of my dolls have been boys, but she is still polite enough to ask first.

But when my Chalco, who is perpetually shirtless and in an egyptian style skirt, is questioned, it does upset me a lot, because beefymanisbeefy should be obvious, I would think. Now, when I put Mercutio in a frilly dress, did his hair, gave him fresh makeup, and placed him dantily in a chair, I was okay with the misconceptions, because that was the whole point--he wasn't that far from it. But when it's OH SO OBVIOUS, it does make me unhappy... I have had people assume my Morant is a girl when he's sitting in his thong on the table! it's like "Do you not see his bulge?"

 

I took my shirtless Soom Aphan out for pictures last weekend. A couple walking in the opposite direction kept shooting me odd looks. Finally I stood up and asked if everything was OK. They just wanted to know what was in my hands. Once I explained what "he" is they said "it's" a lovely doll, and practicing taking pictures of "it" is a good idea.

It! Not "he", or even "she". IT! But I wasn't offended. Technically they're correct: a piece of plastic, no matter how it looks, is still an "it". And I was flattered they thought he was lovely. I'll take complements over "OMG freaky girl with a doll" comments any day.

 

you got that right. Compliments beat freaky doll girl any day.


Anyway, I dont think its very offensive since its a natural thing because in my opinion if you look at all the sculps in a certain way the face ups usually give the doll a feminine quality to it. After all, usually faceups have like whats the equivalent to eyeliner in people and you know males usually dont wear guyliner and have glossy lips. Not anyone in my school anyway XDD

 

As much as I can get annoyed at times, I never show it, and it never bugs me that much.

I mean...people normally assume ((except me; I'm a werido like that)) that girls wear the girly clothes and guys wear guy clothes; they wouldn't think that someone would intentionally dress a boy in girl clothes. ((...again I guess I'm a weirdo since I do. O_e;; ))

So....yeah. Nothing to really get THAT upset over. Especially if it's someone you don't know too. In my case, I just let people think my doll's a girl when they say so, but if it's my parents or friends, I'd be like "It's a boy you know...." ((By now, my parents and friends already know this. ^^ )) Even with people I know though, I don't make a big deal. ^^

If anything, because I'm weird like that, I actually feel kinda happy. Since I intentionally make my doll crossdress.
And I just ordered my first BJD; I got intentionally picked a boy with a more girly looking face sculpt because I want to crossdress him and confuse people.

 

My boy is girlie, and I know it. I like androgyny and my boy has that aesthetic so xD; I would get a little annoyed if someone repeatedly called him a girl, but it's just a doll. If they want to think he's a girl, so be it.
But if you dress your boy in frilly dresses, long wigs, faceups with make up, painted nails, and even girlie panties, and then you get offended about someone calling him a girl. That just makes me laugh. I'm sorry but if the doll doesn't even have the slightest bit of masculinity you really can't expect them to be, "Oh, a crossdressing boy." Especially if they're not familiar to the hobby.

If you're really bothered by people not thinking your doll is just an effeminate boy, don't go all out. If you don't care, then go ahead.

 

I agree that we should expect people to think a doll in a dress is a girl. I'd just let it roll of me and joke about how pretty he is or something. I would understand if it's the same person over and over calling the same boy a girl, though >___< THAT would annoy me.