Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

It's funny that I should spot this thread for the first time today because I've had a similar conversation about guilt this morning with some dolly friends.

I have incredible feelings of guilt when I spend money on dolls and yet the money is my own, I work very hard sewing my commissions in order to buy the dolls I have and really don't need to feel guilty at all. And yet I do! I put it down to my upbringing and yet even that is ridiculous because my mum has always spent her money on just what she wants, which is great, after all you can't take it with you! And my husband has never once complained about me spending my own money....he actually says "well its your money"... But I still can't get rid of that guilty feeling when I order a new doll!!!

Crazy!!

 

I often feel guilty spending amounts like $100 on a new doll,
but in the end, the love I have for my girls (at the moment only Pullips and dals)
is worth every penny

 

This was said earlier and I think it bears repeating. Both. Both is good.

Do some good in this world, but don't be afraid to do some of what also keeps you sane and lively.
Balance.

 

I've had a few guilt trips over spending money on dolls and I haven't even bought any yet. I keep saying, "I want this doll!" And then other people keep saying, "Whoa, that's so much money... and for a doll?" And all of a sudden, I feel this intense guilt for wanting something that costs that much. Especially when the economy's gone to hell the way it has, and I'm going off to college, and I'm... well, financially better off than a lot of my friends, which I'm a little ashamed of.

 

I've been thinking about this for awhile now. For the longest time I held off getting into the doll hobby and now that I'm saving for my first doll, I sometimes sit and think about "other" things I can do with my doll money.

But the truth of the matter is, I'm going to eventually spend it on something else. I know I am. Of the money I earn, some gets saved, and a lot of the rest goes to things like gas, food, college textbooks, car repairs, etc. I'm blessed in the fact that as a college student, I still live at home and don't have to worry about rent, or utility bills, or even my own cell phone bill since I'm on my family's plan. My only financial responsibility is the maintenance of my car, and buying my textbooks, which on my meager salary, is responsibility enough.

And still, when I had money left over, I would go and buy myself a cute top, or a nice meal, or even a new perfume. Because it's nice to spend the money you work hard for on yourself. So, I see it as saving the money I can in order to buy something that I know that I'll enjoy for a long time. It's simply choosing one indulgence over another. I have enough clothes anyway.

Do I feel guilty thinking about the money that I'm spending in relation to the poor and homeless? Not really. I realize and understand that sometimes, a lot people end up in that situation through no fault of their own, especially in current times, but as someone earlier in the thread mentioned, throwing money at the problem isn't going to solve anything.

The sad truth of the matter is that most people don't really think too much about these things unless it affects them personally. I'm not accusing anyone by any means, considering that I'm guilty of it myself. Do I try to help when I can? Yes. But like a lot of other people, I prefer to be hands-on about it. Volunteering my time rather than my money. I think that it makes more difference anyways. Money can easily be spent on things other than whatever cause. In the end, how do you know that your money is really going to what you donate it to? Maybe it's a bit cynical of me, but unfortunately, with everything you hear in the news nowadays, it's hard not to be.

 

I also feel guilty about spending so much on a doll, especially because it's coming from my mom's wallet. I don't exactly have all the money in the world, and yet I still spend on something as expensive as a doll. Though, I think it is worth it, as long as I don't spend TOO much. This hobby is really quite satisfying, especially since I have an obsession for cute things. I think that everyone has their own thing when it comes to spending massive amounts of money (some people like shopping for designer bags, clothes, cars, etc.), and mine just happens to be collecting dolls and video games..

 

I havent even bought my first bjd yet, but every time I go to click the 'add to basket' button, I feel extremely guilty (whether I'm looking at a $150 doll, or a much more expensive $800+ doll). It seems like an awful lot of money for a beautiful 'toy' compaired, as you said, to how little it costs to sponser a child, or to donate to so many wonderful charities from various countries and illnesses.

I think it's just a case of balance; purhapse saving for the doll you particularly want, reminding yourself that you've earnt it and will enjoy it, then saving to make a donation to the charity of your choice-not neccisarily a very high amount, but as you said, $30 can go such a long way for the right charity.

 

I always feel guilty when I buy anything, it's just how I am. But I save up really hard to buy the things I want, so I guess that's okay...

Although, I do a lot of volentary work.

 

I've just calculated how much I spend on charity annually and it's enough to buy an MSD sized doll and clothe it. So each year for the past 5 years or so instead of buying an MSD sized doll, I gave that money to charity. So no, I don't feel guilty for the 18 dolls I've collected in two and a half years.

Sure, it is a small fortune I've spent on this hobby and I could have done so many other things with that money. I could have spent all that money on charity, but I wouldn't expect the same, if things were the other way around. If I end up in a hard place, I expect people to give me a little bit and not everything they have.

If you feel guilty about spending so much money on yourself, you could take up charity work, because as ShadowsNight says: throwing money at a problem doesn’t always solve it. You could volunteer at dozens of different programs that help out all sorts of people and you can make those people feel like they are important too. There’s no money in the world that can make them feel they matter too. Only a person can.

 

I was afraid I was going to get a major guilt trip from my mom about buying a doll, but amazingly I haven't. My fiance thinks its a waste of money and doesn't understand it, but he supports me and is behind me 100%.

 

I know I'll get ridden out of town on a rail for saying this but: I don't see ANY reason on Earth to give my hard earned money to support someone else's child. I didn't have that kid so don't expect me to pay for it. I'll support my own child.

That said Nope, I feel absolutely no remorse or guilt over spending my money on my dolls. I've worked hard for that money, suffered humilation and shitty treatment from my boss in the last year and I plan to spend EVERY spare penny of it on me.

Frankly I find it a better use of money than DVDs, guns, music CDs or what other crap Wal mart thinks I just HAVE to have!

 

Hehehe... giggling at toshirodragon.

Well I'd be lying if I said I don't feel guilt. And why? because my house doesn't look like something you'd see on HGTV. Stupid, much?

Nope, I grew up in the early 60's where moms stayed home and kept things spotless and made dinner. So every time I spend a cent on myself I see a wall that could have been painted, yadda yadda. Or a piece of furniture that doesn't match.

What's dumb is that I'm the ONLY ONE in this household who worries about it. After all, before I spend MY money on ME I'm paying the mortgage, the utilities, the misc. school bills, buying clothes for the girls, taking care of the cats, and the fish, and doing a goodly share of the housework (thankfully shared pretty equally with the Spouzal Unit (tm) ). And oh yes, working full-time to do so. And giving to charity. And supporting public radio. Yadda yadda. AND if I spent that money on the house it'd be wasted anyway, since we do have two kids and two cats with sharp feets (the cats, that is).

So why do I feel guilty when I buy more resin stuffs? Who knows. Won't stop me from doing so, though. Either spending the money OR feeling guilty about it.

 

I felt exactly the same way, I could never quite click the purchase button, I felt guilty for contemplating spending so much money on something only for myself when there are so many more worthwhile causes out there. But then I saw a picture of a doll for sale that I just fell in love with and I barely hesitated before buying. I was nervous right afterward but once she arrived I was thrilled. She makes me happy, I can spend creative time sewing for her, and that helps me to de-stress after work.

So I agree there can be a balance, buying a doll or two isn't going to change how much I donate to charities. I still think I will feel some guilt but I think my perspective has changed a little. I may feel some guilt at the price, but not over how much pleasure the doll itself brings me.

 

I personaly agree with what toshirodragon said.
I really dislike children...so I wont spend my money on a child of someone else >.<
But, i'm not heartless, I do give to charity, when they come at my door, but only those wich I find important...

I feel no guilt for buying dolls or doll stuff, its my money and I saved up hard for buying expensive stuff....it actually makes me proud knowing that I bought it with my saved up money
Plus I really think well before buying something expensive, I only buy it when I reeeeaaally want it, this way ( for me) it wont be a waste of money.

But I do find it silly and a waste of money when I see those people who only want expensive brand clothing....but thats just me

These kind of topics are so interesting too read! ^.^

 

I have never bought many things for myself before. Up until recently, I never bought anything for myself that wasn't over $30. People buy unnesscessary things every mintue of their life.

If you really want to narrow it down, do you need a sofa, or a car, TV, Computer? Any of these things we can live without, no matter how advance or inadcance they are.

Things that people perceieve today as a need are really not need but wants of comfort. Buying an expensive doll makes you no less important or any more worse then the person down the rode who spends thousands and thousands of dollars on his new car when the older one was perfectly fine.

 

OH I need this thread.
I know before I said not really...no actually I said not at all...but I just spent $1800 in the pat 4 days.
I can afford it so it's not like that, BUT I am usually really tight with my money so it was kind of shocking for me to do so.
I will say I got an AMAZING freaking doll out of it (Soom Sard) MWAHHH
Then I had to get clothes and a wig for him.
Then there were some 70cm clothes I had to get because dressing two 70cm boys is difficult and you have to jump on the clothes when they come into the marketplace.
Okay I feel better...I purged.​

 

I do occassionally, but not on the global scale. I think..wow, we could have gotten extra groceries or I could have gotten just a little more school clothes, etc. That being said, as a single mom, I spend almost all of my money on our household and my daughter. So when I do splurge I can usually struggle through the moment of guilt. It's not often and I work hard for us, so I can live with it LOL. All my impulse buys are anything but impulse, I am saving , and not very much, for my dollies. When it's time I'll buy them unapologetically because I know it was a long, slow road to get there. I DO feel that if you never give yourself a little something you will lose yourself and just be one of those people who gets up, goes to work, pays the bills, and repeats it all tomorrow. A little splurge to save my indivduality and sanity is o.k. with me

 

Yes, I sometimes feel guilty about spending so much money on dolls, not because of charitable contributions beause I give what I can to those. But I'll think nothing of blowing $100 on a doll dress while I balk at spending more than $20 for a pair of jeans for me. And I mostly live in sweats & t-shirts that I buy for about $5-$6 on sale at Kmart or Walmart.

Even when I need some decent clothes I shop the clearance racks especially when they're 50% off the already marked down prices. If I were smaller & not allergic to synthetic fabrics, I'd probably do all my personal shopping at Goodwill. As it is I pick up my handbags & accessories at second-hand stores or flea markets.

There's just a weird mindset when it comes to dolls. "Oh, it's only $800, what a steal!" When the same amount of money seems like a fortune when dealing with day to day things.

 

well..yah. that's all there is to it.
"It's a doll, but you just went and blew over 100 on it. not to mention its clothing. does a doll even need clothes? it's not some super expensive like diamond doll. it's just a sub-category of plastic. DID YOU JUST SPEND OVER 100 ON A FRICKEN DOLL?? DO YOU NOT THINK ABOUT WHAT COULD HAPPEN?? YOU'D HATE IT. BUT YOU CAN'T SELL IT CAUSE NO ONE ELSE IS STUPID ENOUGH TO BUY IT. YOU'RE STUCK WITH THIS FOREVER. AND EVER."

....
yah those are actual thoughts running through this darned head of mine. pretty guilty, I'd say. lol
ohh, and wait for the trains of thought when my family talks negatively. My friends are cool.
("oh you like barbies? wow didn't know you were so childish. whao that's so expensive! are you gonna be one of those collectors? whaoo you've gotta let me see it" kind of thing. nothing too much)