Does becoming a "crazy doll lady/person" concern you?

quoted for truth. i find some of my best friendships were found this way after all

 

Doesn't worry me. The dolls aren't the first thing anyone's going to see when they walk into my place, anyway. They're more likely to notice the books, or the sculptures, or the plushies, or the figures, or the massive amounts of Fullmetal Alchemist merchandise, or the games, or the literal wall of art supplies, or the puppets. They're probably more likely to notice I walk around in an Ed Elric coat. (The barista at the last Starbucks I dropped into thought it was awesome, and was thrilled that I turned around for her to see the back when she asked about it!) They'll notice my geeky shirts (or ask about the references, like someone did with my Eolian hoodie). The dolls hang out in my bedroom, so they probably won't notice them, but even if I had them in another room, they're just one more weird thing in my assortment of weird things.

Oh, and they're not in the bedroom to "hide" them. That just happens to be where their shelves fit best. Same with most of the Build a Bears and anime figures. They fit in that room, so that's where they hang out. The geek stuff is everywhere, here. Including the bathroom.

 

i have a favorite quote from cs lewis "when i was 10 i read fairytales in secret and would have been ashamed if i had been found doing so, now that i am 50 i read them openly. when i became a man, i put away childish things including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up"
it fits for dolls too. ive always been torn between caring what others think and knowing i was "odd" and would never fit in anyway, so not caring! as ive gotten older the not caring wins out more and more it helps that the people that really matter to me accept my hobby as just something i do.

and since ive been a full time mom for years, my dolls definitely aren't child substitutes, they are my sanity savers when i need a break from my kids

 

I think everyone here can relate to being an oddball, including me lol don't let everyone else tell you how to live your life!!!

Seriously though, I had the same exact concerns. I'm in my early twenties, always been in love with dolls since a young age. My family and friends seem to think its weird that I spend so much time and money on dolls. Like I should've grown out of it but I haven't and I never will. My younger sister is in her early teens and she's so focused on being cool that me having dolls is like social suicide to her. No one really understands unless they're a doll hobbyist themselves. I still tend to keep it to myself, as I do get those weird looks from people who find out about it. I can't even talk about this stuff to anyone. Well, until I found DoA and found that, HEY I guess it's not just me.

Your collection is probably only going to grow and dolls make you feel happy, right? You should just embrace it and display them and do whatever you want with them. No such thing as a crazy doll lady!

 

I general; I think caring about what others think decreases exponentially as we age. I do think that it can be problematic if one becomes increasingly disconnected from reality or looses the ability to connect with other people because of their hobby - hence the perception of the "crazy X collector."

 

I think I'm on my way to becoming one at the rate I'm going. People around me are crept out by my dolls but they are usually pretty chill about it and it amuses me. If the people important to you are chill with your dolls, then go for it. If they are not chill, still go for it (well at least talk to them over it first and find a middle ground where you both will be content).

 

I don't think I'd ever get to the point where I have 10+ dolls. Not even 5+. I'm just getting my third and I was thinking about how I don't have any ideas for a doll after this one because I try to give them all their own unique looks. So at least I won't be spending out the wazoo for a new doll every so often.

When I'm older, I'll still have my dolls because I love them. Their an expression of myself and a labor of love. Just because I become older doesn't mean all of that becomes irrelevant.

 

Not at all I have other hobbies like figure/anime merch collecting, video games, etc. and I never care how I look to others. If I end up becoming a 'crazy doll lady', then so be it. The way I see it, we only live once, so we need to enjoy our hobbies if it makes us happy ^^

 

I am not too concerned about that. I am not really much of a collector. I only have one doll. I am hoping to get one more doll, but after that I am done buying dolls (though somewhere deep inside my mind I know I eventually will probably come across another doll that I will fall for). But right now I am not too worried especially since I need all my money for college, not dolls.

 

I don't really care either. I only have one doll and have for years and it's unlikely to change. I have "friends" who joke about it sometimes but they never get a reaction out of me and really, what is one doll?

 

I had my first ''crazy doll person'' moment the other day, and it was during a crazy and unexpected "windfall" of sorts. I was out late, and walking through a parking lot to my car I spotted a small leather clutch handbag lying on the pavement. When I opened it to check the contents, to my astonishment, I found a huge wad of cash (a little over $1,000) and the first thing I thought to myself was ''how many dolls/doll things can I buy with all this money!?" Not "how much student loan debt can I pay off?" or "how many bills can I pay with this money?" but... straight to dolly things. >_<

In the end, although it was a bit painful, I did return the bag (and yes, all of the cash) because I wouldn't have felt right keeping something like that, that did not belong to me. Very tempting though. But still... my mind wanders straight to dolly things now I guess. Heh...

 

Nah, I embrace the crazy doll person like I embrace the crazy cat person.

 

There's this cliché that when you become an adult, you get married, have 2.3 children, buy yourself a house and have a 'respectable' job. I think it's a cliché, because many people really want that life. But if you don't, it doesn't mean that you are weird, or crazy. You are just making different choices. (besides, I think it is perfectly okay to collect dolls AND have the 2.3 children, marriage, house and job... the only 'crazy doll person' I know, is a woman who gives classes in dollmaking).

Figure out for yourself what YOU want, despite of the white noise around you telling you who to be. Think about what makes you happy, what way to organize your life makes you most comfortable. Despite all the opinions of others, in the end you are the person living your life and having to be content with it. And there are so many different ways to do it.

I figured out long ago that I don't want to get married, or have children. The traditional lifestyle doesn't appeal to me at all. And that's okay. Some people might not understand, but in the end it is not up to them how I live my life and they don't have to understand. As long as I do.

 

Admittedly, I'm not so able to just shrug off opinions. I like what I like and don't what I don't but stuff like that does nip at me.

I can't have fun while people are whispering about me. It's why to date I've only gone out alone with my dolls for a picture day once. Granted those were the best pictures I have ever taken of my dolls in the history of ever but the attention from passers by, pointing children and slowing cars was a nightmare xD

Yes it was a tourist spot garden type of place I knew people would stare and be like wtf is she doing with those dolls... I was ready for that... I just wasn't prepared for the cars slowing down and when i looked up they would speed off... I would have been fine if I had a friend to go with me or if it was out doll meet group lol But that was a bit much just for me to shrug off. . .

As far as my people either they are into dolls or they understand it's just something I'm into and don't come at me about them anymore because i still take care of myself financially even with my expensivr hobby. Some even take interest or enjoy looking at them and such.

 

Well, I've only been out of college for a year, but I've noticed a lot of adults who are a bit older than me are buying and collecting toys right along with their kids.

I totally get the guilty feeling of "I'm buying dolls, instead of spending money on adult things like wine, new car, and electronics." But previous generations of adults did not have all these video games or an more open market to get things from other countries. Some people spend their free time and money on exercise equipment, getting their hair done, nails done, clothing, and other things to make themselves look and feel younger. Others spend their time on sports memorabilia, and vehicles to play with on their two week vacations. I spend my time buying dolls/doll things and making stuff for my dolls. It just about what makes you happy and fulfilled.

You're not going to become that "crazy doll lady" because you are a real person. You have more interests than just dolls, even if dolls are your number one thing. You will always be more interesting and way less crazy when you allow yourself to be happy and do your own thing.

 

I think my issue with this idea is the fine line in between having a healthy obsession and an unhealthy one. Kind of like the crazy cat ladies that have a lot of cats but baby them and take care of each single one vs the ones that have a lot and some end up dead behind the couch without them ever finding out, or their house is an unhealthy place for a cat and they fight each other and starve.

I think a lot of people love to deny the fact that this could happen to them, if you can't keep track of how many dolls you own, and where they are or why you even have them, I think is time to seek some help and stop. If you keep them in boxes since day one you got them, and only saw them once to make sure they are ok and the only reason why you own dolls is because you just HAVE to buy them, then yeah, that's super unhealthy. I have bought two dolls from owners like this, who have told them they have dolls in the hundreds and buy them and open the box but then they put them away and never do anything with them, so months later they sell them to BUY more dolls that are probably going to end up in the same way to begin with. They don't even dress the dolls or anything, they just buy them because they have to keep buying them. So 2 of my bjd are literally like new, but were bought second hand, the original bubble wrap was even STILL around the doll.

 

Oh wow, some of the intense doll collector stories are kind of spooky! Specifically those about people who keep them in the hundreds.

I suppose I'm slightly worried about perceived as one of those types of people, or as being seen as living in some perpetual state of adolescence because of my dolls, as the stereotype seems so prevalent in everything from "Hoarders" to horror movies. On top of that, having a baby face in real life definitely affects that fear for me. I often pass as anywhere from a thirteen year old to a fifteen year old, when I'm a legal adult with a stable job! This makes me less concerned about being seen as looking for a child substitute and more about being seen as a child, I suppose.

I'd be interested in hearing if anybody else with a younger appearance is worried about this too.

 

I am honestly a little worried about what people will think about my dolls, but I don't let it stop me from enjoying my hobby. I have friends, family and a boyfriend outside of the hobby who support me and admire my dolls, so that really helps me to worry less about my image and have fun with my dolls I think there's a line you can cross into unhealthy obsession, but it takes a lot. For me, if you value your dolls more than the human loved ones in your life, and/or put your hobby before your health (like skipping meals in order to afford doll stuff), that's when you need to take a look at your hobby and maybe change a couple of things. Otherwise, even your hobby is a really big part of your life, even if you have 100+ dollies... I don't think you have a problem. As long as you know how to prioritize, budget, take care of yourself and maintain human relationships, I think you're fine. Try not to worry too much about people's opinions and enjoy your hobby as much as you can.

 

I look roughly half my age. I don't just get carded, I get people who are skeptical that my ID is real. (I promise I really sat at the DOL for an hour waiting for this garbage picture where my hair looks like a pirate bandana.)

It is hard to get taken seriously at any age, I think. People are going to have opinions about you based on your looks and your hobbies and your vocabulary and your eating habits and your gender/sexual orientation and what you do or don't do and pretty much anything that you reveal publicly, and the stuff that you don't reveal, they'll just make up. Those opinions and assumptions reflect more on them than they do on you, really. I know hearing that that doesn't always make it easier to deal with in the moment, though.

It sucks that people are so opinionated about this kind of thing, and I totally understand being self-conscious about... well, nearly everything, but ultimately if someone chooses to perceive you as some cardboard cutout stereotype of something they saw on television instead of getting to know you, it's really their loss.

I'm also kind of used to being around adults who collect toys and movie props and stuff, though, so it's never seemed weird to me. Anime fans and costumers and the like, and artists who both make and collect stuff that is much more unusual than even the biggest doll collection. My baseline is a little different, I guess.

 

The crazy doll lady or doll collector stereotype is promoted by movies and TV. I understand everything you have written and are feeling. I try to focus on the pleasure that dolls bring me, and keep in mind that it is like so many things that the public has to put a label on and judge. It is just what people do to make sense of a complex world. Think of all the members of this forum who share your interest.

You make a good point about crossing a line to an unhealthy obsession. It is like any passion; you have to keep the balance.

well said!