Do You Use Your Dolls as Replacement Children?

So ill be the weird odd ball out xD!! I actuallly have wanted kids for 3 years now and since im in a long distance relationship there is no way no how for me to have them at this moment, im 24 turning 25 soon and i guess my hormones for wanting a kid is growing strong. I like how dolls can deteriorate like human beings and people treat them dearly reading threads about how dolls have souls interest me too. I'm not saying i will treat them like a living breathing human being but i will care for them and treat them nice . No dolls arnt a replacement for children i dont believe that but i dont see anything wrong with treating them semi like children a bit and i know a lot of people who actually do. Theres nothing wrong with it and i dont intend to make the doll come first over my baby when i do have a child this is just a lonely filler for me i guess ^_^;;...no fiance and no kids and having chronic depression with a odd family can make things super lonely so there more like company to me ^^!

 

*giggles* No, my doll is not a replacement for kids. I want children in the future, real ones and if theyre interested I'll share my hobby with them

 

There were times I would have liked to replace my kid (now thankfully grown up) with a doll. My dolls never argue with me and have to be right all the time, plus they were never surly teenagers.

 

I really love how this topic was brought up. Because after having dolls, I've asked myself many times why I wanted them in the first place, why I'm willing to pay the price and why I love them so much.


Does it give you something you were lacking not having children?
It gives me something to play with and care for, I think dolls are on a completely different level from children. It is not real which is why I like them. They are vessels for my creativity and emotional expression. Dolls remain the way as the owner wants them to be, they are flexible to change as you want. They are not something that 'requires' attention unless you want. They also never grow up.


Would you pay as much attention to your dolls if you suddenly had kids?
I don't plan on having kids.
But if I did I would pay the same amount of attention, for my dolls are my hobby and it's part of my daily life.

I just wondered what other people like me feel about Dolls as Substitute Kids. Do you think it's wrong?
Although it may not make sense to other people.. I don't think anyone has the right to judge that it is wrong.
People have their own personal reasons.

How far is too far?
If you neglect your responsibilities(in real life) because of the dolls.

Do you think it's healthy or a sign someone's "not all there"?
Forms of doll therapy exist and is a real method of healing/therapy. If it is helpful to you then it is healthy. If it is a negative impact (neglecting responsibilities, heavy debt etc) on your life, then it is unhealthy.

 

I have no desire to have children. I was the oldest in a family with 5 kids. I was forced to be second mom, especially after my mom had her last child. My youngest brother is autistic and I think that made her shut down. I spent a large percentage of my childhood, but my teenage years even more than that (since youngest brother was around then), taking care of my brothers.

Because of that, I feel like I "did my time" as it were. I don't really feel like I got much of a childhood and being a parent will just take that away further. I'm 28, know plenty of people my age and younger with children, and it doesn't make me more interested. In fact, a co-worker (who is younger than me) who is pregnant with her first child makes me not want one just hearing of the trials and tribulations dealing with her pregnancy.

Dolls are much better than children. If you don't feel like dealing with them for a day or a week or whatever, it's totally fine and you're not abusing them. You don't have to worry about feeding them or taking them to school or dealing with childcare issues or getting thrown up on. You don't have to worry about what to do with them when you just want time alone with your significant other. You can travel somewhere and leave them at home and the dolls don't care.

Dolls are not replacement children to me. To me, they're like more customizable and posable figures or some other thing like that. They're to have fun with and they look pretty. I do like them a lot, but I don't actually love them like I would a person or even a pet. Why? Because they're not living. And that's precisely WHY I like them sometimes.

 

I never owned a "reborn" doll myself but am familiar with these collectors and have to say that the bolded part above is simply not accurate. Yes, I'm sure *some* reborn collectors are memorializing a lost child with these lifelike dolls, but to say "most of the time" is entirely incorrect. Everyone hates a stereotype.

I do have children so I don't meet the criteria of the question, however, I do enjoy my doll in some ways I enjoyed my kids. I like making clothes for her and I like taking pictures of her. But, unlike my human children, she doesn't complain about my style choices or fuss when the photo session is taking too long.

And one more 'for the record'.. I don't like children much at all either. I like *mine*, of course, but I can barely tolerate most of their friends and avoid their classrooms like the black plague.

 

I don't have kids. I don't want kids. I think it would be kind of weird to have something be a substitute for something else I don't want. So no, dolls are not a substitute for kids, they don't substitute for something I feel is lacking (mostly because I don't feel like I'm missing anything by not having kids), and the presence of the dolls in my life has no bearing on my feelings about not having kids. With or without the dolls, I wouldn't want kids and would be perfectly happy with that decision.

I have to admit I'm a bit weirded out by the idea of dolls (of any kind) as substitute kids. Kids are not dolls. Dolls are not kids. But I see a lot of people today treating their kids like dolls and it makes me wonder where that comes from, so turning it around and somehow having dolls fill the place kids would be in the doll owner's life just...bothers me. I suppose a doll, and especially an expensive one like a BJD, definitely provides something that can tap into a person's care taking instinct, but I honestly don't get how it might tap into a nurturing instinct. It's a doll. It doesn't need and won't react to nurturing. I guess as long as people who have dolls in place of kids understand that dolls aren't kids and that there are some HUGE fundamental differences between the two (namely: you can mold a doll to be whatever you want, you can't really do that with a kid) then it's fine. It's just not something I understand at all.

 

Personally, I do fill the void that is created by the absence of children with dolls. I rarely speak about this to my fiancee, but the personal loss of an unborn child has effected me deeply even three years later. To have something small, fragile, and sweet to nurture and love on helps the aching go away.

 

It kind of worries me the amount of people who say they "hate" babies.. They can be annoying or whiny or smelly or whatever, but this is the way things are, and you were one once, so it kind of feels a bit cruel to say you hate them. It's a pretty strong word.

Onto the question.. I'm saving up for a doll as a gift to myself because - at the moment - i can't have a baby. I have to wait until I put on some weight and get healthy or there's a risk that the baby wouldn't survive, and in the meantime I save up and look online for doll clothes and accessories. It's nice because it gives me a focus and a distraction.

I don't think I could use a doll as a replacement for a child, since I want one so badly, but it gives me something to focus on in the meantime. I hope this answers your question!

 

I agree! the word 'hate' is pretty strong and I never understood the people who dislike babies ...babies are the most innocent and beautiful creations on earth. Having said that, I would love to have kids some day, but I never thought of my dolls as replacements as kids, however, one of them (the first one) is treated very special because he is exactly what I would like to have one day and how I would treat my son but that was born from our deep bond^^ if I ever have a kid or even a pet, they will come first of course. My dolls are just creations from my mind.

Nothing's wrong with someone who threat their dolls as replacements for kids though, everyone has his/her reasons and if they are happy like that, as long as they know the difference between reality and fantasy, then everything is ok.

 

I don't want a baby. I do not hate them, nor do I dislike them; I think babies are really adorable, actually, but the thought of having a baby just does not tempt me at all. I don't quite know why.
Therefore, my dolls are not replacement children for me. They're more like a little thing I can cherish and make up stories about, while still not having to feed them and nurse them the same way you have to with a baby.

 

I can understand why these dolls could function as "replacement children" for some. Although I don't think "replacement" is the right word. Dolls, plants and animals can help with the recovery process by giving someone something to nurture.

As far as me, I'm not interested in having children. I actually like children although I seriously dislike poor parenting. Many sacrifices have to be made for children and I'm not just willing to go through with all that. I'm also not in a place in my life to support a child fully as well as accomplish all the things I want out of life.

 

Personally, I see my dolls as a way to express myself and dress them as I would like to dress. If I had a male doll, I would dress him the way I would dress myself if I were a male. I don't see them as my children though, rather as reflections of myself.

 

No. I don't want children, I have no intention of having children. Dolls are just dolls to me. The whole 'replacement children' angle seems, to me, to be a way of demeaning those who enjoy dolls and telling them to 'get out into the real world and do real things'. It's ridiculous, silly, and incorrect.

Besides, 90% of the dolls I'll own are too old character-wise to even function as replacement kids.

 

I'm in the camp that doesn't really LIKE kids, doesn't want to have any and doesn't think of their dolls as 'substitute' children.

I don't LIKE kids, not babies, not toddlers and definitely not the ones that talk. Once in a while they're okay for a couple of hours, or something. My baby cousin (not really a baby but she wasn't born until I was already 8) just had her baby's first birthday a week ago and as much as I like her kid, after spending about six hours at her house visiting, I was READY to go home and get the heck OUT. I'm 27 and I haven't wanted kids since I was 8 and my cousin was born. I wouldn't want a substitute.

In fact anything that looks too childlike actually give me the skritching heebie jeebies. I get twitchy and start rubbing my arms and hands like there's something crawling on me. I don't know why this is, but child-like anythings, including REAL children, always give me this reaction, so even my dolls don't get to look too childlike.

Unfortunately I live in a really rural area where the basic reaction of everyone I meet is first to ask your age (ruuuuude!) and then when you're over 18 they ask if you have kids, and "why not?". Its really hard to get it across that you are not in denial about anything, you're not gay, you just Don't Like Kids. Mostly I just get people telling me that I'll change my mind. Which is honestly, really REALLY patronizing and aggravating. And wrong.

 

I teeter on the line of wanting children and not wanting children. Sometimes I feel a great urge to want to have a child but I try not to get to hopeful because of my medical problems and then I secretly feel grateful because I am sort of a selfish person. I told someone once that I was not sure if I wanted a child and they looked at me like I was Frankenstein. I normally just say yes I want kids, ya and leave it at that anymore sense my feelings are so complicated about it.

If you look at history psychologically girls were given dolls to learn mothering techniques, however I am not that way with my doll. I really enjoy just a pretty thing to look at and sometimes talk to when I'm lonely in my house.

 

I would love to have kids someday. I am working on getting wealthy enough to have 5. *u* Although a lot of people swerve away from them because of bad experiences (I had a LOT), I still will have them. It's my job to parent them properly after all so it will be my fault if they turn out bad. I had a lot of fun having my baby brother. I got to see him from being cute to not so pleasant, but heck, I treat him like a toy and playmate. That is what I can't have with dolls. No matter how sweet looking they are, you can't have all the experiences a real child can give.

For now, I prefer treating cats like children(but then they age rapidly in the first 2 years) rather than dolls. My cats are now adults though so not much cuddling going on. UmU I can't cuddle a resin doll unless they are clothed in fluffiness~

I haven't nurtured my current dolls as much as I would want to coz of work and stuff, but I will! They will be mostly for aesthetics and stories though. They will have their own lives apart from mine. I'll just be the creator. ~TuT I love creating whole civilizations and mythologies while injecting the realities of life.

 

It's all depend on people's view.
For me, no, my dolls are truly a doll.
Not a replacement for whatever it is.

People may think their dolls as replacement for kids/children.
They may treat their dolls like treating their own flesh and blood kids.

But whatever action you do, everything will have their own risk.

 

It would be funny if these were replacement children for me... because I don't like kids and probably never have any offspring of my own. For me these are just pretty objects and just a hobby.