Dolls and Gender Divisiveness

I don't seem it as any different from a girl. In all honesty I seriously wouldn't think twice if I saw a guy with a doll. I speak to guy collectors and some of my good friends collect figures. It's all the same to me. If they are happy and we have a common interest it's great to have a friend, guy or girl.

 

If you are a woman:
When you encounter a man at a doll meet up, or on these forums, does it make you feel uncomfortable or resentful?
Why would it make me uncomfortable or resentful? They are as much human as I am.

How do you feel about the presence of men in this hobby in general?
I happen to know guys in the hobby and I think it's great. I don't see why it is different from women in the hobby.

 

I absolutely love seeing guys in the hobby! But once at a convention, there was a really shy man, who came off as really creepy to us girls...I wanted to get past that judgement and I asked him if he had any msd clothes he was selling, but he said he only had SD Still though, he kind of creeped me out.

 

Honestly there's little difference to me to creepy men and creepy women in the hobby. There's always some in the group!
But we have a Lot of guys in our group so i don't notice the difference. Though to start most of the guys had DD's etc and the girls had Resin. Slowly we've been infecting each other. Viynl guys have resin, resin girls have vinyl.

 

I'm glad to see so many positive responses about guys in the hobby. It's always made me feel a bit awkward, personally. I've been to the panel at A-kon twice, but both times I stayed close to my best friend (who is female) and kind of hovered near the back of the room. I saw one other guy there last time but I still felt pretty nervous about socializing. I think I worry too much about being perceived as creepy or something.

I've never really received any dirty looks from anyone and no one has ever said anything negative, but I do tend to hide my love of dolls when I'm in public because I already feel like I look too effeminate and having a doll with me doesn't help.

 

If you are a woman:
When you encounter a man at a doll meet up, or on these forums, does it make you feel uncomfortable or resentful?
Not at all! That would be like men being uncomfortable or resentful if a woman was into comic books or sports. Maybe some are, but those that I know would find that an attractive quality. It's the same thing for me. It's great seeing men enjoy this hobby; it isn't, and shouldn't be, limited to women.

How do you feel about the presence of men in this hobby in general?
It's a breath of fresh air! As I already said, this hobby isn't strictly for one sex.

 

When you encounter a man at a doll meet up, or on these forums, does it make you feel uncomfortable or resentful? How do you feel about the presence of men in this hobby in general?

No way. Not even a little so far. It's great. If anything some women make me uncomfortable. I think there should be more guys. Everyone has a creative side of some sort. Men that choose to use this avenue really stand out to me in a positive way.

 

The only awkwardness is when I use a feminine pronoun and it turns out to be a guy. It's not even so much that I assume everyone is a girl, but I am, so that's the usage I go to unless I know otherwise.

 

I always get really excited when there is a guy in the hobby because it shows that gender stereo types don't bother them. I met a guy who was super interested in my doll, and wanted to know more about them and by the end of our discussion had decided to buy one. I think its neat that there are guys who aren't afraid to like dolls.

 

I think it's cool when men are into the hobby! I'd love to share something as dear to me as my dolls to my boyfriend or husband. I think a lot of other women would too!

I don't care if he's straight or gay, I don't think that has anything to do with liking dolls. If I had a son and he wanted to play with dolls I'd be fine with it and wouldn't think he was going to grow up to be gay. Likewise, if my daughter wanted to play with trucks or didn't like dolls and dresses I wouldn't push her into it.

 

I loved boys toys when I was a kid. I still love model railways traditionally still a boy's toyz... and I know men who love dolls, both hetero and homsexual and I find there's nothing wrong with it. One of the is a man who loves upholsteery and makes the most beautiful chairs, he's a Dad a husband and a fantastic f urniture maker. The other is a wonderful guy, and he has made the most beautiful dolls and he's such a talented man and I admire his great talent... and some men who make beautiful clothes... a beautiful doll, for whatever reason they are collected don't belong to one gender. If you think of all the wonderfull Japanese dolls as well. And sculptors, artists, designers... so many offshoots who stroll into the world of dolls, clothes, miniatures - this is what makes collecting dolls such a delightful journey

 

Have you ever gone to a doll meet up and gotten dirty looks from any of the women there or, if in a public place, anyone else?


Yes and it was very inconsiderate. I threw a meet-up a few times... a larger one and a smaller one.

And a few times, men did come, and despite my being a man as well, they passed judgment...it was really spiteful! I didn't judge them, but I was sad that I didn't end up making close friends with another male hobbyist.


Do you hide your hobby out of fear that you might be judged as effeminate, or "gay"?

Naw. I do a lot of things most heteronorm people would consider gay....Wearing a cavet and a waistcoat out for dinner, for example. I'm actually super straight ^+^;;;;

But I have a really nice camera and I have a doll dressed up really pretty, posing for the camera. Chances are, I'm not going to think someone is effeminate for taking photos of a doll...I hope folk think the same for me. You've got a doll and you're taking photos of her/him, chances are, it's a photo project

I play with my dolls just a little bit publicly, too. Today, my Littlefee had her pointing finger on, and she pointed at a bouquet of flowers to show off to my wife...a few people stared at us, but they were to into admiring my doll than passing judgment "D

 

I actually get really happy to see guys at a doll meet. It's nice to see a guy not care how a hobby makes him look and just does it.

 

I have encountered some middle aged men who only collects cute little princessy dolls.
At first I couldn't decide if I thought it was creepy or cute. But now I think that it's just cute.

I have talked to any guys in the hobby, but it's cool with dudes playing with dolls.
I don't think this hobby is particularly girly apart from the very feminine view on the male body. Male dolls pleases women's eyes in general, and not other men's.
Many dolls can be made to look very macho, if that's what the owner wants. Or you can make them look cute and princessy. I think this hobby is for everyone.
A male BJD can look just as macho as any action-figure, and if guys who like guys like Sephiroth, Cloud, Dante or random other videogame character or anime dude, then I wouldn't be terribly surprised if they liked BJDs.

 

Like I've said before I'm a 15 year old boy. My apperance is very androgynous. Being who I am I dress uniquely I do prefer womens clothings accessories etc. But being in the doll hobby has nothing to do with that. Before I even realized I was Homosexual I had discovered Bjds and fell in love. I always blamed it on my creativeness.
if some women would dislike a man for being in a hobby that is spreading quickly. Can't men dislike women for being in the same hobby?
My questions is are there any guys out there on Doa land that dislike sharing the hobby with women? I'm curious to know.

 

female here. there are 2-3 guys i have met at my local meetup and they are no different from the female collectors. everyone has their personality quirks, and that goes for all genders.

no, i have never felt creeped out or uncomfortable either. also, i'm involved in DD collecting which mostly has male predominance in collectors, while i haven't been to a DD meet online i find that DD collectors (men) are usually very kind, polite type people who i wouldn't mind meeting IRL.

creepy people =/= gender.

 

I've never met one in person, but I've met several guys on doll boards who are into BJDs (and other dolls) and I have no problem with that. It doesn't make me feel weird... unless I accidentally referred to that person as "her" before finding out his gender.

 

I'm a woman, and know lots of men who like dolls. Doesn't bother me at all. More people with whom I can share my love of the hobby. I think outside of the hobby, that are many things preceived as strange, and a male who like dolls is yet another one of these things, but in the doll comunity, I don't feel that is an issue at all.

 

I haven't gone to any meet ups yet, but, as a guy, it does make me feel a little self conscious when I go out in public to do shoots. So far, though, I haven't gotten any bad looks or remarks. Just people wondering if I'm shooting some sort of film.

 

Have you ever gone to a doll meet up and gotten dirty looks from any of the women there or, if in a public place, anyone else?

Yes, I've been to a few, however all but one were in "Maid Cafes" (a japanese style anime/otaku/gamer/cosplay cafe with waitresses in lolita styled dresses) so we were definitely not the oddest of sights there. Guys would often bring their garage kit dolls for sale or trade and cosplayers would bring plushies or weapons with them, so we were not considered odd for having dolls on the table. Besides, everytime I've been meetups there's always been at least another guy there.
Only once did a mother sitting in another table with her little girl stared at us for some time, but she looked more puzzled about what we were doing than being judgemental.

Do you hide your hobby out of fear that you might be judged as effeminate, or "gay"?

Yes and no. I am gay and I'm out to everybody, however I don't like being judged over what I like so I don't bring my dolls out in public much, but everybody at work and all of my friends have seen my dolls or at least pictures of them and don't find them weird.
Also, all but one of my doll friends (both boys and girls) are gay themselves so we feel very comfortable with each other at meetups.
I only hide my hobby from people I've just met or people I am considering dating until I'm certain they won't think that it is weird. If anyone I'm dating makes a negative remark about them, I will stop pursuing any relationship with that person.
I would actually love to date another collector