Do you have a right to feel offended?

Unless someone is insisting your male doll is a girl and insulting you for saying otherwise, I don't think there's a need to be offended. It was most likely an honest mistake.

I took my boy Arlian with me to a craft store to see if I could find some doll shoes that fit him (the ones I found were almost big enough... drat!). While at checkout, the girl who was ringing us up said "that's a pretty doll. Did you make her?"
Arlian is currently wearing really loud orange and red corduroy pants and matching dread hairfall pigtails... and he does have an awful lot of eye makeup. He's a DZ Yuu, and out of all my boys I think his face is the most masculine, but I can see how someone who has never seen a BJD might think he was a girl. I didn't get offended... it was an honest mistake. I told her "no... I wish I had! But I just brought him along to find some shoes. He has barefoot manfeet."

My sister says they're all girls even though she knows they're boys, but that doesn't offend me either (and she doesn't mean it in a mean way). These are not the kind of dolls we grew up with in our western youth. Male dolls were highly distinguishable from female dolls, even if you put them in a dress. ((Ken in a dress. Picture it. )) Unless you're into the hobby or have become accustomed to seeing feminine men in anime, it's likely you're not going to be able to tell the difference. I play "girl or boy?" with my mom every time I show her a picture of someone's doll. She can usually tell because of all the anime I've subjected her to, but a few years ago she wouldn't have been able to.

I made the mistake of calling a boy doll a girl at a past convention. It was a mold that was typically a girl and that I've been used to seeing as a girl forever and ever... and I just assumed. Oops! I was corrected and I apologized... I didn't mean it in an offensive way. I'm glad she didn't get offended by it (and if she had I would have felt really awful ).

 

Coming from me it would be an honest mistake. If it looks, acts, and quacks like a duck, I'm probably going to assume it's a duck. If you correct me and say it's a swan, I'll apologize and accept it's a swan. I hope nobody would be offended by that.

 

Most of my boy dolls have hair past their shoulders, but they dress in very boyish-clothes - jeans, collared shirts, slacks, t-shirts...you get the idea. But they always get mistaken for girls because of their long hair and soft features. [Even my Hound got called a girl! XD;;] Only those outside of the hobby have made this mistake though because they aren't used to the idea of a boy with such soft features and long flowing hair. I used to flip out alot and make alot of noise, but I've since realized it's pretty normal and just let it be. Of course if they still insist on being snide after I correct them, then I won't continue the conversation. But of course the times I do put my boy, Dex, into a dress, I get endlessly amused by him getting called a girl because hey, he's convincing enough

Way to make a sweeping statement. >_>; I have about 3 boy dolls who do not wear dresses and hate dresses, and wear boy briefs. Yes, they may not be straight but they don't behave like those individuals in yaoi fandom. Not all yaoi fangirls are sick.

 

I don't care about what you like or not...

But it's quite obvious that an yaoi fan that have dolls probably will have yaoi dolls

And... someone thet's not an yaoi fan probably won't have yaoi dolls

...since we create our dolls characters with our personal taste ._.'
(but I have one that's not gay and hate gays i_i'' even liking yaoi myself)

 

I wouldn't be offended if someone mistaken the gender of one of my dolls but I'd be very surprised since they don't cross dress. Even though the SD female wears a short wig, and the SD boy wears a long one. I suppose male dolls is a foreign idea, since people have been bombarded with Victorian girls, Barbies, etc, and thus people are stuck in a certain mindset. If people don't know male dolls exist, they would assume all dolls are girls. I don't equate ignorance with stupidity, rather a lack of knowledge and awareness.

 

While I do agree people have the right to be a tad offended, they also made the choice to put their dolls in dresses and make them look more femmie. I for one have a very gay boy. He likes dresses and long hair. He's always mistaken for a female. Does it bother me? A little bit... Do I really care in the long run? No. I actually correct people and tell them why. Giving people a little bit of information on something is a lot better than becoming all offended.

However when it comes to my 70 cm boy Adonis, who is clearly a guy...when he gets called a girl...that ticks me off. I understand he has longer hair than what is "expected" on guys, yes...but his obvious upper arm muscles and back muscles that show through his shirt should give it away....if anything his abs should too. He looks manly. I get higly pissed when people go. "Oh my gosh she's so pretty." I go no, that's a boy. I got him a shorter wig than his previous one because of that issue. He also had clothes that showed off his CHEST! >.< Oooh some people can be so blind.

Anyway, I think if it's obvious that the doll is either male or female you have the right to be annoyed or ticked off. If it's not obvious, then you can't complain.

I'm highly offended by this comment. I have two very straight, non-cross dressing, male dolls. They both wear boxers and LOOK manly. While yes I have a gay doll, that's his character. I am a yaoi fangirl. I'm not sick. Perhaps you shouldn't bunch Yaoi fangirls up like that? You never know who you're offending.

 

While it can be annoying, the culture of the general populace needs to be taken into consideration.

Dressing a male doll in feminine clothing *especially* if the figure already looks a bit feminine itself is going to look female to most people.

It's kind of like if someone dresses their baby boy in pink. If the parent gets annoyed because everyone thinks it's a girl, he/she should really rethink what they're doing and either stop dressing the kid in that fashion or to deal with the unwanted reactions.

The same goes with dolls. You have a choice in what you dress them in.

 

I can understand someone who isn't a BJD hobbyist or an anime fan being confused, since a lot of dolls have a more feminine look to their faces. I have a male character who is going to be a doll who has very long hair and prefers to wear yukata, and I wouldn't be surprised if people assumed he was female because of it. I would correct them gently, but I wouldn't be offended. On the other hand, I have a character who may be a doll someday (but not for a long time if so) who actually is a male who crossdresses and identifies as female, so I would prefer people to assume s/he is female, since that's what s/he identifies as. Thus I can see it both ways, where someone with very girly gay characters would look at my girly character and know it's a male sculpt and a male body and use male pronouns, when actually I prefer them to use female pronouns for her.

It's something you should expect if you're going to do something that isn't what's considered "normal". We all may rage against the label of "normal" because certain aspects of our lives fall outside of it, but it's a societal label, so we can't very well change it by ourselves. XD

 

Sometimes... I can't tell the gender... *looks around to make sure no one is swinging at her* O_o

I think you either choose to educate people and explain what the gender is and why they dress the way they do... or you choose to leave people out of the loop... either way... I think the question about gender in some dolls is totally natural...

If my husband went out in a dress... I'd expect a lot of questions... just saying...

 

I know! I get really annoyed when my friends and family members insist that my boy's a girl, just because he has his long wig on! (And reeeeaally feminine features.) He was wearing pants, and a vest and coat, for crying out loud! He wasn't even in a kimono (which might lend itself to some gender-misconceptions), and they still insisted that he looked like a girl! Huff.

 

I don't mind... so it happens, I admit some of my molds do look a bit girly, but I try to dress them up as much as boys as I can

If people comment to them as a 'she' I'll tell them simply it is a boy. If they don't believe me... WELL off go the pants! :'D

 

Abishai is a boy. He is a very (very) girly boy, and takes grand pride in this fact. In my head, the answer I always hear whenever people ask if Shai's a girl is "Want me to lift my skirt? ?" So, really, I don't get annoyed the first time or two someone asks me if he's a girl. However, after telling the same person more than once -- in the same conversation, no less! -- that no, really, Shai's a boy, he prefers to be called a boy and just likes girly clothes, if that person insists on calling him a girl, that's when I find it to be disrespectful.

But on first glance? People outside the BJD world just aren't going to get it. It's saddening (I'm very big on genderqueer and love it when people challenge gender roles), but unfortunately the majority of people out there are just going to assume.

 

Well, when it comes to Luken, I don't think I'll ever come across that problem. Whoever would consider HIM a girl should go and get their eyes checked. *lol* That's the good thing about Unidoll's Ark ...

As for other dolls, I mistook a boy for a girl, once. He was wearing a violet komono and had long hair and he's also one of those more feminine-looking molds. The owner corrected me but I don't think she was offended. As for cross-dressing dolls - imo, no one should be offended if they're mistaken for girls by someone who hasn't previously seen them or been told they're boys. How are they to know, after all? I'd mistake them for girls, too! However, if someone insists on a boy being a girl despite knowing better, and in a mean way (not as a joke), then I understand when people get offended. I'd be offended, too, in their place.

 

You know what I think is annoying? People who are constantly crying over non-bjd people referring their male doll in a long wig and loli dress as a girl. Are you honestly not able to comprehend why someone would think that? For the most part these boy dolls are very slender and femenine with thin noses and long eyelashes and if they're wearing a dress and a girly wig how is anyone supposed to know? And to think that someone would actually take offense to that, of all the ridiculous things!

 

Definitely agree. XD If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you're gonna have to leave the skirt pulled up to convince anyone it's a boy at first glance. And that would be sort of inappropriate.

 

I agree with you sister 100%. In most societies women wear dresses, so when you see a doll in a dress you assume it's a girl. Also a lot of these male dolls have soft features which is also considered feminine.

My dolls are mistaken for girls a lot even though they aren't and they don't wear dresses either.

 

I think it's funny that everyone got so upset with MaskTheEnd's statement, yet no one minds if someone creates a thread saying that they don't want to be seen as a 'goth' because it's a negative schism and they're horribly offended by it.

LMFAO.

 

I'm with your sister on this issue.

Teddy

 

I understand where they come from. I mean, it is annoying, since theo nly clothes my boy has are the default clothes (bellyshirt + harem-like pants + lace-up knee-high boots), his harem-boy halloween costume (pleather cincher/corset, matching armband, long loincloth, face mask), and a kimono tha'ts black and red (that is easily mistaken for--you guessed it--a dress). But usually people are hesitant to assign him a gender when I take him out somewhere, usually saying "it" as opposed to he/she until I make it clear of a gender. I think he looks boyish, then agan, I'm used to "bishonen" in anime/manga.

So yeah. I gets annoying, but it's nothing to get bent out of shape, until someone tries to ARGUE the gender of the doll. Happens more then you think. At which point, I'm like, "You know, I don't have doll-underwear. Do you want me to show you his man-bump?"

Any Dollzone owners here should understand what I mean. x3

 

Do people really argue doll gender?

I've never heard first hand experience to prove it.