Does becoming a "crazy doll lady/person" concern you?

I'm in my forties and I'm a crazy doll collector. Do I advertise it? Are they all over my house? No but I don't hide the fact either. When I have a doll meet up I've committed to and people ask me to go for other events, I say, "Nope! Got a doll event. Sorry!" You need to understand and focus on what they do for you. For example, mine make me happy and I love to change them around and when I have time, do photo stories and make clothes and accessories for them. I have literally hundreds of dolls: BJD, a wide array of fashion dolls, anime dolls, action figures. They are all in my hobby room and I have only 1 glass curio out in the main area of my house where I display dolls openly (I have Cissy dolls and Tonner dolls in there currently). Enjoy and embrace your hobby as long as it doesn't effect your health or your ability to sustain your living and don't worry about the invisible negative stigma.

 

At first, I was super worried about being "that person " but for the most part I'm over it. Seeing so many talented people in the hobby here and on instagram is pretty reassuring that this isn't like, a crazy mind-melting cult or anything...mostly haha.
And my boyfriend likes watching me attempt face-ups, so all is well.

 

I'm already a weirdo. I look forward to becoming more so the older I get. Plus, I'm a medium-core minimalist. Whatever hoarders have, I have the opposite problem. I can't stand things stuffed away in closets and boxes. So, I like my stuff, but keep it way in check. So I won't end up with 100s of dolls or floating heads, or things I can't manage.

 

This topic interests me because there is always that inner struggle and guilt of spending too much on dolls. I too (like orphan sparrow) get overwhelmed when I have too much stuff to manage and need to minimize it. This year, I want to spend less time doing that.......accumulating, and then purging, and more time enjoying the collection.

 

People been calling me crazy long before they noticed I had an interest in dolls.

But no, I've never worried about it. I like dolls and all but they'll never be something that overtakes the rest of my life. Like my other hobbies it has its time and place. As for what others think of it and how much space that takes up in my house...

I want to live a happy life. I want to surround myself with things that make me happy. If there are people who can't understand even that much, my foot is happy to show them the door. If they're lucky, I might even open said door first.

I do things in moderation, and I am who I am. If people want to misinterpret that; that is their prerogative, not mine. People always can't seem to figure me out because I do want the stereotypical house, wife, kids and 2.5 (actually I'd prefer 10...) acres [forget the picket fence, that looks darn tacky imo] but I collect dolls, I have anime figures and lewd doujin (and games) on my bookshelf. I've got video games older than some of our registered members; I cook weird things and eat fried fish eyes and chicken gizzards. I also fish, garden (strawberries are just starting to put out fruit...a bit late I'd think.) and am halfway decent with woodworking and I build my own stuff cause I live in the middle of nowhere and shipping is a right pain in the you-know-what. I want to grow a backyard full of mango trees and set up a hydroponics garden in the backyard. I wanna build a walpini and grow year round. I want chickens so I can have fresh eggs and meat, I want to grab my camera and go see the the eastern half of the world. I want to see the islands my mother grew up on, I want to stay at home and binge read all my favorite books until the sun reminds me "Go to bed, stupid! it's 9am already!" [This happened today. Mushoku Tensei is too good!]

I can go on, but the gist of it is, I'm a downright weird as hell person who wants the normal things so many people take for granted. But I don't want those normal things because they're normal, I want them because I want to share my happiness with people I care about. Because those "normal" things make me happy too.

If I had a dollar for everyone who talked down to me because of that to my face, I'd be an eccentric millionaire.
If I had a dollar for everyone who talked behind my back because of it, I'd be a crazy billionaire.

Sometimes it hurts a little. Sometimes it hurts worse than the time I ran into a car and broke my front tooth...yes, I hit the car, not the car hit me. 15 miles an hour maybe? I dunno, I was on a bike. I was 12. Sue me.

I digress.
There are over 7.9 billion people on this planet, and there will never be a way to be accepted by every single one. It hurts, but sometimes you just gotta smile to their face and pretend like they aren't even there. Throws 'em for a loop every time. But if I hadn't learned to stop caring what other people think...no, that's not quite right. If I hadn't stopped letting what other people think dictate my actions, I wouldn't be alive right now. And if I was, I sure as heck wouldn't be me.

As far as I'm concerned...
Are you hurting anyone?
Are you hurting yourself?
Are you happy?
Is this what you want?

If you can answer all those questions, and still feel good about wanting more dolls, then as far as I'm concerned, you're doing just fine.
I don't mean to answer that frivolously. Take some time and think about it long and hard, about now, tomorrow, next week, the rest of your life. Because that's the kind of decision it really is. I'm not saying it's impossible to change your mind, but if you're willing to live with yourself and the potential negativity that may bring, thinking that far ahead is necessary if you want to hold onto yourself and your happiness.

That said...it's never wise to be consumed by anything. Never let "who you are" dictate "who you want to be." I've seen too many people think "YOLO!" ...and prove themselves right not long afterwards.

It's fine to be a crazy person...as long as you can find your sanity afterwards. As one part of the internet puts it, "sanity has its advantages."

edit: Holy wall of text Batman.

 

No way! Without dolls I'm still "the crazy Star Wars lady" or "the crazy Disney lady" or "the crazy video game lady" If I had the means I would totally go full Steve Sansweet with all the stuff I collect

 

I have friends I don't talk to about my dolls, cause well they think I'm a little nuts. But then again I have friends in the community and they think I'm okay, so you know what, I don't really care. It's who I am, crazy doll lady. It's fun having something that makes you different... or the same as other doll people.
Before I started though I meet one of my now good friends who was into dolls and was a little judgmental. Until I listened to her more and heard how she talked about her dolls. And honestly she was the reason I started, cause she made it normal.

 

Thank you for your thoughts Temishi. As a ex-antique dealer, I was always collecting something and still have a few of those collections. I recognize the "collecting mentality" I have, and try to avoid that with doll purchases. That is a lot easier with BJD dolls than when I was involved with 16" theme dolls by Tonner. And lastly, I want to add that as a friend and I often discuss, dolls can be a good distraction from real life issues.

 

I actually try to keep my hobbies to myself. My husband is supportive as he collects/builds Gundam model kits. My parents are too since they're used to me collecting books, videogames, figures, etc.

My friends however don't really get it. I tried mentioning it to them once and I got the same reaction you guys mentioned. One of them said "oh, well, that's nice. At least it'll tide you by until you have a child of your own." There was really no room for me to explain that I'm not getting a BJD for that. I wanted to tell her that my doll isn't even a kid but thought better against it. Another one thought BJDs were life size -_-; and one said dolls creep her out.

Anyway, from then on, I decided to just avoid the topic when talking to them. I'd rather talk to other hobbyists about BJDs. People just have topic preferences, I suppose.

Whenever I feel like I'm being judged about my hobbies, I ask myself...would it be better to give up what makes me happy to be accepted? Would anyone truly be able accept me if I'm pretending to be someone I'm not? Would I be happier if I only had work to talk about? Those usually help me put things into perspective I mean, so long as I'm responsible for things and I'm not hurting anyone, there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.

About the child thing, well, I usually say "I'll accept what is given to me. I would love our child if hubby and I get blessed with one. If we're not meant to have one, then we'll enjoy life anyway." I've had plenty of practice since I have a pair of senior cats here and pet owners deal with similar issues. I just mention that I view them as family but I've never been in need of a child substitute.

 

NOPE

I actually like entertaining the idea of becoming the "crazy doll lady".

 

I can't say I fear becoming a crazy doll lady--if I end up with a house full of dolls, I'm sure I'll be very happy with them, and I don't plan to let dolls replace relationships with real people regardless of how many I have. But I do worry a bit about being seen in that light. I'm also a very self-conscious person, especially when it comes to people I care about and their opinion of me. I tend to keep doll stuff to myself for the most part unless a friend (or relative) has shown a positive reaction to the feelers I've put out before.
But despite all that I really do love my dolls and can't see myself stopping. Maybe everyone will just get used to this being my hobby. ^^

 

I have an intense passion for dolls, because of BJDs. I played with Barbies as a child, but baby-dolls terrified me, and I actually developed a severe fear of dolls because of a creepy incident I had in my childhood home. It was so bad that I would make my friends lock up their Disney dolls in the bathroom (and I mean LOCK), when we would have sleepovers.

Then, in high school, my best friend introduced me to BJDs. It was like a switch clicked in my brain. I became obsessed with them and started buying. Then I got in to Monster High dolls (thankfully, I'm out of them now), magical girl dolls (Sailor Moon, etc), Disney Limited Edition dolls (17" collectors dolls of which I have 46 of...), and vintage Barbie dolls. I have since reduced my collecting to the last two and BJDs, but there was a point where my bedroom was literally wall to wall, floor to ceiling dolls.

I am only 21. I started BJD collecting when I was 15 and went down my crazy spiral during my last years of high school and first years of college. My now-fiance has known me since 8th grade, and we dated on and off in high school and got back together when I went to college. Fortunately he has known me all throughout my doll-collecting years, so he is extremely understanding and supportive. Because we are starting our lives together, I found myself downsizing (eliminating the OT dolls such as MH and anime). I needed the money for our wedding and moving funds, and there is no way I can cart all of these dolls across the country.

However, once we have our own place...I can see myself accumulating them all back and then some, when and if we are financially able to do so. I love dolls. I am super passionate about them. They make me happy when sometimes, hardly anything else does. Is it a coping mechanism? Perhaps. Do I care? Not in the least. I have the support of my mother, my fiance, and my best friends. No one else's' opinion matters to me. I am lucky to have this support, and I appreciate it more than they may know.

Like others have said, I think displaying your dolls in a clean, neat way and being minimalist in what you acquire can help you achieve the "dignified" and mature look you desire for your home. My fiance collects Nintendo games and accessories, and Marvel comics and figures. We plan on getting a home with a basement that we will furnish with clean cabinets to store both of our massive collections. That way our things have a space, on display, that doesn't interfere with the rest of our home. This is just what we want however, and different things work better for different people. But for us, this is the only way to balance and keep our lives in order! Otherwise we might REALLY go crazy!

 

Social conformity and acceptance are important to alot of people and that's fine. But what about - artistic flair, happiness and enjoyment? Innovation and artistic exploration allows fashion designers and artists to create new styles/thinking. The bjd community is incredibly talented! The average collector may not be displaying their work in an art gallery but you are all terrifically artistic and some people will never ever "get that". Fashion, stories, videos, photographs, sewing, props etc ... the list continues! Everyone deals with criticism differently. One thing you can do is to continue exploring your creativity, have fun, and hopefully you will be too busy to be bothered about futile negative comments.

 

I suppose I may be a little worried but, not many people know about my collection other than close family. Outside my family I don't think anyone would get why I enjoy the hobby so I tend not to share anything hobby related with them.

 

My only problem is that I plan to become both Crazy Doll Person and Crazy Cat Person, and those cats are just gonna make off with so many wigs...

In all seriousness, though, I am very shy about my dolls orz

 

The older I get, the more I realise I must let go of the things I think I need to do, and embrace the things I love and want to do. Every time I worry that I'm mid-thirties and haven't achieved many basic 'adult' things (driving a car, owning a home, marriage, kids) I remind myself that I have my reasons, and I will not punish myself or allow myself to be punished by others for those reasons.

People think things of you irregardless. And I always am reminded of the fact that we never know what people are like behind closed doors. People get up to all sorts! So if someone wants to laugh at me because I collect dolls but have no children (or whatever) then jokes on them.

 

The good thing about getting older is that you care less about what others are saying/thinking. Hence the "crazy OLD *** person" saying. Cat people or doll people or whatever, they don't CARE what others think, and it's a GOOD thing. They don't have to live their lives worrying about everyone else and can enjoy what they like. What actually is BAD about liking dolls???

I'm lucky and I have lots of doll friends. I have other friends, too, and they either accept me or they aren't my friends--which is as it SHOULD be. (And come on, learn to be more than a one-note person. You don't HAVE to talk about dolls or cats with people who aren't into them, right!???) I find that I like doll people a LOT. They are not crazy. They have busy and productive lives but also are very creative!

There are always going to be nasty-haters who put others down for all kinds of things! Don't cave under their horrible pressure!

 

Nah, I'm not concerned about the possibility of being known as a "crazy doll lady". Dolls aren't my "one thing"-- I have too many other interests and aspects to my life for anyone to define me based on just that particular activity.

 

I'm 46, and have always been considered a little "different" because of my hobbies. I've been a sci-fi nerd/geek since grade school, Trekkie, fangirl...the whole 9 yards. I've always loved dolls, also since early childhood and always treated my baby dolls as though they were real, even though I knew they were not and I never had issues with reality/fantasy perception. I also started writing at a young age. I had gotten away from dolls after my early teens, not really by choice, just because I thought I should. Then in my mid-30s I discovered reborn dolls and fell in love with their realism and the artistry involved. I started learning to make them in 2003 and have been a professional reborn artist since 2007. That is now half my income, a legit business and an art form I am passionate about. I've been admiring BJDs for years, and just recently decided to start collecting them, as well as to learn the beautiful art of face ups.

For me, my hobbies/passions/interests have never been a replacement for anything else. They're just the mediums in which I express who I am and find I find joy and fulfillment in pursuing those passions. I think as long as we have a balance in our lives, that we take care of ourselves and our responsibilities then what we choose to do for pleasure is our business, and doesn't make us "crazy" or any other label we commonly hear.

I also have to agree with those who have said, you really do care less about what other people think as you get older. I know I rarely pay attention to negativity regarding my dolls or anything else anymore....if someone has a problem with my hobby, its more than likely some reflection of a problem they have with themselves.

 

No. I have nothing to lose. I am crazy. What's the difference: with a continuation "doll lady/person" or without it?

Okay, I'll try to answer seriously. I am not the type of people who makes tattoo, and then can't stop. I love cats, but I never had more than two. So I'm not worried about myself.