Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

I think I've mentioned before around DoA that I am really pessimistic and paranoid. And that even applies to charities for me... I'm always pondering if the charity is actually spending money on the cause... lord only knows how much donated money they use on commercials that play every commercial break... And besides, sometimes they show the same kids for years in the same commercial, what if that sickeningly cute face is already dead? And even if I sell all my belongings and give it to causes, that won't be enough to change the fact there are countries that have wars going on in them causing hardship. And besides, while not dying of starvation is an immediate worry, just giving food to people constantly solves nothing. Most charities and causes never talk about how these people will ever manage to sustain themselves. We can't keep feeding poor countries forever. I just don't think that is reasonable. I also feel really weird about donating to disaster relief for nature occurrences that happen every year like hurricanes. My pessimistic brain just goes "Uh... you had one last year, and the year before that and the year before that and the year before that, shouldn't you expect something like that to happen again?!" Call me insensitive if you must.

So I guess I have given up on helping the world and only bother with my well-being and happiness (and of those I know well) and stopped caring about the world as a whole. So no twinge of guilt about the dollies.

I feel much more happy about dolls than having knowledge I kept some kid fed anyway.

 

Guilty? yeah. But only in the same way that I feel guilty about spending large amounts of money on pretty much anything.
I'm sure it would be better served sitting in my bank, in case I need it for something more 'real' one day.
But oh well.

 

I don't feel guilty about spending money on my dolls as long as I keep it within what I can afford. I will not, for instance, go into debt for a doll. Also I like to feel I'm getting value for my money--I don't agree with the kind of 'well if it costs more its better' thinking all the time.
For many years I worked as a RN, a helping people profession and I think I did reasonably well with it. I also donated money to charities, helped many friends and family etc. Then I got really sick myself--and my spouse and I pretty much had to cope with my illness alone. Why? I think because I had treatment and medication resistant Major Depression which is really disabling and people don't know what to say or do. Anyway, when I started to feel better and got interested in life again, dolls were one of the things that caught my interest.
In some ways, I am a very different person now than I was before my illness and the dolls are very much a part of the new me. The power of play is one thing that helps keep me healthy and its a lot cheaper than therapy--one visit to a psychiatrist costs more than my most expensive doll. So no--I don't feel guilty. And I really like that with the ABJD I'm helping support individual artists in a cross cultural context too.

 

Well as the matter of fact I do feel guilty the moment after I spend my money on my doll, because its really the first time I spent such huge amount of money, although they’re from my part time job but I just couldn’t imagine how my parents would said if they found out, of cause, I wouldn’t expect any thing good from them…but what’s done has been done and I thought I should get over with it and be excited about my incoming doll, as for the charity thing,, umm.. I must admit that I’m not a very charity kind of person and I would rather save all my money in the bank than committing donations, because realistically I just don’t think I’m rich enough to help out those poor kids or whatever society group who need assistance…but I do give out money when the door knock people comes up, I don’t know if that counts *lol

 

I do have a twinge of guilt. But I think that's society telling me that I shouldn't lavish myself. There's nothing wrong with hedonism, in my opinion. There's something wrong when that turns to glutton and self-hatred, but fulfilling one's desires for beauty is completely natural.

Some people get spa treatments, buy clothes, sit and meditate for hours on end, reach nirvana, collect stamps. The only difference in all of these is that they are different paths to joy. I think, humble enough to admit if I'm wrong, that true enlightenment doesn't necessarily have to come from getting rid of all of your materials. Enlightenment is learning and celebrating what makes you happy, complete, content. I express myself by the things around me. I can't express all who I am through my body nor even my words so I extend my energy to everything I have that surrounds me.

When I begin to look at it that way, price doesn't seem to matter. I still have that twinge of guilt. I think the majority of people do. But, mainly, it comes down to an acceptance of yourself. This is part of who I am as much as my beliefs are, my spirit is, my limbs are. This is a definition of part of who I am.

I give who I am, also, to other people. Because I do not always desire to do so monetarily, I do with my actions or my art or my ideas. Charity is not confined to money. Charity is not confined.

 

I do feel bad for spending my money on dolls. But I don't have anything else really to spend it on, not even clothes unless I'm desperate.

But i get really mad when people waste food.

I sometimes feel so bad for spending the money on Ashen that I hate him, and I can't even look at him. But later on when i get him back out of his box and he gives me a puppy-dog look, I love him again.

 

Sort of. I really don't think it is right to spend money you don't have on things like dolls. But if I save up for them, then sure it's my hard saved money right?! And I look at it this way, people spend all kinds of money on things like Coach purses, Jimmy Choo shoes, computers, flat screen tv's etc etc. The difference between these things, and collectible dolls, is that THEY can't sell those things back, they only LOSE value. Whereas dolls, generally gain value, and if need be I can sell them, and get back what I paid, in some cases more. So I look at them as a form of investment.

 

I know the guilt that you are talking about. I'm very cautious with my money and I keep close tabs on it, making sure that I always have enough for emergencies, be they personal or friend emergencies. To me, spending so much money is unfathomable and even the price of my own doll had once made me sick, but the more time that I spent with him, the less I thought about the price until now I don't think about it at all.
I think of it this way: if I want something so expensive so badly and I know that I don't need it, then I work very hard for it so that I have my reasoning--my loophole--around my dangerously robotic/logical brain. Even if I can work hard for half the price it will all be worth it. But then again, I strongly believe that hard work is what truly makes something worthwhile. If you work hard for that doll, then you deserved it.

I'm struggling across that same dilemma again, unfortunately. I've fallen in love with another doll--one less expensive than 800 of course--but when I think about how much food 400 dollars can get me, or how much farther that can help me to live I get that sick feeling again...My doll can't die of starvation, but I surely can...My doll can't pay for my college expenses, and my parents certainly won't. I guess when it all comes down to it, it all depends on financial stability, really. That and how much you love that doll...
Ack, there I go, probably contradicting myself again >.<

 

i feel that sometimes we have to spend money for ourself even if it cost quite abit. maybe like rewarding yourself. so whether feeling gulity i think not really, unless you get the money in some illegal way, or by betraying your consious and such.

no one can be a perfect saint. even though there maybe people who is willing to give up most of their things/life to those ppl in need, there are still some bounderies like basic needs that they have to hold on more or less.

so i guess its a matter of how you see it, and how much you can give.

 

I would wonder a person's real need for the doll, if they have to weigh a doll against those expenses. Sometimes it is better to forgo the doll. Because it can be gotten later at some point. (I don't care what anyone says, if you wanted to find the first bjd ever made, you could one day) I feel that once everything has been taken care of, and I've saved on the side enough to send off for my doll then there really can't be any need to feel guilty behind it.

Example being that if I saved $20 a week to get a $400 dollar doll. My bills are caught up and food's in the fridge, is there really a reason to feel guilty about forgoing ice cream money to put into a treat for later fund? It wouldn't have to be $20 it could be just whatever's leftover after you pay your bills, then put money into a rainy day fund, you know? What's really to feel guilty about?

Perhaps I'll never really understand that type of guilt, because I was taught that wants come after needs. Wants are things that we buy to make ourselves happier, and we usually get what we want with what's left over after we take care of what needs to be taken care of.

To me, we don't need our dolls we want them. We need food, utilities, and to pay off our other necessary expenses, and some of us feel that we need emergency money. Those are needs. Dolls and ice cream are things that we want. I try to enjoy other things that don't require much (if any) money, while I'm saving, because there's no rule saying that you can't splurge a bit for some instant gratification, and it makes the process go by a bit easier.

If one can't take care of what needs to be taken care of they probably shouldn't be looking to drop money on dolls. It goes along with that whole "Going into debt for dolls" thread. Like the person I quoted said. It all comes down to financial stability in the end. Though, I would assume that a not too financially stable person would have better sense than to sink money into a doll when there are other things to be taken care of.

Dolls vs. Necessities really shouldn't be a hard choice, in my humble opinion. But that's just me.

 

I do feel bad about it sometimes when I REALLY ponder on it, but... I see it this way. I am blessed enough to have this kind of money to spare, and I should spend it in a way that makes me happy. Everyone deserves something that makes them happy. When I was a little girl, my mother couldn't afford nice dolls for me to play with, so in my opinion, I somewhat deserve to have nice ones now that I am an adult and can afford to do so.

I mean, it's not like I'm starving myself and my husband so I can buy doll stuff.

 

I think that the only time you should feel guilty is when you are not paying bills, never going out with your friends ( because you are broke) or letting people down.

budgeting is key

 

I do get guilt trips over spending on any of my geeky stuff, whether it's doll stuff or DVDs or what have you. This guilt comes almost exclusive of the cost. I know that this is largely due to having parents who came from little money, and my mother in particular has a very strong frugal streak (to the point of absurdity at times). I'm not as good with money as I should be, I have debt, and therefore I probably deserve some of the guilt I feel. ^^;;; I'm trying to improve, but it's taking a while to drill certain concepts through my self-indulgent brain.

I have a relatively easy job, so I'm certainly not going to take the "I work hard for my money, I can do what I want with it!" attitude. I make pretty good money, and I do spend it as I please. I don't save as much as I should. I've used retail therapy in the past but try to keep the damage manageable.

But I'm not sure that guilt is something a person can just turn off because someone else doesn't share it or like it that they feel that guilt. Emotions don't always come from a position of perfect logic. I can certainly see how people constantly talking about how bad they feel for spending gobs of money on a doll would get annoying. On the other hand, I fully appreciate that sometimes people just want to vent or get some positive feedback from someone who could possibly understand their feelings.

 

This'll probably sound really selfish, but it comes down to personal happiness, in my book. No one can really judge what will make them happy, but once they've found it, it'd be inhuman not to go for it. If buying a doll makes you happy, then you'll do it, if sponsering a child will make you happy, you'll do that instead, or do both. But buying a doll is no different to any other luxury, if you didn't buy them, or go to resteraunts, or move house, or whatever, would you give the money to charity? No use feeling bad over this in particular, if the same amount of money on something else wouldn't provoke the same reaction.

There's no point fighting yourself and feeling bad about anything, since in the end if you can't make yourself happy, you can't do anything. People who go through the greatest harships are often the happiest in the bunch, because they know better than to mope over what could've been or what has been (my god that sounded awful and cynical... sorry o_o; I'm bad at arranging my thoughts)

 

Nope. If not on dolls I spend my money on books, other toys, cds... Due to not having much monthly bills I have enough left to spend it on dolls without getting in debt or feeling guilty about what else I could have spent it on because the alternatives are hobby/fun related too. I'm gonna spend my money on silly things like dolls while I still can and not feel guilty over it cause that totally ruins the fun.

 

No not really. I work for the money I spend. Yes there are people starving in the third world but it's not my fault that the government spend money on guns instead of helping them :/ . It sucks but I didn't cause it so why should I feel guilty?

 

Yes, I feel guilty. I feel guilty over everything that I buy which I don't really need, though. CDs, extra/non-essential food, cinema tickets ... I do give to charities that are very important to me, but that doesn't really lessen the burden ... oh wow, I sound so miserable ^^;

I had initially made the decision to not get into dolls due to the expense, but ... yeah well. Obviously that didn't work >.>;

 

It's something she said. My mom. She made me see it. I even didn't notice before.


I feel deeply guilty about it now. The fact that somebody doesn't have enough money
to buy food every day or has to lend from his/her family or friends all the time (without ever
being able to give the money back) just to survive - pay rent and other bills. I even know a
couple of guys who live like that.


I, myself, am too young to own huge amounts of money. The doll I bought was from my
money I had saved ages. I haven't got a job, since I'm still a student, so I don't have any
new money. So I haven't got anything, really to give even for charity or something. But
I doubt that would ever make me feel any better.


So I don't even have to go to Africa to see actually how wealthy are we. And not only
that, but how vain we are, too.
And no, we're not "that wealthy" really, but you can't make any excuses about that.
Dolls (and everything that has got something to do with them, like wigs, shoes, clother,
the whole damn business) are just toys, you do nothing with them, and yet you buy so
much money for just one of them. You use your money for your own - is it amusement,
or just a beautiful thing to watch every day while that kind of amount of money would save lives.


I feel sick.


(And btw, try not getting offended. My english sucks, really, so I might not have ment what you
think. And the you isn't really there for you guys, but it's more used as a passive. Only way I
figured to put some thoughts about this)

 

Not really...I work for my money and spend it on my hobbies that I enjoy. I put aside the money to buy so I don't feel "bad".

Also, I know there is others out there that have no food or even a warm place to sleep at night. That's why I give some money away every year. Even if you give a $1 you are still helping.

 

Well, for me...

I feel guilty if I buy myself some organic chocolate. >D

So I think pampering myself through a doll would be good. I hate to buy clothes for myself and in general I hate spending money on myself in general. So I hope that I an get beter with it. I want to be able to basically tell myself that it's okay to splurge a little.

I donate my clothes, I also give money to shelters when I hit PetsMart which is often. I always buy a book at Borders or other bookstores and donate them to MUST ministries whenever they do it. And at Christmas I'm trying to get the little angels off of the Christmas trees and buying care packages.

If you feel guilty try doing some of those things. Find something outside of dolls you feel passionate about. maybe you can donate to a no kill animal shelter if you like animals. Or help out with a literacy center if you like reading. =D

As of now I'm young and my college's being paid for but I know when I transer I won't have the money but I can make it up by saving. I don't want too much. Just a doll, a wig, and a few outfits. What the doll gives back to me is what I want. Happiness, a sense of purpose to take care of something human like but without it being like a baby or anything! the point is, it's my money and I can do what I want with it. And I know that one day I may not have enough money later. Who knows what thefuture will bring.

If anything criticise movie stars for living such lavish life styles and doing almost nothing. =(