Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

I feel you on this one. It is kind of hard to justify spending so much on a hunk of resin (amazing and lovely as it is) when people are starving. But would you really send that money to the poor anyway? If you didn't spend it on the doll, you'd probably spend it on something else or put it away. That's what I'd do. It's great that you're concerned about those who are less privileged. If you really want to get away from the guilt (which I think is unreasonable, but I don't think my opinion will sway you) then alternate between buying a doll and sending the same cost to a charity. I don't think using our resources on ourselves is sinful or wasteful, as long as it's something you love and that you worked to obtain fairly.

 

it is the nature of the mind to try and justify the stuff we do... money is only money and to put such a measure on it is again only human nature... the pleasure and the healing I get from my dolls grows all the time... we are privileged to live in the society we live in and the more happiness we give ourselves the more happiness radiates outwardly... let's build a heaven on earth... guilt is an emotion that does nothing positive for anyone but recognising it at least enables us to let it go...

I am impressed with Sooms clever choice of names and I believe it is another indication of the diversity of how we are healing ourselves and the planet... looking at the names of my recently acquired soom Spinel and Beryl says so much...

"The energy of Spinel is the energy of beauty and known as the stone of immortality, bringing freshness to all endeavors and initiatiing rejuvenation to that which is beginning to degrade. Spinel can be used to provide for the synthesis of the energy of the chakras of the physical body and to connect the major and minor chakras to the crown chakra of the ethereal body. This connection enhances visions as well as growth toward enlightenment and also furthers endeavors in the areas of mysticism and communication"

"Beryl opens and activates both the crown and solar plexus chakras, providing for synthesis between the intellect and spirituality, and inducing a "wise" intellect. It stimulates activity, adaptability and vitality. It is said to have been one of the stones used in the breastplate of the high priest."

I believe the dolls have incredible healing powers for all of us.

 

Guilt huh? I think it's hard not to feel guilt about spending that much money! Especially when you don't have a lot. The only reason I feel guilt right now, is because I'm saving up for an apartment with my fiance. But I'm only letting myself use money from my wig sales, and even then, I put half of it in our savings. So I think as long as you don't spend money for things more pressing, or important, you shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's something you love after all!

 

Yeah, i do feel guilty sometimes. But then again, i did earn and save the money myself so i guess which makes it all worth the while. I do think sometimes that i should have spent it on other essential items but i simply resisted getting those too x3;

 

I feel bad spending money on anything except food, clothing and my home. I live a frugal life overall, though, vegan and green. I have given back to the community much more than I think I've received from it. Generally, I have an active and private life, and my dolls fit that. So, all things considered, I am happy with my decision.

 

I always tell myself that there's no reason to deny myself everything I want, and make myself miserable, just because there are people worse off than me. I mean, as much as I'd like to help others, I'd like to enjoy my own life as well. Other than buying craft supplies and massive amounts of clothes from thrift stores, as well as presents for people (generally at Christmas); I don't really spend much money.

I still feel selfish sometimes, but... you can only do what you can, really. As if that made any sense

 

This is going to sound maybe horrible.

But I feel more or less no guilt at all. I spent three months doing extra cleaning at work for that money. And cleaning at an old people home isn't always the nicest of jobs!

So through those three months all I did was think of how rewarding it would be when I got my doll. I think given the chance people, most of them in my place would have spent the money on something they liked. I also usally ALWAYS spend money on others. My friends, family, partner. I worked out that most of my money from my actual pay dosen't even get spent on me!
Even when I go out I give homeless people money. Yes I know your surpose to by them food but when I am missing my train and a poor old homeless man is sitting they're asking politly. I can't help but spin round and give him some decent change. (Though only happens when I go to london)

So at the end of the day for once. I thought I'd get something for myself that I'd enjoy more then a laptop or and Iphone.

 

I feel that if you work for something and you earn enough for one of these dolls. You should be able to get it with no guilt because sure people are suffering but everyone deserves some happiness and a treat once in a while. The BJD I just order is a gift to myself and I will take great pleasure in spoiling her when she arrives.

Salutations from Synn

 

I think about this alot too. But perhaps in a more selfish sense. I mean...I am not thinking about third world countries when I'm trying to buy clothes for my doll that cost more than the clothes I buy for myself. What I think about is my problem with prioritizing my financial situation. I need to pay my bills....but they sometimes get pushed to the side so I can buy just one more thing! Only one! The biggie is...I need to look for a new place to live soon....but I am more enamored with my new doll I'm getting...and what I should buy for him. I'm bad, I know! I can't help it. And hey...I'm always giving the homeless money when I see them. I don't even carry cash and I pulled money out of an ATM for some poor gal. So...I do good deeds here and there. I don't feel any guilt really.

 

I do feel bad a little little bit... I don't mean to sound mean and selfish, but at the end of the day you can't let it make you miserable, because thats the way it is.
You were born into a family in which you have a fair chance at life and education and a job and of course- money. On the other hand someone was born into a third world country where such an amount of money is something they will not come across often if at all. Its not the persons fault that they were born into such a good family with money, therefore guilt should really be made minimal in that sense. I'm not saying we shouldn't care, but that point should never be held against someone.

If someone has worked for the money, then they deserve it.
Oh, and off topically- Of course priorities come first... If a member of my family neded surgery for something and didn't have the money, I would personally pay for them, because I value their life more

 

Well if it was something like a family member needing assistance with medical, of course things like that come first. But I won't lie and say that I didn't let myself go without food so I could have something else I really wanted. I've lived of Ramen and grilled cheese sometimes so I can spend my money on other things. Like dolls. LOL

 

I can feel a little guilt sometimes, but then I think about for how long I had to break my back to actually be able to buy a doll. While helping my family and all the crisis in life.
I try to give to charity every month, okay it's to save animals and children.
But I think they are extremely important too right?
So yeah I can feel guilty, but I don't let the guilt get to me too much.

 

In the grand scheme of things, buying a $800 doll isn't going to take food out of anyone's mouth, so no one should feel guilty about that. Now, I did contribute to a couple of charities at the end of last year and guess what? They SOLD my personal information to other "charities" and also for-profit companies! So now my mail box is stuffed every day with pleas for money or stupid catalogs I don't want. I can't make it stop! And I think to myself "how many trees are they cutting down for this?" then I chuck it all right into the recycle bin. Sorry for going OT but it felt good to rant about that a little.

 

not really, I mean, most of those who live homeless, not saying it their falut, i see some that 'can' pull themself out of that place, it a matter of how hard you choose to work for it. But i work just hard for my dolls, heck i work 6 day a week, 9-7 (sometime i don't even leave the shop until 8 or 9 and we are 'suppose' to close at 7!!!!'....longs, long hours, sometimes i go weeks without eating, so no gulit trip for me, I pay for my dolls with my hard earn money. I spend, but save much more, i always make sure to make a limit for my spending, and if that certain amount sink down, i don't spend the rest on anything until i get it back up to the limit once more.

 

My mom pays for charities, and you cant even justify if there going to take money for themselves or really use it all for the cause. So no its my money i have to deal with my life so i need to buy things i want to keep me sane in this crazy world. I spend alot on my bjds but i dont feel guilty.

 

I see it like this: You earned your money and to earn your money you had to have a job and to have to have a job you had to put yourself out there and become employed and to be a good candidate for employment you had to get educated and get trained with skills and -

You know where I'm going with this. It's the concept of earning or working towards something.

It's your money. You earned it. You worked for it.

So spend it. Reward yourself for your own hard work and encourage yourself to keep working harder.

Starving children in third world countries and other such situations really upsets me and yes, I do try and to help what I can - fundraisers and volunteer work and whatnot, but I also realize that I've worked hard to get to where I'm at and spending some money on myself isn't and shouldn't be a crime. Additionally, I'm just making my way in terms of being financially independent and my budget is still considered to be fairly tight and so when I do make purchases, I am very conscientious about it. Even without spending a lot of money on myself, my budget is tight and so without being on firmer financial ground, I can't realistically help everyone else without making sure I won't fall myself in the process of helping others.

Where there might be some of us here who are very financially well off, I think most of us are working citizens of whatever country we come from - and yes, doing chores for allowance money counts! - and our budgets don't allow for much major purchase spending so when it happens, it's a treat and I definitely believe that everyone should be able to guilt-free treat themselves now and again as a reward for their hard work.

I also think that most of us are also fairly conscientious people - we'd have to be to be debating something like this! - and would help what we could when faced with a worthy cause. I mean, we've probably all done some form of community service at some time or another, right? Donating food or clothes? Doing a fundraiser? Habitat for Humanity? Supporting a fundraiser? Volunteering to babysit for free, even!

Rewarding yourself for hard work isn't a crime and shouldn't be because you had to work to get there and you are expending your time and energy to get to where you are.

And again, since I don't think the majority of us are extremely well off... a treat definitely shouldn't be a crime.

If we want to talk about guilt trips and crime, let's talk about these:

When parents splurge on themselves and then refuse to take their kids to the doctor when the kids are sick and in need of medical intervention because 'Doctors are too expensive!'.

When people who do donate money to charities get their money embezzled by greedy assholes looking to make a quick buck off of people's emotions.

When the governments of these third world nations are corrupt and refuse to right the wrongs, making it everyone ELSE'S responsibility to see them through and to ensure that human rights and dignity are preserved as much as possible.

When people have kids when they can't in any way, shape, or form afford them.

When people who are multimillionaires and billionaires utilize things like tax shelters to keep from paying taxes and then get a big fat check from the IRS that they then spend on yet a 5th house somewhere in the world.

... I'm going to underscore that last one.

Those people are able to provide for themselves and their families and are able to treat themselves whenever they want to AND still have enough to donate enough to charities and causes or start their own projects to make a difference.

Yeah, everyone needs a treat every so often, but really. A 5th house? A third yacht?

And then there are the people who are poor and struggling... but refuse to help themselves and I'm sorry, but I won't help anyone who won't try and help themselves and this is why I oftentimes prefer active volunteering to actual monetary donations when/if possible.

So those are my thoughts on this topic and I realize that I am rather vocal about my opinions and so I apologize in advance if I've offended anyone as offense was never meant.

 

Of course I have that kind of feeling. I like my doll and I think people can have something for their hobby. Although my doll is not cheap (300AU$is not cheap i think), I think it's worthy.
However, about accessories for them, I try to make myself. It's because I'm in harsh condition, and I think they're expensive. I think there are 'bubbles' on the price.

Doll makes me happy. So I recognize the worth of my doll. But always, I hesitate to buy something for her. It's dilema.

 

definatly guilt really get me, because of what i read in the papers and etc. and here i spend hundreds on just for a doll. but no matter what i love my doll to death...but there is donation program out there that you can help even in with a little, so that always ease on my guilt a little bit.

 

I think that guilt is a subjective emotion..
Should I feel guilty because that woman held the door for me?
Should I assume that because I have the means and the ability, I should sacrifice my own happiness just to gain some sort of false satisfaction?
The truth is, the only person we are in control of is ourselves. And to assume that the well-being of the world rests on our giving to others is nothing more than Martyrdom in my opinion.
Now I'm not saying to be selfish and greedy, but charity starts with your heart.
Sometimes a smile and a kind word is worth a lot more than a dollar.

Bottom line:
Do what you can, when you can, but always, ALWAYS, take time out for yourself.

 

Reform has to start somewhere, some places will not give chances for people to get out of the difficult times. Most people want to get out but through the help of their government and local community can real reform happen. The truth is that places like soup kitchens need volunteers more than they need money.