Do you have a right to feel offended?

Serenitatis gets mistaken for as a girl a LOT; but I generally don't bother to correct people unless I'm showing my friends. I have never got offended at all. Actually, I always laugh it off- even if they continue to say a character/doll looks like a girl because... well, social norm- they DO.

I wouldn't get offended unless my views were attacked or people got rude with me after finding out my boy doll was not, in fact a girl or went so far as to insult me/my views.

I avoid telling strangers the true gender of him, though, because I really don't like to start debates/arguments with people I don't know. o.-

 

I have two boys and though, I haven't put them in a dress, I do have plan on make a costume for their background story(? more like an event in their lives) purpose. And if someone called him girly, I'm totally prepared for it! I'll list on the photo that's he's a boy but probably won't bother correcting anyone if they mistook for a girl because I thought most male bjd look feminine. =/ Or just a tad girly enough that they can pull of a dress as good as any other females.

 

I'm not offended by this at all. My father has seen my male dolls nude and bald and still insists that they're all girls, but it doesn't bother me. If somehow a stranger saw them, I wouldn't even correct them about the gender.

 

my friend doesn't offend me , they know i'm collect dollfie dream and they say there're cute but it tooooo expensive
but i have a little problem about family , so i keep them away from family so there are no problem now. but in the future i don't know

 

If I dressed my boy in a lovely skirt, I won't be offended when people calling 'she'. I perfectly understand because he become so beautiful and girly lol. Maybe I won't even correct about the wrong gender. I admit skirt is considered as girl's thing in this world.

But.. if my boy dressed as a boy and people say how cute she is, I'll tell that he is a 'he'.
I'll only become angry if someone is rude about my boy.

 

The gender binary (dress=girl, sports cap=guy) is ingrained in each one of us (the owners of girly boys...call them "girly," right?). They're attributing gender qualities to a character, and whether they "like" it or not, that's how the world will perceive them. Maybe this is just coming from having a few trans friends, but--if a guy dresses like a girl, he wants to be referred to as a girl/woman/lady, and vice versa, if a girl dresses like a boy, she would want to be addressed as "he/him/sir." Both these cases, I might add, would be examples of people intending to dress as the opposite gender (a girl putting on some slacks and a cap just because wouldn't count..).

Yes, true, maybe their character isn't transgender, but is instead genderqueer, and actively trying to test society ("Wearing a dress does not make me a girl!"), but I think (and this probably won't be eloquent) that it's stupid when people go about trying to challenge people's perceptions, but then get up in arms when it just confuses people, or doesn't change their preconceived notions.

One thing I keep thinking back to is this one time I heard my friend's roommate griping on the phone to someone. He talked about how this one night at a drag show, while he was in drag, a guy approached him and asked about certain--male anatomy. Eheh. I remember watching him pace back and forth, so! indignant, saying, "If I am dressed as a lady, you address me as a lady! You wouldn't ask that to a woman."

 

I think it's ok to make the gender mistake once. But if that person then goes on to tease about the 'girliness' of my boy, or even to rudely go 'ewwww but it's got long hair!!!' then I am allowed to be offended. I find it sort discriminatory too, for them to demonstrate such distaste for a 'feminine boy'.

 

Admittedly I draw the line at girly skirts and dresses, but when your male doll is wearing just jeans and a t-shirt, I get super annoyed by the gender confusion. I understand bishies get a little getting used to but i hate it when people make such a big deal about how girly they look. They're alittle bit prettier than the average boy, not girler! I don't know if we have a right to get annoyed, but I know I sure do.

 

If a doll is cross dressing I would not be offended if some one thought he was a girl. I think I would be flattered that I had done a convincing job. Though to be honest most of these dolls can pass as girls. For most people doll=girl unless they know what they are looking at. I don't waste my time getting worked up about what a random person thinks of my doll. Usually when I politely say "actually he is a boy" the person is a bit flustered or embarrassed by their mistake and goes on to try to say something about how "handsome" he is to make up for it. I would never be offended unless some one was purposefully being rude. If I were to get worked up about one of my male dolls being confused for a girl I couldn't take my oldest son out in public. The poor child has been mistaken for a girl since birth and he will turn 10 tomorrow. I don't think anyone ever guesses his gender correctly on first meeting him but he doesn't let it get him down or change the way he dresses or wears his hair. He just corrects people and goes on his way. I do the same with the dolls.

 

Mmm... I personally think that you have the right to be offended if the person continuously repeats that he's a girl? When you already corrected them. I mean I don't think you should be annoyed/mad at people that made a mistake the first time they commented because it can be rather confusing.

I think that if you personally don't want others to be stating that your Doll is a girl when he's actually a boy, you should mention it in your post or say it beforehand. Of course some people might not even look at it or maybe they could have missed it, but at least it'll save some confusion for some people.

 

yes it is ok to feel offended

 

May be for someone it's ok to feel offended. For me, it's not worth it. Ppl close to me know I've boys. Others can think whatever they want, I don't care. Why would I?

 

Umm...I think anyone has the right to feel offended.
I don't think they have the right to raise a shitstink about it though, not in the example you've stated...
it's like a transvestite or drag queen flipping out on someone because they called him a 'she'. If you're wearing the clothes to make you look like the other gender, people are going to assume, especially if you have a girly face to begin with (as so many of these dolls do) It makes no sense. So keep it to yourself

 

I personally find it silly to be offended by someone thinking my boy doll is a girl, even if he's dressed up in clothing that very obviously makes him look masculine and doesn't have very feminine features. After all, its a doll that has no feelings. What is really so offensive about it? At least 90% of the bjds out there can be made into both a girl or a boy and look perfectly fine either way. Its difficult for a non bjd person to tell the difference, especially when many people use Long wigs on their boys. And even within the hobby, there are male sculpts that will always look more feminine 'to me.

 

My friend's Tybalt (SD Chiron) is constantly being called 'she', even though the only thing that could be considered 'girly' about him is his long hair. I think there's just an assumption of non-doll people assuming that dolls of any sort are typically female, which is fair enough. And most people, when corrected, are just like, "Oh, ok, sorry." It's the ones who try to argue with you about it who need to be slapped. Its lucky that poor Tybbie doesn't mind having his pants pulled down on a regular basis to prove just how manly he is

 

Boy dolls pretty in pink?
OK let me start off by saying 'Real male dolls wear pink!' But all joking aside, I totally agree with what you have said here. You cannot expect to dress your male dolls like girls and expect people not to call them girls. I am a lover of ultra masculine male dolls and I try my best to customize my guys to make them as butch as possible. I do not even like male sculpts that look like prepubescent boys because that to me, is a little out there! I try to stay away from sculpts that are overly androgynous or look too feminine to be male. I get facial hair added to their face ups just so there can be no doubt.

In thinking of this topic some more, I guess I would sort of be offended if someone thought my Iplehouse EID Kamau (70 cm) was a girl. Although he may have long dred locks (NOT in fantasy pink), with the facial hair and the other features, like the superhero muscular body, and height, there is no way you could honestly mistake him for a girl (it has never happened). If someone looked at him and asked if he were a girl, I would really look at them sideways and wonder if they were an idiot or if they were just being funny in a successful attempt to annoy me!

 

Honestly, I wouldn't get offended. A lot of male dolls I see look very feminine to me. I have a male doll, and since he wears his shirt open, he hasn't been mistaken as a girl even with his long long hair. But I can see where people get that. Also if you stick your handsome boy into a dress, people will first think it's a girl rather than a feminine boy in a dress.

The only time I would get offended is if the same person repeatedly refers to a male doll dressed in men's clothing as "she", now that would get annoying. It's the same with pets. For example, when you see a cat and you assume its the wrong gender, you get corrected, right? But if you keep making the mistake over and over, the owner will get annoyed. I think the same goes for the dolls because the dolls are our babies in a sense.

 

I do sympathize with people whose boy dolls don't cross-dress, but wear typical "boy clothes" (as well as male dolls considered to be 'manly men') and are still seen as girls. My BBB Apollo, Stephen, doesn't cross-dress and - in my opinion - I don't see how he could be mistaken for a girl. Now, I haven't taken him out with me anywhere, so I can't test my theory, but I can see how someone would get upset if their non-cross-dressing boy was mistaken for a girl. I don't see it OK to lash out at someone for the mistake, though.

I can also understand why the same people might not remember your 'she' is actually a 'he'. It might be a legitimate case of forgetting if you don't see each other often, or if your doll family is such that it might be hard to remember.

 

Could you get offended by it? Sure. Should you throw a fit about it though? Not really. Most people outside the hobby aren't used to guys with long hair (even RL guys with it will get called girly, it's not just a doll thing) so it's fairly understandable, in my opinion, that someone other than you might make that mistake, even if he's in guy clothing- because afterall girls do come flat chested and are able to wear the same clothing guys can, so I can understand the confusion. And personally, if you deliberately put him in feminine clothing, you're totally asking for it and shouldn't get upset when someone makes that mistake- how would they know, honestly?

On top of the fact that the closest thing most people have come to a male doll is Ken or his military counterpart, Joe, our dolls are totally alien to them. And even our big manly men are really dang pretty, almost too pretty for their own good. I would hazard a guess that it's their idealized pretty-ness that throws people off.

I've not had this issue since all of my dolls are female except for one, who is genderless. Since my one is genderless, you could call him a he, she, it, bojangles, whatever and I would not care nor would I correct you. I might look at you funny if you got one of the girls confused for a guy though.


All "you"s are general.

 

There's been plenty of dolls I've shown to various family members and friends who have been male dolls and their responses are "she's so pretty" "she's beautiful" and I don't feel the need to be offended. I just tell them no it's a boy. Then I get the question "Why does he look so much like a girl" A lot of the companies have very feminine males and as dollie collectors and admirers we have come to accept that and love it and for some of us it is what attracts us to certain dolls, but then we have to accept that they will be mistaken for girls constantly, especially if we choose to dress them that way (in dresses, shirts, with long hair, etc) I mean I have my James who was wearing a suit and had his brown wig on and everyone swore he was a girl.
Again, I didn't get offended, just told them he was a boy. Now he's wearing his punk outfit but still looks very girlish...it's just his mold....I love that about him so it doesn't offend me when he gets called a girl. My aunt and I debated it one time so much so I undressed him just to prove to her he was a boy and then she was like "okay okay, he's a boy." lol.

I just picked out a set of dolls from Only-Doll , three males however the one looked like it should have been a female so I requested a body change for him and now he's coming to me as a female...and all of them are dressed in kimonos (I had to buy the full-sets because they are gorgeous) but I know they will all be referred to as girls constantly...ah well. They're amazing though so that's okay. The world can think they're female but I'll know the truth! lol.

So that's my two cents, hope it doesn't offend anyone.