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Do you seek comfort from your dolls over friends?

Mar 13, 2010

    1. Today, this:

      "Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML"

      was posted on Fmylife.com, and (though I laughed for a VERY long time at it) it got me curious about how many of us (this girl was obviously a BJD collector) would actually skip right past a living person to confide in our little resin buddies. :)

      So the question is:

      How many of you would prefer to speak to your dolls when you're having a hard time than speak to, say, a friend of boyfriend?

      Does this affect your relationship with those people?
    2. Playing with dolls can ease your mind without having anyone talking to you...
      Though I like getting a hug to be comforted... I don't like the talking, so I'd rather be with dolls in that case.
      Still, I don't think I would run past someone, if that person wanted to comfort me.

      Some people prefer to be alone when sad...
      But in the example you gave... I kind of understand the person, because his/her girlfriend chose her dolls over him/her... I can imagine that hurts.
    3. How many of you would prefer to speak to your dolls when you're having a hard time than speak to, say, a friend of boyfriend?
      Well, as far as confiding in people goes, I never really did anyway, I'm not too great with all the emotional stuff, so dolls, I find alot better, also dolls can't spread rumours. I grew up teaching myself not to show people what I really felt, but thats just how I am. But I wouldn't blank someone offering me comfort.

      Does this affect your relationship with those people?
      Not at all, It's as it always has been.
    4. I think it would depend, for me, on just what the situation's about?
      For some things in life, big things, then perhaps I'd go to my friends or my mother. For just miserably moody days, my doll gives me some semblance of comfort. Though I will say that it's not as effective as talking to my family.
    5. Umm....no. I'd only hang out w/my dolls for comfort if there wasn't a real person available, even by phone.
    6. I have yet to get my first doll (he's shipped!), but I think I might. Talking to people leaves you vulnerable and the things you say can be passed around to others.
    7. It really depends on the situation and what I'm upset about. If I need advice in addition to venting/crying, I'm probably going to choose a person. If I just need quiet time and a bit of a solitary cry, then I'll probably go with my dolls.
    8. It depends if my friends were there or not.
    9. I don't confide in my dolls as in the example. I'd rather spend time with a person I care about when upset, to talk to them and be comforted...but once I have been as comforted by that as I can be, I like to work on or with my dolls. They make a nice distraction, something to do, while I finish working things out for myself without really THINKING about what I'm working out.

      My example for this: Thursday we buried my grandfather. Yesterday I had been as comforted by those I love who were here for me as I could be, but was still down, and still sad. So I pulled out my hot glue gun and sueded 4 of my 6 dolls, and 1 of my sister's 2. By the time I was done I was feeling better. I'll probably sued the last 2 of my dolls at some point today, too.

      So yes, I get comfort from my dolls, but only after getting comfort from the people I love has done all that it can do.
    10. I am really bothered by the idea of someone choosing inanimate objects over people emotionally. Distracting yourself from upsetting thoughts with a hobby as Ayas-Shadow did is fine, but the girl in the post quoted at the top has real problems with intimacy. All I could think is a) no wonder she can't get on with her mother and b) she HAS a girlfriend/boyfriend? I wonder how long that's going to last - s/he doesn't seem very charmed by being rejected in favour of an expensive toy.

      When I really need comfort, I need cuddles, skin contact, closeness, and most of all the knowledge that I'm loved and cared for. There is no earthly way you could get any of that from a hunk of plastic and elastic, and I think choosing a soulless thing over love and closeness from a real human being is not going to be a healthy way to deal with anything.
    11. I am one of those "leave me the hell alone, don't even talk to me" people when I am very upset, so I rarely look to friends or family for comfort. I don't like it. I am even worse when I am sick. Said friends and family are aware of this and know when to give me a wide berth.

      Sometimes, I like photographing them or messing around with them as stress relief, but I don't confide in them or seek them out for comfort.
    12. I really do agree with autumnrain. It's seriously not healthy to prefer talking emotionally to an inanimate object over a person or animal.

      Obviously I don't 'love' my dolls as much as some do here, but if I was upset at a friend, I'd talk to my boyfriend. If I was upset at my boyfriend, I'd talk to a friend. Dolls would never come into it unless I needed a distraction for a little while to clear my head.
    13. I tend to find a great deal in peace in my girls...they don't talk back...or tell me their opinion of what I should do...therefore..
      I'M ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!
    14. As of right now, as all my closest friends are seperated from me by either a 3-8 hour time zone difference (darn you college and whisking everyone away!), it can be very difficult to even get them on the phone, so sometimes I do have to choose the comfort of my dolls over them. Even so, I'm like those types who've already posted here that I use them as a distraction, usually by styling their wigs or working on a project, rather than using them to hug or cuddle.

      But I know if I had the choice 95% of the time I would go for the real thing, even as much as I love my dolls. The only time I could see myself choosing my dolls over them was if it was a very specific situation where I did not wish to be in contact with anyone else and just needed some alone time to be with my thoughts.
    15. How many of you would prefer to speak to your dolls when you're having a hard time than speak to, say, a friend of boyfriend?

      As long as the person doesn't rely solely upon his/her dolls, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Sometimes you just need to talk something out (without feedback from another person), and dolls are perfect for that sort of one-sided conversation. I've come to find that many people aren't as good at just listening as they'd like to think they are.
    16. The only reason why I can see the girl in the FML situation doing that is if the mom threatened the dolls somehow. I'd know I'd skip by a friend/lover if another person threatened to throw one of my dolls in the trash compactor.

      For me, I have IM and here to talk to my friends when I'm upset - or a phone. Now if I just want to be alone and indulge in some silly whims? Of course I'll talk to my dolls and cuddles them. :P I live over two thousand miles away from the closet family member, and while a few of my friends are somewhat closer, we're still all in different states.
    17. People > dolls to me. Sure, if no one is around I'll cuddle my dolls but if it's a choice between hugging or talking to a human or a doll...The human wins. : / Even if it's just an online friend cause I need reassurance not "......." since it's resin and can't talk. :'D
    18. I guess it depends on the people that are available. My friends are not exactly...the consoling types. Often times the 'help' they have to offer ends up making me feel worse instead of better, so in that instance playing with my dolls would at the very least get my mind off things. If my sister or mom are available to talk to, that would be my first choice. I think talking to dolls is helpful in the same way that writing in a diary is; it lets you try to work it out for yourself.
    19. How many of you would prefer to speak to your dolls when you're having a hard time than speak to, say, a friend or boyfriend?
      Definitely no. A doll cannot relate to you, a doll cannot provide you with advice or a perspective, and while some things we may not want to speak with others about, there should be people you know who will listen and not gab it to the world. I don't tend to generally make friends or atleast not close friends with that type myself. If you're stressed and rant or rave and just happen to do that at your doll to vent temporarily that's fine, but if you're truly upset and need support, that's what people are for. Heck, I'd deem an animal as a much better option than a doll.
      Does this affect your relationship with those people?
      If you're choosing dolls as comfort over people when they are available (I'm fine with using them as a distraction by doing photoshoots etc) then you're probably already having relationship issues.

      My little disclaimer: I won't say it's right or wrong, this is simply my opinion and initial thoughts on the matter.
    20. Wow. Just....wow. I would never even consider trying to find comfort from a doll. Distraction, yes, but for comfort? Human being first. If no humans are available, then one of the pets.