Does anyone else receive their doll and feel guilty when there's no connection?

Hasn't happened yet, but did think about this after I ordered my new doll (not in yet). What if I can't bond? Then I've spend a (for me atm) big amount of money on a doll I don't feel anything for when we meet eye to eye. That would make me feel guilty as f*** for multiple reasons. Well....I told myself to sell her. I've seen enough selling posts on fb to assume the 'not bonding risk' is a part of the hobby.

Good luck!

 

I have experienced this before, not with a BJD but with a reborn doll I brought. I was so excited to finally get them after paying them off, I rushed home, opened the box and my heart sank. There was just nothing, no connection, not even when I took them out of the box and held them. It was just like 'this is how much money you wasted, now what are you going to do?!'

I waited a few months and there was still nothing, the doll ended up sitting in my bassinet getting dusty so I sold them on to a loving home and to someone who was super excited to get them and treasure them dearly.

After that it took me a little while to get the guts to make a large purchase again in fear it would happen once more, but with my next doll I was completely over the moon and price did not even come in to it.
I think if you have given it a few months and there is no connection to them, perhaps it is time to sell them and try again. Sometimes things aren't a match no matter how excited we were for them, and although it is a lot of money and sometimes selling them on can leave us short on what we spent, at least the doll then moves on to someone who is connected to them and loves them as they deserve to be loved.

 

I have that same worry with my new doll I ordered. Stay positive, you dont know something until you try it so dont feel guilty if possible. I think a remodel first or have them away in their box and see if you have the urge to "play" with them? If nothing, you could still sell as a last resort.
Sorry if it wasnt much help and good luck!

 

I didn't really feel guilty. Once happened that dealing with a company made me so angry that when I received it I just hated it. I gave her a faceup, got her clothes, a new wig and eyes but she just didn't mean anything to me.

I'd say this is likely a worst case scenario though as most companies aren't so difficult.

 

I've had moments where I'm underwhelmed upon unpacking a doll, but that's because I buy them blank. I don't really get attached to them until I sit down and give them faceups, blush their bodies, and make wigs, clothes, etc. It's really a creative outlet for me rather than simply having a pretty thing that takes up space.

 

I'm having something like this with an LE doll my grandmother bought me a few years ago. I really do like him. I just...don't love him. He was so expensive and my grandmother bought him for me. But I never DO anything with him, and sometimes I think I should sell him because of that, but then I feel guilty for wanting to sell a gift, instead of feeling guilty for not being insanely in love with an expensive LE doll that was a gift from one of the most important people in my life.

So yeah.

 

I don't think there's an immediate need to love your doll the moment you open the box. You've spent so much time working on the idea of your doll that you're probably more attached to the idea than the thing.

Dress her up, handle her a bit, and see how you feel in a few weeks. The concept that you should immediately fall in love is superficially created and shouldn't cause you to feel bad or guilty if you don't. Some things just need a little time to grow on you

 

This.
Also, don't feel bad if it turns out that in the end she's just not the right doll for you. MiniFees hold their value reasonably well, and so there's always the option to sell her on and try again with another sculpt. Sometimes finding the right doll to match your expectations involves some trial and error.

One of the real down sides of our hobby working the way that it does is having to purchase dolls sight-unseen. It can be very, very hard to get a good idea of what a doll's going to look like "in person" (so to speak) when all you have to go by are two-dimensional photographs. Depth matters when it comes to faces, and can make all the difference between an "Oh, yeah!" and a "Hmm. No." So, don't feel bad about not automatically finding your perfect pick right off the bat. It just happens that way sometimes.

Personally, I did get lucky with my first pair. Harumatsu and Tien Jen were exactly what I expected, and they're both still here in my collection more than ten years later. I *have* definitely had other dolls, though, that I unpacked and just felt nothing for. Some I kept around for awhile, tinkering with their look and "giving them a fair chance". Others I sold on immediately... In either case, I've found that a doll I don't like right out of the box is very unlikely to become one that stays long-term, no matter how much switching and changing I do.

 

I'll echo previous posters and say connections aren't always formed instantaneously. I would definitely change her clothes and wig and give her a little more time. If there's still no connection, I would sell her and move on without guilt.

 

I've had some that I didn't bond with right away, and it was disappointing.

One I sent out for a new faceup, and got her a new wig, and now I adore her, she's so sweet.

One I did a head trade, and I LOVE the head I got in the trade. But after a while I would miss her when I'd see pics of the sculpt, and recently ordered her again. And I feel expectant and excited. (This, btw, is MNF Celine.)

One I received and it wasn't that there was some big feeling of being different from what I expected. I was just, I don't know, not excited. I'm holding on to her and will see if my feelings change.

 

Unfortunately, yes. Last year I finally ordered my first SD doll. I was so excited! I printed out a picture of the doll and looked at it every once in a while during the wait. The doll arrived, and it was a happy time. However, a year later I am feeling guilty for spending so much, and he is so big. I really like the sculpt, but...when I look at him I just feel anxious. So I put him in his box and out of my mind. I'm not going to try and sell him, so he will stay under the bed until the day I finally figure out what to do.

 

It's frustrating, annoying and it makes me angry, but not guilty, unless it's one I wanted so bad and someone bought for me. I know I can sell or trade a doll I don't like, but it may mean months on the market and major financial losses, and that just angers me! I don't feel guilty for wasting money, since it is my doll fund money that I came up with myself and wasn't needed to go to anything important, but I get mad at myself for not researching enough, or impulse buying.

 

There's nothing to feel guilty over try some different styling and see if that helps you like your doll more and if not then sell or trade her for a different one that you love

 

Oh, my house is a revolving door of bjds. I always imagine it drives my group nuts. I keep any doll I get for a while, trying new things with them. But, I've learned not everything I love on the internet is something I need. I keep all the dolls I love. But, anyone I've had a while and changed several times without falling in love with them, they find a new home. I can't stand having things around I don't use.

 

Yes. This has happened to me with all three dolls I've bought since I started the hobby. I couldn't connect with any of the dolls I bought. Since I wound up selling all three, I am wondering if resin dolls are not for me.

My next attempt will be a vinyl Obitsu. In all honesty, I just want a doll that I don't to worry about yellowing, stringing, or breaking resin parts on. Dollfie Dreams and Obitsu dolls have always been very appealing to me in that regard.

 

I don't feel guilty, but I get irritated with myself for making a bad decision. However, as some people have said here, sometimes it takes time to bond.

 

It's disappointing, and it's especially frustrating after waiting so long for a doll straight from the company and finding out that it's nothing like you hoped it would be in person. My first doll was a total dud; absolutely wrong for me in every respect and for a few months I felt really bad that I'd spent the money on him and couldn't seem to enjoy him the way my wife and my doll friends were enjoying their dolls. It took getting another one on total impluse and being super excited about him as soon as I looked at his little face (with the wrong hair, oversized eyes, and almost no clothing at hand for him) to realize that sometimes you just don't click with one and that's okay. We're lucky we have the second hand market so we're not stuck with a mistake when it happens, because it's really hard to tell from company photos what a doll's going to look like in person sometimes.

 

It's funny what a different experience finally getting a doll you've longed for can be, isn't it? Sometimes, with me, it's instant insane adoration and stunned euphoric awe - when I opened my Irrealdoll Nur, I just sat and stared at him with my mouth half open for ten minutes, feeling half dizzy, as if I'd been kicked in the head by a horse! I could not look at every small detail of his enough, like he was a newborn baby or some magical being who'd wandered into my living room...XD

Then, sometimes, a doll is somehow underwhelming for various reasons when you first see them. One tiny artist doll I got was much smaller and more delicate than I expected, and I didn't like the skin tone I chose as much as I thought I would; her head is so teeny no wig I bought her fit her, so for months she sat on a chair in my doll cabinet, a puzzle I couldn't solve. Happily a fabulous wig and some super cute clothes have turned her into the amazing little doll I fell in love with from photos, and I've discovered new things about her that are wonderful, like what a marvelous poser she is! So experimenting with different looks can really change how you feel about a doll.

But, once in a while, a doll is just not for you. Years ago I got a Volks Isao Nanjou at a good price, but I love odd, unusual sculpts, and artist dolls, and he is just too normal! Nothing I have tried has changed my meh feeling about him, not even a faceup by a great artist, and he sits in the closet, waiting to be sold. I feel annoyed at myself for choosing the wrong doll, but these dolls are a good investment because they are easy to rehome, and yours will be too if you find she is just not your cup of tea after all.