Dolls and Gender Divisiveness

When you encounter a man at a doll meet up, or on these forums, does it make you feel uncomfortable or resentful?

Anytime I encounter males in our fandom I'm not the least bit uncomfortable or resentful. If anything I become curious and snoop through their posts to see what else they might be into. xD I have nothing against anyone of a particular gender or sex sharing my hobbies.

I've only been to two meets where there were male doll owners. Once was at a con, he was near the bathrooms holding a doll. His doll was a favorite sculpt of mine and I immediately struck up a conversation with him. I initially assumed he was holding it for someone but after talking to him for a bit I came to find out he was the owner. xD

I like the fact that our hobby appeals to a wide range of people and is expanding and diversifying. Different types of people contribute to the fandom by offering new outlooks and creative input that might not otherwise be there.




How do you feel about the presence of men in this hobby in general?

I don't think there are that many males in the fandom but I think there are more now than ever. BJDs have gained a more significant presence themselves and as a result have garnered the interest of more people. No longer is it a a "super niche" kind of hobby. I also think our hobby would appeal greatly to many different types of people. Particularly those who like garage kits, characterizations and customizing. For instance, my boyfriend is really into arts and crafts and is supportive of my hobby. He likes to sew and knit things for my dollies and I love the little things he come up with. :3 I'm hoping he might become interested enough to enjoy them as much as I do.

I'd certainly like to see more male owners and what their presence would bring to the table. That also goes for all owners who are in the minority in our hobby.

 

At a convention one time, me and this completely random guy started digging through dollie stuff at this dollie stand, and we both squeed over dollie shoes. It was feckin' awesome. xD

Yeah, it's awkward for guys to get into the dollie scope. But they are there, definitely! And I think it's cool. And, well, it's brave, too. So more power to 'um! And they're definitely not alone. xP Hobbies and self expression are for everyone, always.

 

I'm a straight guy and I find BJD hobby quite interesting, but I only play/collect/buy female dolls, because for me, playing with male dolls is more akward because it's like playing with your own sexuality, and I never get attracted with male dolls, never (maybe because it's like being attracted to same sex... LOL.)

I've been collecting figure since I was a kid and all of them are female anime/game characters, no male at all.

Have you ever gone to a doll meet up and gotten dirty looks from any of the women there or, if in a public place, anyone else?
No. There are only few doll meet-up here in the Philippines maybe once in every two months.
But if I had a chance to attend one, I course I would go proudly.

Do you hide your hobby out of fear that you might be judged as effeminate, or "gay"?
Yes at first, but my family thinks it's okay and nothing to be worried and be shy about so now I'm so confident about it. Lol.

 

I don't think it is girls. Look, a girl won't be given odd looks if she plays with toy soldiers so why should a guy be given queer looks for playing with a doll. And I think it is ridiculous to judge a person's orientation based on a hobby alone. Playing with a doll dosen't make you gay as they are both straight and gay people in this hooby. If you can't respect people, how can they respect you? You don't have to agree with others' opinions, thoughts, way of life, but at least respect them.
Correct me if I am wrong but guys opinions tend to be drastically different from girls so in a sense they add on to the hobby by offering newer perspectives! And that's great!

 

I found this strange question and there are very few man’s responses.

My wife was fan of sewing, kitting and so and she had Barbies, one day I like to offer her a nice doll and after searches I found the BJD (without seeing one in reality) and I bought her one to be used for sewing. At this time I was thinking that dolls are a girl’s game. On my side I was used to prefer military models kits and video games. I would say “classical”.

Once the doll arrived (a Angel of dream MSD boy called “CHI&#8221 I fell in loves with this dolls. They were so different than any others dolls and open so much perspectives in modeling, photos, sewing and customizations.
It is like it a doll was a gate a world of creativity. I broke the chains of boring and force you to search in yourself to make it live.
I met very few guys but I met some, we share our knowledge and I found that it is quite cool to share things with girls, I would say, as a girl do. Without any innuendo. All the girls I met do not show any disturbance on my presence and has accepted me. I just feel shy when I take pics in public with my doll. Many people won’t understand even if I never get any remarks.

It’s hard for a boy to have the respect of girls on their field. An harder to be estimate. I feel these for my country (France) I have no ideas if it is different in US.

Even if I am gay friendly, I am married and do not feel effeminate. I just learn to sew, do the makeup and so and ask girls for advice. Lucky me I gave some advice in modeling. I have 8 dolls now and I’m completely in.

My son has a doll (not yet a BJD, he’s too young for) I hope to raise him in a perfect respect of both genders.

 

I work in a fabric store, so we get a lot of doll hobbyists. We have more female BJD collectors come in, but we have more male Western-style fashion doll collectors. We also have a wife and husband duo that collects antique dolls together. I don't have any issue with anyone who comes into work and doesn't get angry at me for not knowing how much fabric they need to 'make a dress', lol

 

I don't think any doll owner should be judged by their gender but I do know that society in general is bound have a bit of prejudice against male doll owners. So I do respect male doll owners for being brave enough to admit that they do own and play with BJDs or other types of dolls, and to bring their dolls out in public. I respect them even more when they actually do own male dolls as well! There's nothing wrong with girls playing with female dolls so why should there be anything wrong with a guy having a male doll.

Actually two of the most famous and respected members of the local BJD community are male. And I think it's great how there was actually quite an even mix of male and female BJD owners at the HK DPs I've been to, and a number of guys attending it with their girlfriends/wives. It's nice how they support their girlfriend/wives's hobby. I saw whole families too - couples exposing their young children (of both genders) to the world of BJDs~

 

I don't have a problem with anyone collecting BJDs, I'm just not comfortable with people posting sexual pictures or dolls in compromising positions..

 

I am a female in college, but ever since I was little I preferred the toys in the boy's section. Liking dolls is a new thing for me, but I'm not really surprised to see guys in here. I'm proud of all you guys who openly collect BJDs, because honestly people can't get past the word "doll" and to see them for what they really are: works of art. Just because we are different genders does not mean we can't have the same interests!

I would be weirded out if I saw them at a guy's house without knowing what they were, but I thought they were creepy when I first saw them online. If my boyfriend had collected BJDs, I would have started because of him. But I discovered them myself instead ^^ I support anyone who wants to join this hobby.

 

I am a guy and have been collecting Dollfie Dreams for a couple years now. I like to photograph my dolls outside and have been to several public places to do so. I was nervous at first but have become accustomed to how people may respond. Generally it is positive but I do get weird looks and people kind if pretending that they don't see a guy taking photos of a doll.

Last week I went to my first local doll meet. It was great fun and didn't even feel like I was there for 7+ hours! I was only one of two guys and the general consensus was they like when guys come to meets.

I don't hide the fact that I have dolls but I don't generally bring it up in normal conversation either. I am not worried about people thinking I am effeminate for this hobby because I hate gender norms. My view on the subject is to do what you want, male or female. Don't let society's warped perception turn you off to something you like!

 

I just watched Otomen the live action lol which is pretty awesome because it shows men can be masculine but at the same time they enjoy girlish things. It doesn't define who they are or their sexuality, its just a hobby they enjoy and are good at. I can't help but be bugged that we still live in a day where if you're a guy and you have some "girly" hobbies it makes you weak or weird or labeled as gay. I kind of wonder if there are any men in hiding who love and collect dolls but they can't tell their friends or family because they will be shunned or labeled.

To me I think its cool some guys can get into collecting dolls. Some people just have different tastes and I don't think anyone has to be embarrassed about it or try to change themselves so they can fit in. My brother who is happily married and has 4 kids loves chick flicks and is a huge romantic. He'll do girly romantic things for his wife and cry at some of the most sentimental things. On the other hand he is the loudest at football games and takes his manly hobbies seriously. He's just a big guy who likes chick flicks and is a romantic, that's all. So I don't think any guy has to be worried about collecting bjds.

I recommend reading the manga Otomen btw!

 

I don't think I've seen a man at any of the doll meets that I've been to so far. I would certainly welcome one it they showed up. It's hard enough finding people who even know what a BJD is let alone participate in the hobby itself. I think weather they're a man or woman isn't as important so much. I *think* h.NAOTO likes BJDs. i could be wrong, but I know he makes clothing for them.

 

I have thought on this topic some more. I have been reading the answers here from time to time even after I had answered myself, and see people commenting on this thread say that guys who collect dolls are often hetero and have families etc. or that they are "manly" in other parts of their lives, and that they don't judge these guys as "gay".

Which leads to the question why it would be wrong for a guy to be gay in the first place. I mean, is it wrong? Why should we need to prove that the guys in our hobby are "manly" and "hetero" despite collecting dolls instead of just... not judging at all?

How about: "Oh, this guy collects dolls." Period. Instead of: "Oh, this guy collects dolls, he is not gay though."

Only stopping superficial judgement about a person based on their sex or gender (I am not talking about the society implications and social science theory here, hence not of men and women as the sex class, rather about individuals) would really help against the gender divisiveness in the hobby - and in the world.

 

I would be happy to see a guy involved in this hobby. Most of the doll owners I've talked to were all women, and it would be awesome if more guys got into the hobby.

 

I think having more guys into this hobby is a great idea. All of the doll owners I've spoken to in person so far are all women. It would be nice to have a different gender (not that there are many genders XD) perspective on BJDs. There is nothing wrong with a person (regardless of gender) collecting BJDs. It's an 'open' hobby that an individual can invest his or her time, effort and money in.

 

Well I'm 14 male and gay I'm out of the closet, everyone knows. I enjoy the hobby a lot. I was at a doll meet in the beginning of this month is was at a convention and me and 2 friends were cosplaying. I was crossplaying though(crossdressing in cosplay) as a dead hooker. And I was one of 2 boys in the room but everyone was comfortable the boy and I got to talking and it's intresting that all though we had nothing in common we had everything in common and got along great. The women were amazingly excepting and loved that they had men to talk to as well.(even though we were gay) I assume there are straight men into the hobby as well though. I mean can you judge anyone for loving these adorable dollies! I mean I wouldn't! Xoxo

 

Anybody who is genuinely interested in this hobby and loves the dolls as much as I do is automatically cool in my book. Besides, as a 29-year-old, supposedly adult, woman, I think I'd be a hypocrite if I said I had a problem with a guy who likes dolls. (I do have the bad habit of assuming that anyone on the forum is a girl, just because I know there aren't many guys, and sometimes it's hard to tell from the user names.)

The majority of my experience of guys-in-the-hobby is actually with guys who have gotten into it because of their significant others. The first doll I ever sold was to a woman who was buying the doll for her husband. The SO of one of my best friends owns an OT Impl doll android girl. He's often the only guy at the meets he has been at.

 

That's a wonderful idea, idealistic though. Because if we were able to stop doing that, then what's to stop us judging another human being on outward appearance at all? Like, I'm a girl, period. Let my character determine all further judgements. What's to stop us ending violence against each other because we're all just people, in all our many forms, different genders and colours? It's a beautiful idea Dollblue, and I truly want to see people start putting it into action, I just think that it'll take more than dolls to accomplish it. Still, we've got to start somewhere! Carry on.

 

I went to a meetup presenting as male and certainly no one gave me any flack, and I wasn't paying attention to the people around.
Why would I hide my hobby o wo? It's a doll, people collect all kinds of things!

 

I think gender non-conformity sort of correlates to sexuality a great deal of the time, because of the fact that when we are young, those of us men who don't necessarily conform to one gender ideal or another, are then open to different social experiences. That being said, I am a very "male" gay man, whatever that means to you, and I don't see my collecting dolls even upsets my gender balance, as I am more balanced rather than worried that something is "girly" or "manly". I have been out long before I was interested in anything other than a barbie or little mermaid doll at the age of 5, and didn't start truly collecting until a couple years ago. So, being gay and being a man has little to do with my image of myself in terms of my interests, as they vary far too greatly to categorize myself into a group, so I just don't even try. That's me, and that's all I got to say about that.