Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

Why regret owning a dollfie? Even if they are being selfish, it doesn't reflect on you as a person. :3

 

Aw, thanks so much.

 

Actually, no, I don't feel guilty. I'm not rich, not even close... and I work hard to scrape up what little doll money I get. Not to mention, I've already been on the other side of the fence. I've been in a household where we had very little... of anything. No TV, no internet, a super old computer with no working keyboard, limited food... So now I can of feel like I've earned what I have with hard work and striking out on my own. Not to mention that because I buy dolls doesn't make me a horrible person or a miser. One of my favorite traditions from my childhood that I have finally been able to afford again has been to give to the Angel Tree every Holiday Season. It's not like I don't give or help anyone just because I'm saving for a doll. I'm still me.

So no, I don't feel guilty.

 

I'm glad I found this thread, I was going to post one if there wasn't one already. I'm having to struggle with myself to spend that much money on a doll. I mean, I could sponsor a child in a developing country for a year or two.....

I also worry about the wages and working conditions of the people making these dolls. Does anyone here know anything? Maybe I think about things too much! :{

 

I've no qualms about me or anyone spending a good deal of money on something expensive, especially if it's a quality item (including designer clothing, as mention in the first post).

When an item that is expensive is made, especially if it's hand-made and takes a good bit of skill, the person who made it generally makes a decent wage. Not like, what a doctor would make, but certainly not what sweatshop workers make.

By purchasing items like this, you are supporting jobs that treat their workers better.

Unfortunately, not all of us can afford to spend a lot of money on everything. Believe me, if I could buy designer clothes for what I see as ethical reasons, I would. But, I can't.

Now, you could argue that by giving money to a cause, it's helping. No, I highly disagree with this as well because the time that an individual gives is worth much more than the money that one might give to a charity where 80% of the funds go to the people running it and very little profits go to the actual cause.

There are really a zillion arguments that could fire either way. But, keep in mind that by buying an expensive doll over a cheap doll, you are making at least one ethical action.

 

If you feel iffy about donating money (can't say I blame you), why not donate your time? Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or the Salvation Army. Donate blood to the Red Cross. These tings have a direct, visual impact. Plus there's no money required. Only your time. Seems like a win/win.

I agree with Arichan16. Just because I have dolls doesn't mean I don't help others. I donate stuff (food and clothes) all the time, and I make a point of helping as many charities as I can around the holidays. FWIW these sort of things tend to flex with my job/the economy, not how many dolls I have. When my job is good, I buy and give more stuff. When it's bad I go into ultra cheap "batten down the hatches" mode.

 

interesting thread. i can say: no, i don't feel guity, but long before i bought a doll or even know about them i felt guity spending a lot of money for cd's and books when in the same moment i saw world and people problems. but i learnt something - we can' t blame ourselves for what we have. i'm not a rich person, but i got job, place to live, dollies etc. it's our own choice, you can sell everything you have and give it to others if you feel it will makes you happy. you can have your life and support some actions or organiztions (that's my way) and you can just buy dolls and forget about everything. it's in our insides what we choose. i buy dolls because they made me happy and i love beautiful things. i work hard and maybe sometimes it was not too wise to buy a doll but my money my dolls my hobby. yes, i can understand someone who wrote that hates going on meets when there are just extremely rich owners planning for one more doll. i don't like it too but it's our character and in every hobby or just in life we'll meet selfish people, there's no help for it.
that's just my point of view, we should be happy we can buy such expensive things, and thank for it and try to change the world for better. but i'm terribly naive maybe. and sorry for my english ><'

 

yes, sometimes I feel guilty, too...
but I'm not also so rich that I can purchase some dolls at once or in a row...like every month perhaps?...haha...
Even for less expensive dolls under 250USD or even about 100USD (besides 1/3 dolls, I dream of momoko, too), I save my money each month...and that's not easy because there are some bills to pay and other stuff...

Sometimes, after shopping a lot (whether physical store or internet shopping), I feel so grateful that I can do that while others don't...It encourages me most of time to participate by being a scholarship donatur in local church and when there's a moment like earthquake (as it happened in my town few years ago) or new school year, I also set aside my money to buy some stuff to help others...
It makes me really-really so grateful so that I want to share a "piece" of mine to others whenever I have a chance...
But of course, no "emotional blackmail" behind...
Sometimes, I hate some church people that use God or Lord or Jesus "word" to make people guilty and uncomfortable, so they would donate their money...from my experience, that kind of people is usually b**ls**t and they are thrifty themselves...when I meet that kind of people, I'm always hesitate and refuse to share and don't care whatever they think about me...my money my rules and my feeling is not theirs...I don't have any responsible to them to report how i do my charity, to whom, how I manage my money, etc, etc
I do it because my grateful feeling not because I feel guilty! Gosh, now, i'm emotional (^o^)...
it just reminds me, I met that kind of people long time ago...jeezzzzz (-x-)'

you know what? in terms of money, people who love and buy dolls are not the "worst"...believe me...I've seen some people that are "worse" than that...Like a famous comedian spoiling and throwing food on tv while at other time, this person was an mc for african charity (-.-)' ...and there are more examples if you would notice behaviour around you...
sometimes I think, If i should be feeling guilty and those people are not, should I continue keeping this guilty feeling?...hmmmm...

 

i dont feel guilty at all, i work hard for my money so i spend it on myself. maybe if at some piont in life i have a bigger paycheck i might give some to poorer countries but the moment i dont have much spare cash so i come first.

 

I've never had buyer's guilt over my dolls and yet I did over buying a £30 sewing machine....¬_¬'

I like spending money but then I saved up for my dolls, Tami especially as she is my first and so far only bjd and cost alot more than I'm used to saving up. And yet I did it and she is my reward. Then the fact I've bought less 5 things for her, I can't complain about it!

 

As others have said, no one person can save the entire world. You really can't do all that much for the masses of starving children in Africa. Many countries with these problems can't even be touched by charity, because the government won't allow such donations. That doesn't mean that I don't believe in donating to charitys like these, though. Heck, I donate ten percent of all that I make to the hundreds of charity programs that my church runs, but I do realize that I can only do so much, and that all my energy shouldn't be focused on feeling guilty and sadness for those in positions of hardship. However, I do believe strongly in serving the community. Service projects and donating clothes and food is a wonderful way of giving back. My family has made backpacks full of food and useful items and given them to homeless people before, and there are tons of other ways to help people in need that isn't shoving money to charitys.

I believe that if you work hard for the things you own, why should you feel guilty? If you've been blessed enough to live a life of comfortable living, then you shouldn't be ashamed of it. It only means that you're in a position to do more for the people around you. Serving can make a bigger impact than donating money, sometimes.

So no, I don't feel guilty for planning to spend $500 on a doll, because I do other things that give back to the world that isn't money.

 

I will admit I do at times feel guilty. I feel like there are better things I could do with that money. But my dolls bring me alot of joy, and realistically I would probably just waste it on other things I don't need. I try to be careful, make sure I save money before spending on dolls, but I set aside a certain amount of my spare cash to go towards my dolls. Sometimes when looking at my dolls and their clothes I think "wow how awful to have spent so much on something so frivilous," but I do enjoy them a great deal, and I know if I did desperately need that money I could sell them. It would be sad but it could be done.

 

i feel guilty for about the first week, or until i get paid next, is poor college student xp
but after that it's a lot better.
i imagin i would feel bad longer if i bought more than one at a time
but eh.... i'll get over it ^^"
and so will every one else >.>
(we'll see what happens when i have chiwoo and rona on the way XD)

 

My grandma, who ended up paying most of the cost for my boy, was angry with me after the first payment was sent, and she kept saying she should make me pay the rest, knowing that I would not have my new job by the time the first payment expired, and the $100 would be wasted. She said it could be used for food, for the car or house payments, for gas, for new clothes for Megan (my younger sister, who gets a lot of what she wants). My grandma had originally said no to getting my boy, which I knew would happen, but, knowing my grandma as well, I persisted and explained the reason for the high price tag.

Now, he was actually a good price. He was a whole $372 from Jack on Ebay, I offered to pay for the face-up and any clothes and such beyond the one free outfits, and if I got the job at the gas station (I should start first week of July), I would pay for anything more that he needed, and I wanted nothing else for my birthday.

A lot of my friends gawked at the high price tag, but these last couple of years my birthdya's been hard to shop for--it comes around the time when we're trying to really stretch our budget to get through the summer. So what do I see? I see my sister's birthday in April, and I see she gets a couple outfits from Aeropastle, new sandals, a new volleyball, a new purse, and these other things that she asked for. Two CDs, a DVD, and all this other stuff. And all I'm thinking is that she asked for all of that, and she got it. I asked for this one thing, said I wanted nothing else and would even sacrifice Christmas presents (which won't happen, because my grandma never stands for that). She let me have the gilt trip, but when I started crying, thinking that she was upset with me because I asked for something that she thought was ridiculous and I would outgrow and never have interest in again, she finally stopped. I showed her all of the research I had done. I showed her the hystory, the searches I did, the combing through doll sites, looking for another doll that I wanted. (I didn't find the Bobobie Apollo until later...) And I researched how to care for him, how to do the face-ups, how to remove and reposition the eyes, how to unstring and restring, tips for protecting the body, hands, feet, and face. I looked for so long, and I searched soooo diligently for him, that when I said, "If I order from Jack, he will be this much. If I order from anyone else, I'm looking at around a hundred more," she finally gave in.

I can understand if she thinks I'm jumping on a bandwagon. But I showed her the drawings that I had been doing since 2006, based on the fashions from Dream of Doll, and she saw them, and said, "I remember you showing these to me..." I showed her the loads of more expensive dolls that were smaller. I showed her how much I wanted this one thing. I let her see that, like my art and my writing that she claimed were "phases" and I would "grow out of them", I was not going to grow out of wanting one.

I've paid him off completely now, and I have just enough funds to get the one wig I want and MAYBE an outfit (I want to get one that'll be ready when he gets here, but I can't access the marketplace until around the time he'll arrive...). I just feel like sometimes with my family, since my sister has been born, like I'm the Other Daughter... I feel like my family sees all of my shortcomings and everyone else's successes, and that I'm not capable of making them proud... I worked at a job in a factory for three months. I only whined the first week because I did hurt immensely, but I took some Advil and slept it off. And I wined the last week, because I was sick. Then I was laid off. And I only got one, "You know, we're proud of you for sticking with it..." after about two weeks... I almost started to cry when they said that... I honestly did... I know it's typical of the second child, especially second of five. But that's how I feel... And they just push my loves and hobbies aside... and it makes me feel hurt...

 

I do feel quite guilty about spending large amounts of money on dolls which is why i am saving up money in my paypal account from money earnt from my handmade clothing. getting in debt for luxury items is a totally different matter! If you have the cash then spend it on whatever makes you happy say!

 

I feel like this a lot of the time and I have never spent over 200$ on a doll. In my opinion, it can sometimes feel bad just existing in this lifestyle we live, evern without the extra spending. I mean, wo are we to be feeling happy and living well when there are so many people out there barely making a living in a miserable environment? after a while of feelign horrible about it, I realized that the best thing I could be doing is being grateful for what I have. I will try to remember and understand always how lucky I am to be in this life.

So with that said, I feel that spending money on something that would make me happy would be a good thing. If I want a 350$ doll plus 40$ shipping (and goll-ee, lookit that I do), I can buy it for myself if I really want to, providing I find it to be a worthwhile investment that makes me happy. I'll have to work for it but that's part of the challenge, part of the fun, and what makes us humble to the world. If you know what I mean.

My writing can be viciously unclear...sorry....>.>

 

I wonder too...

 

I do not feel guilty I keep a lot of decent people in good jobs, I keep artists working, I buy from a lot of Moms out there supplimenting their incomes to send the kids to camps or Dr's with their home sewing businesses, probably keep some people from having to work the streets
I only spend cash and never charge anything and unlike beer which goes down the potty I can sell my collection and still get 75% of my money back. Can't sell used magazines even my car will never return 75% of its cost.
I donate time and money to my community I never ever feel guilty for having a job because someone else does not, I own my own business and I employ many people. I work hard, stay away from drugs, gambling, drinking, don't go out carousing or cheating on my DH, bring no harm to others, I am a good solid citizen, I don't live in a big fancy house although I could if I felt like it
I just like dolls, photography and gardening all hobbies that don't require other people to participate or give me grief about doing. I can relax and enjoy quiet time from my busy life and I don't have to pay a psychiatrist to tell me to relax and get a hobby.
No Guilt here.

 

Just a few days ago I bought a laptop for $1200, and I thought, 'goddamn, I could have bought ANY of the dolls on my list with that money!' then I kicked myself and said 'a laptop does more for you than a doll ever would' and bam. Doll Epiphany moment.

Somehow I don't think dolls could ever be compared with buying clothes, cars or cosmetics, because you don't wear a doll, you dont drive a doll and you dont apply a doll to your skin (lol @ what I just said)
they're just too different. Dolls are in the Hobby category, not a social need.
all those 3 mentioned are things people need in order to fit in. be it to look the best for a career job interview or take you on the road trip of your life. I'd argue with myself on the necessity of ANY of those things, but a car, clothes and yes, cosmetics, are a necessity in todays consumer society.
You can't really say 'I buy dolls when people buy fashion clothing' because the difference is just too great. you'll STILL buy clothes, even ones in fashion. dolls cant be compared.
THAT being said. you'll have to argue the necessity of Designer Labels, however.
-If it gets your further in life to where you want to be, it isn't worthless.