Dolls and money: guilt trips over spending?

I think I have also recently so guilt and distress, though I spend my salary, but when I put too much money, I will feel guilty, I sometimes think that investment is worth, I should give the money to the parents more or buy a fund, although my doll is not much, but I very like a pretty doll clothes, beautiful eyes and hair, beautiful all the parts, and will control the purchase, a year down is not a small sum of investment. I want to look for an effective control of balance, so that I can have more money;
But I don't regret to buy my children, they are very beautiful, I feel proud for them, and my friends and I sell baby clothes, they gave me a lot of help, you can say they gradually earned income, this let me very happy.
I think I need to work for a period of time, through this difficult time, everything will be ok.

 

I don't feel guilty. It is okay to treat yourself with something nice every once in a while. It's not like feeling bad about spending is going to make the world a better place and there is only so much you can do to fight poverty.

I believe that if you (general) never give yourself a treat, it will be so much harder to be there for others. If all that seems to be important is other people, and not you, sooner or later you will start to resent them. So,in a way, by letting yourself go once in a while, you will receive joy and energy that you can give back to the people around you.

EDIT:
Just something that crossed my mind: why is it that when we think of people in need, we automatically think of hungry/ poor people in a far away country? What about the elderly woman living next to me who never gets any visitors? What about the woman across the street who recently lost her job and does not have enough money to pay her bills, let alone give her children some new shoes? Or those strugling with life-threatening disease, or serious mental disorders?

There is plenty of need around us. We don't always have to donate money to a charity to make a small difference in the world. Sometimes it's just as helpful to donate our time and visit people.

 

@silk
I don't know about you, but over here the schools, the TV channels, the newspapers, the internet, they all stressed 'children in africa needs help' charity actions. "Donate $5 a month and help ____ live a better life" and all that jazz. And in comparison we never heard about the sick and elderly in our country that maybe needed the same money (or, it is never given the same amount of attention, and never a charity.). It is drilled down into our heads from we were like 5-6 years old that people in need equals poor, starving people in Africa (and children in particular), and so it's really quite... natural that it is the first thing we think about when someone say 'people in need'.

 

@sanachii: Yes I know (the Netherlands and Norway aren't that different really) and I think it's strange. I mean, it looks like the media is so focused on problems far away that they seem to forget that there are people in need in our own countries as well. The situations here might not be as visible and dramatic as in some war-torn countries, but that doens't make them any less heartbreaking.

I'm not saying that donating money isn't good or necessary, because it is. I'm saying that there are many ways to help out. You (general) don't have to feel guilty for spending that money on a luxury. You wouldn't even have to feel guilty, in my opinion, if you didn't do any charity at all. You shouldn't have to feel forced to do anything.

 

@silk
I agree with you. It's putting it crudely and probably selfishly, but it feels like all the charity actions are forced down only so we can uphold some ridiculous face among other countries. "Ah, ____ donated $_____ to ____, what an amazingly wonderful country, I'm sure they have problems ever. Best country to live, 4sure". It would be nice to have some publicity and awareness on the fact we have about X thousand internal problems that could have used the same donation. Clean up your own yard before you grab the shovel and start cleaning up your neighbours', so to speak.

To add something to the actual topic, haha.. I think there was another topic on doll spendings and guilt somewhere, and I stand by my opinion there: As long as you buying dolls does not negatively affect the economy of someone else (less they allow it, but bah, to many grey-holes to elaborate on here.) then there is nothing selfish about it... in my mind anyway.

 

I started reading this thread because of my own guilt over how much i recently spent on a doll. although it is not near as much as many have spent it is the most i have ever spent on anything let alone a doll. (that being $415)
my own guilt has arisen from many factors number one being that two of my best friends are currently jobless and penniless with the bills piling up. I didn't know just how bad it was at the time when i bought my doll but it saddens me so much.... how can i spend so much when they have so little? i could have given them that money to help them.
the second factor is that i am living with my parents (though i work and pay rent) and we just found out that the situation is as such that other then food and bills they will be unable to spend any money. and i'm sitting here looking at my friends and my family who are unable to buy themselves even the smallest of things and i...i feel horrible that meanwhile i'm over here buying a $400 doll.
on the flip side when i discovered my friends situation i was able to give them a small amount of money to help them out (not nearly what i could have if i hadn't bought the doll but i was still able to give what i could at the time) i offered to up the amount i was paying to my parents as rent.
its not much but its something.
the thing is. i'm not giving them this money because i feel guilty i'm doing it because i love them and i know how much of a difference it will make in their lives. helping people is what makes me happy. and i know for certain that they will use the money for things like bills and food.
now as to the question of the homeless and those in third world countries i don't feel guilty for not spending that money on them and my reasons are as such. i can't help everyone and i don't know them personally. i cant make certain of where the money is going and what is being done with it. so instead of giving money if i see a homeless person on the corner asking for money i ask them instead what i can buy them and hand them a card with the information of the local help line and shelters. i buy them a meal or a coat or a backpack whatever it is that they need. like with my friends it may not be much but i know that it helps. i give my time when i can working with local groups. (got to have a lot of fun one time tearing apart and rebuilding a house ^-^)
anyway winding down what has become a novel of a comment. the reason i can spend this money on both my friends and on those i find in need of help is because i set aside a percent what i earn be it from work or other income into a fund for such things.
which brings me to my opinion of that matter of if one should feel guilty about extravagant expenditures. (i will be honest i do believe that we should be helping those around us because of my faith as a christian but also because when we cease to help those around us and focus only on ourselves we only add to the darkness and selfishness of this world.) I think it comes down to a matter of excess and percentage how much of your money are you spending only on things you don't need? is it creating a situation where you would be unable to give? unable to help.
that and a final note money can help but your time and effort means just as much if not more. that house i helped tear down and rebuild was for families to live in while one of their members was going through cancer treatments since there was no where in town for those with children to stay other then hotels. i could not afford to pay for them to rent a house and what little i could have given would have done nothing. But i was able to help create a place for them to feel safe and loved during the worst time in there lives.

 

I've felt guilty before about spending on dolls, but I also feel guilty about spending on anything that's not 100% necessary. However, I've slowly been trying to learn that having luxury items and wanting them is not a bad thing. Those who degrade hobbies by saying that 'there are starving children in Africa' usually don't give two hoots about those children and just want to ridicule and hold up straw man arguments.

As long as you're not jeopardizing the things you actually need, such as food, water, and shelter, there is nothing wrong with buying nice things. People are allowed happiness-es in life. On top of that, there is no reason to choose between a nice thing for yourself and doing something good for the community. You can totally spend money on dolls and donate your money, time, energy, or whatever else to those less fortunate.

 

Normally I never feel guilty about buying dolls or doll stuff. I usually have a plan and I stick with it, if I plan to purchase a doll I at least try to have half of the amount saved before I even begin a layaway, and that is mostly just so that in case an unforeseen situation happens, I won't be struggling to take care of that plus the layaway I committed to. I never favor a doll at the expense of my every day life's financial obligations.

However now I'm dealing with some life changing situations that require me to be more diligent with my spending, and have really made me think a lot more about what my money should be going to.
Like most everyone, I work hard for everything I own and shop smart, and I have that mentality of "I earned that money, I can do what I want with it." But I first and foremost have to think rationally and think about the future. Having all these dolls won't do me any good if none of my financial obligations are met, and I would rather not have to try and sell anyone. When I look at my dolls, I don't see how much I paid, but the hard work and effort I did to get them.

But all that to say this, with all the new obstacles I'm facing, I feel incredibly guilty even just buying a $20 wig because all I can think about is "What if I need that $20 later?" And I don't want those thoughts or that guilt to be factors or feelings that I later associate with my dolls.

 

Sometimes I'll think, I shouldn't have bought that doll or item but in general I buy what I like. The joke now is if I buy it how long before it ends up in one of my garage sales I do with my sister!
My dolls make me & keep me happy. They are an extension of my work as a visual display & merchandising manager so they go hand in hand so to speak.
I love to look at them & they make feel good about myself.
To help in the community I help feed stray feral cats. I'm more apt to help an animal then I would a person as the animlas can't ask for help!

 

I never really feel guilty about spending money on my dolls. I am not the kind of person who helps others a lot, but I don't require others to help me either. I have my own rule about when I am allowed to buy a doll, I never buy on layaway, if there is something I want then I have to save up the money first and then buy it directly. That way I know that I am not spending money I can't afford on something. If it is a limited edition doll then I will just accept that I must buy it as secondhand.

This month I have bought a whole doll, two heads, four sets of clothes, face-up for six heads and although I spend at amazing amount of money I still don't feel guilty because I had saved those money up for the sake of spending them on dolls. As long as the money I use has been tagged for dolls then I don't feel guilty.