Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

I don't feel guilty. I work for my money. The doll makers are trying to make a living as well. They deserve to get paid for their great work. If I didn't spend on them, I would spend it on something else. It's just how the economy works. It's our lifestyles. Don't get me wrong. I do my share of charity, but I also am a student and deserve a bit of happiness for my hard work.

 

Okay, I just felt the tug of guilt. I have a new one on the way and I MUST return to studio tomorrow so I can create and sell one of my own dolls to compensate.

LOL! That way, I can tell my husband that I needed the second doll for inspiration to get my sculpting muse up and running again.

 

The way I see it is that if you have the money for luxury spending, you should not feel guilty about it. It's your money, you worked hard and earned it, it is yours to do with what you will! As long as you aren't sacrificing anything (food, bills, etc) then there should be no guilt.

On the flip side, having something just for the sake of having something should make you feel guilty. That's like buying nothing but designer label clothing just on the basic premise that it is a designer label and everyone is wearing it meaning you automatically have to have it. That's wrong. if you want a designer label item of clothing, it should be beause you like the style or quality or something like that, not just because everyone else has it. Same applies to dolls. You shouldn't get dolls just because. You should get dolls because you have a passion for them and you love them. There is no reason to feel guilty for buying dolls as long as you are buying them for the right reasons and you don't do so at the cost of your lifestyle (so don't make yourself go broke for a doll).

 

i understand your feelings, but you shoud not feel guilty about buying a bjd ore what ever, you can not change the world.
it is your money and you have the right too spend it however you want.

 

I'm a contradicting person. So I actually have 2 views...maybe because I'm a Gemini...?

This is what I feel of more than the other feeling.

To me, there are no guilt trips for spending on dolls. Sure I feel guilty for using the money to buy a doll instead of giving my parents some of my work money but -coughs- I don't always do that. Only when I want to buy a doll or some expensive doll items.

To me, I totally don't feel guilty for buying a doll as in a way, I'm helping the sculptors, tailors and item makers earn a bit more money. I don't think they do this full-time, so it's just a side line for them to earn extra cash. Most people will only want to earn extra cash because they don't earn enough from their main jobs or something. So in a way we're helping them with money issues.

The other small guilt trip I have is when I have cash in my wallet. But that cash is being saved to buy a doll or items for a doll. I see someone asking for donation or charity work, but I can't touch that money at all. That is when I feel guilty because there are people needing help, and yet here I am getting something which is not a need but a want.



My personal feeling is that we can't please the world. And life is so short. So might as well live to the fullest and enjoy ourselves. As long as we don't regret it in the end.

 

I do feel guilty because sometimes i think with that money, i can do so many things. When im donating, the most is only $20 but i would spent hundreds on my dolls. Yes massive guilty, since it's also the money parents gave me (birthday, christmas, chinese new year, randomly...etc..) not the money im actually working and earn (my mom won't let me go out and work at this age [16]) so very very guilty........but somehow my dolls wishlist never stop growing......and my mind always go against me.

 

I don't feel guilty about the charity thing, because I volunteer as well as donate money to causes I find worthy, but I do worry that the money I will someday spend on a BJD could go to more important things.

I'm a undergraduate student intending to go to graduate school, so I could use the money to pay off my student loans or just save it and let it grow, but instead I really want to buy a doll. *shrug* I guess we'll see if that conflict of emotions overrides my desire to buy one...

 

This is such an interesting topic! I think that feelings of guilt can be pretty high when it comes to any expensive item. I think that a lot of it may come from people's background. I know personally everyone in my family stresses and feels awful about money, until Christmas when we all overspend. So there is this weird split where you can buy somethign expensive, but expect to feel stressed about it later.

I'm saving up for my first girl right now, and even though I have graduation money to spend on her, I feel like I can't have her until I "deserve" her by paying with money I've earned. Hopefully I won't feel guilty when she gets here.

But money always comes and goes. Arn't feelings and experiences more important? (how cheesy is that). Dolls make us happy, be it a distraction or inspiration. I don't think it's selfish to spend a lot on something that makes you feel that way, so guilt shouldn't be an issue. (But it's easy to say and can be harder to feel.)

 

Honestly.. I donate quite a bit of money to charities... and grew up in poverty as a child so I understand the hardships associated. However, that I spent a large amount of money on my doll(s) doesn't really bother me. Well... not in the sense of feeling bad for others. I think frivolous spending is annoying on a whole (mainly when I look at how many pairs of high heals some of my co-workers have...) but I don't find dolls to be a frivolous expenditure. I equate them more to an investment.

 

No guilt can be found here. There are many problems in the world yes, but I don't think that each person on this planet should be made to feel guilty about all the world's problems. I scrimp and save for my dolls, once saved enough to actually buy me three small ones at once because I didn't go on impulse edibles purchases at work.

Charities? I do voluntary work right now as I've lost my job. Obviously I don't get any money for that, and the social security/dole money is really awful. However, I pay my parts of the bills and food, I thankfully have a bus pass to get me to the place I volunteer at, so I do save what remains to pay for my course and for any luxuries like dolls. I do not have enough money to give away. Most charity shops do go through their donations and volunteers there do snag things to privately sell on ebay. I've seen a christian charity who will not give food to any non-christian in africa. In fact, there is only one charity that I would rightfully support but I do not have any money to.

Dolls are things I have saved for and am still saving for. After a hard day/week/months work, is it really so 'offensive' as it were (I really cannot think of a better word) for people to spend the money that they have worked for on themselves?

 

I don't feel that guilty, because I don't get dolls that often. I'm on disability, and my husband teaches. We're not exactly well off, and I have to save a lot, or sell things to afford things I want. I have to really work for it, because we still have things like clothes and food and stuff to buy.

I do think the people who are living off the system and do nothing but buy luxury items and ignore their important bills and family members, should feel guilty.

 

Hmm... Guilty? Yeah, I do feel guilty, but not because I think the money could make the world a better place. Time and time again, it has been proven that throwing money at something DOES NOT make it better, at least in many cases... For example, the money poured into the Baltimore schooling system is astronomical, and there has not been a significant change in quality, as measured by grades and graduation rates (this is the last I have heard on the radio... I hope I'm not behind and totally wrong at this point!).

I'm not saying that money cannot help good causes, because it certainly can in the right hands. But it's really hard to find those hands! Speaking of hands, I think it's better to personally get hands-on when improving the world, such as volunteering! If you find something you love, it will make you happy too!

But my feelings of spending guilt are more selfish than taking it as a world outlook. I worry that, as a young student, I should be saving it to pay off loans when I graduate. But, I work really hard to get great grades during the year and work full time over the summer, so if I buy a doll, I deserve it! Maybe it's selfish, and maybe I'm selfish... But I don't really think so. As people have said, everyone has money that they throw at stuff. A new TV when their old one worked fine, a new computer when their old one worked fine, designer clothes, daily Starbucks... Does it really matter what? As long as you don't spend beyond your means, and you have a cash stash for a rainy time in your life, you're good!

 

I don't feel guilty. I earned my money. You earned your money. If you want to spend it on a sponsor child, that's your choice. If I want to donate my money to a children's hospital, or spend it on dolls and comic books, that's my choice.


Keep in mind that many people even in North America live from paycheck to paycheck, and they scrounge and save to be able to afford even the most basic "luxury" items, on top of the items needed for survival. They make people happy, and the right to pursue happiness is one of our most basic rights.

The thing that makes me angry, is that our government keeps us, and those foreign third world countries in economic slavery.
And also, big businesses get a BIGGER tax right off for THROWING AWAY unsold items rather than donating them to charity.
(The store I work for throws hundreds of dollars in crafting supplies away because they went out of style!? Why not donate them to a community group?)
Just think about how much food at your local grocery store gets thrown out and wasted, because nobody needed to buy it...

Anyways, I think there are much bigger problems out there, apposed to what us random joes decide to spend our extra money on.

And you could always sponsor a second child if you don't think $30 helps all that much... But that's your choice.

 

THIS! Totally this!

I mentioned in my post that I'm on disability. And I only get so much a month that went down because of my husbands income, that went down again because the state decided to stop paying for my insurance and now I have to pay for it.
If I want to get a job to help supplement our income, I lose my disability and insurance and the ability to get my medications which I need to function to be able to work. I am in a horrible catch-22. I'm not stable enough to really go to school yet, but even if i wanted to work a few hours a week, I can't because they'll take my benefits away.

 

I have always bad conscience too. I don't have any BJD's yet, but collecting other expensive types of dolls plus now having an interest in having a family of BJD's is certainly a bad sign. I either feel bad because I have just bought a doll, because I cannot buy a doll or because I have to scrable to find the money to get my layaways released early. It does get habitual though as I've had it this ways for years now
Anne

 

I feel a hefty chunk of guilt over a luxury item in this time and economy, but I assuage it by saving up more money using what saving skills I've learned with my hobbies, and donating the money to a favorite charity.

OOH OOH IDEA! TAKING DOLLS TO VISIT A CHILDREN'S WARD IN A HOSPITAL!

Contact your local hospital and ask if you, maybe with one or two other friends, might be allowed to come and show your dolls to the children and maybe tell them your stories about the dolls. You could choose whether to let the older children gently hold the dolls, and put a little brightness into the kids' boring, uncomfortable stay in a hospital.
Very few children seem to be afraid of dolls- that seems to be a grownup thing.
I plan to try this once I get my dolls and a few friends to do it with. Give back to your community with your dollies!

 

Wow that's...wrong...You now have to pay for your insurance so they CUT your benefits?

Ouch.

 

I feel bad about the money I've spent all the time, at the same time that's why my first doll was a mini instead of one of the SDs I want. Aside from when I myself sit and thing about how I could have done something so much more eventful with that $500 my family won't let it go, and neither will my friends.

My mother, though she seemed excited for me at first has done a complete turn around and now all I ever hear about it the money I've wasted on a doll I don't need and shouldn't want because I'm 16 >.>;

But ironically my brother is a bit more understanding, he still reminds me of the price tag, because he always wonders if I'm joking about the price, but since he's a gamer with virtually every system out there he can't judge very much.

Yet with the economy crashing ...I can't help but think I picked up this hobby at entirely the wrong time.

 

Honestly, I have very conflicting feelings about money and charities. On the one hand, I do believe it is one's duty to help the less fortunate whenever one has the opportunity to do so. Not because of any religious reason, but simply because a natural feeling of empathy and sympathy should spur you to do so.

However, I also believe that organized charities waste a great deal of the money they are given. Time and time again I hear about charities that spend most of their donations on running the charity, and give away a relatively small percentage of their cash (like 20% or so, which is laughable).

I don't feel guilty for spending my little extra money on dolls- they are part of what makes my highly stressful life a little bit better. When I graduate from school and get a proper job I plan on finding a charity I feel comfortable with and donating. For now, I'm just trying to get through law school with my sanity intact. If my dolls are helping me do that, then I don't feel guilty for having them.

 

I don't feel guilty at all with my spending. I know there are terrible things going on in the world but I'd really rather concentrate on what's going on in with my life and my family. I don't think that sounds selfish, I think it's rational. 'Charity begins at home' as they say. That's not to say I haven't given money to an animal shelter while I have been involved in this hobby. Now I have my own dog my money goes on him. I think it's possible to do a bit of everything.
I understand what you're saying completely. I also understand why people were offended. I have a very open mind.
So for me no, I don't feel guilt, I don't want to martyr myself by giving all my money away and becoming a nun and working as a missionary. I think it's a shame you feel bad spending money on yourself. You could always give your dolls to a charity if they make you feel so bad. Win, Win! I'm full of helpful suggestions.