Do you have a secret doll?

Mar 4, 2021

    1. I was pondering the idea of having a secret doll, a doll I keep to myself and don't share on social media at all. Of course I enjoy sharing my hobby with others on social media and connecting to other people, but what if there was one doll that I didn't and kept him/her all to myself?
      Do any of you have a doll you prefer to keep to yourself and not share a lot? Does it help you bond more with the doll and/or character or does sharing it with others help you bond with it more?
       
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    2. Most of my dolls are sort of like that. I used to feel like I had to publicize my collection in order to be a “real” collector, but now I just have 50 dolls sitting on my shelves who I may or may not have ever introduced to anyone other than my friends and family. Honestly, it has helped me bond with them a lot better. Personally, I feel like my dolls are more mine because I’m their main admirer. Secret definitely isn’t the word I’d assign to them, but they’re definitely not out there in the world. Well, maybe they’ll chill on the lawn with me or something, or take a little trip to Dunkin‘ Donuts, but they’re not IG famous, lol. :)
       
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    3. I'm too lazy to upload any picture on my social media haha
       
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    4. I would say all my dolls are "secret" from my co-workers and friends who aren't into collecting anything. Obviously if they were to see where I have them, then yeah, not so secret! I know I haven't posted all of my dolls here - it is a longer term goal haha. I don't know if them having photos up vs not makes me bond better. I find the more I dress them or change their eyes or their wigs, the more I bond with them. If I take them out for photos more often, then the bond is stronger.
       
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    5. Actually, I find that if I’m taking lots of pictures and sharing a particular doll more on social media, it means I have a great love for that doll. Like I want to show them off. It’s not the sharing that makes me love them more, though, just more of an indicator of how I’m feeling towards a particular doll. When I find that it has been a long time since I’ve photographed a doll, I usually take it as a sign that it’s time to move them on to a new home.
       
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    6. I guess that makes most of my dolls 'secret' then! :sweat

      When I first got into BJDs I would take and post lots of pics, and box openings. Now.... I can't really be bothered to do so... I still love my dolls and post the occasional doll photo online, but it's just not a priority.

      (I guess it's kind of like how people say when you have a first child, you'll take tons of photos to document their every move and developmental milestones then when you have a second or third...)
       
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    7. I'm pretty much exclusively a secret collector lol. No one aside from my partner and my son (whos 14 months) knows I collect dolls. One of my girlfriends came over the other day and I had some American fashion dolls lined up next to our bed. I don't know if she noticed them but she didn't say anything. I don't take photos of my dolls like I did when I was originally in this hobby some 9 years ago. Then I took lots of pictures but I only really put them on like flickr. I can't really remember what else I did with the photos honestly. It sounds awful, but I feel like I would be judged by my community if I put them on my social media. I have a somewhat sizable following. But I don't mind them being secret, eventually though I would like to share them with close friends.
       
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    8. I kinda do and i had great plans for them but then i got uninspired by it sonow its just collecting dust hh. Its just a cheap head tho... I might mod it but compared to the other heads i own this one seems bigger
       
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    9. LOL. The struggle is real!
       
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    10. seconded. major mood. My children are large so setting them up requires me to move half the stuff in my room so unless i have a good 2 or 3 hours undisturbed I rarely shoot them. doesn't help that I also store them naked to prevent staining so they have to be re-dressed from scratch every time.

      dollmeets are fun though! So my public activity for them is None At All For Months® or 500 Shots From A Single Setup© there is no in-between
       
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    11. I swear, I just have 1 picture to let people know my IG account is not fake or that I'm not a scammer because I contact face up artists or sellers there, but anyway I also give my DoA account as a second assurance, so if they want they can verify I'm not lying.

      Also, this. I didn't consider this at first when I started this hobby but I really, really despise dressing up BJD. It's so annoying.
       
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    12. I only keep my dolls "secret" when they're still nude and out of the box. I'm a bit too shy to show them like that to friends lol. Even when I do share I'm like "hm....that could have waited until they wore something"
       
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    13. Definitely too many secret dolls for me. My whole collection is kept all to myself for more than 13 years since I've got no time to manage a proper social media account :doh Now I sometimes even lost track of my dolls and forgot where they are........ sad.
       
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    14. I love this idea. One of the non-doll interest I have is how social media changes how we think and feel

      (one book I have starts by discussing how the invention of the clock and the book changed the way the human brain functions; and so the internet is the same, for example, it's nonlinear, it's international, its asynchronous - we're talking, you and I, but I can't hear your voice, so who or what am I talking to - how is my brain processing the fact that we are having a conversation - one with huge time-gaps in it - like, does my brain think you're a person with the same person-ness as the people I live with, or what? How is it even interpreting what we're doing here?)

      So I do think a lot about how sharing my hobby time, craft projects, inner thoughts not merely with others but with the infinite void-sea of instagram impacts my mood and how I relate to myself. It's one reason I closed my "emotional oversharing social media" accounts and got a paper diary instead; and don't take photos for the internet when I go on walks any more, to see if this cultivates a deeper sense of physical-presence and in-the-moment-ness, a greater sense of inner privacy and reflection.

      So yeah, I feel like having a "secret doll" could be a very self-loving thing - even just as a short-term experiment - at seeing what it's like to have your pleasure in the hobby disconnected from other people's feedback, judgement, or the gaping chasm of having no likes.

      (it goes without saying that this is no judgement on people who enjoy sharing a lot; I certainly find a lot of benefit in parts of the internet experience; but yeah, the fact you feel somehow pressured to share, so much so that you feel unsure about stopping, and you want a forum post to give you a kind of permission not to do so - IMO, this is kind of what I mean about the always-online, internet-as-extension-of-the-brain/phone-as-extension-of-the-hand seepage of the digital into the psyche. Why would you need permission to have a part of your life that's private, yours, for nobody else's consumption or judgement?)

      Get a secret doll, see what happens :3nodding:
       
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    15. I have very unsteady hands, I can't take pictures to save my life even though it interests me. I can work really hard on trying to take a good picture and it looks a lot like those quick pics people snap in order to show off a new arrival they are super excited about. Because of this I rarely take photos of my own dolls. I don't mind when other people take photos at meet ups or I'll ask my husband to snap a few photos when people are curious about a doll company that I own but otherwise my collection is really my own secret collection.

      I've actually been accused of "not being in the hobby" by collectors online because I don't post my dolls anywhere...which is funny because I actively attended (and now organize) local meetups where I tend to rotate through which dolls I bring. I think that the idea of a doll that you solely keep to yourself is great, but if you get enjoyment from sharing online then that is fine too. At times I wish I could take awesome photos like the ones I enjoy viewing online but keeping my dolls to myself doesn't make my time in the hobby any less enjoyable.
       
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    16. This is an interesting topic...

      Sometimes I feel disappointed when I'm very fond of a doll but the reaction towards him or her on social media or Den of Angels is rather small.

      I found myself questioning my work: maybe my view is subjective, I might think of this doll as great but others don't - so this doll might be just average.

      I think the reaction can influence the view you have on your doll and you start ranking them differently.
      This aspect made me sometimes consider to not show them to persevere my own view on them.

      I don't want my love to be influenced.
      But on the other hand I think I can't stop posting the photos of my dolls on social media because I have a desire to share what I like with everyone...
       
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    17. I don't share my dolls either, so I guess they're all 'secret' lol. I have a few doll profiles here on Doa, but that's about it. I just can't be bothered to take photos and share on social media. It's pretty much how I am with all my collections.
       
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    18. I have a secret doll mostly because I live with a very sweet, very artistic kid who would LOVE them if she knew they existed and would destroy them. She'd convince herself it'd be a cool surprise to make my doll clothes, strip her, measure her and then leave her wherever (Outside, on the floor, smuggled away to a friend's house?) and forget about it. She'd watch one youtube video on faceups and decide she was helping by wiping my current one, then try to fix it. She'd make it some to scale food and do a picnic photoshoot and then leave everything in the park when some friends walked by.

      It feels a little cruel hiding a whole hobby from her, but for real, she can't handle the responsibility.
       
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    19. I used to be a a really addicted Facebook user, and gradually exited that life quite a few years ago. I'm happy with the effort I put into making that change, so I work hard to keep my social media use inside of a smaller box within my life. I remain pleased with my personal level of social media interaction, but using it does take more intentionality than back when I just did whatever with it and found myself so sucked into it.

      And sure enough, that intentionality based on that dive into what was best for me has helped to maintain the effect of social media on my mental health to be positive or at least just neutral generally. So I think I'm on the right track.

      So I don't necessarily keep dolls secret, I just maintain my sharing at a level that is manageable and not overwhelming for me from a logistical perspective. I try to remind myself that what I share is *for me* and to increase my joy in the hobby. I consider the avenues for sharing as tools... more than a place to collect "likes" ... although, who can deny that it is fun to have your stuff be liked! :kitty2

      For the sake of specificity, the way I handle it generally follows these approximate guidelines:
      • Share dolls when I'm enthusiastic about them or feel "ready" to share. Don't pressure myself to share dolls I am wondering what to do with yet.
      • Use available internet/social media tools or information areas to keep portfolio/collection/reference information *only* if I feel it's helpful to me.
      • My Instagram is for my business/brand, so I have a set of rules about when I post certain kinds of posts (business related during the week; side projects/my doll collection or sharing other artist's work on the weekend).
      • ....And for the sake of completeness, I do push myself to share even when I'm a little uncomfortable with my business related progress, because the intent is to slowly build my marketing avenues. So that's justified to me, since it's for a larger intent than just whether I'm doing personal social media. I put that behavior in a different box in my mind.
      I tend to operate better with general schedules and guidelines for things, so having those overarching methods honestly makes me feel much more free from social media than if I were to just go with the flow.
       
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    20. I used to pressure myself into sharing my dolls years ago, but noticed how uncomfortable I was with some of them. Mostly, because I couldn't depict them properly "in character". Sometimes they were lacking something that I couldn't afford or had no motivation or time to change yet. But I also felt like I would neglect them if I didn't share at least a few pictures. On the other hand, I take shootings quite seriously in a way, that they are supposed to tell a story or show characteristics of my dolls.
      Obviously that's counterproductive if I am to show a certain doll, that is not ready yet.
      So I stopped doing that. I usually never show bo's anymore, since I mostly transform my dolls once I get them. Even with real shootings I will browse trough them, sometimes for weeks and decide rather spontaneous how I feel about them and if I want to show my doll to the world eventually.
      I am also not afraid of what people think about them or anything. My dolls are not that unusual to begin with. It's really rather my personal ambition to show my characters in the right way. So, after all, half of my dolls is secret for now, and I am fine with it.
       
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