Dolls and Gender Divisiveness

I will go ahead and say that in this hobby I tend to be 'assume female first' when speaking to someone for the first time online, but that's because this hobby is fairly female dominated.

Having said that I also have several male BJD collecting friends, including my boyfriend, and have never made much of a distinction between them and any other hobbyist. At the house and convention meets I've gone to there have been male collectors, and there has never even been any reason for 'special welcome' or any such things. They're just more doll collectors, so why would there be any difference in the way they are treated?

As for resentment.. I don't think that I have it in me to resent anyone for their gender. I also don't think it speaks to anyone's masculinity or sexuality when they own a doll. I mean.. have you SEEN a DDdy?

 

Honestly, I think it would be rather awesome if guys were to collect BJD's as actively as loads of girls do.

I mean, as a girl with guy dolls, it seems strange that a guy with girl dolls, or even a guy with guy dolls would be considered strange. Although I do understand that logically there should be no issue, but there sometimes is an issue. It's the current mindframe of many.

 

An excellent point, and one that should be considered. My local group has no problem with guys showing up at meets. Some of them own dolls. Some are just curious about the hobby. I see no point to discrimination. There's so few of us collectors around as it is!

However, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if the outside Nebraska world had negative opinions about guys and dolls. Us girls get strange looks whenever we meet in public. I can only imagine the looks a guy would get.

 

Very similar to the meets I have been too

 

I'm cool with anybody in the hobby; I'm happy to make friends! If anything I feel like a bit of an outsider, being that I'm a female-to-male transgender. Not many people expect that in virtually any sort of situation..so it's mildly uncomfortable for me in general because I manage to confuse others.

 

I have met a man who collected BJD. Though his dolls looked like him, they were men too, not young girls or smth like that.
But I feel uncomfortable to chat with men, it applies to BJD-collectors too

 

I'm a guy who just recently got into BJDs. My girl friends think it's an interesting hobby but strangely enough, my guy friends think my doll is the neatest thing. My friend James is absolutely fascinated by him. My parents are the only ones who think I'm strange for being a guy into dolls.

 

I'm a man who has been collecting dolls for... oh... 5 years now, I think?

I have been to a number of meets and have never been treated badly because I was a guy. Admittedly I am quite quiet and tend not to get too involved with things, but everyone I have ever met in person has been friendly and not at all put off by my hobby.

I have generally found that my male friends are pretty indifferent to my collection. I think they just don't read into it too much, and are happy for the dolls to be around. It's not like my dolls bother them or anything. My female friends are the ones most likely to ask me why I collect dolls or to say they think it's weird. (But generally, the ones who think it's weird are creeped out by my dolls in the first place, as opposed to the idea of a man collecting giant lumps of resin. )

 

I think it's great that men are involved in the hobby. My husband and I were at a collector's show (all types of dolls) and met two extremely nice guys who collected BJDs and fashion dolls. They were probably the coolest people there.

 

I am a man and I see nothing wrong with collecting dolls or sewing clothes for them. Painting faceups. To me it's all art! it's all about the dolls. I have seen many beautiful dolls and I have seen many I do not care for. It is personal preference what people like or dislike. I am just starting in this hobby with my wife. I have been collecting dolls and painting resin and vinyl figure models for years. People used to find that weird or strange. Like everything, given time, acceptance takes time. I personally would love to see more meets/shows in the Boston area. right now I know of none.

 

In our doll community in the Philippines, guys are totally outnumbered since this doll hobby is dominated by girls, but it doesn't follow that they are the "underdogs"; to be labeled as "gays" or "creeps". Gender stereotyping is so 2000 B.C.

There are some guys who are into the BJD hobby, not only in our dolly community (Manikamanila) but in here also, I tell you, they are totally straight, believe me as some of them have girlfriends/wives. I bet they are just artists, anime fanatics or normal hobbyist like most of us here. Personally, for me, it is not weird, it something common and natural. At the first place, who said that dolls are only for girls, hmmm!

The hobby teaches us to be ourselves, through are dolls we channel who we really are. I think in this hobby everyone (regardless of gender identity) is most welcomed.

I think that they should get some respect, as people of today, both man and woman excel in different and/or the same fields and interests.

 

When you encounter a man at a doll meet up, or on these forums, does it make you feel uncomfortable or resentful? How do you feel about the presence of men in this hobby in general?

Up to this day, I've never been to a meet (people in my city meets only to talk about off-topic dolls, mainly...), but when I'm on the net I'm guilty of assuming "girl" when talking to people because the vast majority of people I've found in this hobby are women. But I don't really care about gender, a collector is just that, a doll collector. I'm glad there are men out there who enjoy this hobby, though the onely one I know who likes dolls is a friend's boyfriend (and he just likes them, he doesn't own any). I'm not shy about talking to men, so I don't think I'll ever have a problem...

Now, if the guy happens to be hot, could be another matter

Please excuse me and ignore this part if the matter has already been talked about, I wanted to reply before reading anything, but saw this while scrolling down... I don't think The North-going Zax intended to mean what you thought, but merely pointed out a few adjectifs people usually dedicate to guys that have a non-tipically-male hobby/habit/attitude, sexual orientation or preferences non-withstanding. And most people believes that being effeminate or gay is a negative thing, so they are words still used as a derogative word by some.

 

I guess I just have no concept of "gender boundaries" in a sense. If a guy likes dolls, then he likes dolls. They are gorgeous... so I really can't blame them. In fact, the person who sold me my first (and currently, only) BJD was a guy, and is a member of these forums. Also, my husband is sort of into them as well, in the aspect that they're beautiful and I'm asking him to make stuff for her (he's a props-master). When I was looking at outfits and designs for ideas, he was right there next to me pointing out aspects that I should include on mine.

 

I know so many guys that collect BJD's it's surprising to me that this topic would even come up.

 

I saw this topic a while ago, and just wanted to add my two cents.
All of this just reminds me a lot of the fashion world.
Anyone who has seen Project Runway or knows anything about fashion design, knows not everyone into fashion is a girl or gay male.
(And is fashion/style not a huge part of the BJD hobby?)
I guess all I'm saying is, since I rather like fashion design, that I think it would be kind of ridiculous to feel off-put by a man being in the same hobby as me, even though it is rather female dominated.

 

This.

I personally would like to meet a guy into BJD that way we could be fruitcakes together. I'm odd enough as is since I'm a tomboy, likes dressing ambiguously, and a gamer... adding a doll collecting boyfriend would just be a notch. Also, he'd be a person who understands the hobby instead of judging. |D

I haven't really run into and talked to a male collector. I saw some in Comic Con but I was busy working to actually do anything other than glance first at the dudes and then at the gorgeous dolls they held and then walked away. Didn't feel anything other than I wished to go to the panel. :[

I think a large part of this would be where you live.

 

I am a straight male.

I've never been to a meet, but one time I was in the doll aisle at Toys R Us. A woman and her daughter were already there, and I was just looking for a particular doll. The woman rushed her daughter out of the aisle I haven't been very outgoing about my doll hobby in the real world ever since.

Only a few people I know in real life know about my dolls. I don't care too much about being judged as effeminate or gay because of reasons other than dolls, but I do fear the repercussions of what their knowledge of my dolls and their thoughts on the matter may have on my life. I don't have many real-life friends to begin with, though, so it's not hard to hide my dolls from anybody who might hurt me because of my dolls.

 

Dude. Judgmental lady. I mean, if I saw someone in any Toys R Us aisle that didn't look like a collector but were looking at toys, I'd assume they were buying a gift, not a creeper.

Then again, I guess as a toy collector in a family of toy collectors, I'm not that likely to assume someone couldn't be buying the toy for themselves...

=^__^=
Anneko

 

If you are a woman:

I was the last time I looked. ^-^;

When you encounter a man at a doll meet up, or on these forums, does it make you feel uncomfortable or resentful? How do you feel about the presence of men in this hobby in general?

I hate to say it but, No, I don't. For the most part, I'm there for the dollies, so the gender of the person sitting next to/across from/nearby me doesn't even enter into the equation. Half the time I don't care. And on the internet I care even less if it's a guy, girl, whatever. Internet people are genderless voices unless they specify otherwise. XD I'm just crazy like that.

 

I agree with this. (and just realized that's Jack and Ianto in your icon. )

Honestly, I wish there were more straight guys at doll meets - **Note to straight men: IT'S A GREAT PLACE TO MEET COOL SINGLE CHICKS!** If I see any, I usually assume they are there with someone else.

No offense meant to my gays! I'm a massive "fruit bat"/hag!