Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

Really, I believe in relative efficiency ... I don't think anything should be wasted, so I try my hardest not to let food or old clothes or anything go to waste. If it can be recycled, or can still be used, or is still good, I see no reason in just tossing it straight into the garbage. If I have old clothes that I don't have any plans to recycle, or old toys that can't be given to my cousins, I sell and donate it off.

But really, as I see it, yes, it's a shame that there are people starving and dying in the world but ... Frankly, that happens everyday, that is life and nature as we know it at work. And it will probably sound awful of me, but, unless they're directly involved in my life, I simply cannot find the energy to care about someone in some foreign country smothered by violence and what have you. The stresses of worrying about every single person on this earth is WAY, WAY too much. I stress enough with my schoolwork, with my art, with my family, with my friends, my future plans to take care of myself and my family, etc. I really cannot take on the thoughts of other people who will never affect my life and worry about their wellbeing when I as a person have my own to worry about. I simply can't.

I really cannot stand people who try to press on others that you MUST dedicate your life to better other people's lives. If it's something in your heart that you WANT to do, not out of guilt, then do it! But for us who have our own lives that we're preoccupied with and cannot handle that excess stress, then we shouldn't be guilted into something like that. It isn't fair that nature birthed people into places that aren't luxurious or well-off, but it also isn't fair to guilttrip anyone into doing something that they don't want to do or aren't happy doing.

And in my opinion, it's my money, I earned it, and I'm doing what I very well please with it. Not only am I getting something that I will personally enjoy for a very very long time, but in the process I'm supporting a fellow artist. That's what matters to me. People should treat themselves to something nice, something they enjoy every so often. It's healthy and I enjoy knowing I will be contributing to the success of another artist.

 

There used to be a time, when I felt guilty about many things in regards to social consciousness. But as I've gotten older, I've realized that you do what you can within your means without feeling like you've cheated yourself. This is not to say that I'm any less thoughtful about what's going on, but I've decided that a little healthy selfishness will not kill me or magnify any worldly problems. I donate to causes that mean something to me (and I know are legit), I never default on family when they need my help and I don't cut back on necessities.

Unfortunately, many of my hobbies and interests seem to come with a hefty price tag and I've just resigned myself to this fact. If I was wracked with guilt over purchases that aren't exactly necessary, I would've driven myself batty looooong ago. Besides, I work hard for my money - so if I decide to indulge every now and then, no problem.

However, like several have mentioned - I don't approve of bandwagon spending. Buying things to feel like you belong, or because you think it'll make you cool, or because you feel that somehow said object makes you better than someone else. That's a huge irritation of mine and I agree that's money that could definitely be put to better use.

I would never put a pricey collector's item or awesome sound system over, say, buying medication for my niece or helping out a close friend who is financially strapped. Otherwise, I'm happy to be a little selfish.

 

Wow. One of the most eloquent posts I have seen on DOA. wow.

 

I had a big issue with this when I was debating whether or not to purchase my first doll earlier this month.

I feel bad about spending money on MYSELF, mainly, and things I don't need... but I mean, we all spend here and there, and it all adds up, so why not treat myself to something big and expensive for once, instead of a ton of useless stuff I forget about?

I work and go to college, so on that alone I couldn't really afford a doll and didnteven think about realistically getting one this soon. But, recently, I picked up a freelance job that gave me alot of extra money I wouldn't've had otherwise -- so I saw it as an opportunity to buy a doll, espiecially since I don't have rent or medical bills to pay yet. So I justified it by saying, had the price of this commission been a doll and money, I would've taken it (as apposed to just money). So thats what I used some of the money on. I don't feel THAt bad I didn't like, donate the money to charity, because I have donated in the past and I have worked in projects that have given thousands to charity. Even though I'm treating myself to this, I still try and be a good person by giving what I can when I can.

It sounds dumb I have to justify it to MYSELF -- i dont care what others think of it, but its just an issue I do have with myself and spending. Even if it was a ring for $40 I would still have issues with it. I'm just weird like that. My moms a spendthrift and my dads a pennypincher, I got caught somehow inbetween.

But if it ever comes down to me having to sell the doll for some reason, I probably would. It's just material, I can afford to loose it to certain circumstances.

 

There are times when I feel bad about it. But it would only be when my father or mother would push the fact that the times now are not easy, especially when the world economy is plunging fast, and then there's the issue of the petrol price going higher, and then the bills increasing in price as well. When I think about all of these, I get depressed and wonder what I can do. I can't actually take a part-time job. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't think I have the time to actually do so. My life had been revolving around my school work and also to my duty as being the eldest child. I have to drive to send my sisters off to school, and after school, pick them back from school. Also, when I return home, I have my own duties to do. Also, the workload from my academy is very heavy and is continuous flowing. So when it comes to financial, I depend on my parents to do so. Also, even when I want to get a part-time job, my parents wouldn't allow me to.. I know, funny, isn't it?

But anyways, if I keep getting depressed and guilty about it, it would not help with anything. Yes, I'm painfully aware of the situation at hand. And so, it makes me more wise and more careful of my spending. Though at times when I look at the marketplace and saw clothes that I would love to have to put on my doll and all. I don't have my doll yet but I am sure when he arrives, I would not regret buying him one single bit. The money I had paid for him, it is my own money. In truth, the money I have now, I have been collecting ever since I was young during all those Chinese New Years, and I haven't touch that money ever since until now. So, whenever my parents bug me about my doll, I'll just plainfully say, "It's my money." Simple as that.

 

I guess one way you could offset any guilt would be to donate to a charity every time you buy a doll. I think if I ever buy a doll, I might do that, just so I know that even though I'm spending money on something for me, I'm also giving back to others. It's not a perfect justification, but it might work? Plus it'd get you involved in charity, so that's always good.

 

I tend to think, I work for my money in a job I hate, so why shouldn't I spend it on something that makes me happy? I don't think I'm wasteful in buying clothes, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, I don't go out much and I try to do my bit for charities and the enviroment.
My guilt trips come from the fact that I lie to my family over what I spent - they would be shocked at the price of my dolls and just wouldn't understand. I pay for my share of the household expenses and mortgage and don't go into debt for my dolls, so it shouldn't be any of their business, but I still feel bad!

 

Unless I unwittingly contribute to a terrorist organization or someone who'll take food from a child if I buy a doll, I don't quite feel guilty on that level.

What I do feel guilty about sometimes is buying a doll instead of putting it aside in case something happens. That's what I try to work on. If I save for the doll and work on my craftsmanship and sewing and whatnot, it makes the decision a lot easier to make since I will be improving skills plus saving money. Or so I tell myself.

 

Sometimes I feel guilt, but not because I have the luxury of buying a doll that others do not wish to, or cannot, afford. There is the fact that we are supporting the work of private companies and artists, and as an artist, I support this wholeheartedly. The guilt that I sometimes feel is that, in the midst of a gift transfer of funds for college from my parents, in addition to what little that I made working as a tutor last semester, my funds spiked high enough that I bought a doll using both my money and the money they gave me. Now, I am not so irresponsible as to have shorted myself in college. I made sure those expenses were paid for first, and budgeted accordingly. But my family is in the middle of spending a massive amount of money moving to another state, and the gas prices pinch our budget as it is.

Still, I am justifying my purchase, and as more than one eloquent member of this forum has pointed out, there's no need to justify oneself. If you feel bad about the doll, don't buy it. I chose to, during the circumstances, and when I start working, I intend to pay my parents back. In the meantime, I simply will be more frugal this next semester with my at-school luxuries (like frappachinos). I feel bad now, but I won't once I'm working a steadier job, and able to support myself better. I already own almost two thousand dollars' worth of collector's flutes from around the world (family of musicians). How is buying a ball jointed doll that different? If I absolutely had to, I would sell my dolls, and my flutes too.

In the meantime, enjoy life. That's more or less my contemplations on the subject

 

I agree with bipolaroid pretty much 100%. I feel guilt over a lot of things, in fact, it's one of my dominating feelings. But I've gotten to the point where I've realized feeling guilty over something you yourself cannot fix isn't worth it. What's the point in being guilty if all it does it make me feel sick? You can't help others if you can't help yourself. I do sometimes get bitter over the fact that I spent $900 on a doll when my parents are spending $50 every time they go to fill up the car. That I spent $900 on a doll when I could have donated the money to charity.
And I have issues buying nice things for myself. =/ I spend around $200-300 around Christmas on others and don't even bat an eyelash, but as soon as I buy something for myself I get all "I SHOULD HAVE SAVED IT!!!" There's also the pressure of saving for college, especially because I'm the youngest. I know my parents will do what they can to pay for my education, but I want to do what I can to help them. It's my schooling after all, not theirs.

Really, I just have to watch my spending. No point in making myself sick over something that's supposed to be fun, right?

 

I have to admit - I'm trying to save for an expensive trip for next year, and I was well advancing in it when I found my doll rather cheap online. I had to fight with myself: trip I've dreamt of for years, or a doll I've wanted for almost the same amount of years? I do feel guilty at times...



...but mostly because I also purchased a macBook a month later. =_=

 

I had my first doll related guilt trip ever! Whoo hoo! lol I'm waiting for my boy to ship and I haven't told anyone I'm having another doll. My mum saw a puppy today she really liked and I asked her if she wanted me to get it for her, I felt a little guilty, there I was buying myself a treat and when does my mum ever get one? I did feel bad-we talked all day and she decided it's not the right time to get one. I'm off the hook

 

People always give guilt trips I've noticed.
Half of my family is very religious and they're always giving me guilt trips about the stupidest things.
People should be able to do whatever they want with their money and not have to worry about guilt trips.
I never feel guilty when I buy something kind of strange. I bought inflatable toast once just for grins and my family told me it was a stupid waste of money, but I thought it was awsome!
So I wouldn't worry about what other people think. ^^

 

I think I agree with bits and pieces of what everyone has said. But to me, you shouldnt have to justify buying something you love. Yes, I understand the guilt that comes with buying expensive, unnecessary things. I feel it even when I buy small things. I know I should be saving money in case theres ever an emergency, or for college, or other things to make the money load on my parents lighter but...to me..life is short. You go through life working hard just to be even moderately happy..why not spend the money you have on something that makes you happy? Even if its just a small thing that makes you smile, to a larger item like a BJD, do it if it makes you happy, because everyone deserves to treat themselves to something.

 

I usually don't feel guilty when i buy something within my usual spending budget, but given the huge amount that i spent on my boy, i thinks its only natural that i feel really guilty about it.

I mean, mainly because i'm still a student, and i'm spending my parents' money, and A LOT of it, it just makes me feel really guilty. Plus, i had to reserve him with the seller, and put a deposit on him, and eventually pay off my debts. my parents really tore into me for that. "Spending money that you don't have."

So... guilty. But i'd still spend the money for Sei-chan's company. He's such an angel.

 

I would like to make myself feel better by saying that I save an incredible amount of money in my other hobbies because I refuse to buy anime, books, music, or other forms of media entertainment because the Internet and the Library are the two greatest places (term used loosely). However, I guess I could do better. I spent months thinking about whether or not I should begin this hobby because it could get somewhat ridiculous. I cannot let myself feel guilty over this though because that would take all of the fun out of it.

I believe that while I may indulge somewhat, I am also doing my best to help those individuals less fortunate than myself. Although I did not donate the cost of my dolls, I do try to donate frequently and am very willing to volunteer my time. My family had been on welfare for a few years, and I do realize that I could easily survive off of far less than with what I am living now; however, I sort of hope that despite my expensive hobby, my means of saving in other ways, the donations and volunteering, and the fact that I am willing to think about what my expenses actually mean have some weight in this entire issue of guilt.

Although I can see why a person would feel guilty about luxury items and high spending, it is better to help if you are able than not at all, I guess. Ah well, I don't know. Just my thoughts.

 

Yeah I've been there. When I know people who are struggling or see people who have very little money to spend and i'm here dropping hundreds on a doll that stands less than 50cm. But we live in a stressful society always working to buy things to help us with our stress of this day and age. Some people collect cars, buy clothes, bags, electronics which also go for what we are spending and more. It's what we can afford I guess. People who are insanely rich can afford buying more houses, cars, clothes, etc. People who are middle class like most of us have to manage our money but can afford luxury items. Even people who are really poor can buy luxury items, of course it's not going to be like a car or a bjd or a Prada purse but it could be small like a toy, or something good to eat. Whatever luxury items we buy it all depends on what we make. That's just my opinion~
I really hope that made sense. -_-

 

I don't feel quilty. Actually, I was feeling bad before I've paid for my first doll, because I was spending too much money on some crap (like sweets, cosmetics, etc.) instead of buying a doll I wanted for about two years. I don't give money to charity, I don't care about people starving in Africa. I just don't like, no do I care, about people in general. Sorry.

 

I don't feel guilty. It it wasn't spent on dolls, it would be spent on tattoos and/or piercings. It's a compromise, it makes my family happy that I'm not spending the money adding more holes and patterns on my body. This is my creative outlet, I sew, paint faceups, take pictures, write fiction with the dolls as my point of inspiration. It makes me happy, it keeps me occupied with things to do. Why should anyone feel guilty unless it's directly hurting someone? Buying these dolls and the things that go with them directly supports the people who make them.
I can't see how it's wrong to spend your money on things that make you happy, unless you are putting someone else at a disadvantage because of it - ie not being able to pay the bills and having the electricity cut, not being able to feed your own kids, etc.
Just because you could possibly give the money to charity if you wanted, doesn't necessarily mean you would if you weren't in the doll hobby, it probably would have been spent on something else. At least that's how I understand it. Unless you're one of those people who regularly gives money to charity and you start cutting short your regular givings to charity...

 

This is very much true. I wonder if there are people who have done this... or tapped into school savings, some special saving, etc. to feed into this hobby. I think that is when a little guilt may be helpful since the money is supposed to be going somewhere else. Yep! Agree.