Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

Couldn't agree more, what a great little poem.

I don't feel guilty, to reply to the topic- I have the good fortune of being born into relative comfort with the option to save money for my dolls.

 

I have felt guilty in the past about spending upwards of $700 on my doll, mostly since I've never purchased anything so expensive, even a necessity. However, I wouldn't try to equate a doll purchase, or any luxury purchase, with the value of a donation or of charity/compassion/social welfare. Social welfare is an enormously complicated and, I think, somewhat convoluted situation. In the end, even people who make it their entire career cannot guarantee that their time and effort will actually help anyone--people must choose to help themselves. I agree with someone who spoke early on: one should not feel guilty about treating oneself, those who SHOULD feel guilty are the ones whose extravagance is actively oppressing others (a dictator who uses his subjugated nation's fund to elevate or empower himself/herself), or who are treated compassionately, but abuse the gifts they receive and then demand more.
Money in our society is imbued with a very cold and, I believe, undeserved amount of significance. Many of the things that I've been fortunate enough to afford with money are worth far more to me than the wealth itself: vacations spent with my family, my cat, and my doll, for instance.

 

Again, it's all relative. I have a friend who could buy an $800 doll without batting an eyelash, but I was horrified at the price of my first real bjd. I didn't guilt-trip myself (It's my money, I can't take it with me, I'm not neglecting other obligations, etc. etc. ) and bought without guilt. Guilt should enter into it when you buy a doll instead of getting the car fixed or send to China for those expensive red boots before buying groceries.

 

I don't think that any spending needs to be justified, generate guilt, or that the spender should be held accountable for how they use their money. I also don't think that extravagant spending is necessarily irresponsible, so long as you can actually afford it without interfering with other financial responsibilities. I don't think the financially privileged are or should be morally obligated to help everyone in need, nor do I think that anyone should feel guilt over being a "have" instead of a "have not." At the end of the day, it's up to the person who owns the money to decide what to do with it.

Here's why I don't feel guilty about spending large amounts of money on unnecessary items. Spending puts money into the economy. When I buy a doll, I'm supporting a small business, helping pay somebody's paycheck, and stimulating the economy. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

I'd also like to add that I really dislike the idea that giving money is the only or the best way to be helpful. In many cases, giving your time is much more useful and meaningful. If people should be held accountable for anything, it should be how they spend their time, not their money. Spending money frivolously WILL help somebody somewhere down the line. Spending time frivolously will do nothing.

 

I only feel guilty when I have a balance on my credit cards from buying a BJD. I realize this now that I have paid off my cards. It's a relief not to owe anything. Of course, the first thing I did after I paid off my cards was look at the Thaasa II body that would be perfect for one of my floating Dollstown heads. I think I won't be using my CC anymore for buying doll things. It will be paypal direct from my bank account from now on.

 

There is a point where I feel a bit bad, but then again, by sponsoring a child, it will make you feel mentally better, but is the money really being put to good use? Is 90% of it eaten up in the process. I feel that as people that earn our own money should spend it however we need. If you feel like you should donate to places, then do so.

 

Personally, it doesn't bother me at all, and if I had the money, I would have every piece from all the top lines of clothing, simply because I'm really into fashion. I think that you should buy whatever you want as long as your bank account allows it. If it bothers you that much, then donate to Unicef and participate in canned food drives and work in soup kitchens, but simply not buying something that you want because others can't afford it doesn't help anyone.

 

I feel guilty spending money on dolls for many reasons. Firstly, because I have other places I could be putting that money, like saving it for tuition. It took me a long time to work up the courage to buy my doll, even though I had plenty saved up, I knew it could be going to a better place. Secondly, I feel guilty because most of my friends and family put all of their money towards bills and other expenses and don't have anything left to spend on themselves. I feel bad knowing that I'm blowing my money on dolls when they could use that money for something that they really need.

 

No one should feel guilty doing what makes them happy, so long as they can still keep up their own obligations beforehand. You only get one life, and you shouldn't live it feeling guilty about trying to make yourself happy.

If you feel that you can/should use some of your money to help others in need, and feel that will make you happy, then by all means, do it, then buy your doll later. Or you can do vice versa. One does not have to choose between being giving and buying things for themselves. Don't need to feel guilty unless you are blowing money that you need to pay bills, buy food, support yourself/your family.

 

To be honest, no. I don't feel like it's my obligation to try and help everyone. I'm nice to people, i help out those i love and i manage with a very small income.
I've never felt guilty about not giving that money to someone else when purchasing a doll, doll accessories, or even nice clothes, jewelry, or make up.
Personally, i don't think it's right to judge anyone on what they choose to do with their money. Much as you don't have to feel guilty about not giving that money to charity, you don't have to be angry or annoyed with how others spend theirs.

 

Yes, but only on a personal level.

Sometimes I feel like an idiot for spending so much money on dolls when I could be saving my money or using it for more practical purposes... but I also do not feel guilty for spending my own money on whatever I want when there are people starving in third-world countries.

 

sometimes i feel guilty but as a newbie i want it all! LOL I think once i have my basic dolls and some clothes for them i wont feel such a need to shell out as much, startting out in the hobby is tough! lol but I love it all the same

 

I usually have a twang of guilt when i have just purchased a doll, and have to figure out how to pay it off, but this hobby/obsession is something that is just for me, and i give so much to my family and community all year long.. I think i deserve it, and the guilt/terror of spending passes quickly as excitement takes over!

 

I agree with you Ethra! I think it is okay to support this hobby,as long as you and your family are not suffering financially because of it~~~

 

I feel guilty just at the thought of buying my first BJD! But I feel guilty about everything...for the plastic wrappings on the food I buy, for the scourge of cheap clothes shop that use child labour, for forgetting to buy free range pork sausages, so unwittingly supporting animal abuse...the list goes on.
It is the curse of the middle classes to feel guilty and to want to save the world.
Much of the suffereing in the world is down to poor management of countries by corrupt governments. We cannot do much about that, sadly.
As for spending, my working class neighbours will happily go to the pub a few times a week and spend £100 on drink and not bat and eyelid. The women all have new clohtes, hairdos and fake tans. The blokes have the latest fottball strip. They smoke, polluting the environment as well as basically burning money! Our country is full of people like this, but they feel no guilt over spending their cash on things that make them happy, like getting very drunk!

I used to buy shoes and clothes I never wore. Now I buy dolls (only Blythe and Pullip so far). As long as I don;t get nyself into debt over my obsession, I think it is OK to buy what you love.

 

I try to be as thrifty and waste-not-want-not in all other areas of my life, partially because that's how I was raised, so the guilt in regards to living lavishly is not as much a problem for me, and I'm planning on being thrifty with my doll as well, sewing his own clothes and building his furniture from wood bits and the like. I know there are some people who will criticize me for this because of their own ideas of how you should treat your dolls (I've heard of people being told they're being abusive for not buying their dolls new clothes every month?) but Evren is the type of person who won't care anyway. He's a little earthy squirt who would run around in a potato sack if I let him. x3

 

My experience with this is why there's been several I've passed on just because I'd feel so bad spending that much on a doll. If I spent that much on a gift, I wouldn't feel nearly as bad (still a little as then I'd feel bad not being able to do something like that for everyone) though.

The hardest thing for me is that there's some I really adore and then I'm stuck feeling sad either out of guilt [from spending so much] or not managing to get it.

 

I'm the type of person who feels guilty relatively easily, but I also tend to bounce back quickly. I just spent $290 to get my grail doll, and even though that's cheaper than he would have cost from the company I still feel a little guilty for using that money on him. I know when he's finally in my hands the feeling will leave, but right now he's the most I've ever spent. Two of my other grail dolls cost close to $1000, so even though I really love them I'll probably never buy them, because that guilt would probably eat me alive.

 

I don't think it's necessarily the most rational way to spend my money - e.g. I keep thinking I should maybe put the cash into a savings fund towards a deposit for a home of my own, and then I remember that it would take about 20 years of rigid scrimping to achieve an allowable deposit in any case, and at least this makes me happy! though in fairness, all my dolls have been (at least) 2nd hand so far and towards the cheaper end!

 

Yes, sometimes. Because I spend all my free money on dolls and not a lot on my relationship which often makes me feel bad... But my BF always encourages me to buy more dolls because he loves to see how they make me happy and shares my joy for them more and more