Doll version of yourself as the other gender or genderless

I have always said that by telling the stories of my dolls, I tell the story of myself…and it’s true. From the very beginning I found myself creating characters for my dolls from my own life experiences, both good and bad, expressed in a fairytale-like way. By setting my dolliverse in a fantasy setting, it allowed me the freedom to create something akin to a life journal (expressed through dolls and their displays rather than through simple words on paper, which was way more safe, fun, and creative to me.) What an amazing journey it’s been…and quite healthy and healing too.

I’m a cis woman and have never had any issues with my femininity, but because my collection was set in my own fantasy world of imagination (looking something like a Tim Burton’s movie “Alice”) I felt free to collect any size, any species, and any gender to express what I was trying to say. If I felt the character born of one of my life experiences could best be expressed as a male, I didn’t hesitate to do that. And if it worked out best as genderless character, I did that too…it was fun and quite freeing, and I’ve really enjoyed my journey.

 

At almost 60 I don't even know what is me. Have been changing the whole time. I never deeply cared one way or another. I think only eye colour has stayed the same (no colourful contacts for me).
As for the dolls I build them up first in my mind, around 1 feature first, then ad and ad, features from my myself, my friends, even pets. So far I have mental images of 5 characters and 2 of those are slowly coming into existence, got 2 bodies, 3 heads, a handful of eyes, some hair to make wigs, a box of paints, their first clothes. Maybe I'm trying to build a person without my own flaws?

 

Well, this is quite an interesting topic, so I hope I'm allowed to add my two cents to it. In my case, I've never doubted my gender (I think it has a lot to do with being raised in an environment where being a girl didn't mean a single different thing from being a boy) but still, as a writer, I've sometimes explored aspects of myself through the eyes of a masculine or even asexual character.
It's only natural, I think, and even therapeutic, to explore different gender ideas as well as we explore trauma, or learn to socialize better, or other types of experiences through dolls / books / games or any other controlled environment, be it of our own creation or not. Going through those same topics in the real world could be painful, but within that imaginary space we feel secure.

 

A very common, shared experience in the trans community is exploring gender through video game characters. I know I started that way! It's an incredibly safe method to discover things about yourself and gain insight into what makes you comfortable. Exploring gender through dolls? Same thing, different hobby! I honestly think everyone, whether staunchly cis or suspected trans, would benefit from this type of exercise. It's perfectly valid to explore and go "yup, still definitely cis!" because at the end of it you've just found out even more about yourself - which is really cool! And a lot of times it can give insight into other people, and why they do what they do. Which only leads to more empathy, and that's a net positive all around.

 

I haven't thought of making a boy version of a doll before, I'm a cis woman, but I was questioning my gender for awhile and I thought I was a trans man, I only socially transitioned, but I realized I'm a cis woman and not trans.

I think the idea of making a doll that's the opposite gender is ok and there's nothing wrong with exploring through dolls, I dress my girl dolls in cute clothes I wouldn't wear in real life haha.

 

There's nothing strange about it. Although I never doubted my gender in real life, I've created dragon versions, historical versions, fantasy versions, and occasionally, male versions of myself. Because it's fun!

Playing with dolls is an exercise of the imagination, and doesn't mean anything unless you like it enough that you want to make it a part of your real life.

 

I am actually planning on making an intergendered doll, probably next year as two dolls are my wish list before her and I will be ordering them this week.

I want the doll to look similar to me as I was born XXY. I already picked out the doll Makscat Yael, because she has eyes very close to mine and the face shape, as well the mouth. I also like that the Makscat bodies are very flat chested, so they can easily wear gender neutral clothes and look the part.

The character when it enters my story isn't going to be that much like me, but there will be similarities.. I think I would feel too exposed if I were to do the character exactly like myself. But there will be issues with the character being intersex that I am looking forward to exploring in her storyline. I think people born intersex are often overlooked in media and I am looking forward to bringing that into my webcomic.

I also like the idea of have a pseudo minime bjd around. We will have to have at least one matching outfit!

I think exploring a storyline where the character has always known what they are will be interesting for me. A sort of confirmation of my own identity.